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Monday Rush

Survivor/Independent Woman/Bitch?

SURVIVOR. INDEPENDENT WOMAN. Those who don’t understand her (perhaps), prefer the term BITCH. Whichever you chose, the fact remains the world has come to acknowledge the continuous development of a new breed of women (perhaps?) or the mere evolution of a gender from its emotional, submissive ancestral background to a liberal, independent and perhaps, dominating future.

Before you ask which of the above stated terms I prefer, let me state that you’re on The Naked Truth, where we bare it all and say things the way we see it (not necessarily how the world does). Gone are the days where your typical Ad for a wifey material woman would read something like “She cooks, she cleans and she’ll still keep you satisfied in the bedroom”. I wonder what that kind of Ad would sound like today – Expert at microwaving and washing machines and if she can’t satisfy you in the bedroom, she’ll let you watch while she gives “Thunder” the near-human dildo a run…

Okay, to all the ladies, reading, put away the knives and guns, I’m not a ‘Kiko’ the caveman who believes the only type of relationship a man and woman should have is that of master and slave. I totally believe in women independence and liberalization. What I can’t stand is laziness, being insensitive and absolute lack of regard to the things that should matter a lot in life. That being said, I should also note that ‘men’ are not the focus of this write-up, we have our issues (loads of them) but today, I’m writing about you – yes, you – our sisters, girlfriends, and wives.

Globalization is on the rise and the temptation to adopt western cultures is irresistible. This process becomes toxic when the adopted cultures begin to overshadow the foundational ones. This is one school of thought, which believes the recent increase in the call for independence and liberalization of women is as a result of influence from foreign cultures. Media exposure and the revival of the middle class to the point where frequent trips abroad is no longer strange serve as some of the major points of infiltration of these cultures.

Excessive smoking in public, ‘highly’ indecent fashion culture, anti-societal sexual orientation, inclination towards single-parenthood, disregard for the institution of marriage, social prostitution e.t.c are some of the resultant characteristics of this unholy marriage of cultures. Think it’s far-fetched? Take another look around you and you’ll notice that these trends are becoming more and more visible amongst the young women of our society.
The other school of thought believes it’s a natural generational shift. With or without the exposure to the western world and their practices, it is believed that a race will eventually get to a point where they need to evolve a new culture and for us in Nigeria and perhaps Africa, that time is now.

Whichever school you decide to take sides with is your choice. For me, the issue is the fact that the said ‘traits’ or ‘characteristics’ are becoming more and more visible in our society and day-by-day I become more grief-stricken as I ponder the faith of single young men like myself.  Once again, please resist the urge to shift focus to us men (we have our issues).
From the characteristics mentioned above, I’m sure we can fish out one or two that can be managed. I’m sure some guys love their women wearing super high bum-shorts to the mall at noon on a Saturday and the sexual acts, well, as long as it stays in your closet, it’s all good with me. The truth however remains that most of the predominant characteristics are those that most won’t excuse. Take for instance, the smoking. I’m not a smoker and all my life I wondered how women could stand making out for long with men who did but ‘Men Smoke’ – that’s accepted in the society, not that we never knew women didn’t do it, it’s just widely accepted that women smoking isn’t right. When this now grows from a few rebellious women to a bunch of average girls in college or even secondary school, it starts to worry me.

Gone are the days where men who wanted to ward off women would wear a ring. The survivor women of today are vixens. They’ll hunt you down, weather you’re single, hooked or hitched – what they want, they get. After all, the competition is stiffer. At 9 women to 1 man (not confirmed), every woman has to embrace whatever technique seems to be most effective. These techniques range from being a total ‘bimbo’ to a perfect ‘bitch’. More and more women fail at the former (who wants to get stuck with a bimbo) and therefore they’ve come to embrace the later.
And so, the survivor/independent woman/bitch character is born. She can’t be seen sweating away long hours in the kitchen when wide arrays of fast food restaurants exist. She’ll make the occasional foray into the land of cooking, but only to make Nigeria’s favourite working-class meal – noodles. For everything else, an ‘Ekaite’ would just have to suffice (there are less and less of those nowadays). She drives a brand new car (leased by her hubby, a mugu/maga or daddy paid for it) and she’s independent. Her hair extensions have to be ‘human’ else she’ll cut it all low (the model boy look). Nails mostly fixed (French tips should be renamed ‘Nigerian tips’). Depending on how ‘independent’ she’s going for, the lashes and some other body parts may also come fixed.

Piercings are in mega-multiples (independent sometimes = rebellious) – ears, nose, belly e.t.c. The makeup is MAC, Sleek, Tara or one of those monosyllabic high-end makeups else she won’t set a foot outside. Even the lazy stroll to the mallam’s kiosk comes packaged with the ever-handy lip-gloss. Forget atmosphere – that’s for the junior indies, our survivor is rocking some major labels. When she can’t get her hands on them, she commissions her own label (though, it’s a tailor who works out of ‘lere, once she calls it something as fancy as “moto-moto” – instant hit). Same goes for the bags and other accessories. The shoes are mostly towering. Though most of our indies are petite, god-forbid you see them as ‘lower than you’ in stature. An additional 4 to 6 inches won’t kill –right?
If the looks alone done get the word out, she has to throw in a few other characteristics. How about smoking – publically? And then drinking. Sure, we all do it but she’ll get carried away and occasionally you’ll see her being ‘carried’ away by friends from one club or the other after she messes herself up. The sex part is unbelievable. She’s so openly experimental and the ‘one-night stand’ culture is rising fast in Nigeria thanks to her. Her friends don’t want to get left out too, so they’ll collaborate and explore the world of ‘menages’ threesomes and ‘more-somes’.

It goes on and on and on but I can’t possibly say it all. My aim was to introduce us all to this new breed of women developing in our society so we can identify them and maybe even, celebrate them. Have you met her? Now you know who she is and some of her characteristics, what’s your take?

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About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman

Discussion

5 thoughts on “Survivor/Independent Woman/Bitch?

  1. First of all let me say that’s a truly creative piece.Evidently shows your gift and true mastery of the art of writing.

    Women ultimately these days are survivors……whatever they morph into is simply borne out of that desire to establish their position in society…hate them or love them,we need them and they need us!

    Posted by Ayorinde Adunse | September 8, 2010, 8:37 pm
  2. Absolutely traditional…that’s me!!!!I wonder wat wld become of the next generation

    Posted by thelegendress | September 17, 2010, 3:09 pm
  3. Lovely piece u have here, controversial yeah, but a good write-up. I can’t but agree with you though I might wrd it a bit differently. Noice!!

    Posted by Yemi Adetoye | September 21, 2010, 5:17 pm
  4. I totally agree wif u on this piece..its practically shameful we women take being independent to a totally whole new level..we in naija even up d ante in our quest to be beta @it than our western contemporaries thereby losing our morals in d process..agreed d trad woman is not completly appealing..i would think left 2 me tho take d best of both worlds and chuck d rest..anyways God help d men who marry such women!! In other news…Great and honest piece

    Posted by Oluwatowbad | November 2, 2010, 8:33 pm
  5. …very interesting blog. ‘Our bestfriend’s wedding’ has kept me busy. Still reading (just finished episode 6 now) but, why do i think Jade has a spot for Cha-cha???

    Posted by rethots | July 22, 2011, 4:21 pm

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