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Blog jacking Friday

6 Things men in love do

Hey guys, its blog jacking Friday again and this week I must confess it was so hard picking a post to put up…soooo many good stuff out there. Anyways, here’s my pick, hope you like it.

Sounds simple enough, but in an age where we text, FaceBook, tweet, BBM and do everything but pick up a phone and call, a man making an effort to reach out to talk to a woman speaks volumes. I’m a notorious multi-tasker that falls victim to the ease of electronic communication but it lacks the personal nuances of direct communication.
It’s one thing to have someone call me and I hold a conversation, but if I find myself thinking of a female and longing to hear her voice, chances are I’m feeling her in some way. Drunk dials and booty calls don’t count, only conversations where the man is expressing genuine interest in getting to know a woman.

A lot of people don’t realize it, but listening is an art form. Half of the time when people are talking we’re not listening to the other person we’re only waiting to interject with our own response. Men are the guiltiest of this because a lot of women are longwinded and tend to ramble. Hey, that’s probably sexist but for argument’s sake let’s just say that it’s true.
I’ve found myself caught up in plenty of one-sided conversations with women where I could give a rat’s ass about what she was talking about. Whenever I catch myself spacing out and having no interest in her story or what she finds important, I take that as a sign that this woman isn’t the one for me. Yeah, she might be cute and I could be attracted to her; but if she can’t hold my interest in conversation then what’s the point?
On the flipside, when I’m paying attention and communication is flowing both ways there might be hope. In fact, it’s usually when I’m listening and actually interested that I remember important things like a woman’s birthday, favorite flower, movie or color, how many siblings she has and what she said 10 minutes ago. Conversations about sex don’t count, again, only ones where a man is genuinely interested in getting to know a woman.

Ever since I was little boy I hated going shopping with my mother because it was long, tedious and ultra boring. As an adult, I’ve had pretty much the same experience during shopping sprees with the fairer sex. Women stop at every store and section, fawning over the cutest dress/skirt/sweater/blouse/top/jacket, weighing the options of ever accessory and trying on every pair of shoes on sale—no matter if they already have something in the exact same color.
Any man that gets dragged along for the experience is usually bored out of his mind. He’s stuck standing outside the dressing room waiting for her to make a selection out of the several items she’s decided to try on, only to repeat the process as she discovers something that she’s missed while en route to the register. If given the option, most men will pass on the tagalong shopping experience.
However, when a man’s feeling a woman he might not only grin and bear it, but actually participate. A straight man that appreciates how his woman looks might willingly chime in on her outfit and enjoy the mini-modeling show of having her try on different outfits for his approval. Trips to Victoria’s Secret don’t count because what man wouldn’t appreciate a potential lingerie peep show.

Men are very particular about certain things, especially movies and TV shows. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard men say how they’ve never seen Brokeback Mountain based off the fact it’s a homosexual love story. But if a woman they were really feeling was dying to see that film or something comparable and equally woman-friendly (i.e. Sex & the City and any one of Tyler Perry’s movies) there’s a strong possibility he might bend.
I for one have been roped into watching something I never thought I would because of a woman I was feeling or in love with. My college/live-in girlfriend had a thing for Golden Girls and every night she would watch it, while I’d much rather check out Star Trek: The Next Generation, but because she was my boo I bit the bullet and suffered through Blanche, Dorothy Rose and Sophia’s antics night after night. I now cringe anytime I come across that show.
I’ve also been subjected to watching shows like Bridezilla, Bad Girls Club and the Food Network, as well as sappy chick flicks, for the sake of a woman that had my heart. Sometimes, as with Bad Girls Club, which features scantily clad women cat fighting, I secretly learned to like the shows, but I’d be damned if I admitted that to any of my boys. (Technically, I just did though—Doh!). But a man that gives up control of the remote (and movie tickets) to a woman is a sign he’s feeling you in my book.

For the most part, men are not emotional creatures so crying is the ultimate form of opening up. Now, it’s not like guys are running around shedding tears at every opportunity but in the rare instances where one does it should be noted. Crying is a major display of vulnerability and if a man breaks down in front of a woman because of a death in the family or a similarly tragic experience it displays a considerable amount of trust in her.
Speaking from experience, I’ve shed a tear or two in the past during an intense heart to heart with the then-woman in my life about the death of my grandfather or some painful experience. Being able to express myself in that way was extremely difficult but showed a level of emotional intimacy that a man wouldn’t just share with anyone.
The flipside of the crying scenario is a man shedding tears at the end of a relationship. If a man had no feelings for the woman at all it would be no problem, but a man breaking down over a breakup shows that he truly cared about her. The fake sobs of a man busted for cheating don’t count, though.

Anyone can say “I love you,” but actually meaning it is a whole other ball game. The hard part is discerning when a man is being genuine and not just running game. If the L-word gets uttered during the throes of passion, then it should be taken with a grain of salt, as good sex will make people say and do almost anything. The true test of a man’s feelings comes from his actions.
I’m the type of individual that only says what I mean, so if “I love you” spews out of my mouth there should be an understanding that I mean it. However, not everyone is as honorable. There are individuals that will claim they love you until they’re blue in the face, yet these are the ones who are continually cheating and lying. As I’ve said before, words have no real value without meaning.
Man in love with a woman will not only say it but he will show it. He’ll call you when he misses you. He’ll listen to you when you’re talking. He’ll make sacrifices to make you happy. He’ll be emotionally available and willing to express himself with you. He’ll mean what he says and do whatever it takes to make you feel like the most important woman in the world.
Do you appreciate someone that’s interested in you actually calling as opposed to texting? How important is voice-to-voice communication in determining whether or not you like someone? Do you agree that listening is an art form? Does good conversation enhance your attraction for someone? Do you appreciate someone that’s willing to sacrifice their time to do something you’re interested in? Do you see crying as a very intimate experience between two people? Would you lose or gain respect for someone that was able to cry in front of you? Have you ever said “I love you” and not meant it? Why? What signs do you use to tell if someone is genuinely in love with you?

Ok, there you go people, do you agree/disagree? Have your say.

Courtesy: http://nwso.net/2010/09/20/6-signs-he-likes-you/

About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman


4 thoughts on “6 Things men in love do

  1. True all d way.

    Posted by johhnyb | September 24, 2010, 10:42 am
  2. I like..

    Posted by Nenee | September 24, 2010, 12:06 pm
  3. Do you appreciate someone that’s interested in you actually calling as opposed to texting? —>> YES! i prefer calls to BBMs and all that.. i have even lied that i dont have a BB just to see if some guys wud call.. Some did n some dint bother..

    How important is voice-to-voice communication in determining whether or not you like someone? Well, not everyone likes voice calls.. maybe coz its easier to decipher the truth that way and prefer to hide under the shadow of calls and IMs.. you get me.. but voice-to-voice communication is Very important… i cant even stress why it is sef.. but it sha is

    Does good conversation enhance your attraction for someone? Not everyone is blessed with the art of having a good conversation with pple.. I (not to brag here) but i easily hold a good convo with anyone.. boring or interesting pple.. but sometimes i find that even after having a good convo with someone, it creates some level of attraction but later on it dies especially wen the oda sex just wants to talk about sexually related stuff… that in no way is a good convo as it shows signs that ur a booty call.. i dont know if i am making sense sha.. but i know what im trying to say though.. lol… A good conversation should hold everytime.. not just once and end there.. so i wud agree with u here that a good convo enhances attraction BUT as long as it is constant

    Do you appreciate someone that’s willing to sacrifice their time to do something you’re interested in? Who doesnt na!

    Do you see crying as a very intimate experience between two people? Would you lose or gain respect for someone that was able to cry in front of you? Yes to the first part and as for the second part, No way would i lose respect for someone who cries… its a bold thing to cry in front of someone else than ur mirror or alone in ur room.. it shows that u hold such person in high esteem and trust them to actually see you cry

    Have you ever said “I love you” and not meant it? Why? Cant answer this one… LOL.. But i have never said the L word without meaning it.. it takes a lot to just say that…. unlike the Guys that say it to get into a babes pata… (I See You)

    What signs do you use to tell if someone is genuinely in love with you? This is hard.. You really cant know if someone loves you.. its more of an action thing but still.. it may not even be love.. it may just be endurance to get what you want and go ( especially with dudes.. yes m a gal )
    but things like wanting to share every moment with u, calling u at odd times just coz he’s thinking about u (well, it cud be that he just wants to have sex tho.. but its still a cute thing to call when u just think of someone)..
    also things like planning .. eg.. he/she asking u what ur doing for the weekend just to tailor their schedule to be with you or spend some time with you is also a sign.. But all in All, We cant see the Human heart or read the mind.. Just go with the flow and follow your heart and one can only pray that the Love is reciprocated…

    Posted by Tee | September 27, 2010, 11:40 am
  4. Wow…Interesting analysis. Love the fact that you not only read through but also gave it a thought. I pretty much agree with all you’ve said. Quoting you “… You really cant know if someone loves you… its more of an action thing “. I think that right there sums it all up. Don’t we all wish we could see through all the crying and going an extra mile to do stuff you like… Imagine a world where we could all read each others minds (idea for another post)…you’d think – no heartbreaks, right? Well, knowing us humans Im sure we would find a way around it. Anyways, thanks for the comment…keep ’em coming.

    Posted by thetoolsman | September 27, 2010, 12:21 pm

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