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Blog jacking Friday

The Real Woman: Endangered Species?

I’m in the mood for trouble this morning. I’ve had little or no sleep and I had to be at work before 7am so why not. I came across a debate online last week about women wanting simple things, which we men often cant give. When most women are asked what it is they look for in men, the answer almost always goes something like, … I just want a real man; caring, affectionate, financially stable and of course, good looking.

Well, I agree with that answer. Truth is it’s similar to the response expected from guys. However, upon closer examination, I singled out the term “real man”. Yes. What exactly do they mean by that. I ask this question because turning the tables and taking the literal meaning, the term “real woman” means something completely different and probably close to extinction nowadays.

Hold on. Don’t yell just yet. The word ‘real’ is defined as: something actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed in the dictionary but maybe that’s too broad. For the purpose of this write up, I shall narrow my scope to looks. I was at the Lord of the Ribs event last night (reason for my short night) and most some of the gurls I saw got me wondering just how ironic things are. Women expect us to be completely honest but the same cant be said for how some women present themselves to men. Their words may be true but that’s where it stops. Eyes, hair, body e.t.c. Some women go to great lengths to create an alternate version of themselves. It’s gotten to the point where men have to openly question if a woman is “real or not.”

Why are women doing this? Is there a belief that this is what a man wants? Or are they simply attempting to mask their own insecurities? One thing’s sure; the more I talk to other men about this, the more I notice the growing displeasure with this alarming upward trend of “fake” women. Before you bite me, let me state that I’m not a cave man and I’m all for women getting dulled up to look nicer. Lip gloss – brilliant. Lipstick – sexy. (Or should I say, can be sexy). Hair, nails e.t.c  but as with most things in life, there’s that line (however thin) between just enough and excessive.

To further illustrate, I have included some images below. Look through them and please share your comments (especially the women). Deuces.




I love lashes, when they don’t look like thorns. Imagine waking up next to a girl after a night out to find her lashes somewhere on her face.


Butt Injections



Body Magic




Booty Pads



Lace front


Honestly, I don’t mind these but I’ve spoken to guys who absolutely hate them.


About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman


21 thoughts on “The Real Woman: Endangered Species?

  1. Lol…insecurites? Correct! Tryna look like what men hv given the impression that they like? Correct! Yes as u have spoken to men that hate it there are men that appreciate em as well. Some of us girls have figured that we won’t get attention (or the attention we want) with how we look. And its just as simple as that really…
    U could also say trying to create a different look from their original one which isn’t entirely being insecure…some of us get bored by hw we look I guess.

    Posted by Xabi | October 11, 2010, 8:34 am
  2. Well…..like Xabi said, there are the men that love their women going all out with th hair, lashes, nails etc n there are also those that don’t. In my opinion, if a lady is in a relationship, she shld find out what her man likes n go all out in that direction but if a lady is single, she shld do whatever she luvz with herself. You’ve got only one life. Living it to please some people’s expectation of what a real woman is or isn’t is just bullshit cos @ the end of the day, if u are asked “how do u feel about ur appearance?” Wld u give a huge smile or wld u start by sighing heavily. N on th lacefront P, I used to dislike em but I have realised it depends on who makes ur hair cos I have seen women wear em beautifully. To me there is no diff btwn em n th normal weaves. They are just a lot more convenient if I must say so myself. Ait….my 2 cents :).

    Posted by Nono | October 11, 2010, 9:27 am
  3. All dis fakery is undoubtedly 2 d detriment of a relationship, cuz if a man goes 2 bed wiv a pretty woman n wakes up wiv ayamatanga, na 2 run be dat. Personally I hate d whole shabang, fake hair is d extent of my fakery, and dat was b4 I chopped all ma hair off. If a man isn’t attracted 2 u w/out d lashes, nails, green contacts(stupidity btw) n long flowing hair, wat is d point??? When d woman gets older nko??? Eventually d fakery wld have 2 stop and all d man is left with, is the real woman, whether she’s pretty or not, he didn’t fall in love wiv her, he fell in love wiv d plastic! Women beware!

    Posted by olawunmi | October 11, 2010, 10:58 am
  4. Mr tools…I kinda understand what u r driving at…and really ‘different strokes for different Blokes’..In as much as u ‘THINK’ every man wants d natural/not excessive makeup n all…some guys actually love seeing women wiv all dem lacewigs, eyelash etc…so i’m finkin u r just lookin at dis from ur own perspective….and i’m not tryin to get emotional or anything..but i’m wondering why guys get it twisted that wotever women do has to be about GUYS,…..I have so much to say but i’ll stop here..

    Posted by eiddas | October 11, 2010, 11:10 am
  5. I didn’t exactly say every man wants the natural woman. Different strokes just like you said. And as for everything being about us guys, well said too but you’ve gotta admit, for most of us, (even guys), when you’re in the salon/barber’s shop getting that cut, picking that hair do, one of the things that goes through your mind is what ‘he’ or ‘she’ is going to think about it no? Yes, you should want to look good for you but in reality, most people only make the effort to (go on a diet, jog, go for surgery, cut alcohol) cause of the opposite sex.

    Posted by thetoolsman | October 11, 2010, 11:30 am
  6. I don’t understand what you are driving at? You hate these things ’cause they consistute a fake woman? I’m trying hard to understand here.

    Posted by Gamine | October 11, 2010, 11:36 am
  7. @Gamine err… let;s just say it comes down to these questions: Why are women doing this? Is there a belief that this is what a man wants? Or are they simply attempting to mask their own insecurities?

    Posted by thetoolsman | October 11, 2010, 11:46 am
  8. Toolsman,

    its easy to pick on the ladies and belittle them for the effort they put into looking good, but truth is these women are merely dancing to the tunes society plays. How many of your ex-girlfriends spotted the natural look? Before you throw your hand up to answer triumphantly, answer this as well; how many of your friends ogle ‘Natural Girls’? I know your hand just wilted. Lol

    I’m not an advocate for excessive ‘make-overs’ oh, they break my heart) but lets not call ladies names just ‘cos they’re trying to look good, for themselves and the men in their lives (or those they hope will log into their lives).

    Besides if you guys really like the natural look, promote it; tell us we look nice when we brave the look. You’re supposed to mean that sha.

    Posted by Nora Gbagi | October 11, 2010, 12:23 pm
  9. Look as long as when you carry the woman reach house land am for bed,na pom pom dey there and not kondo,then she is real. EOD.

    Posted by Darkside | October 11, 2010, 12:24 pm
  10. Apart from the fact that there is a huge part genetics and biology play in this. I would have you know that, People generally want to look attractive to other people, but then you have a lot of things down to individual preferences.

    The fact that you think everything done by women hinges on ‘What men want’ is really disturbing. Everybody has insecurities, why are you overly concerned about what you see on the outside, if you are concerned about the ‘real’ woman. Who is fake? Who is real?

    The qualities you listed for a man, why can’t they be listed for a woman. Or are you saying because a woman, has all this ‘fake’ things that she uses to enhance her features, she can’t possess the things that consitutees a ‘real’ woman?

    While i have never put on fake lashes, lace wigs, boob and bum implants and what not, i think it is largely hypocritical, to judge a ‘real’ person based on all that. Sometimes we are too concerned about things, that don’t matter.

    I’m sorry but by your point of view, anything short of the Garden of Eden fashion consitutes ‘fakeness’

    Posted by Gamine | October 11, 2010, 12:34 pm
  11. Well said but I think I need to refer you to this line in the post “I ask this question because turning the tables and taking the literal meaning, the term “real woman” means… “ As you rightly asked, what is real? What is fake? I only wrote about the ‘real woman’ in the context of her looks/outward appearance. Wearing booty pads doesn’t say much (if anything at all) about ones personality does it?

    Posted by thetoolsman | October 11, 2010, 12:44 pm
  12. lmfao.. I see….

    Posted by thetoolsman | October 11, 2010, 12:46 pm
  13. Usually I do not comment on wordpress because well It’s stressful but some of the comments here boggle me and I can tell they come from women.

    Firstly as to the post, I agree butt pads and spandex can be deceptive but lace wig? What is wrong with that? Injections while fake at first become a part of the persona nd thus are not deceptive after all it is what attracted you to her no? So maybe you men need to work on your definition of what a real woman is, no? But I agree I was freaked out when I found my ex gf’s lashes on my bed.

    “In my opinion, if a lady is in a relationship, she shld find out what her man likes n go all out in that direction ” Nono you could not be more wrong. Why should she have to go in the direction her bf wants? After-all she is the one who has to be happy with her appearance? No?If the man didn’t like what he saw before he should not have approached her or should have turned her down when she approached him. What if the man wants her natural and ol girl cant stand it and wakes up every morning hating how she looks?

    “All dis fakery is undoubtedly 2 d detriment of a relationship, cuz if a man goes 2 bed wiv a pretty woman n wakes up wiv ayamatanga, na 2 run be dat.” Olawunmi are men stupid? Did they really think that Nigerian girl was born with green or blue eyes or with lashes that could probably turn into the propeller of a helicopter? Or with long silky hair that is in no way Nigerian?

    In the end, Toolsman your post was biased because when you listed the qualities of a real man they were logical, when you listed the qualities of a real woman they were all physical. In the end women do a lot of these changes because they are convinced it’s what men like. Majority of bum injections are done by black/Hispanic women because they have been told by their brothers, husbands, e.t.c how they like thick girls or thick booties.

    Posted by Vanity | October 11, 2010, 1:06 pm
  14. @Toolsman

    ‘In the context of her looks” what I said still stands, Anything short of the Garden of Eden..for both Men and Women should be deemed ‘Fake’ So you my guy, are a fake man.

    Posted by Gaminegirlie | October 11, 2010, 1:16 pm
  15. Dear Toolsman….first of all….everyone likes different things……..I have a big butt but I want a bigger one…..I have lots of hair but I want more hair…I’ve got lashes that most girls will kill for but I want more. Cosmo, glamour, essence etc are some of the leading magazines for women of all colours and I haven’t seen one “real” woman on the cover. These things enhance beauty (hair, lashes…etc) its up to each person to decide what they like…….that being said….I can count how many tv presenters, newscasters or even video girls are “real women”….
    Though some women have no hope! (LOL) and some over do it…
    I draw the line @ body magic and nails….I don’t like them

    Posted by Gbemi | October 11, 2010, 1:19 pm
  16. Hi Vanity. Thanks for the comment. Let me just point out one thing, I didn’t list those as qualities of a real man. Refer to this “When most women are asked what it is they look for in men, the answer almost always goes something like, … I just want a real man; caring, affectionate, financially stable and of course, good looking.”

    Posted by thetoolsman | October 11, 2010, 1:26 pm
  17. Thank you Gbemi, been waiting for this…. smh @ you for wanting a bigger butt tho..ahn ahn, you want to kill us?

    Posted by thetoolsman | October 11, 2010, 1:29 pm
  18. lol…My school of thought has always been that women should do whatever boosts their self esteem. Different strokes for different folks, you never know what a person is struggling with in life to make them do the things they do.

    Posted by Phury | October 11, 2010, 2:06 pm
  19. lmao..well said..dats about as fake as it can get.

    Posted by yemmie | October 11, 2010, 10:21 pm
  20. fish…sharrap jo..ooops sorry…dats nt too constructive is it?
    sick and tired of guys bitching bout girls not being real. u cant pick d ones u want n say sum1 is too artificial, if i av on corn rows or lace wig, is dere a difference? still not my real hair..if i use white powder instead of foundation n mac, its still nt my real skin tone, i paint my nails red or i fix french tips….guys want all d good looks dat come outta fakeness. so please wen nxt u c me wiv my 6 inch heels u cn scream im fake cos im actually just 5.5 posing as 6.1….

    Posted by yemmie | October 11, 2010, 10:27 pm
  21. gbemi,
    i dont think your attribute to want more doesnt make you real, i think it is that extra mile chicks go through to satisfy that attribute that defines the real woman. like tools stated; there’s that line (however thin) between just enough and excessive. i know you have a big butt… but you want more *sighs* if this is the gbemi that i know and have met before, then there is a big problem!!. that aside, my own definition of a real woman is a chic that fulfills my own requirements of what an ideal woman should be i.e. look wise, success driven, independent, respectful e.t.c. but regardless, every chic has got her own desires when it comes to these requirements and the difference between a man’s ‘just enough’ and a chic’s ‘just enough’ is where either the excesses or shortages come from. we are wired differently and getting that common ground sometimes could be difficult. with all been said, nice write up Tools!

    Posted by fido | October 12, 2010, 5:37 pm

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