To begin with, if you came here looking for answers to the question posed in the post title, I’m sorry, but you can stop reading now. Yes, now. Truth is, if I knew the answer to this question, I would be either, (a), very rich, or (b), very dead. Seeing that I’m neither, you can rest easy knowing I’m just as confused as you are.
That being said, I shelved my initially planned post for this cause I was out with a bunch of friends on Saturday and on our way home, whilst stuck in traffic, conversation swayed to this topic. What really got me thinking was how everyone seemed to have their own opinion but before we arrived at our destination, one opinion seemed to have towered above the others.
So what do guys think women want?
As far as I’m concerned every woman just wants and needs the right amount of attention for her. Yes, it’s not the same for all women. Some are definitely more independent that others. While some want you calling them every chance you get, others just need to know that you’re alive. Does it have anything to do with age, upbringing, education or level of exposure? Probably. More like definitely. I don’t think most working women would require the same amount of attention as women still in the university.
Well, they shouldn’t, except for special cases where her work isn’t so demanding and she has so much time to kill. The bottom-line is, a simple phone call/text message/BBM message (depending on the level of the relationship) just to say good morning, one to see how the day is going in the afternoon and one last one (preferably a phone call this time) to wrap up the day, goes a long way. A lot of women hate the fact that guys only pay them attention when they want that poom poom. Even if that’s the plan, please try not to make it so obvious. Don’t call her out of the blues today and ask for her to come over to your crib the next day (well, except she’s err.. that kinda gurl).
I just think it all boils down to comfort. Give a girl what she needs, when she needs it (maybe how too ☺) and you have her sprung. Agreed, it could be very costly depending on your taste in women. In fact, I hear the going rate for university gurls nowadays is no joke. Gone are the days when you just buy them a drink at Insomnia, have an amazing night and leave some change for them to get home with. Nowadays, a year two unilag gurl lets you know from the get go that she has to leave your transaction with a Bold 3 – nothing less.
However, this is what things have come to. Call it buying happiness or love or whatever but that’s reality. You’ve got to pay your way through the many movies at the cinema, the many lunch and dinner dates, the several comedy and music shows, don’t forget credit, money for fuel when you go pick her up and sometimes food and gifts for her friends too.
C: Future Security
Is this really that hard? I mean, if I was a woman I would want only one thing too: to secure my future. Period. She could go at it alone but since society and culture have more or less made it compulsory for her to get married, she might as well pick a man that would help further secure this future. Before you get all defensive and liken this to Mr. B above, selecting a man for the purpose of future security doesn’t always have to mean picking the currently richest guy on your case. Women have a gift some of them don’t even know. A woman can meet a guy for the first time, look into his eyes and see years into his future. Every woman can smell prospects from a mile away and that’s what they want.
She doesn’t event care if the wedding isn’t the one she dreamt of as a little gurl, when things are right, she could have another one. They even have a name for it (renewal of vows). She might not have a car as at the time of the wedding, but she knows that Bentley GT is coming. And for her kids, the best of the best of the best education. Trust me, if you have all of this covered, she will become totally blind to every other thing you do.
Well, everyone has given their opinions and I guess I pretty much agree in one way or the other with all of you. But you see, all that you guys have said boils down to one thing – control. Every woman wants control over her man, over her brother and her son. Now when I say control, some might be quick to think of it as power. Well, power, yes, but not in the obvious (or manly) form. If a woman snaps her fingers and three men bark, that’s probably jazz. The kind of control I’m talking about is subliminal. The type some mothers use to convince their sons to take other wives or the type a wife uses to get her husband to pay for things without her asking.
This control is systematically gained over a period of time (the how? Is the big question here). Some have said it’s through good sex, others have said through good food. I honestly do not know. But, women from the older generations learnt how to gain this control and also keep it. This is what women from our generation haven’t mastered, hence the huge amount of divorces out there. I’ll give you an example:
A wife picks up her husbands BB and sees a message from him to another woman:
“please don’t break my heart”.
Upon returning, she questions her husband about the message. Husband responds and says:
“Its nothing really. Why all the fuss”.
Wife continues to pester husband and he says:
“but woman, why are you disturbing me, you know I’m naturally promiscuous, you’ve seen me with several other women before and you have never complained so what then is the issue this time”?
I don’t give a damn about your other women. It’s her I want to know, and how come she has you talking about heartbreak.
This little excerpt was a true-life story. I’ve heard several others where women openly admit to knowing about their husbands cheating but really don’t care as long as they come back home to them. Now that’s control.
Well, so, there you go people (even though there was a lil’ voice between C and D that said: They just want to rip your heart out of your ass). Like I said, I really don’t have an answer to this question so maybe you can help me out, do you think any of my friends are right or you have your own answer, please let me know. Cheers.