you're reading...
Blog jacking Friday

What women want?

To begin with, if you came here looking for answers to the question posed in the post title, I’m sorry, but you can stop reading now. Yes, now. Truth is, if I knew the answer to this question, I would be either, (a), very rich, or (b), very dead. Seeing that I’m neither, you can rest easy knowing I’m just as confused as you are.

That being said, I shelved my initially planned post for this cause I was out with a bunch of friends on Saturday and on our way home, whilst stuck in traffic, conversation swayed to this topic. What really got me thinking was how everyone seemed to have their own opinion but before we arrived at our destination, one opinion seemed to have towered above the others.
So what do guys think women want?

A: Attention
As far as I’m concerned every woman just wants and needs the right amount of attention for her. Yes, it’s not the same for all women. Some are definitely more independent that others. While some want you calling them every chance you get, others just need to know that you’re alive. Does it have anything to do with age, upbringing, education or level of exposure? Probably. More like definitely. I don’t think most working women would require the same amount of attention as women still in the university.

Well, they shouldn’t, except for special cases where her work isn’t so demanding and she has so much time to kill. The bottom-line is, a simple phone call/text message/BBM message (depending on the level of the relationship) just to say good morning, one to see how the day is going in the afternoon and one last one (preferably a phone call this time) to wrap up the day, goes a long way. A lot of women hate the fact that guys only pay them attention when they want that poom poom. Even if that’s the plan, please try not to make it so obvious. Don’t call her out of the blues today and ask for her to come over to your crib the next day (well, except she’s err.. that kinda gurl).

B: Comfort
I just think it all boils down to comfort. Give a girl what she needs, when she needs it (maybe how too ☺) and you have her sprung. Agreed, it could be very costly depending on your taste in women. In fact, I hear the going rate for university gurls nowadays is no joke. Gone are the days when you just buy them a drink at Insomnia, have an amazing night and leave some change for them to get home with. Nowadays, a year two unilag gurl lets you know from the get go that she has to leave your transaction with a Bold 3 – nothing less.

However, this is what things have come to. Call it buying happiness or love or whatever but that’s reality. You’ve got to pay your way through the many movies at the cinema, the many lunch and dinner dates, the several comedy and music shows, don’t forget credit, money for fuel when you go pick her up and sometimes food and gifts for her friends too.

C: Future Security
Is this really that hard? I mean, if I was a woman I would want only one thing too: to secure my future. Period. She could go at it alone but since society and culture have more or less made it compulsory for her to get married, she might as well pick a man that would help further secure this future. Before you get all defensive and liken this to Mr. B above, selecting a man for the purpose of future security doesn’t always have to mean picking the currently richest guy on your case. Women have a gift some of them don’t even know. A woman can meet a guy for the first time, look into his eyes and see years into his future. Every woman can smell prospects from a mile away and that’s what they want.

She doesn’t event care if the wedding isn’t the one she dreamt of as a little gurl, when things are right, she could have another one. They even have a name for it (renewal of vows). She might not have a car as at the time of the wedding, but she knows that Bentley GT is coming. And for her kids, the best of the best of the best education. Trust me, if you have all of this covered, she will become totally blind to every other thing you do.

D: Control
Well, everyone has given their opinions and I guess I pretty much agree in one way or the other with all of you. But you see, all that you guys have said boils down to one thing – control. Every woman wants control over her man, over her brother and her son. Now when I say control, some might be quick to think of it as power. Well, power, yes, but not in the obvious (or manly) form. If a woman snaps her fingers and three men bark, that’s probably jazz. The kind of control I’m talking about is subliminal. The type some mothers use to convince their sons to take other wives or the type a wife uses to get her husband to pay for things without her asking.

This control is systematically gained over a period of time (the how? Is the big question here).  Some have said it’s through good sex, others have said through good food. I honestly do not know. But, women from the older generations learnt how to gain this control and also keep it. This is what women from our generation haven’t mastered, hence the huge amount of divorces out there.  I’ll give you an example:

A wife picks up her husbands BB and sees a message from him to another woman:

“please don’t break my heart”.

Upon returning, she questions her husband about the message. Husband responds and says:

“Its nothing really. Why all the fuss”.

Wife continues to pester husband and he says:

“but woman, why are you disturbing me, you know I’m naturally promiscuous, you’ve seen me with several other women before and you have never complained so what then is the issue this time”?

Wife answers:

I don’t give a damn about your other women. It’s her I want to know, and how come she has you talking about heartbreak.

This little excerpt was a true-life story. I’ve heard several others where women openly admit to knowing about their husbands cheating but really don’t care as long as they come back home to them. Now that’s control.

Well, so, there you go people (even though there was a lil’ voice between C and D that said: They just want to rip your heart out of your ass). Like I said, I really don’t have an answer to this question so maybe you can help me out, do you think any of my friends are right or you have your own answer, please let me know.  Cheers.

About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman


23 thoughts on “What women want?

  1. Dude, you were spot-on in this post of yours. I’ve had several convos with ladies I know and this captures everything they want.

    Posted by Skills | November 1, 2010, 8:25 am
  2. *sigh* is that really control or just raw undiluted Strength?
    My cousin calls his gf an average of 2ce daily..- Attention.
    Pays her monthly bis..got her her bb whch is bigger than his…gives money..buys gifts occasionally even got her d puppy I begged him for self..-Comfort..
    He’s a good, financially stable and LOYAL bf and she knows so that’s Secure enough..
    Her roomie in sch just got this ‘maga’ who has bought from ipad to BBtorch prolly thinking of getting her a car and now my cousin’s gf has started whining some materialistic tune lately. Personally, I think even after all the goodies, gurls need some sort of challenge.

    Posted by StephanieIj | November 1, 2010, 9:12 am
  3. Thanks bruv…

    Posted by thetoolsman | November 1, 2010, 10:06 am
  4. hmm… challenge? Well, maybe for some but it’s pretty very easy to conclude nowadays that with most, it stops at the goodies…

    Posted by thetoolsman | November 1, 2010, 10:10 am
  5. Women who say they don’t care what he does out there as long as he comes home are not “in control”…….I think they are helpess, sad or just plain stupid…….
    Attack me all u want o, but a man who knows his woman is cheating and says he doesn’t care as long as he comes home is not called a man “in control”……
    The Divorce rate is high because 1. People marry for the wrong reasons. 2. People are rushing. 3. People (both men & women) have realized that life goes on after a divorce. 4. People are not ready to work at their marriages….
    This is just my opinion o…..u don’t agree? *shrug*

    Posted by Gbemi | November 1, 2010, 10:46 am
  6. Tula… Nice one there. Good job man.

    Posted by Cheexy | November 1, 2010, 11:24 am
  7. Women who say they don’t care what he does out there as long as he comes home are not “in control”…….I think they are helpess, sad or just plain stupid…….

    lol.. nice comment Gbemi but society/culture aside, I don’t really think we can directly compare some scenarios when talking about men & women… It’s called double standards… When there’s a man who knows his wife cheats and has no problem with it, people often just assume he’s doing worse and call him “the man”…. no?

    Posted by thetoolsman | November 1, 2010, 11:46 am
  8. Errr…..nope! They don’t call him the man! Tula! If he doesn’t drive her away….he’s called a fool or they say he’s been “jazzed”….
    I do not agree that a woman who knows her husband is cheating and does nothing is “strong” or has “control”…..stupid might be a lil strong but strong??? Nah….

    Posted by Gbemi | November 1, 2010, 1:25 pm
  9. Hahahahhaha tula so this is what u have been writing eh?
    Pretty sweet post…

    Posted by Sho'baba | November 1, 2010, 2:46 pm
  10. I loved this.
    It’s not like I was thinking of reasons to disagree o but I just didn’t find any.. but as usual, this is not the case for every woman. But 10 in 15 women are like this though. So you can imagine.

    But what Gbemi is saying. What I’ve come to realise is that we are going to say this and that but when we are in that situation, (say, knowing your man is cheating and thinking it’s alright so long he comes home to you) it’s not going to be easy to not be ‘stupid’ or anything.
    We are always going to say people are stupid for staying but you aren’t in their shoes and you ‘putting yourself in their shoes’ isn’t anywhere near feeling what/how they are feeling. So yes, it is stupid to say that but life is not as easy as saying something.

    In other news, this is a really good write-up that I think everyone should read. Every woman. And a number of men.

    Posted by Miss Paul-Olaleye | November 1, 2010, 8:40 pm
  11. Dude,you did justice to this post.well done

    Posted by Ayorinde Adunse | November 1, 2010, 9:46 pm
  12. As u said these r just opinions of pple, diff peeps av diff reasons 4 doing stuff, i also think we r all greatly influenced by wot we grew up seeing our parents handle eachother..so i think its safe 2 say it is a generational “curse” (not curse literally).

    Posted by Oluwatowbad | November 2, 2010, 6:17 pm
  13. Well……lol! Hmmmm…..what women want….let me start by saying why I love humanity so much is our extreme diversity. I have had this same convo w/ my female buddies b4 n lemme just say a book on what women want will have to be revised weekly. There are different types of women(obviously) and even with the same type, they want different things lol! You’ve listed a few of the more common ones. You left out the woman that wants absolutely nothing(where a man is concerned). Yep! They exist. The most common want is security sha but hey even men want to be secure so…… 🙂

    Posted by Nono | November 3, 2010, 7:29 am
  14. Attention, comfort, security and control. That’s definitely what women want when it comes to relationships…well most of them though the demand for some of these qualities might be higher than the others…like stephanieij’s cousin’s girlfriend who’s demand for comfort is pretty alarming.lol. But yea I agree with Gbemi, a woman who’s husband is unfaithful and she knows it but just asks that she comes home to him every night isn’t in control. That’s her just settling for less for whatever reason…could be desperation or fear of loneliness or maybe she’s just obsessed and is willing to have that as long as she has him as well. Either way; its not control. I love this post. Got me smiling all through cuz I could see reflections of me..especially the attention bit!

    Posted by oyzayna | November 8, 2010, 10:01 am
  15. Nice.. How bout what men want??.. You should write something on that plz..

    Posted by Tami | November 8, 2010, 3:45 pm
  16. I agree with Gbums oh! what you describe right there is not control nor strength. It’s insecurity and low self-esteem.

    Anybody that wants to “control” a partner has serious issues and will build an unhealthy relationship. Security, Attention, love, yes, but control? No not all women want that. I don’t want to control my hubby, I want to be respected which includes being considered.

    Posted by Lola | February 14, 2011, 11:13 am
  17. thats simple,a wise man once said that all a man needs from a woman is for her to “feed me,fuck me and STFU” Chris Rock lmao

    Posted by Mike | May 11, 2011, 9:55 am
  18. I ‘heart’ this comment

    Posted by Chidz | June 20, 2011, 4:52 pm
  19. Sorry may you remove my comment above..???
    I ‘hearted’ the wrong one ..sorry…
    (and I’m not sure how to remove it)


    Posted by Chidz | June 20, 2011, 4:56 pm


  1. Pingback: What a girl NEEDS. « Thetoolsman's Blog - March 23, 2011

  2. Pingback: What men DONT want. « Thetoolsman's Blog - June 20, 2011

  3. Pingback: What men DONT want. - September 16, 2015

  4. Pingback: What A Girl NEEDS - July 13, 2016

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 5,753 other followers

Follow Me:

  • GERD + ulcer 😭😭😭 2 hours ago
  • That thread left me feeling disgusted. 8 hours ago
  • RT @_Temitopebukola: This is the story of my staff and right now the dispatcher has absconded, we’ve been meeting dead ends everywhere and… 8 hours ago
  • RT @yiudiee: A delivery man went to pick up from a shop and raped the sales girl because she was alone! Threw N1000 in her face and told he… 8 hours ago
  • RT @kechilauren: Everybody’s “Lagos” is different , know that and know peace . 8 hours ago
%d bloggers like this: