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Blog jacking Friday, Special

Men Don’t Know How to Be Single? Bullsh*t!

Hey guys, it’s been a while since I put up posts in other categories here but I got into a convo with a colleague that got me to go dig up something I’d read online sometime back. It’s either that or something to pacify the A-Zed fans for the news I’m about to give. lol. Well, for those who follow me on twitter, I informed them that A-Zed will be on break this week as I still have quite a bit of transcribing to do before the final 3 episodes. (yes, one episode is so long, it might be in two parts). *Now weaving and ducking eggs and tomatoes* I promise the wait will be well worth it.

Ok, so on to todays post:


This past Friday was like any other Friday. I was sitting at my desk doing work and counting down the minutes until the weekend. The iPod Touch was going strong and I think I may have been singing some Stylistics track as if nobody else was in my section of the office. Unfortunately for me, one of my lady co-workers heard me and laughed. It was honestly a little embarrassing to hear my co-worker chuckling at me, but at the same time it was better she caught me singing that type of music and not “Hey Ho!” by Ludacris or “My Gun Go Off” by 50 Cent. The ensuing discussion went from music to relationships. Being in the field of Human Resources, I wondered if I should have even been discussing my thoughts on relationships in the office. Then again, I think people expect HR folk to be all warm, cuddly, and excellent bakers. I don’t think they ever expect HR folk to be big black men like myself. **Shrugs** Oh well…

Much like many of the other women I’ve worked with in my professional life, she asked about my personal relationship status. She inquired about the longest time I had been with one woman, how many women I had serious relationships with, how my faith affected my relationships, if I preferred missionary vs. being rode off into the sunset and a variety of other questions that would normally be annoying. Luckily it was Friday and the music had me in a good mood so I obliged. And once I answered, she sat back for a second and didn’t say anything. Then came the utterance that provided today’s post:

Hmm. I’m surprised by the amount of time you were single between girlfriends. Most men don’t know how to be single.

I was facing my desk doing a whole lot of nothing before she said this. But upon hearing what she said, I had no choice but to do the following:

With as much talk as there is about players, friends with benefits, cut buddies, and an overall shortage of men that allows them to play the field nowadays, I couldn’t believe she was saying men don’t know how to be single. The conversation got interesting at this point. I went for the jugular and told her that men aren’t the emotional creatures. We may be territorial, but we’re typically not the emotional ones that often look for a connection in the form of a relationship or through coitus. I would have probably been reported and written up under normal circumstances, but since I’m the person that does the writing up and documentation…yeah. I was cool.lol.

Now I’ll be honest. I do know some a lot of sucka ass dudes men that always have a girl. I don’t think it’s because they’re emotionally needy. I just think they like consistency of bunz. Sometimes it sucks to have to go out and put in work just to pacify the carnal urge to submerge in warm lady oasis. It’s nice to come home, get it poppin’, and have a false sense of security that she’s yours. Now had my co-worker said some men don’t know how to go without s*x for extended amounts of time, I would have cosigned and there would be no post today. Well, there would have been a post. The backup topic involved me, a cowboy hat, a woman, and d-cups. Anyways…

I don’t buy the whole “men don’t know how to be single” thing. This wasn’t the first time I heard it, but I was surprised by who I was hearing it from. I know that we, both genders included, all have needs. It doesn’t matter if they’re physical or emotional. A man who has to always have a boo-type chick around is no worse than a woman that needs to be the center of attention and have multiple dudes courting her for her to feel validated. I don’t condone either circumstance, but honestly if it’s not my life it isn’t my problem until I pick up the phone and have to listen.

What do you think of this particular battle of the sexes? Do men have more difficulty being single compared to women? Are women more so the ones that struggle in this area? Do you have friends who always have to have a boo?How do you handle long bouts of singleness?

So, thats it. Are there other guy’s out there who often stay single for long spells and agree with the writer? Have your say…

Jacked from SBM


About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman


7 thoughts on “Men Don’t Know How to Be Single? Bullsh*t!

  1. LMAO! I really think she meant ‘men dont know how to go without sex’ cuz one thing i do know is that there are many men that are supposed to be ‘seeing’ a certain girl (or more than a girl at a time) but still say they are very single.
    However there are other tangents to explore on this issue like the semi-permanent aura of self deceit that men have no clue that they have but that is 4 another day… 😀

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | January 18, 2011, 3:19 pm
  2. A ha.. glad you commented first. I didnt share my opinion cause I wanted to get peoples feedback. Now you’ve thrown up alot of questions and you must come back to help clear them. You spoke about guys not being able to go without sex and I’m drawn to agree with you but then again, do the ladies make it easy for guys? And Im not talking about just tempting with the way they dress, for some gurls, sex has become so meaningless that it’s almost given away for nothing.
    You also spoke about the “semi-permanent aura of self deceit” that men have. Now, I dont know if you’ve heard men say this “no one wants to be with anyone that no other person wants”? “No one” in that statement refers to “women” and it’s a proven fact (dont ask)… could this be what lead to this “aura” you spoke about?
    Questions…questions…. ?

    Posted by thetoolsman | January 18, 2011, 3:55 pm
  3. Most of the time these opinions leave more questions unanswered, but really I don’t think men and women alike can’t go long single, once their needs usually for have a significant other is satsifed in the case of the guys sex and the ladies emotional needs and prolly money.

    Posted by oluwatowbad | January 19, 2011, 10:25 am
  4. I enjoyed reading this.lol. But I do think it’s a little unfair to say men don’t know how to be single. They may not stay single for long bouts but still, they know how to go into their man-caves for a spell.

    Posted by Yarinya09 | January 20, 2011, 2:33 pm
  5. Lol…i dont even have complex answers to you r questions as it has taken me this long… women dont make it easy for guys cuz it seems…women are quite the horny bunch as well! But yea with us…its a lil more…sensitive as our vajay-jays…have invisible strings attached to our hearts…(or not) but yea. Its not meaningless for most…dont let these women fool u! except you are a prozi…sex means somn…except its really REALLY crap.
    Girls do have an easier time going without sex tho…u cant lie…
    Tha aura i spoke about…really and truly has to do with a guy wanting to be with ‘someone’ at somem point in time. It could be different people…and it would help when they are not ready for somn serious if the person was not a permanent fixture in their lives…just so they are not responsible for how the person feels….
    But really that warm fuzzy feeling that girls crave…guys want it as well…they just are not very particular about how to get it…i hope i have made my point cuz atm i am seeing double.
    Advice: Do not go 4 lunch and include alcohol if you are going back to work…
    Actually you could…it could affect your productivity positively…who knows? LOL

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | January 20, 2011, 3:28 pm
  6. ooooh and i looooove that foto!!! Lmao…it was funny yday…but was EXTRA funny just now! LMAO

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | January 20, 2011, 3:29 pm
  7. Hmm… again, I’ll agree with you that girls have an easier time going without sex… (physical attributes even help here) , however, I’d like to rework your analogy of the hearts and invisible strings for women. Let me explain, and this is all my opinion, ladies are sensitive – true, but if I were to come up with a heart and string analogy, I’d say they have their strings in the open for all to see.. infact, their strings are hand-tied manually to their hearts so everyone can see and instantly connect this with worldly perception of the female being the weaker gender to feel some sort of sympathy towards them by default.

    If there’s anyone with invisible strings tied to their hearts, its the guys, the men, who go about with their emotions hidden far away from everyone simply because thats what’s expected. In your words, sex isnt meaningless for most – same goes for guys too. Every gurl a guy beds could me one gurl farther away from his dream gurl or one gurl closer, depending on his value system and he knows this, so deep down he’s taking notes.

    The guys who seem no to be able to go without being with a woman have probably crossed that line where they feel there’s just noting to look forward to anymore…. the gurls are there, willing, offering, they might as well go after them, they might as well do whatever they need to do to get them – lie about being in a relationship, steal, cheat …..bla bla…

    I’m not making a case, just playing the devils advocate and oh, having a lil alchy during work hours “sometimes” saves lives and that picture is CLASSIC.

    Posted by thetoolsman | January 20, 2011, 4:19 pm

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