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Wednesday Dialogue

The ghost called toasting.

Hey guys. I really didn’t plan on putting up a post today (ok, maybe I did). Anyways, I’ve decided to just talk. So….

The other day, after meeting up with a friend, I sat thinking to myself about how much technology seems to have influenced/affected our lives. Particularly, my thoughts hovered around relationships. See, I’ve been single for awhile now ok, a long while and every time my friends get on my case and try to get me to start dating again, it always hits me when I realize just how much seems to have changed in the dating game. Thats if you can still call it that.  I sometimes like to think of myself as an “Ol’ Gee” (slap me now), so for my other ol’ gees reading this, tell me, when was the last time you heard words like “toasting”, “runsing” or erm.. “chiking” (always hated this word) being used?

Seriously though, is it because of new trends, is it really because those things no longer exist, or have we evolved as people? Let me break this down. Ok, so maybe I’m not so old but if you were done with high school before we got in the 2000’s then you’ll probably be able to properly define the term “toasting” as we knew it then. You know, when guys would write endless letters, burn customized CDs (you know how hard this was back then), buy like seven cards with hand-written messages to go with one gift e.t.c. I mean, you could smell the effort from yards out. Nowadays what we have seems so fickle. Someone once summarized the current dating process as follows:

(Facebook/Twitter > InBox/Direct Message > Blackberry > Meetup&Sex)

Depending on how good you are with words, you can move from FB to SX in days, weeks and well, maybe months. But thats where it stops. Any “effort” that comes after that is channelled towards getting more SX.

Now, before the guys out there crucify me, let me state that I’m not asking all gurls  to become “longer things”. Certainly not. It’s just so bad that some people will never ever get to experience the thrills of being chased, the thrills of being properly “toasted” (no french toast). And lets not hide behind age or technology cause I can hear someone already thinking, those things die with high school. Show me one gurl who doesn’t enjoy being chased (and I’ll find the doctor who did his sex change). As for blaming it on technology…well… maybe to some extent but at the end of the day, I think it boils down to “you” as a person. Because the person you like seems to want to move along quickly without “the chase” doesn’t mean you can’t make it a lil bit interesting…no?

Do you agree or disagree with me? Share some of your “toasting” memories with in the comment box and also let us know how recent it was. Cheers

PS: Ok, I made up that dating process.

About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman


24 thoughts on “The ghost called toasting.

  1. Sorry, i’m still looking at the naked dude chasing the naked girl

    Posted by temmyno1 | March 2, 2011, 10:14 am
  2. Eh heh! So, what exactly is your definition of chasing….

    P.s emails have replaced letters.

    Posted by temmyno1 | March 2, 2011, 10:18 am
  3. its just seems like such a lot of effort for a 15min (or less) lay dont u fink? LOL,

    u already know if ur gonna bang someone 2mins after meeting them… so why buy me flowers? (ok lemme just go now…)

    Posted by Zara | March 2, 2011, 10:23 am
  4. ……. i miss those days,High skool,Uni days…..i rem a particular prefect wn i was in ss1,he sent me short bread,cards and a letter on valentine’s day. i remember how i showed my friends and we all laffd at the guy….i guess dis is d real life and boiz aint smiling. …..it was rilly fun bk den….9ce one tools

    Posted by bukiola | March 2, 2011, 10:25 am
  5. hahahaha… slap yourself for this comment, really…

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 2, 2011, 10:26 am
  6. well, certainly “not” that little flow process I came up with…

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 2, 2011, 10:27 am
  7. That flow process is for a quick lay. The relationship flow process is still…..’long’

    Posted by temmyno1 | March 2, 2011, 10:30 am
  8. I miss the old days too..The current ‘toasting’ process sucks balls.

    Posted by adey87 | March 2, 2011, 10:30 am
  9. Tulz! Funny pic..well this is true.funny hw I wz sayin the same thing to myfriend yesterday..aprt from the technology factor.wht we plced value on. Years bk is definitely not the sme nw. Ps.I love to be chased!:D

    Posted by kechilauren | March 2, 2011, 10:41 am
  10. P.s i love chasing….I can’t just sit around waiting for Gerald Butler.

    Posted by temmyno1 | March 2, 2011, 10:42 am
  11. Hmmmm, last time I was toasted was in SS1. Letters, ‘designer’ shades, fake roses……. I had a good laugh. The guy is my really good friend now sha

    Posted by Sam-E-yah | March 2, 2011, 10:51 am
  12. LOL @ the picture

    Honestly I think you nailed the point. These days, there’s almost no story to tell. The process is so automated its like there’s a manual/script for it.

    Guys had better pick up their game, who says one cant be creative with technology?

    Posted by PET Projects | March 2, 2011, 11:05 am
  13. That talk of burning CDs just paused me in my tracks! (Yes I was reading and walking in the hallway) Dammn! We really have come a long way from the ways of old. Sometimes it strikes me, aren’t things a tad fast and “microwavy” these days?

    But then again, when the end game seems to be “rumble-in-the-sheets” then it’s understandable why things are at such break neck speed.

    Posted by 'Jiböla | March 2, 2011, 11:23 am
  14. I feel that if a woman wants to be chased she would demand it, with her actions, in a subtle way of course. Technology doesn’t make the chase meaningless,it is just what is in now, cd’s and letters were in then…times have changed, you could make a lot of sweet gestures through technology, from a very sweet text/voice note to a very public declaration on twitter/fb….

    Posted by SoniaofHBF | March 2, 2011, 11:25 am
  15. The new process kinda sucks. However everybody seems to be soo into the whole twitter, bbm, fb parole. Its up to today’s “toaster” to stand out from the crowd by doing things differently but seeing as most people are so lazy about it these days, I won’t hold my breath. Nice post though.

    Posted by MizYve | March 2, 2011, 11:48 am
  16. LOL @ I LOVE to be chased… hahaha.trust me WE KNOW.
    @ZARA … Change is far from you !
    @chica hahahaa ! VN…lmaoo !
    @toolzman…. you kept it 100 on this one..
    mad picture to explain the concept .love the whole FB\TT>IB/DM thingy !

    Posted by Dreeee1 | March 2, 2011, 11:54 am
  17. Spot on dear….every woman likes to be chased..even after u start dating or ‘sexing’ or whatever agreement u v…

    Posted by jola | March 2, 2011, 2:46 pm
  18. I totally agree with you!!! I was born not so long ago, and sometimes I wish I could have lived in the old days. Everything seems so mundane, and it even feels like wishful thinking sometimes, thinking about Romance. Well, toasting isn’t long gone, a lot of girls still, would appreciate the effort.
    P.S. I know its 2011, but I still think ‘long things’ are necessary. Things happen scarily fast these days!!!

    Posted by mizzkenzo | March 2, 2011, 3:15 pm
  19. I totally agree with you!!! I was born not so long ago, and sometimes I wish I could have lived in the old days. Everything seems so mundane, and it even feels like wishful thinking sometimes, thinking about Romance. Well, toasting isn’t long gone, a lot of girls still, would appreciate the effort.
    P.S. I still think ‘long things’ are necessary. Things happen too fast these days!!!

    Posted by mizzkenzo | March 2, 2011, 3:55 pm
  20. hmmm…..dear friend, you have hit the nail on the head!
    Guys dont seem to know how to ‘woo” anymore and when you finally get in a relationship and try to make things romantic and stuff….you end up looking like you are doing too much…………*sigh*…
    “Prince Charming wanted! MUST treat me like the princess that i AM…..& I GUARANTEE you will be treated like a prince!”
    LOL @ myself!

    Posted by Gbemi | March 2, 2011, 6:49 pm
  21. I told a particular someone I’d be here again and I am.

    If the human race has moved past
    – captain caveman capturing his by-force girlfriend
    – fathers selling their daughters to politically stronger families
    – fathers selling their daughters for tubers of yam
    and eventually decided to move past
    – horny male proclaiming undying love for clueless naive female via overt acts of heroism, prodigious gifts of attention and other desperate things

    Please let the race evolve!

    Posted by afrosays | March 7, 2011, 9:38 am
  22. IDK I still expect people who ave interest in me to put a certain eeffort. Just like when I have interest in people I put an effort.

    One of my exes burned me CD’s all the time, and sent me songs that reminded him of me.

    Another ex bought me half the teddies I owned.

    My most recent ex was more upscale and toasted me with coach bags, gift cards etc

    The last girl I approached I sent her flowers 2ice a week until she said yes. So idk if toasting is dead. Maybe its just the people

    Posted by Vanity | March 7, 2011, 3:25 pm
  23. I really like d picture u used in explaining. But dis days things move very fast and most people are just following the pace and d trend of it. Wen i met ma girlfriend i asked her out in a sought off love letter way. But dat was long ago. Dis days errbody wants 2 get laid and b laid. So all of ur toasting is considered as longtin…..but jus always try 2 make dem feel special

    Posted by bade | March 11, 2011, 11:04 am
  24. #TNC. The Naked Convos #1 Invite. Password: Ghost

    Posted by thetoolsman | July 25, 2011, 9:00 am

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