Over the weekend I spoke with a long time friend of mine and in trying to catch up I asked about his status with the ladies and to my surprise, his answer was pretty much straight up and drama free. One gurl and that was it. No distractions on the side, no handouts, freebies, prospects, just one gurl and they weren’t yet official or anything – he was just seeing one gurl.
Before you wonder too far, this was surprising to me cause of the person I was talking to. Not that he was that bad a person but as we continued talking, I realized this is something that seemed to have spread amongst most of my friends who used to be proud of their player cards in the past. A few years ago, it was almost always expected for an average guy to engage at least two gurls at the same time. Some referred to it as “keeping your options open” while others simple defined it as being a “player”.
The urban dictionary defines a player as:
A male who is skilled at manipulating (“playing”) others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex.
guy who is sustaining supposedly exclusive relationships with multiple girls simultaneously
After my conversation with my friend and many others, I realized the modern day player operates differently. This may be due to the not-completely-gone recession we experienced over the past couple of years (or not).
Lets give it a thought together, stringing multiple gurls equals longer talk time on phone/continuous or compulsory subscription to blackberry service which equals more money. Also, no matter how slick you are, you’ll encounter more movie dates, more lunch/dinner dates, don’t forget the birthdays and the occasional request for credit from here and there. What does all of this sum up to? Revenue revenue revenue. And if all that money is going out and you have still your one source of income (say you’re a salary earner) then it only makes sense to re-think your strategy and that might just be what has happened. I know some will go to say what if he’s some “oil money” big boy. Well, I don’t think that really matters; earning that much, his choices of venues for dates e.t.c will definitely be classier and thereby matching his income which brings him back to the same position as the average earner.
The modern day/recession player or playette as the case may be (will elaborate on this later) needs to be very economically aware. By focussing on one err… “subject” at a point in time, he gets to still eat his cake and have it, even though
it might take longer.
You might be wondering what my angle is here. Am I educating the players on better ways to go about their business or am I pointing out characteristics of the modern day player? Honestly, I’m still wondering too. But please share your thoughts on this issue, are my friends merely getting more matured and discovering the art of committing to just one person at a time or has the player as we used to know him truly evolved?