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Wet Fridays

Future Sex


He’s such a jerk….Dora fumed as she stepped into her apartment. We were supposed to have a romantic evening and he ruins it by being so bloody insensitive. She didn’t mean to keep Johnny from him. He just always got so paranoid about her exes. The sad part was that she had really wanted to go back to his place and work out the tension of the hectic workweek with some mind-blowing sex. She stepped into her walk in closet and was mildly comforted by the sight of her shoe collection.

Something glistened in the corner…the sensors for her ipad 5000x. So that’s where I left them. Who needs men she thought as she scooped them off the floor and slid into bed. Her ipad lay there from working in bed earlier that day. She connected the sensors to her temples, scanned her fingerprints and skipped thru the welcome screen. No time for that, Mama wants to play. She went straight to the Sex4D icon and launched the app.

What’s your fantasy, Lady D? Said d sexy voice of Idris Elba, British accent and all. It sent shivers down her spine. She hurriedly typed in Bad kitty. A fantasy she had spent months perfecting on lonely nights, fights with James and general naughtiness. The hologram flickered on in front of her. Please begin customization, D…. Idris Elba said again. Oh yes please she thought. She quickly selected the body of Fally Ipupa, moaning already at the thought of that waist in motion, the face of Michael Ealy, the sexy southern accent of T.I and named him Chris. Oops almost forgot… and added an extra 4 inches to d tent in his briefs.

Initiate she purred. Immediately, the preset play list of the Bad kitty preset started to belt out T-pain’s ‘Make love to a rap song’ and the bedroom faded to a dark room lit only the flames from a fireplace in the corner. She was lying on a thick soft rug and Chris was massaging her feet. How was your day D? Horrible she moaned. Well, lemme make it all better love. He proceeded to kiss his ways up her legs, planting little kisses every few inches., getting closer and closer to her aching centre. When he got to the juncture of her thighs, he kissed her thru her panties and ran his hands up her stomach to her breasts. Playing with her through her lacy bra and biting her throbbing clit gently with his teeth. Chris, take it off, she moaned. And he proceeded to do just that. He held her legs open with his hands and pulled her panties off slowly with his teeth. Touch yourself he commanded. Touch those beautiful tits for me. Yes daddy she moaned. He was heading back to her centre now and she was getting wetter waiting for him to make contact.

Ring! Ring!


She ripped off her sensors, and the scene faded. That had better be James coming to apologize she fumed as she walked towards the door.



He walked into my apartment, half angry, half irritated – who does she think she is that she can just spring surprises like that. This is what this crazy world has come to. Allow these birds and they’ll destroy all of mankind. I need to get my mind off her. I need to prove I don’t need her – for sex or any other thing. It was already 8pm, what was supposed to have led to a fulfilling night in bed has left me home alone.

I went into my room, kicked off my shoes. Took off my shirt and I saw my ipad 5000x lying on my bed by my pillow where I’d left it the night before. Yes, just what I needed. I took off my denims leaving only my boxers and my inner vest on. I fiddled through my bedside drawer and got out my 5D glasses. I grabbed my ipad and jumped in bed.

I scanned in my finger print..

(Welcome your royal endowedness) said Keri, the programmed voice for my ipad. I used to love it whenever she said that but not tonight. I only had one thing on my mind. I hit the search box and typed:


Then tapped once more to launch the application and in no time I was at the home Menu:

> Welcome, James.

> Please select number of partners

I entered one and moved to the next item but I thought again and went back up:

> 3


> Will you like to customize partners?

> Yes

I changed two of the girls to black. The bloody thing still sets skinny white girls as default, can you blame them. White girls can be so freaky. I left one in the mix. I skipped the other options after blessing the black girls I chose with enough T and A (tits and ass). The last box was to enter a name for the girls. I thought for a second then….

> Partner 1: Adebisi

> Partner 2: Sandra

> Partner3: Random

Her best friends; Yes; Let the party begin. I plugged in my 5D glasses and leaned back in bed. I felt Sandra’s touch first. This thing can be terribly realistic. Silver lacy Victoria’s secret lingerie… ooohhh… Then I noticed Adebisi and Kim (as she introduced herself) they were both already naked. I shifted with anticipation even as I felt Sandra climbing on to the bed.


……… it lasted all of 3 minutes.


I picked up my phone and dialed Aisha… she was home… I flung my ipad and glasses aside and threw on denims and a tee….. Screw virtual, I need me some real pum pum…

I’m sure at some point we’ve all imagined what a virtual roll in the hay would feel like (ok, maybe not all of us). Shout out to the wonderful Adesuwa (checkout her blog here)for writing this with me. This is our excuse to measure just how freaky you lot out there are.. So it’s your turn, use the comment box, let us know what your idea of virtual sex would be. Cheers.

PS: This video inspired this post.



About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman


16 thoughts on “Future Sex

  1. It would have customizable characters. You would be able to choose location and even costumes.

    Posted by temmyno1 | March 11, 2011, 9:11 am
  2. *giggles* this aspect of ‘the future’ would never get better than the real deal…

    Posted by StephanieIj | March 11, 2011, 9:24 am
  3. It would be cool but there is nothing like the real deal.

    Posted by adewale | March 11, 2011, 9:48 am
  4. I swear down Stephanie! Didnt even start watching the scene cuz i dont need to…i remember it so well. Watched this movie when i was way younger and still i was like…WTF! This can NOT be a healthy replacement….there are juices to let go of…that have to go in the rite manner…this mind nonsense…AYAMA!
    However…the whole virtual Idris Elba complete with accent…hands…and lips….O LORD!!! Save a SISTUS! *heart palpitations*
    My dear Tools why tweet such in da moreeen!
    Oh well….it is Friday innit… *winkage*

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | March 11, 2011, 9:50 am
  5. hahaha.. Plenty apologies but yelz, like you said.. it is ‘wet friday’.. ‘innit’… 😉

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 11, 2011, 9:54 am
  6. Is that what you use ur Ipad for???? Jewo.

    Posted by jola | March 11, 2011, 10:02 am
  7. There are sex robots out there for both male and female and i honestly don’t think it can pass for the real deal. Some(WEIRD)people do it but its just not gonna be good or feel as good as the real deal. Who wants fake when you can have real soft boobs and juicy *****.

    Posted by kactuskay | March 11, 2011, 10:03 am
  8. hahahaha.. how na…

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 11, 2011, 10:30 am
  9. It’s a good replacement for like when the dude used it. If u were the only guy that couldn’t get anyone home one night. At least u had that to return to. LOL X_X

    Posted by Random Awesomeness | March 11, 2011, 10:57 am
  10. Lol, well it cn never actually be as good as the really thing, as has been pointed out… But as a replacement to vibrators etc, it wld be good…
    But Idris Elba tho, wiv the accent… And inches and inches of…. Tools, e no good o…

    Posted by olawunmi | March 11, 2011, 11:25 am
  11. Shet, I sed ‘really thing’, I meant real, e ma binu…
    P.S someone shd forward dis post to Steve Jobs abeg, see if he cn get a jumpstart… 😀

    Posted by olawunmi | March 11, 2011, 11:29 am
  12. lol.. we forgive you… bet Teni you shouldn’t be reading this o.. I need to have a talk with your mommy…

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 11, 2011, 11:30 am
  13. LOL…. no comment

    Posted by Henrietta A-Worrey | March 11, 2011, 12:08 pm
  14. *in apple ad voice* there’s an app 4 evrytin. Myt jst find something close….*mental note- check asap* 😀

    I agree with stephanie tho…..

    Posted by nenny | March 11, 2011, 3:27 pm
  15. Speechlessiyo. Weldone. Wld luv 2 see tech try 2 substitute fresh wet thngs…

    Posted by Bii | March 11, 2011, 11:15 pm
  16. Not to disparage virtual sex, but in my book, there are at least 3 sexes and multiple possibilities. Just tooting my own horn, but it’s not dull. Escape From Consecration, if anyone’s interested.

    Posted by Hunter Byrd | February 12, 2013, 6:15 pm

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