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Monday Rush

Shy guys (don’t) finish last

Hey people, today I have an anonymous co-blogger. Let’s just call him “King”. Enjoy.

So I’m chilling, listening to my ipod, on shuffle, the music goes from Nickelback to Eminem, to Pink and then to this Nigerian song, which was put there by my girlfriend. I seldom listen to Nigerian songs (yeah yeah, whatever). Anyways the song is by Wizkid and it’s titled: Tease Me. I must say it isn’t really that bad even though it’s kinda pointless but, hey, I’m not here to review the song. As I listened, I got to the catch phrase “I know bad guys” and this got me thinking… hmmm.. isn’t it funny how almost every guy out there is now a “bad guy”? I mean, should we even still be allowed to use the term this way?

Nigerians naturally never want to come last at anything. We are born hustlers. In school, work, relationships and even in traffic, there’s a daily competition among several “bad guys” to determine who becomes the ultimate “baddest guy” (does this even make sense). Anyways, when it comes to relationships, the statement “good gurls like bad boys” seems to have been adopted by all gurls. When I’m among friends, taking down girls recklessly without looking back to bother about emotions seems to be the order of the day. However, it seems we are all quick to forget that there are other categories of guys out there and even Wizkid agrees with me when he sang: ‘I know “Other guys”.’

Who are these other guys you might ask. Well, if almost everyone claims to be a bad guy, guess they can only be “shy guys”. Some of y’all might remember Diana King singing:

But I don’t want somebody

Who’s loving everybody

I need a shy guy

He’s the kinda guy who’ll only be mine

Call me old (yes, that song was released 1994) but I remember when shy guys used to run things. For the benefit of the younger readers, I’ll just define what being a shy guy means or meant back then: You’re calm and calculated. You’re the perfect gentleman. Never brag about your escapades (Shy guys are coded bad guys).

There was a time when girls were always dying to catch these kinda guys. These guys were the “take home to mommy” guys; oh mommy would be so proud I got me a SHY GUY that was doing well. Nowadays, these guys don’t even have a chance with the ladies because the so called BAD GUYS are sniping everything and anything in sight. I could go on and give you reasons why I think this is so but I’d like the ladies to speak for themselves, what do y’all have against the shy guys and if you’re a shy guy out there, share your tales with us, let us know how you’ve been surviving. Use the comment box, speak your mind and if you enjoy the post, hit the subscribe button to get updates. Cheers.

PS: look out for a special post tomorrow on the giveaway I promised.

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About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman

Discussion

51 thoughts on “Shy guys (don’t) finish last

  1. I know bad guys

    Posted by MsJulz | March 21, 2011, 9:02 am
  2. P.s i guess everyone has to have at least one bad guy to make you realize just how special the shy guy is when you finally find him.

    Posted by temmyno1 | March 21, 2011, 9:07 am
  3. hmmmmn, nice story, i can definitely relate to this.
    Shy guys as we “call dem” are my kindda guys. yessssss im confident.
    These guys don’t get much dese days cos apparently, the noisy bad guys ve come to stay for a bit.
    Guess what, its all a phase.. they’l pass too.. lmao..
    Good read.
    J’ai vraiment l’amour les gars timide , ils sont les vrais hommes là-bas .

    Posted by Dokita | March 21, 2011, 9:10 am
  4. Smtyms d so called show off bad guys in reality are getn close to none not 2 add d stupid egos u r forced 2 deal with……..I’ll pick d coded bad guys anyday, they tend to treat girls better plus dey know their business 😉

    Posted by zany | March 21, 2011, 9:16 am
  5. 🙂 I guess the most important thing is knowing who you are and the values you stand for. I’ve never been a fan of following the norm or what’s popular. So I never caught the bad guy bug,I’ve always been the take me to momma type and mommas always like me.

    Posted by Yogi | March 21, 2011, 9:17 am
  6. u’ve said it all dear…..i love shy guyz!!!!

    Posted by bukiola | March 21, 2011, 9:20 am
  7. oh lord of mercy mercy mercy…..dazz my jammm
    i know other guys too
    grabs my shy guy’s butt *wink*

    *grabs whipped cream* 😛

    Posted by Zara | March 21, 2011, 9:21 am
  8. Zara ur comment jst had to b diff…

    Me I’ve always bin a coded G…secret agent type nigga men.nothing gets a girl’s curiousity goin lik d mystery guy abeg.

    *uses watch to call flying car to him,gets in and zooms off*

    Posted by KofoSwaggnificent | March 21, 2011, 9:29 am
  9. Shy/good guys always finish last because they get this joke last —–> “Life isn’t that serious!”

    It’s that simple and short.

    There are no prizes for being Mr Shy/good guy cos Mr bad guy has taken it all.

    Posted by lagoshunter | March 21, 2011, 9:35 am
  10. the shy guy is also the bad guy; depends on the babe and how he feels about her

    Posted by Mr. Nice Guy | March 21, 2011, 9:35 am
  11. Words fail me here.. God help you Zara..

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 21, 2011, 9:40 am
  12. Frm experience, ppl that form shy guys are infact slow/dulling guys and like yoruba ppl wld say ‘ta lo fe bi omo ode’. Gimme a bad guy anyday mehn.

    P.S: I really hate slow ppl. They make my skin crawl

    Posted by bimbo | March 21, 2011, 9:46 am
  13. The question is who is/was racing these bad guys in the first place?

    Posted by Yogi | March 21, 2011, 9:47 am
  14. I used to be a badt guy, then I really wanted to get serious and I turned to a shy guy “aka. Nice boy” and my “hits” reduced drastically….infact, I’m still single…
    To be honest shy guys r really coming last in this country! Abeg #dontdull

    Posted by dejimac | March 21, 2011, 9:49 am
  15. It’s like this. The loud trashy music tends to drown out the nice music from ur earphones so u just need to turn up the volume or focus more. That’s how it is with bad guys and shy guys.
    I (think i) have one. It took me a while too.

    Posted by ogirl | March 21, 2011, 9:55 am
  16. I think we should properly divide them into bad guys, shy guys and stalker creeps. Just so we don’t mistake what shy guys really are.

    Posted by temmyno1 | March 21, 2011, 9:55 am
  17. Not true. I like shy guys jo.. Those quiet, brooding types that just exude mystery.. Mmmmmm. Then when you get talking, you realize he’s probably done more than that fancy-talking badt guy.

    Posted by BettyBoop | March 21, 2011, 10:07 am
  18. Tools, you sef have joined Zara and Nonso in having anonymous bloggers? Is that the way forward?

    Posted by icouldbeillskillz | March 21, 2011, 10:13 am
  19. Lmao…so true…It;s too easy for Creepy Stalkers to hide behind the Shy Guy curtain

    Posted by icouldbeillskillz | March 21, 2011, 10:15 am
  20. Been dating a shy guy for about 3 years now, but I must say, I need a bad guy evry now and then to spice things up! My kind of woman weirdly likesthe kinda bad guys that don’t send! Not the type that keeps begging and proclaiming undying love all the time..abeg I need bad guys joor! Anyone here?? 😉

    Posted by SB | March 21, 2011, 10:24 am
  21. Now applying

    Posted by hustlergbangba | March 21, 2011, 10:32 am
  22. gals dont like shy guys again ooo, so what i do is i behave like a bad guy in shy guy skin and even that one was risky cos i almost carried last…. lol

    Posted by dammy | March 21, 2011, 10:48 am
  23. Hmm.for some reason when I fnk of a “shy guy”what comes to mind is the guy with a hand in his pocket nd the other itching his eyes from an imaginary bug..I definitely donot want dt guy.give me a guy dt can hold his own in converstion with my pparents,friends and business partners.be a partner instead of an observer.if he is seen as a bad guy.then Yes!throw dem bad guys to me 😀

    Posted by kechilauren | March 21, 2011, 10:54 am
  24. Gentlemen and Ladies, take from a real shy guy, we do get it, especially when the bad guy is out forming bad guy. There are two good things about being the shy guy, 1. the ladies always feel a bit “shy” that the shy guy hit it so they don’t spread the word and 2.Shy guys always always always get the shy good girls too.

    Posted by Munchie | March 21, 2011, 11:25 am
  25. Why do I feel shy shy = BORING!:D

    Posted by kechilauren | March 21, 2011, 11:47 am
  26. it is the way forward jor

    Posted by temmyno1 | March 21, 2011, 11:58 am
  27. Looll! Shy doesn’t necessarily mean boring. Give a shy brother a chance.

    Posted by Munchie | March 21, 2011, 12:17 pm
  28. I think people are taking the description of the shy man in a literal sense, I don’t think that’s what the writer meant…
    From what I understand, the writer meant men who don’t go around proclaiming their sexual escapades and using women like tissues as these ‘bad guys’ do.
    That doesn’t mean the shy guy is slow, dull or cant hold his own in a conversation, it means the man is quietly confident, doesn’t need to shout about that fine girl he banged and then never called in order to prove himself.
    I for one don’t do bad guys, i find them fake, shallow and often unintelligent. Give me a shy guy any day.
    (sorry abt the length of the comment)

    Posted by olawunmie | March 21, 2011, 12:29 pm
  29. I guess I’ve been waiting for this comment. Thank you Olawunmie..

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 21, 2011, 12:33 pm
  30. Nice post but ur own definition of ‘shy guy’ shaaa…
    I like your own ‘shy guys’. Bad guys are thrilling, no doubt- but mehhn v been through some things and I think m blind to ‘bad guys’.
    I’m a major sucker for guys who know what they’re doing, in their own lane, just going ‘jeje’.

    Posted by Yasminn | March 21, 2011, 12:50 pm
  31. @ Olawunmie…spot on! I almost thought this was a wasted post until I saw your comment.
    When I was younger (and I’m not that old :-)) I may have preferred the so-called bad guys. But as I grew older (throw in a coupla heartbreaks), I realized that shy guys were the ish…ARE still the ish!
    Like Olawunmie said, who needs a bragging, loud mouthed doofus? I’d do a guy (pun intended) who’s smart, intelligent and doesn’t see the need to announce his achievements. Ever heard the phrase ‘still waters run deep?’

    And no!…shy guys don’t always come last…infact they most possibly ALWAYS come first but don’t see the need to announce it. 😀

    Apologies for the long-ish comment Tula

    Posted by zanyfran | March 21, 2011, 12:51 pm
  32. Smh at everyone claiming bad guy and bad bitch status these days, it makes me laugh. Like everytime I read a profile with those words in it, I laugh hysterically at your stupidity and move on.

    Shy guys might finish last but they finish and bad guys never do. Shy guys are the bestfriends we end up marrying after we realize that the bad guys confidence is not confidence at all but assholeness.

    All of you are sooo concerned about being bad, you forget to be you and that is highly hilarious. These days its date one bad guy and date them all. Same IQ’s, same assholeness, same wardrobe,same walk, same “swagger”.

    My heart bleeds for originality

    Posted by vanity | March 21, 2011, 1:06 pm
  33. She didnt scratch it, grab it or pack it for the first time…. she’s getting cured.. yes.. and I absolutely love your comment.

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 21, 2011, 1:09 pm
  34. Apologies?.. not after this kinda comment. Thanks a lot.

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 21, 2011, 1:12 pm
  35. Tula, Tula, Tula……how many times I call you?
    You and I know a Shy Guy aka Mr. Awesome….make I no go cast him real name and we sure know he doesn’t carry last. Cc @MrBuga and @HustlerGbangba…..okbye

    Posted by Eez Me | March 21, 2011, 2:03 pm
  36. Yayyy! Great contribution, perfect description of ‘shy guy’. Nothing more to add.

    Posted by Joachim | March 21, 2011, 3:50 pm
  37. LOL

    We shy guys are probably doing you bad guys babes on the down low.

    #TakeNote

    #OkBye

    Posted by Random Awesomeness | March 21, 2011, 4:07 pm
  38. That song was my JAM. And yes, bad guys are boring to me. Identikit losers playing from the same rulebook of assholery. And ‘badt guys’? Well, if you spell it like that, you ought to be shot.

    Shy guys all the way. Witty, funny, not afraid to be honest about their feelings, consummate gentlemen and allergic to kissing-and-telling.

    Posted by miafarradaily | March 21, 2011, 4:54 pm
  39. Badguy in d building halla. On a second thought wat is ur definition of a badguy?

    Posted by wale0700 | March 21, 2011, 5:09 pm
  40. Shy guys r d coded bad guys for real, ever tried 1? If not, u shud thn u realize thy r nt d ultimate shy guy, thy r jus calm n not out thr like d regular bad guys! Bad guys jus get most of d attention cos thy r out thr. I ♥ me a shy guy sometimes tho. Ths 1 time, I underestimated a shy guy n oh wee he was 1 hell of a bad guy… End of story!

    Posted by Anonymous | March 21, 2011, 5:39 pm
  41. I love shy guys!
    Jordin sparks has a song called ‘Shy guys’
    listening to it now *dancing around*

    Posted by creamandcoffee | March 21, 2011, 5:50 pm
  42. Hmnnnnn

    Tula I guess the name ‘shy guy’ is the problem.

    I don’t drink or smoke.I not a fan of nite clubbin and bin out late.I don’t see the need to shag and brag;if anyone should be talking about my exploits it should be the girl 😉
    I can however flirt well and hold my own in a convo.I’m not afraid to tell a girl if I want her but I’ll still be a gentleman when I’m not with her.

    The term ‘shy guy’ doesn’t quite cut it….
    I prefer ‘Very Good Bad Guy’ 😀

    Posted by KofoSwaggnificent | March 21, 2011, 6:33 pm
  43. I remember when I was a shy & nice guy, a chick asked me if I was gay *EyezWideOpen* then I snapped. Since then, ve don a few numbers being a bad guy. Bad guyz rock to a point, but you’ll nt know when u’ll walk-by a TakeHome2Mama gurl.ish!

    Posted by wale0700 | March 21, 2011, 7:01 pm
  44. Bad guys
    Shy guys
    And the greatest of these-Shy guys
    Lol….they definitely hold an attraction for me confident, quiet, mysterious *sigh* describes my biggest crushes ever. Sadly relationship-wise I always seem to end up with the ‘bad guys’ 😦 *vexing*, *picking up a rifle to hunt a shy guy*

    Posted by jAyajade | March 21, 2011, 7:15 pm
  45. I’ve been a shy guy all my life and it sometimes felt dreary n all but after a long wait( n going thru lots of fun loving females ) it has paid off.

    Posted by freshboydemon | March 22, 2011, 6:47 am
  46. that’s whossup!

    Posted by radeyo | March 22, 2011, 7:57 am
  47. If it looks like bad guys are really subduing the shy guys these days, then why is (almost) everyone here claiming preference on shy guys over bad guys? Or is it just people that read blogs that prefer shy guys?

    Anyways, in a bid to make y’all not think I’m a bad guy, I wont BRAG about myself being the President of the SGC (Shy guys club). Oops! I just did. 😀

    But really tho, I think all the love a shy guy gets starts and ends in this comment thread. Thru’out my entire life, since primary school sef, I’ve come to realize that “girls (will always) like the bad guys”, it’s just the way they are designed. Or rather, maybe they are just made to go with the bad guys first before they finally use their experience to define by their standards the ultimate and ideal shy guy to settle with.

    Only ‘Beazy’ guys get the love in reality and I think that’s why we even get to hear about it. They ‘loud’ it

    No apologies for the long comment. Take it like that. *bad guy laff*

    Posted by radeyo | March 22, 2011, 8:25 am
  48. See how everyone is claiming bad guy then when @olawumie changes d tone of d comments, everyone is now claiming shy guy. Smh4 all of u!

    Posted by akibotobiloba | March 22, 2011, 2:09 pm
  49. I was born a shy guy, now dat am older am ripping d benefits of being a shy guy! The ‘ladies’ love me, so do I. A shy guy aint a fag and sure aint slow, just bcos he is taciturn doesn’t mean he is a fool, he is just being himself and being careful. Silence dey say is golden! Ladies love a good listener. A shy guy knows wat a lady wants and likes, unlike d bad guys. Its only ‘hungry’ and immature girls dat dig bad guys. I know shy guys who are ‘badder’ dan bad guys. No apologies 4 being a shy guy. Holla! 239B23C5

    Posted by Tony | April 6, 2011, 11:28 am
  50. In as much as some shy guys r dulling, soome are verrryyy sharp! How about this! I know shy guys dat capitalise on d weakness of them badt guys. In a war, Let’s say the badt guys are the Marine! SOME shy guys are Black Ops. In my opinion, only one thing differentiates the two and it it EGO.

    @Kechilauren :: its only a percentage of shy guys dat do dat!

    @Tony :: Err … U sure?

    Posted by DavidUzzi | April 8, 2011, 5:46 am
  51. I totally agree. Until a bad guy treats you really bad,you won’t realise how special shy guys are.

    Posted by zoe | June 20, 2011, 10:49 am

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