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Wednesday Dialogue

What a girl NEEDS.

*Plays Christina’s what a girl wants..

Nah.. scratch that. Today we skip past the want, which I once spoke about here. Today, we focus on the NEEDS. Before we get to the part where you give your answer, I asked one of my very very open minded and opinionated female friends to comment on the topic. Her name is Deji (pen name) and here’s what she had to say:

What a girl reeeally needs?

1) The male bestie – she’s not sleeping with him but he has her best interests at heart and would advice her from a guys perspective.

2) The lover (said with French accent) – this dude is strictly for sex. Call him. Book an appointment. Have sex…peace out….till next time.

3) The rich dude (maga) – this is the dude who doesn’t mind buying you stuff…raising u when you’re broke…etc (note that I said: dude is rich and doesn’t mind spending)

Before I could chip in a response, she continued and said: in reality:

Most girls have #1

Some have #2

Few have #1, 2 & 3

Very very few have all 3 dudes in 1

Now hold your horses; at this point I was also like O_o… thinking is this what it has really come to? But then I reminded myself of the topic: what a girl NEEDS and I guess to some extent, I saw reason with what she said. However, this doesn’t change the fact that these needs were brought about by what our society/generation has become.

When I think about it, I believe quite a lot of girls can do without #2 for a long time (a lot; not all). Like Deji later admitted, “it doesn’t hurt to have a couple of #1’s and many #3’s especially :)” That’s just how women are wired I guess. As much as I want to, I will not go into why we’ve ended up at these three needs, instead, I’d like to focus on the many many questions we can answer by confirming Deji’s position but to do that we’ll have to certify it first.

So, I’ll throw it open to you guys.. share your opinions on what a girl NEEDS (not wants).. and yes, this discussion isn’t only open to the ladies we welcome all comments. Use the comment box and speak your mind and remember to click the subscribe button for post updates. Cheers.

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About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman

Discussion

49 thoughts on “What a girl NEEDS.

  1. A girl definitely needs #1.

    Posted by temmyno1 | March 23, 2011, 9:01 am
  2. a girl definitely needs a rabbit 😐

    Posted by Zara | March 23, 2011, 9:06 am
  3. Ah the popular, gay friend, mandingo and old geezer story…hehehe,

    Posted by SoniaofHBF | March 23, 2011, 9:17 am
  4. I’ll like to add #4 which is ‘being alone’ (neither of #1 #2 or #3)… but u know what? Women don’t even know what they need. Or better put, they’re never sure of what they need.

    *drops mic*

    Posted by radeyo | March 23, 2011, 9:18 am
  5. A girl would actually very much stay without #2 cos apart from the fact its got artificial replacements, the human form has to be the real deal…thats tougher to find.

    #3 is > #1….cos it can also be a #1.

    Posted by StephanieIj | March 23, 2011, 9:20 am
  6. Girls dont even know what they want, how would they know what they need? On the average though, i’ll say security, comfort and companionship

    Posted by Bonnie | March 23, 2011, 9:21 am
  7. Bonnie, ‘six’ and ‘half dozen’
    …you just said the same thing.
    Security = #3
    Comfort = #1
    Companionship = #2 (somehow)…. :p

    Posted by StephanieIj | March 23, 2011, 9:34 am
  8. With time, a girl will gladly give #3 what #2 has to offer (i.e. The pacification)..and quite a Lotta times, #1 always gets #2 without being a #3..it’s called d checkmate… And of this, I am most certain 😐

    Posted by O'tega | March 23, 2011, 9:37 am
  9. *coughs & runs away*

    Posted by wale0700 | March 23, 2011, 9:46 am
  10. rabbits produce like fishes…tigers…we need tigers

    Posted by temmyno1 | March 23, 2011, 9:53 am
  11. D #1 guy is needed in a babes world well like 70% of dem wld have a #3! Buh m still trying 2 put a figure on d #2 guy…

    Posted by thumbwriter | March 23, 2011, 9:56 am
  12. 3 in 1 is definitely what a girl needs…….

    Posted by zany | March 23, 2011, 10:05 am
  13. Wow!
    Okay I think your Deji friend has become a bit jaded. Either that or I’m still looking at the world through rose tinted glasses.
    I honestly do agree about #1. But how about having a guy who gives you mind blowing sex and STILL raises you when you’re broke (and doesn’t mind spending?)
    I mean like really? Women aren’t wired to do the ‘wham-bang-thank-you-mam’ thing; no matter how much they lie to themselves that they do.

    Tula, a woman NEEDS all 3 in the comfort of a sort of steady relationship…or companionship. What a woman GETS…should be the main topic for discourse

    P.S: you should be used to my plenty story by now 😀

    Posted by zanyfran | March 23, 2011, 10:24 am
  14. U r so so right

    Posted by djabbarish | March 23, 2011, 10:25 am
  15. Interesting breakdown…

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 23, 2011, 10:33 am
  16. I can like to offer my services F0C for #2…..my kondo is NAFDAC certified *drops mic*.
    Don’t be shy…..Tula knows how to find me. it can be underG #OkBye

    Posted by Eez Me | March 23, 2011, 10:36 am
  17. Erm… I think you need to take off those glasses oh.. But before we even get to what a woman gets, we need to agree on this; does every woman really need all 3 in one person (steady, relationship, marriage or whatever) or can they make do with just one or two?… thats the question.

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 23, 2011, 10:39 am
  18. Wow. I don’t know what to say about #3. That’s not how m wired. Or #2. Not every woman, infact a greater percentage of people cannot be truly casual about their sexual relations. No matter how hard they try to believe that.
    Sha sha, I wouldn’t mind #1 + #2 + #3 combined- all in one 🙂
    And a word of caution. Except the #1 is a cousin or some close relation, feelings could come up at one point sooner or later…they may go quickly or linger for a bit, n then its really complicated when #1 becomes #2. V been there, done that- infact m still here, writing the book about it, and I see many other ladies doing the same.
    That said, this post isn’t it. At all. Her opinion anyway

    Posted by Yasminn | March 23, 2011, 10:46 am
  19. i like that reply…

    Posted by finnyrolls | March 23, 2011, 10:48 am
  20. well, i think that says it all. so i think as guys we should see where we’d like to fall in & ow many positions we think we can carry

    Posted by finnyrolls | March 23, 2011, 10:50 am
  21. @ Tula, a woman needs ALL 3 in my opinion. Anybody who says contrary has been receiving less oer has conditioned herself to receive less. Capisce!

    Posted by zanyfran | March 23, 2011, 10:58 am
  22. I am about to drop some knowledge:

    *drum roll*

    Where MANY of us miss it that we assume everyone wants the same thing. That’s wrong. For some girls, #1 is a gateway to #3. For others, it’s #2. What many of us don’t do is to pay attention to details. We are comfortable with ‘rules of thumb’ which simplifies things and both sexes are guilty of this. The solution: pay attention to the PARTICULAR needs of who you are with (or want to be with) so u can always satisfy them. The above list is a START, but is by no means an end in itself. The only way to have fulfilling romance is to pay attention to the REAL needs of the other person, and satisfy them.

    Thank you. *drops mic, picks up popcorn*

    Posted by je_mc2 | March 23, 2011, 11:01 am
  23. what i meant to communicate was that there does not necessarily have to be a ‘man’ in the picture to get all that

    Posted by Bonnie | March 23, 2011, 11:07 am
  24. #gbam… that’s wat im talking about!!! the Checkmate… remember when u (not necessarily referring to u oooo) mightt have gone to unload ur emotional burden over some booze with him and…. and… and… i’m sure u all know the rest of the story… well i like being #1.. easier to eat ur cake and have it that way…

    P.S. *advice to fellow guys*, u can’t get erry’thing by being a #2 or #3 sef ….

    Posted by O'tega | March 23, 2011, 11:58 am
  25. Errhm erhhm errhmmm….
    *mumbles and runs away*

    Posted by DL | March 23, 2011, 12:36 pm
  26. In my opinion, a girl just needs attention. Be it from #1, #2 or #3 or a combination of either of them, bottom line is she needs to be doted on and catered for.

    Posted by ms_tomiwa | March 23, 2011, 12:45 pm
  27. Nice 1 toolsman, by d way my middle name is #2 so feel free to hola on 080dontdull lol.

    Posted by fnudoib | March 23, 2011, 12:55 pm
  28. 100% Gbam!

    Posted by Lagoshunter | March 23, 2011, 1:45 pm
  29. Toolsman, permit me to assume that the context here is “relationship”. Cos I do believe that as well,what a girl needs might not have anything to do with a man.

    Why make a simple thing complicated?

    In its most basic form, a woman NEEDS love and care. While a man NEEDS to feel respected. #SimpleAndShort……. I hear even the Bible says so!

    How this plays out in our lives is dependent on a lot of other dynamics specific to each person.

    A single guy can be #1, #2 & #3 to a girl at different times in her life.

    And no, a girl enjoying the showers of gifts from a guys who doesn’t mind isn’t a generational thing. It’s has always being the nature of women to enjoy the symbolism of gifts from men and in the nature of men to enjoy the validation a woman’s appreciation brings with it.

    Typos & Grammar errors are copyrighted by me.

    Posted by Lagoshunter | March 23, 2011, 1:59 pm
  30. Mr. Hunter, always good to read your comments.. Before we even consider context, I think we all need to establish the difference between WANTs and NEEDs … I don’t know if you clicked on the link I put above to a post I had put up previously, maybe that’ll help a bit.

    Posted by thetoolsman | March 23, 2011, 2:09 pm
  31. Girls don’t know what they want, not to talk of what they need….. And i have my reasons

    Posted by fhemiy | March 23, 2011, 2:39 pm
  32. I definitely need a guy that will make Eba and soup for me every night.
    it’s always been a fantasy to have a guy toss eba balls into my open mouth *sigh*

    Posted by creamandcoffee | March 23, 2011, 2:57 pm
  33. a gal needs a good man, a man hu can distinguish himself everytime, it may seem simple, but thats what i have experienced and being that man aint easy. a good man = 3 in 1or every in 1

    Posted by dammy | March 23, 2011, 3:24 pm
  34. Girls are insatiable, so just allow them to enjoy it

    Posted by tostin | March 23, 2011, 4:57 pm
  35. I agree with Deji. Y’all might call her jaded but really though……How many guys can provide all 3?
    very few!
    Ive met nice guys (#1) with money (#3) but with no bedroom skills (#2)

    Ive met rich dudes(#3) with skills (#2) but horrible attitudes

    and so on…..

    Come to think of it…..most girls i know have at least one of these guys in their lives

    Posted by Gbemi | March 23, 2011, 5:27 pm
  36. A girl needs a #1 who will be good at #2 and would willingly be #3 even when #3 is’nt a priority

    Posted by BBB | March 23, 2011, 10:39 pm
  37. Stupider posts have been written so I’m not judging you. Its impossible to generalize what all girls need and that is what you’ve done here which is my first sign not to take you seriously.

    Of all the things you listed above, a girl needs none of those things. She merely desires them aka wants. No one needs a male best friend, a female one can very well do.

    Lovers are a good thing to have but its not a need, more of a want. Food is needed, bathrooms are needed, penises are not. Especially when excellent replacements have been created I.e rabbits.

    Not every girl needs a “mugu”. Some girls are content with working on their for their shit, others are born with their own shit, while the others who have “Mugus” are merely being greedy. For the most part almost every girl can survive without “Mugus”.

    So darling, none of these things are needs. And not every girl wants these things.

    Also I am appalled by your exemption of the lesbians in the world.

    @flemy girls know about as much of their needs as you guys too. Take that sexist shit and flush it in the loo where it belongs

    Posted by vanity | March 24, 2011, 3:32 am
  38. 150% agree wv vanity…

    Posted by thelegendress | March 26, 2011, 1:04 am
  39. Vanity is right! A girls needs CANNOT be generalized!

    Posted by poca | March 26, 2011, 7:53 am
  40. I think a lot of women don’t know what they really want talk more of need. Albeit,a lot in this day and age will settle for #2 and #3.

    Posted by Tola | March 28, 2011, 9:40 am
  41. Vanity-COSIGN!

    Posted by notimpressed | March 28, 2011, 10:15 am
  42. 3 things a girl needs: good dick, good shoes and a shoulder to cry on. everything else is optional.

    Posted by Anon | March 29, 2011, 11:52 am
  43. *picks up mic* I totally disagree with ‘No4’, most women n I mean most women dread being alone…

    Posted by Mak_Tavish | May 11, 2011, 9:31 am
  44. ChopKnuckle for dat comment!! 

    Posted by Mak_Tavish | May 11, 2011, 9:42 am
  45. O

    Posted by beespice | May 12, 2011, 11:30 am
  46. First and foremost, there’s no such thing as “That’s just how women are wired”, especially when it comes to #3 which is pushing this idea that women are not forced by society to depend on men for financial stability. It implies that women ‘choose’ not to get their own money by ignoring all the ways that women are disadvantaged by society from the minute they are born; told not to play freely, but be domestic housewifes from age 3, many are not given the opportunity to go to school, and even if they are, the psychological toll of all the oppressive forces that a woman has to deal with, including being encouraged to be a nurse instead of a doctor (bc, that’s for men) is what creates this ‘sugar daddy’ dependency culture. So stop it with “That’s just how women are wired” bullshit. And women don’t need men for either #1 or #2.

    Posted by lizardorange | August 17, 2016, 8:12 am

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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  2. Pingback: What men DONT want. « Thetoolsman's Blog - June 20, 2011

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