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Wednesday Dialogue

Super Coochie

My friends call me SC.
I’d honestly love to say that I have the solution to world hunger and poverty.
That’s far-fetched but my friends seem to think I have special powers and I’m beginning to think they might just be right.

It started in College with Lanre
We dated for a year after he took my virginity
We parted ways; at least I thought we did.
But he lingered and lingered
Stalking my toasters
He got arrested once
Because I wouldn’t give him my coochie
This Super Coochie.
10 years, a wife and a kid later,
Lanre hits me up on Facebook,
I still miss your pussy…

Steve worshipped SC,
All night
That’s how long he liked to erm.. please her..
But even a coochie with super powers gets sore
In a way, I actually miss that
2 years after we broke up,
He began calling and texting
Everyday
For one more chance at this kitty
He called me, the morning of his wedding
6am
I’m going down the aisle in a few hours he said
One more time, for old times’ sake?
He begged.
For one more fuck
One more tongue-bath
Did I mention that he came to blows with my next boyfriend?

I may know why she’s so powerful though
You know?
I’ve never used lube one day in my life.
Men find her unending flow of elixir very mesmerising

Kevin was married when we met
I’d sworn to never to do one of those
I don’t know how to explain it
It just happened
Once, twice, five times
At first, it wasn’t so bad,
Maybe he won’t get addicted I thought
Until he let it slip
That he had lost taste for his wife
She was young, slim and I’ll admit – quite a looker
There’s no reason for that, I argued
She doesn’t taste like you
She doesn’t get wet like you
He said, as he buried his face and paid homage to SC
The chosen one

Sometimes I wish they didn’t fall so hard – sometimes.

Signed – SC
Wrecking havoc since 2002…

Today’s post was just one I couldn’t express well enough by myself so I sought the help of my pseudo guest blogger Deji who also wrote this piece here. Let me state clearly that I DO NOT believe in the SC theory. I’m yet to find a guy who claims the main reason he got married to his wife is cause ‘the sex is excellent’ yet most women seem to believe good bedding skills can nail a guy. Don’t get me wrong, being the ‘Usaine’ Bolt of the rump olympics will probably get you far, might get you a car, a house but NOT a basketballer. Yes. In my opinion, there’s just more to it. Think I’m right or wrong, use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.

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About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman

Discussion

87 thoughts on “Super Coochie

  1. First comment!

    Posted by JCpx | May 11, 2011, 9:12 am
  2. Well I totally believe in the SC Theory, in fact I know someone who almost got married cos if it.. *now calling ma SC* 😀

    Posted by Mak_Tavish | May 11, 2011, 9:21 am
  3. I can sort of relate to this…. not that I have a super coochie or anything…lol, that’s definitely not my case…. but I just can 🙂

    Posted by Son1aO | May 11, 2011, 9:26 am
  4. Deji + Toolsman,

    Super Coochie is also known as “Come-Back Pussy”

    However, I do not think it is because of its unending flow of elixir that makes it super cos pussy is flattery to a man’s dick. If the pussy & its owner can’t flatter, then ain’t nobody’s gonna beg for it.

    Important to note also that super coochie/come-back pussy is never wifey’s pussy and that says a lot…..doesn’t it?

    True, great sex isn’t ever THE reason a man marries a woman but it can be one of them.

    It still is and will always be a man’s world……

    Posted by @lagoshunter | May 11, 2011, 9:27 am
  5. and by the way, I once had me a super coochie……she was innocent and hated the fact that I was married but was always willing to flatter my dick.

    11 months ago, I walked away for no reason. I couldn’t bruise her ego with a break up song & dance. I just stirred up a fight and just walked out without another word………

    Posted by @lagoshunter | May 11, 2011, 9:31 am
  6. I think the 1st person to comment deserves lacasera and gala considering the struggle…

    As “unimportant” as some people make sex seem, its actually a big deal….statistics show that bad sex is d #2 cause of (other) problems in a relationship.(Ok that is fake but you get what I mean)…….a sc won’t necessarily get u a bballer, but it’ll keep whoeva u bag coming back.(I didn’t say prevent him from goin out)

    Posted by zany | May 11, 2011, 9:33 am
  7. *singing* “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…”
    *slowly struts away swinging coochie(waist)*

    Posted by chinnydiva | May 11, 2011, 9:34 am
  8. LOL @ “I’m yet to find a guy who claims the main reason he got married to his wife is cause ‘the sex is excellent’ yet most women seem to believe good bedding skills can nail a guy”

    But see yeah, Me I don’t even know what to say about this post but I just kept laughing at the term ‘SC’

    I know someone who was tryna be celibate etc sha and he and his freak of a gf had issues, so they broke up… I tell you this, once they were back in the same state and she saw him again n did him silly, he broke the celibacy and they are back together.. because of the SC or mainly because of the SC. But as uncle LagosHunter has said “rue, great sex isn’t ever THE reason a man marries a woman but it can be one of the” and its major coz guys have needs and Sex is one of em whether we choose to accept it or not.

    Posted by H•A•W | May 11, 2011, 9:34 am
  9. I’m not married so I don’t know..but I’ve gone back to good pussy before sha..it was ridiculous.

    Posted by awizi | May 11, 2011, 9:36 am
  10. Mr JCPX… the people have spoken.. Gala & Lacasera for you… lol

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 9:38 am
  11. it is a man’s world until a woman opens her fridge

    Posted by chinnydiva | May 11, 2011, 9:40 am
  12. Errr dere must b a trophy 4 d 1st “commenter” that I don’t know of *rme*

    Posted by mee | May 11, 2011, 9:42 am
  13. Damn! Where can a bruva get one of those? Don’t be stingy now

    Posted by Logan | May 11, 2011, 9:45 am
  14. Oh! So d prize is gala and lacasera! ☹ tools pls upgrade d prize to playbook jor :d

    Posted by mee | May 11, 2011, 9:45 am
  15. hmmm… you just can?

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 9:46 am
  16. I learn a lot everyday…hmmmm…brb

    Posted by dammydiva | May 11, 2011, 9:46 am
  17. it’s sooooooper cooooochie time!!! i’m having my lunch buried in some coochie 😀

    Posted by Tigerrrr | May 11, 2011, 9:47 am
  18. Interesting statement Mr. Hunter made here:

    “Important to note also that super coochie/come-back pussy is never wifey’s pussy and that says a lot…..doesn’t it? “

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 9:48 am
  19. and he get one super coochie wey dey my zones o…This Tula guy sef, May 21 done dey come o no let people come dey find trouble..

    Posted by awizi | May 11, 2011, 9:49 am
  20. Glad you added the disclaimer at the end…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 9:49 am
  21. In fact, Super Coochie should be called renegade pussy…ride or die sometins…

    Posted by awizi | May 11, 2011, 9:49 am
  22. hahahaha… keep swinging oh…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 9:50 am
  23. err.. look up…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 9:51 am
  24. Super coochie…d gal must b xtremly good in bed to keep d guys coming bk…I dnt think derez more to it than dat

    Posted by mee | May 11, 2011, 9:53 am
  25. *walks away singing R kelly’s Number One*

    Posted by mabijo | May 11, 2011, 9:56 am
  26. Coochie coochie ya ya yaya!!
    LOL
    Whats the diff btw the SC and the Okafor’s law??? Yet you would never argue the potency of the later. Gerraway juh, chauvinists!!

    Posted by Slim | May 11, 2011, 10:06 am
  27. I’m not sure this is supposed to be funny but I can’t stop laughing…

    If this ‘super coochie’ theory was true u’d think all these men would remain faithful whenever they find it, whether it’s girlfriend, wife or mistress. (Well, unless they’re searching for the ‘fantabulously out-of-this-world coochie’?)

    In the end, most men get over these so-called ‘super coochies’. I personally don’t believe they exist. It’s mostly a matter of taste, and TIME. I guess.

    Posted by Glory Okubo | May 11, 2011, 10:14 am
  28. It exists, don’t be fooled. It keeps you coming back for more, like a rebound of sort shá.

    Posted by lekan adio | May 11, 2011, 10:15 am
  29. hahaha.. I knew this would come up.. I think its safe to say the potency of Okafor’s law has been well proven..lol..
    Seriously tho, the context is quite different.. The argument here focuses more on the (use of the) organ and the reward attached?

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 10:17 am
  30. Can’t stop laughing! Super Coochie? Are you guys for real? LOL!!!
    Go and Rest jor!..

    Next i’ll be hearing Super Dick! LOL
    You can walk away from anything! unless you lack self control/worth!!

    Posted by Xorra | May 11, 2011, 10:28 am
  31. Diminishing marginal utility and things…

    Posted by Glory Okubo | May 11, 2011, 10:30 am
  32. Supercoochie does not exist, its never really about the birth canal. (Lol I had to use that word, sorry)

    I believe something about her that keeps u coming back not necessarily the cooch.

    It could be the way she dips her nails in ur back, or her moans, her cries or even the dreaded “pls just hold/cuddle me” she says right after u take her ‘there’.
    So if you like go&put a red cape on it. Aint changing nothing its unsuperness.

    Posted by RiCDiZzLe | May 11, 2011, 10:32 am
  33. buhahahahahaha…. Hey.. don’t encourage people.. red cape ko.. spandex ni…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 10:34 am
  34. Who said super ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ can never be wifey’s ¯\_(ツ)_/¯? Depends on where u find ur wife.
    (I can bet jibs is somewhere waiting to shoot me)

    Posted by modernwifey | May 11, 2011, 10:35 am
  35. hmmmmmmmmmmmm

    Posted by pebbles | May 11, 2011, 10:46 am
  36. 1) When we call it Super-coochie, we mean it’s the best of em,not the only one, gotta taste d other, not-so-super coochies (who calls their vagina a coochie btw?).
    2) The superness of a vagina is not in it’s wetness,but in it’s tightness, IMO.
    3) Public announcement; if U have a super-coochie, can cook well, and know when to shut up, I will marry you right now.

    Posted by Sick_Sage | May 11, 2011, 10:50 am
  37. whats with the hmmmmm? speak your mind..

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 10:53 am
  38. there you have it.. an open proposal… any takers?

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 10:54 am
  39. Nope, not diminishing utility.
    Methinks, it’s because it’s more flattering to a married man to look at a woman and call her his fuck buddy/mistress/girlfriend than it is to call her his wife.
    This is because wives have their role in a married man’s life which is VERY different from the role girlfriends.

    Posted by @lagoshunter | May 11, 2011, 10:54 am
  40. Hmmmm….I knew it….very very dubious…..kmt…super coochie ko, super coochie ni….
    #May21st is only 10 days away o. I refuse to say more 😛

    Posted by freshprinz | May 11, 2011, 10:56 am
  41. In your mind now abi… hilz…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 10:58 am
  42. *gasp* u don’t say?! so all 1 needs to do is shut up,fuck like majela, know her onions in d kitchen and voila! u become a super wife.

    Posted by chinnydiva | May 11, 2011, 10:59 am
  43. Wait.. you have proof Majela does it well?

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 11:01 am
  44. One man’s super coochie isn’t every man’s…just saying.

    Posted by shugarloo | May 11, 2011, 11:01 am
  45. LOL! well…she isn’t called the queen of vagina for nothing..

    Posted by chinnydiva | May 11, 2011, 11:04 am
  46. So for us normal ones, err is there a school we can enroll the coochie in to make it super? I’m asking for a friend x_x

    Posted by olawunmie | May 11, 2011, 11:05 am
  47. @chinnydiva: Ehm. . .I hate onions 🙂 ,plus I don’t think Majela can bang doe, no one who can shag well talks about it that much. . .

    Posted by Sick_Sage | May 11, 2011, 11:06 am
  48. err.. but theres a reason Brian calls himself Mr Pumper.. it’s safe to say we all know.. but Majela… iono…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 11:06 am
  49. LOL.. I hope someone answers this…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 11:08 am
  50. “…no one who can shag well talks about it that much…” The TRUTH.

    Posted by Glory Okubo | May 11, 2011, 11:12 am
  51. Well technically, she doesn’t talk, she sings .. o_O.. ok ok.. I just had to say that incase the Majela activists stop by ..

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 11:18 am
  52. jokes! bare jokes!!!

    Posted by miss e | May 11, 2011, 11:21 am
  53. Gbamest!

    Posted by mee | May 11, 2011, 11:22 am
  54. What about having all those qualities in one package as a wife?

    Posted by modernwifey | May 11, 2011, 11:23 am
  55. Buhahahahahahahaha…..

    Posted by Glory Okubo | May 11, 2011, 11:25 am
  56. Wow…SC…very true tale…I can relate wv dat…*as always*
    Reminds me of my ex…of about 7years ago…till date he stil crawls for my SC….believe me…jus like the use of bottom power as a form of lobbying in govt….my SC controls any dude dat tastes it!!!!!

    Posted by ibetapassmyneighbour | May 11, 2011, 11:47 am
  57. Chris the Super Coochie.

    Posted by AdorablyKrazy | May 11, 2011, 11:50 am
  58. Super coochie is real.its nt jst abt d pussy.its d skill in bed.d way she puts her lips on ur body or d way she rides cowgirl lik a jockey……

    *takes cold shower n shilled sprite*

    Posted by Immortal TeddyBear | May 11, 2011, 11:50 am
  59. Why cnt super coochie be wifey coochie. Now dropping outta coochie training school (>_<)

    Posted by msyewieo | May 11, 2011, 11:51 am
  60. Oh no.. not Chris again …

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 11:53 am
  61. Wait first, you need to hook Olawunmie up with an enrollment form and erm.. @Lagoshunter will address your question…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 11:55 am
  62. I broke up wit a boyfriend in 2004,and we were Still sneaking into eko hotel and suits…..naw,dats SC.he could neva get enuf.he hates my husband.
    I still have him by his ballS

    Posted by modernwifey | May 11, 2011, 11:56 am
  63. huh? Please DO NOT mixup SC and Okafors law.. your case sounds very more like Okafor’s Law being played out…. please consult the post here : https://thetoolsman.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/remembering-okafor/ for details…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 12:00 pm
  64. @modernwife ……O_O….

    Posted by ibetapassmyneighbour | May 11, 2011, 12:02 pm
  65. considering your last comment, I now see. The emphasis is on the ‘where’. Guys, take note.

    Posted by chinnydiva | May 11, 2011, 12:07 pm
  66. U’ll run things alright,but When d ex starts stalking you, hacking into ur social network acctns just to monitor u like him saying if I can’t have u no man will ,dats super scary..this coochie no go put me for trouble o

    Posted by nessa | May 11, 2011, 12:25 pm
  67. @Toolsman, Gbam!!

    It is very easy for ‘Amaka’ to confuse him/herself and think he/she is actually ‘Okafor’….
    Knowing thy role in every booty call contract is the first step to sexual maturity.

    Posted by @lagoshunter | May 11, 2011, 12:26 pm
  68. @ModernWifey, It is not technically possible to have ‘girlfriend qualities’ in a wife.

    And if you’re actually married,I know this will come across as bad news but you should be able to relate.

    Relationships always change after marriage,this is not my opinion, it is just a fact.

    A married woman can never play the role of girlfriend in her husband’s life because it is technically impossible.

    I know this for a fact but can’t begin to explain becos this is just a page for comments.

    Posted by @lagoshunter | May 11, 2011, 12:31 pm
  69. I think d term supercoochie is jus a farce.its very dependent on d timing,needs and xperience-level of d guy at a particular tym.infact, one man’s supercoochie myt b anoda man’s sub-coochie…Nonetheless,I think a mor practical and realistic ideology would b d existence of TheSuperBlowJob(u know dat one dat wld make even a pornstar get jealous of u)«—-this,I will surely come bak for

    Posted by djabbarish | May 11, 2011, 12:49 pm
  70. Yes until a woman opens her fridge. Yet sooner or later, man loses interest in her fridge and moves on to the next.

    No matter his age, man will always have the power of ‘choice’ while a woman will always seek (and wait) to be ‘chosen’ by a man (and preferably the best man in her target pool).

    And this is why it is a man’s world in addition to the fact that we can pee standing up……

    Posted by lagoshunter | May 11, 2011, 12:50 pm
  71. Hey olawunmie.I know a place you can go to make ur coochie super..all they hav to do is sew u a cute blue cape.its okafor’s tailoring school..voila..the wetness wud come later! When u wash it.:*

    Posted by kechilauren | May 11, 2011, 1:28 pm
  72. Wait o…Chris na Super Coochie…isshokay

    Posted by skilobo | May 11, 2011, 1:44 pm
  73. I’ll tell you who has a super coochie, Wonder woman. Bitch almost fractured my dick this one time. But you know the Dark kinight always rises to the occasion.

    Posted by Bruce Wayne | May 11, 2011, 2:27 pm
  74. I actually believe in SC….if you have ever experienced one, you will raise your hands and give in to the magnetism of the SC.

    Posted by the4eyedmonk | May 11, 2011, 5:15 pm
  75. No comment tho….just one thing
    Can I steal the picture 😀

    Posted by nneka | May 11, 2011, 5:21 pm
  76. na ogbanje jor wetin unna dey talk for hia!

    Posted by oye | May 11, 2011, 5:29 pm
  77. I own a super coochie #okBye

    Posted by iSpeak | May 11, 2011, 5:38 pm
  78. hahahaha…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 5:53 pm
  79. wow.. The Monk himself, a victim of The SC? The end times are truly around the corner…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 5:54 pm
  80. lol.. knock yourself out…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 11, 2011, 6:48 pm
  81. Sex does get some ladies a rock on their finger. If everything else is in order.

    S.C = Rich man’s Trophy Wife

    Posted by afrosays | May 11, 2011, 8:02 pm
  82. Super coochie my foot!, she shld make sure she doesnt have std’s. Mschew

    Posted by kitkat | May 12, 2011, 12:39 am
  83. Super coochie does exist, I’m À witness/victim , recently got delievered. Now its kinda of weird cos ​i’♏ diving into the same scenario again with another person. But seriously, À Coochie doesn’t get an S on the chest,without the owner. She puts the S in super & turns it from just an ordinary gaping hole into an Oil well that keeps Men & women alike comin back for more.

    Posted by gchild01 | May 12, 2011, 8:19 am
  84. Ochi coochie la la la….

    Posted by DL | May 12, 2011, 7:06 pm
  85. ‘Super-coochie’ sounds kinda yummy but the biting, d scratching, d licking and d way she’ll make a man feel like he’s absolutely wonderful with her moans are probably d basic reasons y he’ll wanna come back! And just so yall knw, if a womans food can get her a man, an SC definitely can!

    Posted by vixenpixie | May 13, 2011, 2:41 am
  86. *nw enrolling in a Super-Coochie school* no wonder sme women get all d men! Mcheww!!

    Posted by vixenpixie | May 13, 2011, 2:47 am
  87. I said I’ll comment after May 21… Since still here :: Here goes.. @Vixenpixie… Hahaha..u want to enroll in SC tRaining school.. I am dissapointed. @LagosHunter… Your analysis are on point. Enoughs been said and believe it or not, SC is d complete package not just the cooch!

    Posted by @DavidUzzi | May 21, 2011, 8:06 am

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