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Wednesday Dialogue

SNL

Nope, it’s not ratings for a movie, and no, its not another one of my theories, well, maybe not. Today, I’d like to conduct another research/get y’all involved here or I really am too lazy to think.

Recently I was part of that age long argument about how much guys/gurls manipulate the truth lie when asked how many people they’ve been with. Well, thats not exactly the point of this post because as far as I’m concerned, it boils down to these two formulas:

Guys:
ANOP  = DNOP/3

Gurls:
ANOP = DNOP*3

*ANOP = Actual Number of Partners
*DNOP = Disclosed Number of Partners

I know some will argue that nowadays, the (3) in the formulas is actually (3^2) but like I said, thats not exactly why we’re here. The argument with my friends got me wondering how much more complex/simple life would be if we all had to go around with some sort of relationship ‘deed map’ or a kind of resume that would show what you’ve been up to in regards to dealings with the opposite sex. Initially, I thought up, a resume format and came up with something like this:

Adedayo Okoro Mohammed
15 Mawamiwale Street, Ebinpejo Lane, Lagos, Nigeria.
adeokomo@yahoo.com
0802 123 4567

Education:
19/10/95                First Kiss
Beneath the Dinning Table

01/02/98                Virginity 
Ozoluwa Block 2, Room 4. University of Lagos

Experience:
02/02/02 – 01/01/03          Okaro Blessing
Boyfriend

03/01/03 – 05/02/03          Dolapo Salami
Assistant Boyfriend

06/02/03 – 10/08/03          Amina Usman
Sarewa

12/12/03 – 01/01/06          Vivian Manuel
Sarewa

07/11/07 – 01/05/09          Ekaette Udobong
Boyfriend

Skills:
Threesome
Sensual Massaging
Cunnilingus

References:
Miss Taiwo Sodeinde
Parking Space 5, Adeyemo Alakija, VI, Lagos.
9pm – 5am, Mondays – Saturdays

Miss Kasandra Ojo
Beside Waterparks, Toyin Street, Ikeja, Lagos.
11pm – 5am, Mondays – Sundays

********************************************

Err…. I took a step back and read through that resume and realized it just wouldn’t work. So my mind drifted to the early days of instant messaging when people used the acronym ASL (Age/Sex/Location) to get basic details of people they had met online.

So I came up with the acronym SNL (Sex/Number of Partners/Love). It’s pretty self explanatory, sex = gender, number of partners, well, that will probably be DNOP (check formula above for conversion), and then Love = have you ever been in love? This may help your prospect measure your level of experience and involvement with previous partners.

Now imagine a world where we all go around with our SNL codes hovering above our heads (I know, I watch too many movies). Do y’all think it would make life better or further complicate things? I’d like us to consider this question from the P setting scenario as well as the long haul one. So, use the comment box, state your SNL (e.g M/9/Yes or F/0/No) and speak your mind. Cheers.

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About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman

Discussion

107 thoughts on “SNL

  1. YO..1st

    Posted by Solomon | May 18, 2011, 9:19 am
  2. Lmao!!! Hahahahahhaha! BRB

    Posted by velvet button | May 18, 2011, 9:20 am
  3. First Person. Now back 2 wrk!

    Posted by gchild01 | May 18, 2011, 9:20 am
  4. buhahahahaa F/69/No….i’l b back…still imagining n Lmho!

    Posted by bukiola | May 18, 2011, 9:24 am
  5. lol…. this is insane. Does it really even matter to know that info upfront, I’m sure it’d come out as days go by

    Posted by Son1aO | May 18, 2011, 9:25 am
  6. F/0/no though this dnop/*3 may not be accurate as some people may actually be telling the truth.
    I think having our SNL status on our heads will be a lot easier for setting p and the long haul.
    I also feel is self-esteem issues that make people lie about their number of partners.

    Posted by loba | May 18, 2011, 9:25 am
  7. Lol.. bad idea…..

    Posted by pheary | May 18, 2011, 9:26 am
  8. Toolsman,isn’t this self defeatist?

    In paragraph 2 you alluded to the fact that most people will lie & go further to say it isn’t the point of this post, yet you go ahead and ask the question.

    People are likely to lie anyway so what’s the point of the comments we are likely to see here?

    That said, if this were to be a fight, it will not be a fair one because of the differences in the lifestyle we have (as individuals) chosen.

    Caveat:”Any gabgauns & typos found herein are yours not mine”

    Posted by lagoshunter | May 18, 2011, 9:27 am
  9. F/2/what’s love :s

    Posted by foxy | May 18, 2011, 9:28 am
  10. Okafor’s Law should be factored in this formula

    Posted by Skilobo | May 18, 2011, 9:30 am
  11. I dnt think babes wud v a problem wit d amount of girls her guy has slept wit b4 her, I think it’s d guys dt wud v a problem, yes, a number of guys want experienced babes, but not someone dt hs slept with 10guys including their brother/cousins..
    Nice post Tula..(Y)

    Posted by dammydiva | May 18, 2011, 9:30 am
  12. F/1/yes if u multiply dat u Might get d real no.

    Posted by eagiddy | May 18, 2011, 9:31 am
  13. hahaha!!. this is insane…
    tools.. you’re nuts.

    But I think it would create a bias…even b4 gettin to know d person. cos girls would mos def run away from a guy with M/0/YES..and he’s like 30 years old… lol. wait.. would they?! lol.

    Posted by Q | May 18, 2011, 9:32 am
  14. Reading some of the comments, may I ask why it is important to know how many partners you partner has had?

    This is a class act in stereotyping people.

    The fact that a 24 year old guy who lost his virginity at 18) has banged 10 girls doesn’t mean he is gonna bang another 10 girls in the next 6 years.

    Neither does banging 6 guys in 3 years make a girl a hoe (I don’t even believe any girl is a hoe sef)

    Okay enough, I think I am beginning to sound self righteous.

    *Grabs crotch and walks away…..

    Posted by lagoshunter | May 18, 2011, 9:33 am
  15. LMAO… What an imaginative post!
    I’ve actually thot abt the opposite sex CV thing before but SNL? Lol… That’s like a complimentary card.

    Posted by Radeyo | May 18, 2011, 9:34 am
  16. LOL.. This is just not necessary

    Posted by H•A•W | May 18, 2011, 9:35 am
  17. F/2/1

    I think it will only complicate things….sometimes I ask out of curiousity but its not ‘really’ necessary info in my opinion.

    Posted by katie | May 18, 2011, 9:36 am
  18. A ha.. was waiting for this.. glad it came from you… I shall side step your earlier comment cause, well, you missed my gimmick :(…
    Anyways, for me, stereotyping is a MAJOR issue in our society and number of sexual partners is just one of many ways we do it. I think I can understand why you feel strongly about this (I think) but I hope people will answer the questions you raised above.

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 9:37 am
  19. *F/2/yes…I think. 😐

    Posted by katie | May 18, 2011, 9:39 am
  20. F/3/Y1 lol first off lol @ Adedayo Okoro Mohammed…..that’s such a WAEC name. It would be an interesting situation……just don’t know if I’d like it. Who wants those extra variables thrown into my already extended equation for choosing a guy- I know this sounds idealist but should it really matter? At worst you should both go get an std/aids test abi? I may be wrong tho…..with my SNL being what it is.

    Posted by jAyajade | May 18, 2011, 9:39 am
  21. Help us integrate the formula?

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 9:42 am
  22. hahaha. this is pretty nuts… it probably wouldn’t change much though. Cuz everyone’s got something to hide…

    Posted by cikk0 | May 18, 2011, 9:42 am
  23. you want me to put my ANOP? Hian! Problem go dey o…this post is not very safe….and wearing SNL will not solve problems o..just conflict.

    Posted by awizi | May 18, 2011, 9:58 am
  24. F/-/-
    Errr ladies plix dont jonze it..in as much as it is no biggie, seriously men cant handle that kind of info..(Men that truly care)..they are that jealous..not forgetting their chauvinistic nature on the other hand, they dont see why they should even hide the number of partners they have had(whether they care about you or not).

    Posted by MizDahmi | May 18, 2011, 9:59 am
  25. Lmao…rili creative stuff Tools…way outta d box too…
    *grabs mic* M/0/No (almost doesn’t count on d last ansa)…n as to how dis cld affect P or long haul…I dnt think it’ll make much of a difference…som guys like “experienced” babes…ditto for d girls…it’s still a case of wat’s ur flavor…*drops mic*

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | May 18, 2011, 9:59 am
  26. But then as humans we thrive on stereotyping, there has to be a yardstick for everything we do if not everyone will just do anyhow. I think its now up to u as a person to create your own stereotype.

    Posted by loba | May 18, 2011, 10:00 am
  27. Omo……dis blog gimme fever…….its too mathematical….talking about codes n shit……lol! I guess having SNL codes wud complictae issues, its not everything u want to put out dere……especially when looking at it from d p setting/ sarewa point of view.

    Posted by lasgidiboi | May 18, 2011, 10:02 am
  28. Oh i forgot to add that you just avoid having the discussion all together,afterall its in the past..sexcapades of the past stay in the past.

    Posted by MizDahmi | May 18, 2011, 10:06 am
  29. Do they really? Did you read the post on Okafors Law?

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 10:10 am
  30. I dont exactly subscribe/believe that law entirely.

    Posted by MizDahmi | May 18, 2011, 10:13 am
  31. In a world free of all prejudices, woulda been fun to do this. X_X

    But the fact remains that no matter how much guys say they want ‘experienced’ girls there’ll always be this bias against ladies with plenty Ns.

    Maybe even against no Ns too. Lol.

    To say it doesn’t matter would be very unrealistic though. I won’t want my bf spending any time with any girl he’s banged in the past. Ex-gf or not. But so long as I’m not having anything special with u it’s really none of my business.

    Bottom-line: spare us! U can lyk to tell it all to ur bf/gf/fiancé/fianceé. Resumé style. 😀

    Posted by GloryO | May 18, 2011, 10:14 am
  32. Thank you for this. Im glad you gave your answer in terms of the importance of the relationship. lol @ resume style, that would certainly be more interesting than my code..

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 10:19 am
  33. Well, you said ‘entirely’. Anyways, I think you should see Glory’s comment below…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 10:23 am
  34. Lol, this would be so wrong!

    Posted by nengie | May 18, 2011, 10:24 am
  35. Aaah!! Tula is not my leg dat wee commot. Truth is no babe shld tel a guy dat o(TMI). lyk my ex told me all babes lie n say dey’ve only done 3guys (with d guy askin being d 3rd)pls let’s stick to dat. All d i-am-sexually-independent modern day bullshit no dey work. So 4 me its F/3/Yes. *goes bk to pounding yam*

    Posted by OmoJesuDivaOlorire | May 18, 2011, 10:25 am
  36. Very funny. Cracked me up a lot. But seriously, as a rule, I don’t want to ever inquire about my girlfriend’s past. That kind of knowledge could send one into a tailspin of doubt and jealousy. So, I really don’t care about her “resume”. o matter who she is, there are skeletons in her close; the same with us gents…

    Posted by UncleJevi | May 18, 2011, 10:33 am
  37. Very funny. Cracked me up a lot. But seriously, as a rule, I don’t want to ever inquire about my girlfriend’s past. That kind of knowledge could send one into a tailspin of doubt and jealousy. So, I really don’t care about her “resume”. And no matter who she is, there are skeletons in her close; the same with us gents…

    Posted by UncleJevi | May 18, 2011, 10:33 am
  38. in her closet*

    Posted by UncleJevi | May 18, 2011, 10:35 am
  39. As in, ko jor mehn… ANOP on this thread? even on dating sites sef, na derived DNOP pesin go post… if requested.

    Posted by Radeyo | May 18, 2011, 10:48 am
  40. Let’s agree that ‘that yardstick’ isn’t always a straight one, sometimes it is crooked and points in the wrong direction….

    Posted by lagoshunter | May 18, 2011, 10:49 am
  41. Frankly I think this Number of partners thing is pointless. I never ask anyone how many people they’ve slept with because it really doesn’t matter to me. What I do ask is 1)Have you been having safe sex and would you be willing to get tested with me? 2)What caused you and your last two partners to split.

    Every other detail about who he/she slept with and how many of them is stupid. What does the number actually accomplish? Does it tell you that he’s/she’s “experienced” and will be a great lover or is a whore and will be a bad partner? Because it doesn’t.

    Its really just another tool for us to use to judge people. A) Omg he’s having all this sex, I’m jealous. He/she is such a G. B) He/she is such a whore. I’m soo much better than him/her

    There’s enough judgment in the world.

    Posted by vanity | May 18, 2011, 10:52 am
  42. Definitely it’s not usually straight. As you said our different life styles determines that yardstick, and no one really has the ideal lifestyle. ( What is even the ideal?)

    Posted by loba | May 18, 2011, 10:57 am
  43. I’m very sexually active. My number of partners is actually relatively small because when I find a sex partner who pleases me I tend to stay with them for a long time. So if I was asked my NOP it probably wouldn’t predict anything but ask me my number of times and things will get tricky. Anywho F/17/yes.

    Posted by vanity | May 18, 2011, 10:58 am
  44. Ermmm!!! Do prostitutes count??? Hun?

    Posted by mr I'm out of this world | May 18, 2011, 11:00 am
  45. And this is where you lost me….we that are horrible at math nko?

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | May 18, 2011, 11:13 am
  46. For a long term relationship (Read as P-free) I’m a strong believer in the don’t ask-don’t tell policy. No matter what it is, you can’t handle it. Yes you’ll forget, but one day you’ll be asking who her chairman is and something about the lilt of her voice will make you wonder how many other brothers she had enthusiastically praised.

    However, it’s stat quo for anything else. Again, these are my personal thoughts.

    Posted by 'Jibòla | May 18, 2011, 11:13 am
  47. Me I kuku agree with Jibola….

    Posted by awizi | May 18, 2011, 11:19 am
  48. This year alone….my SNL lasan na controversy…..who wants me to disclose?

    Posted by Skilobo | May 18, 2011, 11:23 am
  49. If ur 100% sure dat d truth is not gonna affect ur rship,then go ahead,afterall it myt jus b out of curiousity..but judgin by d hypocrisy of d society we live in,we all know dats not d case,so let’s jus let sleepin dogs lie.Some stones r beta left unturned(especially if it myt affect true love)
    *nw singing* ‘weda na 1N..weda na 100N,Baby u got me,Baby u got me’

    Posted by djabbarish | May 18, 2011, 11:26 am
  50. Guys:
    ANOP = DNOP/3

    Factoring Okafor’s Law for guys
    ANOP = ln DNOP/3 + dy/dx DNoP*3 x 4

    Gurls:
    ANOP = DNOP*3

    Factoring Okafor’s Law for girls
    I have no bloody idea, just use BODMAS

    Posted by Skilobo | May 18, 2011, 11:30 am
  51. Maybe there’s something wrong with me,but I’d like to know d number of sexual partners my husband to be had been with, the circumstances and all… Not because I want to judge him but because I want to know what I’m going into. Don’t wanna someday hear some bitch coming up and saying she slept with my man in the past and I can’t say anything because I don’t know anything about it. It Will pain me too much. And we girls can be mean like that.

    Posted by iKnow | May 18, 2011, 11:34 am
  52. As long as she’s not a virgin, u’re gonna be asking who her chairman is. Whether u know how many Ns or not.

    Posted by GloryO | May 18, 2011, 11:58 am
  53. I wonder why people always stereotype. I guess its a way of making quick estimates of a persons character. Pity its such a useless predictor of personality. Personally i guess i do this too, though its more of in terms of range than actual number. I cant judge anyone (man or woman) whose N is less than 100. We all like sex to differing degrees but if you are in you are twenties, not a prostitute, have not been involved in gang-rape or any other mitigating circumstances and your number is over a hundred, I’d have to ask “what is your malfunction?”

    Its one thing to have sex a lot and like it. Maybe 100 times with 40, 50 partners, BUT its another thing to do it with so many different people in such a short span of time.

    What are you looking for inside those vaginas? Are you a treasure hunter? Indiana Jones of Pussy? Or are you the Penis Tomb Raider? hoping that someones semen will make you rich?

    Anyway, that is my own opinion. It may not be worth the number of bytes required to post it.

    As an aside, some questions:
    1. does anal without vaginal sex count?
    2. what abt oral without vaginal?
    3. what abt other miscellaneous insertions? ear, armptits, handjobs,etc
    4. what about twins? is that 1 or 2 people? (they share a lot of DNA in common)
    5. what is love?

    errr…depending on the answers to the questions above I am either

    M/0/Yes
    M/6/No
    M/3/Yes
    M/2/No
    (really though, one of them is the truth)
    and then strictly statistically speaking, i could be F/10/Yes. though the probability of this is 0.000000000001

    I’ve probably said enough.

    some one shud ask Obi wan-360NOBS- kenobi his number.

    Good post Toolsman. Btw, You get spanner?

    Posted by Loki | May 18, 2011, 12:03 pm
  54. err.. wow.. ok, this is a COMMENT. Thanks Loki and as for your questions, I think it’s only the actual act that counts and Love? It’s just if you’ve ever fallen in it or not…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 12:29 pm
  55. Im with IKNOW on this though, contrary to what alot of y’all have said here, I think most (if not all) of us will at some point, try to find out your partners SN..maybe L… especially for long haul (marriagish)kinda relationships.

    WHY? Cause not knowing means you’ll forever wonder when she smiles at that guy she hugged at the supermarket who she offhandedly called ‘an old friend’, and your mind will ask questions if he gets too defensive about that one female friend.

    Im totally for full disclosure once it’s P-Less cause contrary to the saying, its what you DONT know that’ll kill you, not what you know. BUT and I’ll add that BUT.. only do this if you’re ABSOLUTELY sure you can handle it… and even at that, do it before you go too far with the commitment just incase you cant handle it…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 12:34 pm
  56. err.. go ahead and “surprise” us…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 12:36 pm
  57. hahahaha.. I think I need to add that

    Prostitutes = 2N…

    LMAO…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 12:40 pm
  58. @Lagoshunter,I have a friend who is 30yrs old and has his SNL status as M/1/yes,he dated the same girl since he was 22 and only just broke up. He says he will definitely ask a potential GF for her SNL status before courting her because ‘he doesn’t want to date someone more experienced than him’
    This may be the reason a lot of guys care about this things forgetting ‘women lie and can pretend to be inexperienced’

    Posted by mabijo | May 18, 2011, 12:42 pm
  59. Lets be honest, we were created to Judge.. Whether you know or not, you’ll still judge and get judged so why not save your heart the trauma of forever wondering by finding out and getting it over with since it doesn’t mean much anyways?
    Oh & btw, my opinion holds only for P-Less relationships.

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 12:45 pm
  60. woah! which one is ear and armpit again? :O a guy sticks his penis in your ear and armpit? okay okay ave heard it all…who wants to go on this journey of discovery with me..or maybe not.

    Posted by chinnydiva | May 18, 2011, 12:55 pm
  61. Gbam!

    Posted by lagoshunter | May 18, 2011, 12:59 pm
  62. As much as I would like to know why he smiled at this one girl or texted another..I would rather not know my man’s ANOP. Just knowing who you’ve dated in the past is quite enough to go on.

    …and he had better not ask what mine is, they always ‘think’ they can handle it.

    Posted by chinnydiva | May 18, 2011, 1:03 pm
  63. This is weakness.

    I am sure, you’d also like to know where he is every minute of the day.

    It is not because this information is useful but because I THINK it stems from insecurity.

    So what if a chick walks up to you and says she has banged your man? So what? It would make you feel weak or weaker?

    Posted by lagoshunter | May 18, 2011, 1:05 pm
  64. F/ 1/3 /YES

    Posted by nikki | May 18, 2011, 1:11 pm
  65. NAWA OH,,..ALL DESE COMMENTS CAN MAKE ANOTHER POST..ESP D 2 FRM LOKI… NEWAYS, I DNT THINK IT MATTERS HOW MANY PEOPLE 1 HAS SLEPT WITH… GUY OR GIRL…:)

    Posted by CUPCAKEMOUSE | May 18, 2011, 1:34 pm
  66. I think Mr Lagos Hunter is just very unrealistic for this comment. So that spells weakness to you? Well its ur opinion sha, but doesn’t mean it is correct..aw we were

    Posted by jadesola | May 18, 2011, 2:02 pm
  67. M/16/Maybe #OkBye

    Posted by freshprinz | May 18, 2011, 2:15 pm
  68. But why… why should this be a factor in getting (or staying) with someone. At the end of the day, as long as he/she is not a virgin and you are ok with that… then the number of partners should not be an issue. We are always looking for new ways to make conclusions about people before we actually get to know them. So what if a girl has had sex with 10guys… does that mean she won’t be a good girlfriend/wife? Or does it really make sense that you can fall out of love with someone because you thought they had been with 2 people and it turns out they’ve been with 5? SMH

    Posted by Simmylala | May 18, 2011, 2:17 pm
  69. Tula you need your own radio show. This blog won’t cut it..#Thatisall

    Posted by awizi | May 18, 2011, 2:25 pm
  70. Pray tell, what does “….he doesn’t want to date someone more experienced than him…” translate into? A more fulfilling relationship or one where he needs to feel secure? In other words, a number of girls are going to be judged by him based on their past simply because he hasn’t being very sexually active.

    Insecurity is what it is irrespective of how y’all feel about it. A person’s past sexual life in no way determines their future.

    If you feel this information is important well good for you but keep one thing in mind, not admitting you have a problem doesn’t make it non existent.

    Posted by lagoshunter | May 18, 2011, 2:38 pm
  71. *picks mic* “testing, mic check” *clears throat & stands on soapbox*

    I wasn’t going to say much but after reading some self-righteous comments….well, here goes nothing…

    If a girl sleeps with 10 guys in 3yrs is she a whore? YES!!! Without a doubt, in fact let’s stone the whore to death!!!

    I’m not tryna promote stereotyping but I am not naïve & I do believe that stereotypes are a result of social conditioning. To a layman social condition is the acceptance of assumptions based on their regular occurrence in society. So if 90% of suicide bombers in the U.S in d last 15 yrs have been from d middle east would it not be wise to search all turban-wearing suspicious-looking punks at an airport. Most definitely.

    The only problem is that there is the occasional exception to the rule. The good guy/girl who just happened 2 be seduced by more ‘dubious’ fellows one too many times hence their large ANOP. Or in even rarer cases the reformed whore. All in all, stereotypes are stereotypes 4 a reason, let’s not deceive ourselves.

    *drops spittle covered mic*

    Posted by freshprinz | May 18, 2011, 2:48 pm
  72. I find it hard to understand how the PAST can be so important when contemplating the future with somebody else?

    You want to know so that if she smiles while saying ‘hi’ to Peter you can ask her why?

    This is just what it is UNFAIR STEREOTYPING and PROFILING.

    What makes it worse and more pitiable is the fact that nobody is guaranteed to be told the truth so what is the FUCKING point??

    Posted by lagoshunter | May 18, 2011, 2:50 pm
  73. LMAO @ loki’s comment. A lot of ppl making a lot of sense on this thread. But I dnt think havin our SNL codes floating above our heads wud b gud. It wud only complicate things.

    Posted by Ms_Anee | May 18, 2011, 2:54 pm
  74. First post uve written that i do not agree with or let me say i did not get the hang off
    first of i would never lie about my sexual partners so i guess ur DNOP rule is false
    and i really couldnt care less how many people my partner has been with
    whats important is that he is with me now

    Posted by bbb | May 18, 2011, 2:54 pm
  75. Caaammman dude.. the past will ALWAYS be important but FOR DIFFERENT reasons.

    Why do you call for someones resume or references from former employers? Well, lets just say it’s a guide, an instrument used to shortlist based on certain criteria before you proceed to interviewing.

    Now, in that case, the past might be important for making decisions but regarding the topic here, I haven’t said the basis of you asking for your prospective future partners dossier is so you can use it to judge if you can be with them or not.

    All I’m trying to get people to ‘acknowledge’ here is that fundamental human inquisitive instinct. You’re married, are you sincerely telling me you’ve NEVER EVER wondered about your wife? Even for the ‘spillest’ second?
    You might answer No and try to justify with the kind of open relationship you guys have built but personally, I think that knowledge may even strengthen what you currently have.

    I

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 3:11 pm
  76. Hey, first off, the DNOP rule is based on general opinion and from comments here, you’ll agree with me that quite a lot of people do it.
    As for caring about how many people your partner has been with, I also don’t. To better understand my point, please refer to my response to Mr. Hunter above.

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 3:17 pm
  77. read it, i see your pt, would i find out about my husbands exes? yes eventually itd be a jist kinda thing somewhere along the line, not a prerequisite for the relationship though, my pt is that whether its 2 or 50 i wouldnt care

    Posted by bbb | May 18, 2011, 3:28 pm
  78. I’d rather not turn this into a debate.

    Like Son1aO said in her comment, this is information that will be shared over a period of time.

    I know about my wife’s sexual past but I did not come to learn about this because I made a deliberate attempt to but because after 5 years of courtship/marriage, this kind of information is usually common knowledge and it is most likely an honest one when shared in this way.

    To anybody for whom sexual past is important, simply save yourself the trouble, go and get married to a virgin and while doing that, make sure that you are a virgin too.

    Otherwise, it all becomes like a breast without a nipple, pointless…

    Posted by lagoshunter | May 18, 2011, 3:28 pm
  79. seriously now you wouldn’t?

    Posted by awizi | May 18, 2011, 3:52 pm
  80. I wasn’t gonna react to this,then I read my mentions……

    I am definitely the last person to feel self righteous cos I am a sinner who wears his sins on his sleeves & proudly too.

    Funny how stereotyping makes sense until you are the one on the receiving end of it. Who is a whore? What are the parameters for defining whoreness?

    Was it by mistake that you use a female as an example and not a male? What do you call a guy who has banged 10 girls in 3 years??? (I am interested in this answer)))

    I am quite vocal today because it is very wrong/unfair to stereo type people based on behavior because behavior defers significantly from other factors used for profiling & stereotyping such as religion which are designed and control at a macro level. However individual behavior is dictated at a micro level—the person’s culture,religion,self esteem, etc….
    And because this differs significantly from one person to another, how can it be fair to profile based on behavior when the factors that affect our individual behavior can be/is external &/or very personal?

    I could go on but I will rest my case here…..

    Posted by lagoshunter | May 18, 2011, 3:55 pm
  81. What if you’re a virgin (hymen intact) but you take it from the back?

    pS: justAsking oh..

    Posted by StephanieIj | May 18, 2011, 3:57 pm
  82. lmao, u got me rolling

    Posted by bbb | May 18, 2011, 4:04 pm
  83. LOL.. well, it seems are points are not so far away from each other. At least we both agree on the fact that knowledge of ones partners past sexual activities should not be a yardstick for deciding whether or not to be with them.

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 4:05 pm
  84. Asking for a friend abi? … that should probably count as 1.5N even..

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 4:06 pm
  85. forgive me for asking but what would the limit be for a guy..10, 20, 50 or not at all?

    All of this is just a load of crap, the number of partners or lack of it a man/woman has had has NO direct impact on the success of the relationship.

    A girl will stay with you because she likes/loves you and likes the way you make her feel. Her past relationships and sexual coalitions do not detract from this.

    P.S. I think calling a girl a whore for sleeping with 10 or even 20 guys in 3years is not only myopic but downright stupid! Last I checked, we are in the 21st century so sexual preferences and disclosures are entirely up to the subject. If I decide to bang a different guy for every day of the week till the year runs out, it is entirely my business.

    Posted by chinnydiva | May 18, 2011, 4:15 pm
  86. Chinny, lemme just clarify, this post does not suggest that the number of partners a man/woman has had will have direct impact on the success of a relationship as a result, I have no answer to your first question.

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 4:21 pm
  87. The question and comment were actually directed at Mr. Fresh and grew out of his comment on stereotypes.

    Posted by chinnydiva | May 18, 2011, 4:36 pm
  88. F/0/no…. I’m probably suffering from SWS

    Posted by shygurl | May 18, 2011, 4:44 pm
  89. m/69/No… pleased to meet u

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | May 18, 2011, 4:55 pm
  90. F/6/NO… wot if momsi sees d code or d family pastor or my bestie thatdoesnt know how evil i am… n trust me, my momsi will so grab n so fry my ass

    Posted by iamSHY | May 18, 2011, 5:06 pm
  91. Well if all my other insertions and pokings dont count (Dude! seriously, do you know how hard it is to get a girl to do anal? How will it not count? I no go gree o!)…then I’m M/2/No.

    And i still vehemently reject stereotyping. though the information may be useful in determining your partners mental state (See original comment above). I feel everyone should be willing to share it this info. Even if it is just in terms of ranges (more than…; less than…, etc) I’m not ashamed of my number. If you judge me for it, then that says more about you than it does me. Personally I would volunteer the info before being asked sef.

    It think the number actually matters less than WHO the previous partners were. What if it were your sister he slept with? or your brother? or best friend. I think those matter more than the actual number. Maybe the only question that should be asked is: “Have you slept with anyone that you know is a part of my life?”
    Maybe.

    Afterall…Konji does not respect any man, woman, child or animal.

    YAY for Armpit sex!

    Oya o, troublemakers INC, Make una ask OGA HobNobslushie how far with im own.
    I sure say the number go long pass my current bank account balance. but then again , i’m sure both will be equally fictional.

    I think I’ve said too much already.

    Err… Toolsman, you get Ratchet?

    Posted by Loki | May 18, 2011, 5:16 pm
  92. chai. Bummer (Not the anal o).
    Its cool.

    Posted by Loki | May 18, 2011, 5:32 pm
  93. As one who has successfully navigated his penile ship through the waters of discovery, I will not only go on the journey with you but i will guide you. Call me.

    Posted by Loki | May 18, 2011, 5:34 pm
  94. Tah!!! M/0 ko?? See this self acclaimed confaamed (but underground sha) Sawaleh royalty!! Sharrap diaaaa!!!

    Posted by Slim | May 18, 2011, 5:36 pm
  95. lol.. too many people have said this… we’ll see..

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 5:42 pm
  96. @LagosHunter: First of all I would like to remind u that I specifically stated that I neither endorse nor approve of stereotyping. I only used both examples to explain how society views these things.

    First of all let me revisit my first example. A girl who has had 16 sexual partners in 3 yrs needs rehab, why? In a society where promiscuity is frowned on she’d have to be real ‘easy’ to have accomplished such a feat. Does it mean she’s a bad person? No. Foolish? Most likely but not definitely. Will it have any bearing on whether her next relationship will be successful? Nope, not necessarily. Should have boyfriend be concerned? Yes. Like I sed, there’s a high possibility that she’s pretty gullible (no pun intended) & I’d advice him to never leave her in a vulnerable place. In other words, if u’re going out of town call her every 5 mins, make her feel special.

    Why did I use a babe in this example? Well that’s because society doesn’t give a hoot about how many babes a guy has been with. In fact the higher your quota the more badges u get. A certain HobNobs Sushie, documents his ‘exploits’ & gets famous & applauded for it; but woe betide any babe who’d try dat in naija. She’d be excommunicated from her church, office & even her salon. She would be just as popular for all the wrong reasons, despised, prosecuted & condemned & publicly stoned.

    Once again, I’d like to say that I don’t endorse this, but hey I don’t make the rules.

    @chinnydiva: I’m a self-confessed ‘ex-whore’ with very high milleage. I’m not proud of it but I do believe it plays an important part in future relationships. If I met a girl with half my mileage I’d ask that we both get tested before we ever have sex amongst other things. Btw, why’re taking it personally? Would u mind putting up ur ANOP? Even if my comments offended u that much u could’ve just sipped on a sprite or sed something less offensive 😛 .

    Posted by freshprinz | May 18, 2011, 5:53 pm
  97. Oh my! This is very interesting.like freshprinz said, we all stereotype. No need for forming. @lagoshunter, its not insecurity, its not like a ” sit down let’s discuss our past” conversation, its more like I cannot marry you if I don’t know about your past relationships, sexual or what not. A person’s past relationships whether to you agree or not is impt to future relationships. Would u marry a girl whom you knew absolutely nothing about her past relationships or sexual history? I doubt very much. Please let’s be honest with ourselves.

    Ps- with these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince you…

    Pps- as far d whole lying about your partners, girls only lie because they think they will be judged, shikena. And yes, they will be judged! Sadly, not so much for guys. Its a man’s world.

    Posted by iKnow | May 18, 2011, 5:53 pm
  98. Besides, let’s not forget about ‘okafor’ while we’re hiding our sexual histories, meanwhile okafor is lounging somewhere waiting to prey. Abeg, I no do! I want to know so I can be know who and who to be wary of.

    Posted by iKnow | May 18, 2011, 6:03 pm
  99. @bbb, so you will wait until you get married before you find out about your husband’s sexual history? Good for you girl

    Posted by iKnow | May 18, 2011, 6:06 pm
  100. But seriously though, why would someone have had 20 sexual partners in 3years? Is sex an olympics game? Rubbish! Let’s call a spade a spade! (A hoe a hoe)

    Posted by seriously | May 18, 2011, 6:12 pm
  101. I rest my case, I must say you put your case across better here.

    I also like the way you handled Chinnydiva’s angst.

    Hi-5…….

    As for Toolsman, hope you are happy now??

    Posted by lagoshunter | May 18, 2011, 6:15 pm
  102. erm.. well, yeah.. since I can’t hug you guys I’ll just hug Chinny then…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 18, 2011, 6:30 pm
  103. *gulps sprite* my steam has blown over so I’ll just call a truce.

    P for P

    Posted by chinnydiva | May 18, 2011, 6:31 pm
  104. i totally concur

    Posted by lade | May 18, 2011, 8:07 pm
  105. Skills u get issues

    Posted by Immortal Teddy | May 19, 2011, 1:20 pm
  106. hi

    Posted by test | May 19, 2011, 8:17 pm
  107. F/1/1

    Posted by kankey | June 17, 2011, 11:27 pm

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