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Monday Rush

Set fire to the rain

Hey people. Hope your weekend was good. Ok, that’s that. So I’m a little bit pissed right now so y’all have to bear with me. Before I begin, let me just state that I’m shoving the bro-code to the curb today. Why? Cause I have a sister. I have female cousins and friends. I hope to have nieces and at least a daughter some day and I hope this piece right here will help them in one way or the other.

Forget religion and all, if you take one good look at yourself from head to toe with all the intricate features you were made with (no matter how beautiful/not-so-beautiful you are) and you still don’t feel enough self pride to walk away from a situation with a he/she with whom you clearly see no future then maybe I need to call the MFM folks to organize deliverance sessions here. Heck.. now that I’m even thinking about it, some of us brothers could find this info useful because the whole world seem to have lost their gaddem minds but sad thing is that most guys won’t admit to being in such situations so I’ll just keep it to the ladies.

The feeling varies from pity to sadness to anger, depending on how close I am to the victim (yes, victim) when I’m told just how ‘difficult’ or ‘impossible’ it is to walk away from him because… heck, most of the time, they can’t even come up with a good enough reason why they can’t seem to be able to leave despite the fact that they know he’s screwing some other chic / he’s head over heels for some other chic (who probably doesn’t like him half as much) / or HE’S NOT JUST THAT INTO THEM.

Well, since y’all won’t face facts and tell yourselves the truth, I’ve made it my duty to do so today. Here are some reasons why you need to set fire to the rain:

We are all SELFISH
Don’t even give me that bullcrap about how much you’ll hurt him if you walk away. This is about YOU. Yes, YOU. Not him. You’re not getting younger. Tick Tock. 23. You stick with his trifling behind. He doesn’t commit. 24. He gets into a relationship with your mutual friend, you still hang on in the name of whatever. 25. He’s single again, you think there’s hope… Smell the freaking coffee and do yourself a favour.

No woman was created for just one man
If you belong to the school of thought that disagrees with this then “wait behind for instructions” after reading this post. I think one of my favorite stats to quote is the world gender ratio. UN unofficial stats state that there are almost 9 women to 1 man now so please shove it. Don’t also go on about how there’s too much competition out there and how you’ll probably never find another. Question is, is he even yours?

The world still believes in Fairy tales
Since this is Nigeria, I might as well add this fairytale-ish point. Someone once said, if you want to know if something is yours, let it go and if it was really meant to be yours it’ll come back to you. (like I said, fairytale-ish) but yeah, if you’re so convinced he has feelings for you but can’t figure out why he can’t seem to commit, let him go (not partially, I mean delete EVERYTHING) and see what happens.

No one has ever died from emotional pain
If your excuse is not being able to handle the emotional trauma that will follow, then let me help you by stating (and yes, I did research this), that noone has ever been recorded to have died as a result of emotional hurt. You might cry, even have some sleepless nights but you won’t die.

He wont do it
If you’re still not convinced or your excuse is that you’re waiting for him to let you go then you need to know this: HE WON’T. Why? It’s sorta like what I tried to explain here. Greed is a basic human instinct (Ask Adam). He has you at his beck and call. He can have others and still come back to you so why on earth will he want to let you go?

Inserts Adele’s cd…. Someone like you…

If you’re a guy and you can relate to this, or you’re a chic and this post hit very close home, help me think up more points or share your experience by using the comment box. Speak your mind. Cheers.

PS: We have an interesting week ahead here. I’ll be introducing a new category tomorrow. On Wednesday, we’ll have an exclusive post from one of the erm.. ‘revered’ members of our comment community and on Thursday, we’ll have the third episode of Our Best Friend’s Wedding. Use this link to subscribe and stay informed.


About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman


81 thoughts on “Set fire to the rain

  1. Summary of post = Love sucks.

    Everyone knows this.

    Posted by RiCDiZzLe | May 30, 2011, 9:10 am
  2. That ” i cannot let go cuz he would be hurt” thing just ANNOYS me, when girls say that….Fucking pisses me off!

    Posted by tolz | May 30, 2011, 9:10 am
  3. #GBAM! #GBAM! #GBAM! #GBAM! #GBAM! #GBAM! 5 of that for the 5 letters in “WORD” and an extra #GBAM! For emphasis’ sake!

    Posted by Delphine | May 30, 2011, 9:13 am
  4. While I agree completely with the points stated here, I cant help but criticize the statement that “No one has ever died from emotional pain” Don’t suicides and depression-induced accidents count?

    However, this is not reason to remain a perpetual fool for “love”. A little foolishness is required for love, else it wont be real love, but at the same time a little selfishness is also required to balance it out, Methinks.

    Good post. I’ll come back if/when i can think of more reasons 😀

    (Although I know Adele was being poetic, as an engineer, I have to say that its quite impossible to “set fire to the rain”. Hydrocarbon vapours cannot form clouds of sufficient stability at the atmospheric level to induce rain of flammable liquid. Ok. I know this is not why we are here. Carry on… :D)

    Posted by thinktankt | May 30, 2011, 9:17 am
  5. Ehn, Toolsman, here have a sip from my cup of sour lemon juice and sit the fuck down!!

    Men date/marry apparent gold diggers/bitches, just as women will continue to date/love/marry those of us that are (or not so) apparent assholes.

    This post changes nothing, not even the fact that the asshole that is gonna take my daughter’s virginity and break her heart is probably being born right now……

    Take another sip of sour lemon juice….

    Posted by LagosHunter | May 30, 2011, 9:19 am
  6. By d way, what does one get for being “First!” around here…huh??

    Posted by RiCDiZzLe | May 30, 2011, 9:21 am
  7. Hahahhaaa…nyc 1!

    Posted by Chiwunma | May 30, 2011, 9:22 am
  8. Erm.. gala and lacasera will arrive in your mailbox shortly…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 30, 2011, 9:22 am
  9. Hear hear ladies and gentlemen…Lord Tula has spoken…
    I agree with you 100% bruv…

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | May 30, 2011, 9:22 am
  10. We have a little space in the corner for people who post comments like this.. ok, just the part at the end.. oya be a good boy and go stare at the wall before we make you…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 30, 2011, 9:23 am
  11. I was gonna allude to d depression induced suicides n other things but ThinkTank alredi did…
    I must say tho dat I’m of d opinion dat love is a decision even if emotions aren’t…if u decide to stay in dat dead end relationship don’t go complainin to anybody…
    Oh n to @Ricdizzle…Love DOES NOT suck…

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | May 30, 2011, 9:29 am
  12. I LoVE yoouuu Toolsman!! You have hit the pro-effing-verbial nail on the head!! God bless you for this. Hian! Yes I do believe if a guy likes you, he’ll def call you back if u delete him. My dad once spent bou an hour telling me “never settle for less or let any man take advantage of you. This is your house, you’re welcome to stay for as long as you it takes the right man to find you. I waited for your mum to come around for 7years. And yo even prettier than her(a last playful dig at her)”. I hugged him. I should hug you too.

    Posted by Venus De Mord Sith | May 30, 2011, 9:29 am
  13. Well said tho… I know I’m gonna roll today ‘coz of some comments…

    Posted by H.A.W | May 30, 2011, 9:30 am
  14. Many human beings fear the unknown. We would rather be unhappy than face uncertainty. We are creatures of habit.

    Posted by je_mc2 | May 30, 2011, 9:31 am
  15. *Singing* “ota mi o ni ya fokan …” eheheheh see Tula oh, you think these words are going to trigger some form of genetic evolution that would change the status- quo ? pele oh… The ladies know what to do, they just don’t want to do it. As for the men, the world is not even enough…you’re now talking about one girl.

    ‘Yes! i’m playing anatgo today’ bite me!

    Posted by griffinthinks | May 30, 2011, 9:36 am
  16. O_o _TT_ sit down!

    Posted by Delphine | May 30, 2011, 9:37 am
  17. I so expected this. I’ll have your sour lemon and raise you two shots of yoyo bitters.

    In my words.. “the whole world seem to have lost their gaddem minds”…

    Does this mean we should all sit and do nothing about global warming or … nevermind..

    Lets get real, your daughters virginity will be taken (barring any forays to the land of ‘nunry’) .. that’s a giving.. so also is the fact that ladies will fall victim to assholes and apparent assholes but every individuals mistake threshold should only be so much.

    So what, he/she screwed you over once…maybe twice… deal with it and move on.. don’t stay there and act like there’s no alternative.. that’s the issue here..

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 30, 2011, 9:37 am
  18. I’ve been with guys who thout they wanted to marry me. Acted and spoke as much. But when they started acting assholish, did I stay? No! Did it hurt, yes! Did I delete them, stopped picking their calls and move on? Yes! Sometimes, a little patience doesn’t hurt or make u less of a strong independent woman, but I’ve always been of the opinion that no girl can deny she doesn’t know that guy/man would never love her as she wants. Deep down she knows.sometimes I don’t pity girls that moan and cry bou how some guy took a huge piss. She let him. She had a choice! Sorry I’m beginnignto ramble 😐

    Posted by Venus De Mord Sith | May 30, 2011, 9:38 am
  19. Ahhh..no wondr I was told 2 wait 4 2dys post.. Hmmm I wasa once a victim of ds n Tula helped me out.now am ova it..

    I really can’t plce my hands on d reason y I glued my ass dere cs d whle world felt I was betta off wt out d persn.evn mutual frnds bt no I still stayed dere.den I wasa in a fairytale land dt he wld cme 2 terms wt me.bt I guessd nt..

    I agree wt all d poitnts stated here n I tnk d earlier u gt such person off ur mind d bettr cs d guy\gul definately wont cme 2 terms wt u luvn u.so PACK UR BAGS n RUN as FAST as U CAN.

    Ps I knw it mght b hard bt u can do it :)..

    Kai I hope I made sense sha *shrugs*

    Posted by kekereeeee | May 30, 2011, 9:40 am
  20. *insert hug here*

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 30, 2011, 9:44 am
  21. *sigh*… this is disheartening… we are confused creatures.. its not just the habit.. greed is also a part of it…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 30, 2011, 9:46 am
  22. Better join Mr. Hunter and sip some yoyo… It’s easy to play Jim Iyke in this action feem when your daughter isn’t the one being used as the ping pong ball…

    Posted by thetoolsman | May 30, 2011, 9:48 am
  23. I totally concur wit U̶̲̥̅̊.I v dis gf whose fiancee treats her lyk shit.I mean dis gal funded all his exams and whatnots so he cld get into Uni (which was quite sacrificial of her considering d fact dat guy forgoot al about her when he got into sch.he rememberd her when he got out and needed a lil fin backin b4 he starts workin and my fool of a friend went back.nw four yrs l8r she’s d one in sch and d guy can’t help her which s not d issue.He attacks her self-esteem and makes her feel lyk she can’t get any other guy,lyk he’s doin her a favor by marrying her.do U̶̲̥̅̊ knw what dat does to a gal? Low self-confidence.apart from dis he compares her to other gals and tell her how she can’t measure up even if she trie,wheneva she tries.And he hits on her friends.And he WON’T LET HER GO.d guy is an ass not jus any ass but a lame-ass.nw I dnt knw hw else I can impress dis upon my friend 😦

    Posted by Somegal | May 30, 2011, 9:54 am
  24. The way I see it, speaking as a girl who can relate to this, although not personally, it is mostly about fear. The fear of being alone forever if you dare take the plunge. At the rate at which young girls are getting hitched, no woman wants 2 be left behind 2 inhale the toxic fumes of rejection these hurried females seem 2 emit. If by 25, u r unmarried, u r deemed unwanted, a stale product that’s been left on the shelf too long.

    By sticking 2 a man who even you know is bad 4 u by all standards is equivalent 2 being reduced to shamful nakedness indoors but covered up regally outside. Excuse being “at least she’s married, you’re not” which translates into the married but unhappy woman is more socially acceptable than a happy spinster. And that’s what us girls believe…if I hold on long enough, I just might be able 2 snag him. Who cares if I’ll be unhappy 4 d rest of my life, I’m married b*tch!

    Posted by wordsofanaries | May 30, 2011, 9:59 am
  25. I think wat tula meant was that d actual emotional pain doesn’t kill. Suicides and things r actions FROM the heartache

    Posted by bimbo | May 30, 2011, 10:01 am
  26. Awwwww…*sniff*….*now reading on*

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | May 30, 2011, 10:22 am
  27. This is kinda true…

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | May 30, 2011, 10:22 am
  28. Nice write up..num1 d stats u quoted contradicted ur post na :s..when u say 9women to 1 man then obviously women will put up with cheating since there aren’t enough men for them to have 1 to themselves
    2.Pple actually have died from emotional pain in the sense that I know a woman who developed hypertension cuz of how much her husband hurt her and hypertension can lead 2death..so yeah overthinkin and over hurt can lead 2a severe physical deterioration d key is 2keep away

    Posted by olly | May 30, 2011, 10:23 am
  29. Yes you did 🙂

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | May 30, 2011, 10:24 am
  30. ‘I’ll raise you two shots of yoyo bitters’ lol just hilarious.

    Posted by jAyajade | May 30, 2011, 10:26 am
  31. I’ll just keep reading…

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | May 30, 2011, 10:27 am
  32. We girls sha.. like someone said, its mainly fear. What’s the diff between this asshole and the next? Why don’t I just stick with the asshole I’m familiar with.
    Self esteem issues too…, u know he doesn’t want u, so why are u staying?
    These things are a lot more complicated than this post can possibly imagine. We gals are a barrage of emotions and sometimes we find ourselves in situations we didn’t plan for and instead of counting our losses and running far, we decided to stay on and try remedy a situation that cud never be remedied.
    At other times, the men are entirely to blame, they lie and deceive and the women are completely ignorant until everything comes tumbling down.
    And I rily don’t think its love that make we women stay, trust me its not. Its a lot of things ranging from fear, to shame, the d sense of loss, to having to explain to pple, to making changes and of course believing he’s the best u’l ever have.
    Anyway, these things will continue to happen, women will continue to b obsessed with men who don’t care about them and men will continue to take advantage of that particular weakness in women!

    Sorry for my very long comment. The post hits a bit close to home.

    Posted by @deevagal | May 30, 2011, 10:31 am
  33. Somegal; “he Won’t let her go”? Really? *laughs* does he own her life? Is he Osama Bin Laden’s nephew? The girl should better dust her slippers, and be on her way out. Out of the “relationship”

    Posted by adedoyinhazel | May 30, 2011, 10:38 am
  34. U are so right @deevagal nothing is gonna change..self esteem is actually 1 of d biggest factors..any1 with self esteem wud not put up with any man dishin out crap 2her just cuz she’s scared 2be alone..I’ve been der n done dat..as 4d men der r alotta assholes n only a few good men

    Posted by olly | May 30, 2011, 10:40 am
  35. *goes to sit in corner* *sulks*

    Posted by thinktankt | May 30, 2011, 10:48 am
  36. I’m enjoying the comments now 😀 *sips flammable milk*

    Posted by thinktankt | May 30, 2011, 10:57 am
  37. I have a friend who has been engaged to this guy for 3years now. He proposed like 3months after meeting her.he has cheated on her continuously over the years,and she found out for the first time the same week they had their one year anniversary together. The idiot even had d effontry to do renewal of vows(in this case gave her another engagement ring) on the anniversary..she found out about one babe in jand a few days after gettn her second ring,was depressed,he begged,she forgave…2weeks later another babe…I tried to talk her off him,he begged,bought her stuff,she forgave…I stopped talking about it to her…theyr gna be hitting their 3years of engagement soon,and she has found out about like 6more people,some of whom she knows and are even close to her,and I’m like u’re not even in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship,u’re ENGAGED!!!how can she allow herself to spend the rest of her life with this guy. Mind you,its not like he’s just cheating on her for the sex oh,he has proper relationships with these other girls,goes as far as asking them out and squiring them about town,and complains to some of them about how clingy she is…and she has heard some of these things but is STILL with him. Am I wrong to conclude that she’s just a gold digger who is trading heartbreak for money??cos I know she really likes him,but she’s a fine girl that has other options lined up for her,but I think she has a weakness for power and material things,and this boy has both of it in spades,he has a very bright future,so I’m thinking she might just be sticking it out for the eventual rewards..but is it worth this type of humiliation???

    Sorry for rambling on,but this girl’s issue gets me riled up. We’re no longer close because of this sef,cos I’m tired of talking.

    You have a wonderful blog,keep it up. 😀

    Posted by Nasss | May 30, 2011, 11:00 am
  38. *sigh* I wish “that” chick I’ve been liking for all this while now would read,digest and implement this and get over her silly ex..I mean..wot kinda girl puts up pictures of her ex on her bb after being dumped?..she calls it “carryin a flame”.. I call it sheer stupidity..like sum1 said..guys r all assholes..( yes we are)..y hang on to one?..come and see MY asshole game..who knows u may be able to live wit it..and enjoy it maybe..please let ur hair down ladies…but ehmmm..*in zebrudaya’s voice* watch ya mileage oo!!!…good read

    Posted by he-beau-goon | May 30, 2011, 11:04 am
  39. Yeah its so true that these men even deceive the girls to stay on but as the post says, of course he wouldn’t mind you staying on if he knows he can use you whenever he wants and you’d still be there.

    As Venus de Mord said, you’d always know deep down when you’re he aint into you.

    Its a lack of knowledge of Self worth. There are good men ! A lot. This notion of the devil you know is crap.

    Stand up, drape yourself in confidence and move…and also don’t wear the desperation fragrance, its unattractive.

    Posted by StephanieIj | May 30, 2011, 11:07 am
  40. Hahahaha…the writer sounds so angry. Well,who knows what the fuck love is? No one does.its just a feeling designed to leave you when you truly have had enough. Love sucks. Love makes you do stupid things. I’ll never understand why abused girls remain in their abusive relationships. But I believe that when they’ve reached their threshold,they’ll walk away (that’s if she doesn’t die first)

    Posted by no1chick | May 30, 2011, 11:09 am
  41. @Adedoyinhazel I wnt be hittin far from d mark if I said yes,he does own her lyf and she gave him,on a golden platter…can U̶̲̥̅̊ help me tell her dat last bit about d slippers.

    Posted by Somegal | May 30, 2011, 11:11 am
  42. But 9 women to one man though…*orders tonnes of vibrators* I can’t compete, cha cha!!

    Posted by no1chick | May 30, 2011, 11:16 am
  43. My girlfriend of circa 7 years left me cos she didn’t think I was gonna be ready for marriage this year. Will you say she smelt the ‘coffee’? (At the time, I was btw) In as much as I get what angle you are coming from, the woman isn’t always the victim. However, everybody should be able to move on… To love afterall as gidi mallam put it is a choice. Also let me add, that this post will not put off ‘mumu switches’ world over cos well, what’s a mumu switch without the mumu?

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | May 30, 2011, 11:18 am
  44. In fairness to guys, it works both ways. I know a quintessential good guy who’s less than standard but abou town gf played with his heart all ways from sunday. I couldn’t tell him to leave cos I didn’t wanna believ a girl could so brazenly play a guy. He learnt his lesson eventually.

    It’ll be mighty hard to let go of a painful relationship but think about yourself, as Tools sed, be selfish. The best way to do that is to love yourself totally before goin into the relationship in the first place.

    Set out your principles, your peeves, your limits before you go into the relationship. Be very humble and realistic with your list but it helps to write one before things get lovey-dovey and fuzzy.

    Have a confidante. Not running to him/her after every tiff but someone to set things in perspective for you. Esp for girls. 9/10 girls never advice themselves ‘leave that relationship”. Guy-friends can.

    Pray. When its goin good, pray. When its going awry, pray. It actually works. Sometimes wen things start to get ‘jaga-jaga’, it may not be the end, just a phase or God testing your resilience/tolerance or even the guy/girl testing u.

    Posted by Venus De Mord Sith | May 30, 2011, 11:29 am
  45. True Love burns the brightest, But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.

    Posted by royce_banks | May 30, 2011, 11:33 am
  46. Yeah..like venus says..it works both ways..no pun, but some ladies can be “assholes” too..they leave under the “re-discovering myself” pretext..score a few and eventually realize the it actually isn’t greener on the other side..and come scampering back..smh..its not gonna happen..bottom line is..love urself..be smart (u cld do wit a lil external help)..be objective..and lastly..be patient..rash decisions never made anything better..u don’t have to rush into or out of anything at all..if u’ve put all this into perspective..ANY decision made will and MUST be FINAL..no turning back..*in piers morgans voice* but life’s a bitch..as much as it screws us all..there’s no hard and fast rule to anything..

    Posted by he-beau-goon | May 30, 2011, 11:43 am
  47. @slevincalevra “OUCH”..here bro..have some vodka + sprite \_/

    Posted by he-beau-goon | May 30, 2011, 11:47 am
  48. @Somegal: ur friend needs 2 suck it up like @adedoyinhazel said…she’s thinkin she’l loose out on her investment, but no1 has d right 2 make anoda person feel worthless…I realized that and am better for it. She shud c it as charity and move on

    Posted by Miss Em | May 30, 2011, 11:57 am
  49. Ah no…this person is CURSED!

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | May 30, 2011, 12:31 pm
  50. Just gimme the vodka joh! I don’t need the sprite…

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | May 30, 2011, 12:40 pm
  51. wat is *wasa* ? lol

    Posted by kenyauk | May 30, 2011, 12:53 pm
  52. TULA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Like I always say…if you love someone….let them go….if they return, na your bathroom slippers dem com borrow!!!!!

    Ouuuuuuuu! Ds post!!!!! I smell RAGE!!!!!

    Am convinced……THIS IS NOT EVEN A POST!!!!

    *np crossfade – already gone*

    Posted by ibetapassmyneighbour | May 30, 2011, 12:53 pm
  53. shes probably older than 25 as well

    Posted by kenyauk | May 30, 2011, 1:01 pm
  54. @slevin Titrate the sprite out when next u pee…if u “disobey ur thirst” and don’t drink d vodka nko?

    Posted by he-beau-goon | May 30, 2011, 1:04 pm
  55. My advice to you all? Learn to lead your thoughts, be conscious of your personal reactions, overcome mind dominance and all will be well with ”your world”. Dont do what you’re expected to do. DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. if this ”victim” wants to ”dey der”, let he/she be. At the end of the day, it is this victim that will decide to move on or not. Your words can only conceive the thought of leaving but is this ”victim” willing to let go???

    Posted by kenyauk | May 30, 2011, 1:14 pm
  56. Mehn there are many babes like this believe me.I was gettin heated up on this topic on twitter..I just believe their heads have so been hammered into believing a woman is nothing if she doesn’t get married and every1 keeps sayin men r scarce bla bla so d minute a man comes along like dis if u like sit on her and use her to play “janglova” she’ll still stay

    Posted by olly | May 30, 2011, 1:15 pm
  57. She’s goin to be 24 this year,not like her biological clock is about to tick itself off!.the longer she stays with this guy the harder it will be for her to move on if they never get married.

    Posted by Nasss | May 30, 2011, 1:16 pm
  58. Well toolsman,a couple of years ago, I watched my own younger sister date man best buddy. A guy who though not married is just as gangster.
    When I noticed he was hitting on her & she was responding positively to his advances, I pulled her aside & asked her what the hell she thought she was doing?

    Her response? “I’ve always like him. I’ve had a crush on him for a very long time”
    I zipped my trap & said nothing more.

    While they dated,I turned a blind eye as my friend went rogue. The relationship lasted a year, she broke it off & said he wasn’t being faithful.

    Look at it this way, the girl you’re calling a fuck buddy or side kick is somebody else’s sister, isn’t she?
    Oh well,life continues.

    Posted by Lagoshunter | May 30, 2011, 1:20 pm
  59. Pls lemme get dis straight o..u dated a girl for 7years!!ddnt bring up marriage n she did sumthn wrong leavin u?unless u mean she ddnt find u financially stable enough 2marry u den ok she’s mean but if u ddnt propose or talk of marriage..wht were u waitin for in 7years?who will date sum1 for 7years hear nothin bout marriage n jst stay there

    Posted by olly | May 30, 2011, 1:26 pm
  60. Yes!!!

    Women are all sorts of weak.

    Even weaker when it comes to issues of the heart.

    I mean that’s why Okafor’s Law works.

    It takes a decent man not to take advantage of that weakness.

    Men are assholes. Yes we are.

    It takes a lot for a man to rise above his basic instinct and not take advantage of any situation.

    That’s how we are built.

    That’s what we are taught.

    To Conquer…everything in sight.

    To be a Man, you have to ‘unlearn’ a few things.

    To be a Woman, u have to be Strong.
    And do right by your conscience.

    Love is about self denial and sacrifice.

    If One can not sacrifice the opportunity to do the wrong things on the alter of love, then you do not deserve to be in love.

    The number one question always is ‘Is He/She worth the Sacrifice’?

    Bottom line: Never Trade your love your love for anything less than love.


    Posted by @FoluShaw | May 30, 2011, 2:21 pm
  61. does being a certain age permits u to bear more bullshit in a relationship? comments like this pressure stupid gals into remaining in demeaning relationships. what’s age got to do with it?

    Posted by @deevagal | May 30, 2011, 2:34 pm
  62. you are right

    Posted by BBB | May 30, 2011, 2:50 pm
  63. ok reasons why girls sit and take crap
    1) fear of being lonely aka, being the girl without the bf to brag about
    2) society has made cheating a not so good reason fr breaking up, the hell even my own mother thought i was mad to leave a 6yr relationship cos of cheating
    3)lack of sex, yes sex, not all girls are pretentious about sex, and not all girls sleep around, but i guess if he is cheating on you, sex with him isnt safe
    4) financial reason aka he bought her blackberry and the torch 2 is almost out, she has her eyes set on that lol
    5) he is hot, this goes back to reason 1, she doesnt think she would find a hotter dude out there
    6) no self worth, yup biggest reason of all, she doesnt believe she deserves better
    7) time invested, girls sit their as down and take more nonsense because they already invested years in a relationship, see reason number 2 and my 6year relationship, again my mum thought i was mad because of this.

    so yeah, its easy for every one to come here and run their mouth on this issue BUT, unless you are in it, faced one of the problems above then its easy to say yes if it was me I WOULD LEAVE.
    trust me its not easy to LEAVE

    Posted by BBB | May 30, 2011, 2:59 pm
  64. i think @BBB has said it all.
    when u have invested years in a relationship, its not as easy to walk out. A lot of things come into play

    Posted by anonymous | May 30, 2011, 3:18 pm
  65. A sound slap to the face should do it

    Posted by Loki | May 30, 2011, 4:15 pm
  66. I’m not sure that statistic is correct. In fact the ratio of males to females on the planet is still about 50:50. I’m not sure about fully grown adults.. but yeah.

    Tula see the link below: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080826202554AAFOrIT

    Posted by Prof. Knowitall | May 30, 2011, 4:26 pm
  67. While I agree with most of everything, I’d like to point out that heartbreak can actually cause heart failure. It’s rare, but it happens. I know this.

    Aside from that, I have nothing profitable to add. R/ships aren’t my thing. I don’t like when people give stupid excuses like the ones mentioned above. *shruug* But what do I know? To each his own.

    Posted by cecenostockings | May 30, 2011, 4:45 pm
  68. gbam! really sox

    Posted by Roman Senator | May 30, 2011, 7:50 pm
  69. ah ahn… see some dom & sub things here ooo…

    Posted by Roman Senator | May 30, 2011, 7:52 pm
  70. its not easy to Leave… we all know that! in our heart of hearts,… one reason why some people find it easy to leave is because they were not fully committed and a likely reason why they were not fully committed was fear of leaving.
    i totally agree with the post anyway… face your fears and Leave if you have to!

    Posted by Didi | May 30, 2011, 8:53 pm
  71. Thank you. Tula. I have a friend that this post applies to. I hope she read it and i hope it spoke to her cos i have just about given up on her

    Posted by Sam Sam | May 31, 2011, 8:28 am
  72. it hurts to even read it but the ‘Bro Code’ has been used and abused too many times for me to fight for its cause. So I guess i’d have to throw in my cents into this…there’re a lot of relationships out there that coulda been prevented if a certain ‘friend’ had spoken up and given a low-down on one of the parties but then again, i guess human beings are too selfish. Personally, i always throw the bro-code to the side when it involves a friend i care deeply about. But to all the ho’s who act like they know-it-all i always leave em to their fate…*shrug* i know i shouldn’t but I care enough to take ur insults….I’ll probably encourage him/her to treat u like the piece of turd u are if u question my judgement.

    Posted by freshprinz | May 31, 2011, 3:26 pm
  73. I’m a guy n hv been in these shoes. It sure does suck as hell. Not so easy dusting urself n leaving bt its very possible. The song Loving every minute by lighthouse family comes to mind.

    Posted by runawayhusband | May 31, 2011, 7:08 pm
  74. thnx and oh, I’m still looking for that fifth letter in WORD.

    Posted by Emphasis | May 31, 2011, 7:43 pm
  75. *sigh*… there are alot of problems/issues in this world sha…

    I like the venom expressed in writing this post. Like really, it’s a thing for great concern. Maybe becos I’m an only boy with 3 sisters, I also feel the same vexation when I see helpless girls go thru situations like this. But not to be so judgemental, I cant know but will obliviously understand why it’s so difficult to just up and leave becos I’m not the one wearing the shoes.

    May God help us all.

    Posted by Radeyo | June 1, 2011, 3:04 pm
  76. Nice…

    Posted by Andrea | June 4, 2011, 3:00 pm
  77. I thnk I can rili relate 2 dis post. I dated a guy 4 close 5yrs, al thru university.ma ex did not cheat or anythng lik dat. I thnk cos he noticd I rili loved him he became cocky, he broke up wit me twice 4 almost no reason n being d lovestruck galfrend I wud go n beg him. It gt 2 a point where I wud evn b scared 2 offend him so we dnt fight, cos I always did d begn. A part of me saw dat he had bad traits n he wasn’t takn up some necesary responsibility, bt I shut dat voice out. ppl kept telln me I could do better. Bt I did not want 2 breakup cos I did not want 2 hurt his feelngs(*slapsself*),d word single also scared me 2 bits. Then I was wondern wat I wud say 2 all our frends who would start askn questions about us.n I was scared of leavn a reletionshp of 5 yrs so I refusd 2 read d signs.wen he brokup d 3rd tym I dnt evn send,he was d 1 who came 2 beg.I lata(recently) decided 2 dust ma slippers n I left d relationshp. Wen I thnk about al d trash I tuk, I fil lik slappn maself

    It takes a lot of strongwill n self confidence on d gals part 2 make up her mind n leave a dulling relationshp

    Posted by zee-berrie | June 6, 2011, 11:13 pm
  78. Nice…lol

    Posted by nebz | June 9, 2011, 10:41 pm
  79. In my quest for help in writing a certain assignment, i came across dis. Toolz, God bless u.
    I am currently going tru a r/ship dat i know is bad 4 me. Ur write-up n pples’ comments av moved me2 take a stand. Though i wont blame him for everything dat’s happenin, cos i @ d beginnin did d unforgivable. But i asked4 forgiveness n he claimed2 av 4given me.

    Posted by Bubble G. | June 18, 2011, 7:59 am
  80. *dis is d happy me now speakin* erm… Cant really remember wat was btw dese two post. This is wat is left of it sha.
    What av i not done to get my man back?! Crying? Ranting? Living in denial? And many more. Because of him, i now av lil or no male friends. He saw to that. I love Venus’ comments mostly. I wish parents wud be so understanding n say stuffs lyk dat n not put pressure on their kids to give them grandkids. I’m rilly rilly scared of being alone. N i HATE myself4 being this vulnerable. I ll save dis, so weneva i tink of going back, i ll come back to dis n read, for strength. With tears in my eyes, i just hope i finally leave him 4good. God help me. #thisissosick

    Posted by Bubble G. | June 18, 2011, 11:46 am

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