I see my dentist twice a year for scaling and polishing.
Sitting at the reception of Dr Sadare’s dental clinic, I pick up a girly magazine and flip through its pages to pass time as I wait my turn.
“No one wants someone who isn’t already taken” is written in bold yellow letters across a page. It is an article on why chicks find married guys (or guys in a relationship) very attractive.
I stop flipping and start reading……..
5 minutes later.
Sigh, the article is the same old thing. When it comes to relationships, the unattainable is always more desirable.
Personally, I don’t think it is a big deal to tell a chick I am flirting with that I am married. Some chicks find it very offensive while some don’t. It makes things less complicated and saves both of us a lot of time…..no need pursuing a relationship that isn’t going to turn into one. Even as a single guy, it was always easier to get a girl on the side if I was already in a relationship.
It is generally easier for a guy to get another chick if he is already in one relationship or already married. This is not my opinion, it is just a fact.
Despite this fact though, some people still lie about their relationship status for a number of reasons. Some guys say they lie because they don’t want to be rejected. While this sounds very plausible, I think it complicates things in the long run. I will never understand why guys do it.
Girls do it too but rather than lie that she is single when she isn’t, a girl is more likely to lie that she isn’t when she actually is. It is all part of the forming, she has to give him the impression that she is already taken. This is also a good strategy when she isn’t looking for a serious relationship.
Many chicks actually hit on married men, hoping to “land” them, for three reasons:
1.” Somebody has them, so they must be good enough……they are confirmed.”
2. “They have sex regularly. They’re experienced in bed”
3. It is a challenge….”let me see if I can steal his attention from his wife/girlfriend”
My mind drifts to some discussions I have had with my friends in the past..…..
UncleT: I’ve been happily married for 5 years and I have never been as comfortable and confident approaching women as I am now because it’s a win-win situation. I have nothing to lose. When a girl I’m flirting with knows I am married, it is either she turns me down and I go home to my loving wife or she doesn’t, we both have fun and I still go home to my loving wife.
Binta: All guys cheat. If I like a guy and he likes me, I will date him. I don’t care if he is taken or not. Simple! Why care? After all, he is going to be unfaithful to his girlfriend/wife whether it is with me or not.
Chuboy: As a single guy in a relationship, it is easier to get a girl, although I usually have to make them believe there is a possibility at being the main one…….that is, overthroning my girlfriend.
Oyinkan: I once dated a married guy. Not proud of it sha. When it started, the guy didn’t say anything at first and I assumed he was single. I was already head over heels in love by the time I realized he was married. I figured things must have been bad between him and his wife for him to be toasting me. I don’t really know, I made sure we didn’t talk about it much though, because deep down inside me I was jealous every time he was with her instead of me.
Amadi: I lie. I lie about being married. I find it so much easier. I lie because I can’t stand rejection. It is sometimes difficult to keep the lies up but I still prefer it. It can get tricky sometimes because I am not sure what will happen if a side runs bumps into my wife and I in a public place.
Samson: It makes a lot of sense that women warm up quicker to guys in a stable relationship because women compete with themselves a lot…..“Because she has him, I want him for myself” In short women are just complicated.
Angela: Single guys, especially those over a certain age, think that because they are unattached means that every single woman wants them. Nonsense! If they only knew that their attitude completely kills any interest we have in them! A married guy is just less complicated.
Babs: A woman likes to be in control. She knows (or at least thinks she knows) what to expect from the relationship. On the other hand, dating a single guy takes more effort and requires a lot of second guessing. Her mind starts thinking things like -“Does he like me?”, “Do I look stupid?” or “Why did he say that?” or “Emm,I don’t want him to get the wrong ideas and start thinking I like him….” etc.
Obby: Why would you say it’s OK to flirt when you are married in a relationship? It is completely wrong! I am a single attractive woman that gets hit on by married men, and it’s rude and disrespectful to their wives and to me. Many married and single people don’t care to respect the covenant of marriage. Flirting should remain something you do with your spouse or as one single person to another. Not a married person to a single person or a single person to a married person! *Hiss!*
TK: As a single guy, I have to say nothing upsets me more than a hot chick complaining about being single when dozens of single men like me are dying to call himself her boyfriend. It’s true that single men can be less comfortable to talk to “because” we are so actively seeking a relationship, but give us some slack, please.
Innocent: When I wear a wedding ring, I get a lot more female attention. When I don’t, I don’t.
Miss K: I am single and not ready to be committed in a relationship. So I prefer to date a married guy. He usually has nothing to prove like most single guys. He will not disturb me and be asking me stupid questions like “where are you?” “Who are you with?”And I don’t need his permission or approval to be anywhere or with anybody.
Dave: I am single and searching. That is all I need to say these days. Girls are desperate to get married. Why make it complicated? I don’t know how you married guys are able to get girls when they know you are already somebody else’s property. My girlfriend isn’t in the country so in a way I am single even though I am not searching…… at least not for long term. *Smiles*
Jennifer: It is just easier to flirt with a married guy. Everybody knows what’s up……..
My phone rings and at the same time, the receptionist says to me “Err, excuse me sir, Dr Sadare is ready to see you now…….”
Back to reality….I drop the magazine and stand up.
The next 20 minutes is going to be very uncomfortable but I don’t mind. I can’t flirt much if I’ve got bad breath, can I?
The Hunter has spoken. So, are you UncleT, Miss K or Oyinkan? What are your thoughts on the subject? No one wants someone who isn’t already taken? Use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.