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Special, Wednesday Dialogue

Hunter Speaks: No one wants someone who isn’t already taken?

Going to the dentist is one of the two things I don’t enjoy but I do anyway. The other is flying.

I see my dentist twice a year for scaling and polishing.

Sitting at the reception of Dr Sadare’s dental clinic, I pick up a girly magazine and flip through its pages to pass time as I wait my turn.

No one wants someone who isn’t already taken” is written in bold yellow letters across a page. It is an article on why chicks find married guys (or guys in a relationship) very attractive.

I stop flipping and start reading……..

5 minutes later.

Sigh, the article is the same old thing. When it comes to relationships, the unattainable is always more desirable.

Sigh…..

Personally, I don’t think it is a big deal to tell a chick I am flirting with that I am married. Some chicks find it very offensive while some don’t. It makes things less complicated and saves both of us a lot of time…..no need pursuing a relationship that isn’t going to turn into one. Even as a single guy, it was always easier to get a girl on the side if I was already in a relationship.

It is generally easier for a guy to get another chick if he is already in one relationship or already married. This is not my opinion, it is just a fact.

Despite this fact though, some people still lie about their relationship status for a number of reasons. Some guys say they lie because they don’t want to be rejected.  While this sounds very plausible, I think it complicates things in the long run. I will never understand why guys do it.

Girls do it too but rather than lie that she is single when she isn’t, a girl is more likely to lie that she isn’t when she actually is. It is all part of the forming, she has to give him the impression that she is already taken. This is also a good strategy when she isn’t looking for a serious relationship.

Many chicks actually hit on married men, hoping to “land” them, for three reasons:

1.” Somebody has them, so they must be good enough……they are confirmed.”

2. “They have sex regularly. They’re experienced in bed”

3. It is a challenge….”let me see if I can steal his attention from his wife/girlfriend”

My mind drifts to some discussions I have had with my friends in the past..…..

UncleT: I’ve been happily married for 5 years and I have never been as comfortable and confident approaching women as I am now because it’s a win-win situation. I have nothing to lose. When a girl I’m flirting with knows I am married, it is either she turns me down and I go home to my loving wife or she doesn’t, we both have fun and I still go home to my loving wife.

Binta: All guys cheat. If I like a guy and he likes me, I will date him. I don’t care if he is taken or not. Simple! Why care? After all, he is going to be unfaithful to his girlfriend/wife whether it is with me or not.

Chuboy: As a single guy in a relationship, it is easier to get a girl, although I usually have to make them believe there is a possibility at being the main one…….that is, overthroning my girlfriend.

Oyinkan: I once dated a married guy. Not proud of it sha. When it started, the guy didn’t say anything at first and I assumed he was single. I was already head over heels in love by the time I realized he was married. I figured things must have been bad between him and his wife for him to be toasting me. I don’t really know, I made sure we didn’t talk about it much though, because deep down inside me I was jealous every time he was with her instead of me.

Amadi: I lie. I lie about being married. I find it so much easier. I lie because I can’t stand rejection. It is sometimes difficult to keep the lies up but I still prefer it. It can get tricky sometimes because I am not sure what will happen if a side runs bumps into my wife and I in a public place.

Samson: It makes a lot of sense that women warm up quicker to guys in a stable relationship because women compete with themselves a lot…..“Because she has him, I want him for myself” In short women are just complicated.

Angela: Single guys, especially those over a certain age, think that because they are unattached means that every single woman wants them. Nonsense! If they only knew that their attitude completely kills any interest we have in them! A married guy is just less complicated.

Babs: A woman likes to be in control. She knows (or at least thinks she knows) what to expect from the relationship. On the other hand, dating a single guy takes more effort and requires a lot of second guessing. Her mind starts thinking things like -“Does he like me?”, “Do I look stupid?” or “Why did he say that?” or “Emm,I don’t want him to get the wrong ideas and start thinking I like him….” etc.

Obby: Why would you say it’s OK to flirt when you are married in a relationship? It is completely wrong! I am a single attractive woman that gets hit on by married men, and it’s rude and disrespectful to their wives and to me. Many married and single people don’t care to respect the covenant of marriage. Flirting should remain something you do with your spouse or as one single person to another. Not a married person to a single person or a single person to a married person! *Hiss!*

TK: As a single guy, I have to say nothing upsets me more than a hot chick complaining about being single when dozens of single men like me are dying to call himself her boyfriend. It’s true that single men can be less comfortable to talk to “because” we are so actively seeking a relationship, but give us some slack, please.

Innocent: When I wear a wedding ring, I get a lot more female attention. When I don’t, I don’t.

Miss K: I am single and not ready to be committed in a relationship. So I prefer to date a married guy. He usually has nothing to prove like most single guys. He will not disturb me and be asking me stupid questions like “where are you?” “Who are you with?”And I don’t need his permission or approval to be anywhere or with anybody.

Dave: I am single and searching. That is all I need to say these days. Girls are desperate to get married. Why make it complicated? I don’t know how you married guys are able to get girls when they know you are already somebody else’s property.  My girlfriend isn’t in the country so in a way I am single even though I am not searching…… at least not for long term. *Smiles*

Jennifer: It is just easier to flirt with a married guy. Everybody knows what’s up……..

My phone rings and at the same time, the receptionist says to me “Err, excuse me sir, Dr Sadare is ready to see you now…….”

Back to reality….I drop the magazine and stand up.

The next 20 minutes is going to be very uncomfortable but I don’t mind. I can’t flirt much if I’ve got bad breath, can I?

Deep Sigh…….

The Hunter has spoken. So, are you UncleT, Miss K or Oyinkan? What are your thoughts on the subject? No one wants someone who isn’t already taken? Use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.

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About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman

Discussion

133 thoughts on “Hunter Speaks: No one wants someone who isn’t already taken?

  1. Lagos hunter speaks!!!about time ..

    Posted by kechilauren | June 1, 2011, 9:02 am
  2. First? Yes?

    Posted by Vicki | June 1, 2011, 9:02 am
  3. Brb…..need a comfortable position to read ds!

    Posted by ibetapassmyneighbour | June 1, 2011, 9:05 am
  4. erm.. sorry Vicki…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 9:10 am
  5. Vicki.Expect obalende puff pufff in ur mail box..its for second place:)

    Posted by kechilauren | June 1, 2011, 9:11 am
  6. There are some truths here. I lie now and then about (not) being in a relationship depending on who i’m ‘talking’ to. Didn’t even realise I do/did this until I read this.

    Posted by Vicki | June 1, 2011, 9:11 am
  7. I can never never NEVER go out with a married guy or a guy in a relationship. I want to be able to call him ‘mine’. Why give yourself so much grief and sadness over someone who isn’t yours in the first place? There are plenty single men out there. Why have quarter or half of someone when you can have all of someone else?

    Posted by d3ola | June 1, 2011, 9:13 am
  8. This topic gets to me every time it’s brought up, to the point I start to think I’m weird. I do not find guys in a relationship attractive cos they are in one, I probably found you attractive before knowing you are in one, but because I try to live by the rule ‘do unto others as you want to be done to you’ I will not chase or even send a guy in a relationship, married or otherwise. I just won’t, cause I wouldn’t want to have to blame myself later if it happens to me, that maybe it’s because I did it once. So there you have it, I can be friends with you, and once in a while share flirty comments, but it ends there, if I know you are taken, you are a no no. Simples.

    Posted by Son1aO | June 1, 2011, 9:16 am
  9. …………….. hmmmmm

    Posted by Zara | June 1, 2011, 9:19 am
  10. Darn!not d 1st.:(

    Posted by valerie | June 1, 2011, 9:21 am
  11. This is also very valid, I ain’t into that whole sharing thing, I love myself too much, and feel I’m worth more than that….but depends on what you looking for, a relationship or just a shag…. either way there are enough single men for that. 😀

    Posted by Son1aO | June 1, 2011, 9:21 am
  12. I can never date a married guy. Don’t u know karma is a bitch? 😦

    Posted by valerie | June 1, 2011, 9:25 am
  13. Serious bitch…. she is not to be purposely messed with

    Posted by Son1aO | June 1, 2011, 9:31 am
  14. I used to be all about not having anything to do with married men. That didn’t last as long as I thought.I met one two years ago and after a couple conversation, we realized we had some things in common. He was smart,caring and very very sexy. *sighs* my first instinct is to stay clear off him but what can I say, I’m a sucker for smart guys. Although we remain friends,I can see why some girls would want a guy who’s taken. I don’t want a guy who’s taken but if he brings me so much joy, even for a short while before returning to his family,I’ll hop on it. It starts off weird and all but theses guys bring some sort of maturity to your relationship and can become that one person you rely on except of course at nights when he’s with his family.
    I guess what I’m trying to say is,if you’re not mature enough to know he’s taken and would be at certain hours of the day, you’re better off with your vibrator.Period!

    Posted by no1chick | June 1, 2011, 9:32 am
  15. I however like to act like I’m open to the idea even though I’m not, just so they feel comfortable telling me that they are married, when they are… as for a single guy claiming his married towards me, you dug your own grave…hehehe… ok I’d stop commenting now

    Posted by Son1aO | June 1, 2011, 9:34 am
  16. I think lies complicate a lot of things. Had this very stressful time in my life when i was lieing to two different babes every single day all in the name of being in a relationship. Dumbest thing I ever did, needless to say i lost them both. Had a conversation with one of them lately and she more or less said she wouldn’t have cared too much if I had been in a relationship….

    These days I never lie about my relationship status, i’d rather let whoever i’m talking to make their own assumptions cos half d time they never ask….but if they do, its easy to tell the truth. I love my girl and I aint looking for a replacement.

    And yeah I agree, single guys get no love. Was on this girl’s case for close to a year and she never even gave me d time of day, just kept stringing me on and giving me false till i got tired of her frustrating games and moved on. Ever since she found out that i’m no longer available she’s been calling me off the hook like it suddenly dawned on her dat i had been interested. Home-wrecker oshi…kmt…

    Posted by freshprinz | June 1, 2011, 9:34 am
  17. Hunter, no girl will admit that she will date a married man and put her real name in the comments box. I can even see from the comments already.
    As everybody says not me, who then are the married men banging? Ghosts? As a guy, I agree. I is always easier to get another girl when I am in a relationship. But No girl will ever admit to being ‘the other girl’ even though we all know that it happens…..

    Posted by Syntaxx69 | June 1, 2011, 9:36 am
  18. …obby yes

    Posted by mzs_pam | June 1, 2011, 9:36 am
  19. nothing dries my vagina up faster than a married man… *not interested smiley*

    not even interested in guys wit gfs (this may be a lie, im not sure), but ive def not nak’d a guy in a r/ship.

    not taken a guy away from his gf….yet *ahem*

    Posted by Zara | June 1, 2011, 9:39 am
  20. So how did you get your current girlfriend? Did you lie that you were in a relationship? or you said you were single, if the latter than you got love as a single guy didn’t you?

    Posted by Son1aO | June 1, 2011, 9:40 am
  21. Being ‘owned’ makes the chase sweeter -male or female – especially since it removes all forms of ‘forming’ and you know the end result from the start. it’s even sweeter cos its kinda taboo and naughty… lol

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 1, 2011, 9:40 am
  22. Not using my real name because some of you know me 😉

    I am dating a married man.I did not start out intending to but it happened. When we started talking,it was just as friends and then over time I got used to him and his attention.He was different from what other guys some how I cant explain.
    I don’t think he wanted a relationship at first,one thing just led to another.
    One thing I know is relationship with a married man is different and less stressful

    Posted by Robi | June 1, 2011, 9:53 am
  23. The ‘abi’ was for which part?

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 9:54 am
  24. was for this part “f you’re not mature enough to know he’s taken and would be at certain hours of the day, you’re better off with your vibrator.Period!”

    Posted by H•A•W | June 1, 2011, 9:55 am
  25. i agree with samson, we women are naturally competitive and we want him more when he has someone else… there was this one guy who liked me for a long time but i didnt send him until a few mnths later he comes back and starts talkin about ‘his baby’ i suddenly saw him in another light and i felt i had messed up…
    as for girls lying, it depends. sometimes u lie cos u’r not happy with ur present relationship and u’r sort of searching, at other times, u lie abt being in a reletionship cos u’r not interested in whos asking, or u dont wanna but jugded for being single.
    yes, sometimes a guy judges a girl whos single as not being attractive enough to have been snagged by another guy.
    in fact, i think both parties are to blame sef, guys want a girl other guys want.. girls want a guy that anoda girl has…

    Posted by @deevagal | June 1, 2011, 9:55 am
  26. Thank you so very much…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 9:56 am
  27. A ha.. finally.. some truth…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 9:57 am
  28. Personally, I am 100% against dating married guys. I don’t even flirt with them. If a married guy must have a side chick, be upfront, so no one builds castles in d skies…
    I’m in a r/ship and occasionally I do flirt but never far enuf to b taken as green light…
    Lies complicate things. No to side chics, but if u can’t, then be honest about it…

    Posted by nengie | June 1, 2011, 9:58 am
  29. Different strokes. Several girls find taken men attractive and more suitable to their circumstances. While several other girls do not. Its whatever works for whoever.
    Speaking for myself, I dont do married men. Not for anything. And its not about admitting to being the ‘other girl’ on here. I wont take another man’s property simply because I’m too bothered about karma. And maybe because I’m selfish like that. I like to be able to lay claim to my man anywhere and everywhere. Knowing he’s with his wife and family every night is heart wrenching enough.

    Posted by shomade | June 1, 2011, 9:59 am
  30. This is true.

    Posted by shomade | June 1, 2011, 10:00 am
  31. Hold on.. maybe we need to help y’all out.. ok, lets soften up on the married guys/gurls bit. How about guys in relationships. Would you feel less guilty with them?

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 10:02 am
  32. Hmmm… well,if you’re gonna be with someone who’s with someone else, you should be able to handle the fact that that’s all its ever gonna be… cuz hardly does it happen that someone leaves their main chick/guy for the ‘bit’ on the side… and if that’s cool with u then (y). I’m way too selfish tho… I cannot even imagine knowing that the person I’m with is with someone else… nope, can’t do it.

    Posted by Simmylala | June 1, 2011, 10:11 am
  33. Btw.. let me add that in my opinion.. a large percentage of people who leave relationships do so because subconsciously or otherwise, they feel they have a ‘back up’ plan in the form of a prospective partner. This only tells me that a lot of people might not be involved in active affairs with married people or people in relationships but a very thin line separates an actual affair from an emotional one and as much as y’all might claim not wanting to be even remotely involved with ‘taken’ men, I doubt if a lot of people can deny the fact that ‘taken’ men make better ‘friends’ or should I say, ‘easier to engage’ and therein lies the problem.

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 10:12 am
  34. u dis girl, face ur training!!!

    Posted by senator | June 1, 2011, 10:14 am
  35. there’s a crazy form of excitement that goes with it… try it and you wldn’t turn back… btw, i’m single bt i know ppl that know ppl that know pppl and it makes me want to marry @ times – might improve the headcount…lol

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 1, 2011, 10:15 am
  36. Plus I’m recently single and there really isn’t a difference between the male attention I got went I was in a relationship and what I’m getting now… Hmmm….

    Posted by Simmylala | June 1, 2011, 10:15 am
  37. Toolsman, guys who are in a relationship..not marriage, are not taken.

    Posted by no1chick | June 1, 2011, 10:16 am
  38. sigh… Even engaged guys aren’t technically taken but the debate put up by the writer assumes they are. That aside tho, does this ‘fact’ then justify girls who ‘allow’ themselves develop feelings for guys who they clearly know are in relationships? Ditto for guys.

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 10:21 am
  39. Throwing in a bit of ‘more’ context.

    This isn’t really about dating (or admitting to) a taken/married guy.

    It is more about why their ATTRCTIVENESS.

    A wedding band is a chick magnet. Even those I meet for the first time.

    Why do you think this is so?

    Or maybe the chicks we are talking about don’t read this blog. Yes?

    Posted by lagoshunter | June 1, 2011, 10:26 am
  40. same here…

    Posted by Son1aO | June 1, 2011, 10:28 am
  41. ‘It is generally easier for a guy to get another chick if he is already in one relationship or already married. This is not my opinion, it is just a fact.

    And this supposed ‘fact’ is based on what exactly please? I’m not going to speak for the generality of women, only myself. And I can tell you this for free: a man in a relationship or worse, one who’s married is OFF limits! Aside all the laws of karma and things, I think it’s only desperate women or those with poor self esteem issues that ever settle for ‘taken’ men. There is no joy being the other woman, no joy @ all! The man will ALWAYS leave and if she manages to usurp the other woman, she will still have NO joy cos she will keep watching her back! Any woman who settles for that…well that’s her own full cup of tea! But she truly deserves better sha!’

    Posted by zanyfran | June 1, 2011, 10:29 am
  42. Well..I like no loveee coming first!,u can tell by looking up to see who commented first.lol.so a married man is DEFINITELY a NONO..when u’ll be getting leftover attention and lovr.IMO
    As for telling a guy I’m not single just so he’d want me.bullocks..heck I tell him I’m in a r/ship just so he doesn’t want me, most times they still do.shrugs*I guess in all of this.the motive is key.
    If u want me to run away so fast.just tell me you are married,or in a r/ship..so if this”nobody wants someone who isn’t taken” is a rule.then I’m the exception.

    Posted by kechilauren | June 1, 2011, 10:31 am
  43. I also know that a girl’s opinion and perspective on this changes as she grows older.

    AND THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY OUT OF DESPERATION……
    She just realizes that fairytale romances are just that. Fairytales.

    Posted by lagoshunter | June 1, 2011, 10:31 am
  44. lol, seems you have more girls from the other camp reading this post today…. like I said it doesn’t make you more attractive, if I see a wedding band, I go “shucks he’s taken” and walk away with head down low, I don’t find him attractive cos of it… *shrug* I have been attracted to a dude who I later found out was married, it pained me, I considered being 2nd wife sef, that’s how bad it was. We don’t see each other, but we talk once in a while, gotsta keep my distance

    Posted by Son1aO | June 1, 2011, 10:33 am
  45. “Or maybe the chicks we are talking about don’t read this blog.” <– I think this must be the case ..

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 10:40 am
  46. As I said earlier, motive is key.the reason I see y’all giving about being in a r/ship with an “engaged” person is its less demanding on you.Hence u don’t want to give in your “all” No?
    So your motive is purely sexual.Yes? Well,its the people that want more than sexual pleasures that I donot underrstand.like u want an actual r/ship with the person???nd it works for you???y

    Posted by kechilauren | June 1, 2011, 10:41 am
  47. I don’t go spotting a ring on a guy’s finger and go all lovey dovey if that’s what you mean. If you find one who does,I’d love to do a CT scan on her brain. What I’m saying is married guys appear like they are more in control of situations than single or more like ‘bandless guys. Maybe that’s what attracts girls to em.*goes for a bathroom break*

    Posted by no1chick | June 1, 2011, 10:47 am
  48. erm.. can you confidently tell me that for every relationship you’ve gotten into, one of the parties involved did not ‘forgo’ one or several other alternatives?
    If your answer to that is No then dont you think there’s little different between a gurl who snaps a “not married” but in a relationship dude (if we agree they are not absolutely taken) and one who claims she wont because most so called single guys are passively involved with one gurl or the other and only one step away from commitment.

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 10:53 am
  49. exactly my point…the ‘God’ factor is very important to me in all i do n He is a jealous God, who visits the sins of the fathers on the children.I want to marry n be able to go back to God n remind him of how i lived my life as a single lady.i’m not that religious but wn it comes to setting ‘P’,i try to be kiaful.

    Posted by bukiola | June 1, 2011, 10:57 am
  50. This is a somewhat ‘subconscious’ thing… our society, religion and culture have made sure it is. Man was created with foundational instincts of greed. Varying levels of morality causes it to materialize in various forms. To some, it might be wanting something another person owns, while to you, it could come across as a challenge to find yours…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 11:01 am
  51. Ask women who are married as second wives. How about those? Or better still third wives.

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 11:07 am
  52. But why wud u find a married man attractive,4 me,once he’s taken,he becomes totally unattractive and off boundary…I love undivided attention,and hate competition,so why wud I want 2 compete wit sm oda girl,
    I don’t knw wat dis world is turning into,that u wud see a taken sign and still go 4 it,tink d person has 2 be retarted or have self esteem issues.
    If u really like d guy,keep it on a friend zone or run away 4rm it..like I do.May God guide us all

    Posted by Bomi | June 1, 2011, 11:07 am
  53. Seriously considering testing this out….hmmm. 😀

    Posted by jAyajade | June 1, 2011, 11:08 am
  54. and it goes way beyond sex.. look in the media.. there are loads of seemingly exposed & educated women who are currently in this position.. whats the motive? Power? Money? Ask them.. not me…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 11:09 am
  55. Sorry I need to know wht u mean by “control” here..last time I cchecked contrrol inccluded being able to restrain from things too.
    Now hw does a man who swore beforre God or amadioha on his wedding day that he would nt cheat on his wife nd does just that look like he is in control.u even added more than a bandless man..I’m verry confused.
    So pls expplain @no1chick

    Posted by thai | June 1, 2011, 11:16 am
  56. “I want 2 get married very early, so I can start getting d chicks by d side” – Yeah right.

    On a serious note, I fink some girls (most I have met) find guys already in a relationship attractive. As for me, I have lied about ma status cos it wld surely have blocked ma access 2 d “p”. But in d long run, lieing about ur status cld get really messy n trust I know cos’ I got burnt.

    But nice write-up brov.

    Posted by BadaTunde | June 1, 2011, 11:17 am
  57. Why people dey lie like ds naaaaa????? Ehnnnn!!!!

    Ds post….YES! I can relate wv ds as always…..

    AM A NATURAL FLIRT!!!! Its dat easy for me….and yea….I love to flirt wv guys in a relationship….Y?? Simple!!! I love tormenting their thoughts and have dem fnkin bout me when they wv their gfs!!!

    Poor babies…they keep calling…but they aint gonna get d couchie….*shrugs*

    Posted by ibetapassmyneighbour | June 1, 2011, 11:25 am
  58. Most relationships hav motives.even the ones that date single guys.it could vary from the normal ones like love,security etc.
    I know some “second and third” wives, that even if they claim to love their husbands, they are never truly happy and they stay becuz of religion, financial security, children, love or attraction is hardly the priority for them
    They settled for that, they knew what their motives were..as I said I still don’t understand the ones that go in solely for love..don’t know if such read this blog so they can explain..it must be fatal attraction

    Posted by kechilauren | June 1, 2011, 11:29 am
  59. sooooooo…im not the 1st then?

    KK…i come back…

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | June 1, 2011, 11:35 am
  60. Na wa! So no girl here has been attracted to a guy with a girlfriend? Please, u girls should \_ and drink holy juweece! Kmt

    Posted by @deevagal | June 1, 2011, 11:37 am
  61. @thai what I mean by control is that most times these married men have had experiences in some trivial situations and are always handy. I’ve met just a handful of single guys who can start a brilliant convo while the others are just bleh. But its just me,I’m a sucker for smart guys.

    Posted by no1chick | June 1, 2011, 11:38 am
  62. This is an interesting topic.
    I’m in a relationship and I never fail to mention that to guys who hit on me. I thought this would easily get them off my case but surprisingly,the opposite has been the case.
    I’ve been getting so much more attention from guys than when I was single.
    Its honestly baffling and quite frustrating. :s

    Posted by MeAtHome | June 1, 2011, 11:39 am
  63. I’m with the Obby person on this. It’s disrespectful to everyone involved. Only difference is, I don’t mind if you’re in a relationship, but not engaged or married.
    Recently though, I try to steer clear of guys in relationships too, because I learnt the hard way that karma is a female dog, and she will bite you in the sensitive areas.
    Please, if you’re looking for fun, no-strings sex, there are plenty of single guys who want the same thing. If you want something serious, there are guys that want that too.
    Let’s all try to be civil.

    Posted by cecenostockings | June 1, 2011, 11:40 am
  64. I for one have NEVER understood why someone would find someone that is married attractive…for that very reason…its beyond me!
    Human beings and their peculiar ways…fascinating.

    If i didnt know you had a babe or were married before ehen i could like you…but otherwise…those reasons like he’s stable or whatever are just BOOSHEET toh me!

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | June 1, 2011, 11:41 am
  65. Yo, this shit be simple, yo. Why hoes be attracted to taken niggas? Its cuz Low down bitches stay trifling. Thats all it is.

    Them Hoes that be getting down with married niggas and hooked up homies, they is some low-down-bitch-ass-skanky-hoes yo! For real, Real bitches keep it real and get they own men, they dont be banging some other chick dude, getting their sidechick pussy smacked down, sucking his married dick and then running they mouth like they run shit. know what i mean?

    No disrespect to them chicks having one night stands in the club and shit, thats all about the nookie, getting ur coochie serviced and having a lil fun Yo. I can dig it. But running around with some other chicks man, going to the movies, restaurants and shit like that? Nah bitch, you is a stupid ass skank hoe and when that nigga wife find out, i hope she come up to yo house with a shotgun and bust a cap in yo skanky ass. Blakka!

    In summary:
    1. Bitches stay trifling;
    2. Real chicks get they own dicks;
    3. Wife gon’ bust a cap in yo ass

    Riley out.

    Posted by Riley | June 1, 2011, 11:49 am
  66. I was in a relationship for 5 yrs and evrytime I met a girl during dat period. It always came out in less dan 30mins dat I was in one… it dint get ♍ƺ any extra points wit any girl ….aside from d fact dat once they knew I was in a relationship they kinda relaxed around ♍ƺ and we wud get to talk more ..but all dat na friendship zoNe….. Since I became single sha…. Its a whole diff game… More girls seem To be interested. Especially d ones dat parked ♍ƺ in friend zone….. I don’t think girls are more attracted to U̶̲̥̅̊ being taken…. I fink its just dat wen U̶̲̥̅̊ taken… And U̶̲̥̅̊ wanna play on d side..U̶̲̥̅̊ tend to be more suave bout it knowing U̶̲̥̅̊ already have sum1 .. U̶̲̥̅̊ play wit ur a game…no. Fear/ second guessing…cos U̶̲̥̅̊ know from d beginning dat its just for d side notting more..

    Posted by lade | June 1, 2011, 11:52 am
  67. Asin serious boosheet..there are lot of single guys that are “experienced ,smart and stable”.thinking a married guy is more likely the smarter one is also boosheeet.
    Oh well.if u’ve been attracted to a guy in a relationship isn’t the point here,because I’m pretty sure most people have been there.
    The issue at hand is if the reason for the attraction was just because you saw the ring on his finger or he told you he had a girlfriend.
    So @deevagal..sip some understanding tea and grasp the point.

    Posted by thai | June 1, 2011, 11:52 am
  68. As for married men and those in relationships-nah,not interested. I respect the union of marriage too much to do that.
    However,I’ve been with a man who was engaged and I knew about his fiance. We ended the ‘r/ship’ some weeks before his wedding.
    After his wife had a baby,he tried to hook up with me again,but I gave him a long lecture and made him realise he shouldn’t be doing that. I like to think he went home a better man. 🙂

    Posted by MeAtHome | June 1, 2011, 11:54 am
  69. HA! Afi Riley na… LoL

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | June 1, 2011, 11:54 am
  70. *sigh* there is some truth in what LH said..at least for me. Guys who are in relationships(not married) do hold a certain attraction. This could stem from the fact that I like to be in control of things..and in situations like this, you are definitely not putting your heart out. So you can always dictate the pace of the ‘relationship’.

    However, as many times as I’ve gotten hit on/hit on(yeah,I’m a dominatrix remember?) a ‘taken’ guy, only one has tempted me enough to walk the dandy rope. I was taken as well at the time. It was awesome having both of them! Plus the sex was great too…by the time we were done though, I’d started catching feelings, left the one I was with..but he didn’t. After several half-assed assurances that he was gonna leave his babe for me, I finally gave myself brain and took a walk.

    Now when I see him/speak w/ him, I wonder what attracted me in the first place…maybe his status. Mscheew! The idiot is still with the babe sef

    Posted by domina | June 1, 2011, 11:56 am
  71. My conscience won’t let me go near a married man…..as for a guy in a relationship errrrrr I’ve neva sha(for now) but I kinda get y some ppl do it. Its like eating ur cake n having it….some people don’t want defined relationships, they’ll rather dictate the rules and have flings. No married man or boy in a relationship can tell the single girl who she can c n who she can’t..well this isn’t always the case tho cuz guys still tend to b controlling. I think the problem starts when feelings come in and you want more…..then the lonely nights. *shakes head* I can’t.

    Posted by katie | June 1, 2011, 12:00 pm
  72. Afi? what that mean yo?

    Posted by Riley | June 1, 2011, 12:04 pm
  73. LOOL @ rileys comment

    Good to hear the hunter speak.

    Hunter, Toolsman: I’m just wondering, does this apply to only girls or does it extend to guys too?

    Are guys also attracted to girls that are ‘taken’. Personally, I’m not, but I wonder what the general feeling is

    Posted by ThinkTank | June 1, 2011, 12:14 pm
  74. Married guys cud be attractive yeah bt they are off limits @ d same time. Yes m scared of karma so I jst tink its nt rite for gals to do such. No one s happy wen dey get divided attentn,if u wud nt want it for urself,dnt do it to anor. I knw a married guy who startd datin a gal,barely a wk afta his weddin n d gal also was into him,its sickenin,y did he get married in d 1st place. I dnt lie abt my relationship status infact I luv sayn I m very hooked to my baby,so we can either be frds or join d queue of guys askin me out to whom I consistently say no to n if ur married,ur def off d queue. And yeah dey willing join d queue. *hope dis is nt too long o,sowie

    Posted by zoe | June 1, 2011, 12:20 pm
  75. Not as much but to some extent it does. With guys, our ego might get in the way plus the fact there are quite a number of alternatives might also change things…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 12:33 pm
  76. *spits*

    *sucks saliva*

    *spit*

    The unavailable is always desirable,yes.

    But please, when the desirable is unattainable make do with the available.

    When did a cheating man/woman start looking like someone who ‘Has it all together’?

    When?

    There are extremely responsible young people out there.

    And in my opinion, they expect high standards from their prospective partners.

    And they fail, woefully.

    Getting involved with a person that is taken,drops your points,DRASTICALLY!

    Except you’re a hoe (male & female) on your grind.

    What ever u do, counts for or against u.

    Bottom line: The choices you make in life determine the value attached to your character.

    What are you worth?

    F.

    Posted by @FoluShaw | June 1, 2011, 12:48 pm
  77. LOL…means nothing…Riley…lol

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | June 1, 2011, 12:57 pm
  78. IMO,I would never date a married man.For a number of reasons.Call me old fashioned but “you reap what you sow” and Karma has an A1 in bitchology.Secondly,he’s married! So he’s with you because he got bored! And don’t tell me that it’s not boredom.It is.The wife either stopped doing something she usually did or started doing something he’s not used to which one way or the other bores him.Thirdly,I look at my mum & my married aunts and I’m like NO…hell NO.Nobody deserves it.Cheating men cannot be stopped completely and rather can selfish hungry olojukokoro babes be stopped completely but at least there’s one less selfish hungry olojukokoro babe in the world.N.B:-This does not stop me from appreciating the good-looking,sexy married men around.But when I see the ring.I sadly close my eyes and have a quick word with God…my husband must not look less than this! *sighs*

    Posted by darkchic | June 1, 2011, 1:05 pm
  79. From this perspective, u meet an awesome guy that has a band, yeah, u are relaxed around him, because u feel he’s taken. And that happens to be your greatest undoing. Sparks begin to fly, you never meant to, it just started happening. He feels the same too. And we all know how that story ends.
    It takes a lot of control to walk away, not every one can. You might not have sex, but an emotional affair as started already.
    So everyone of you, screaming I-can-never-do-it, its better to be prepared & know what stand you will take when the time comes. Because trust me its gonna happen to you, if just once (abeg read well oh, I never said u were gonna be a side chic or assistant BF oh, but life is gonna throw it ur way and the question is what are u going to do?)

    Posted by Nutella. | June 1, 2011, 1:05 pm
  80. *sigh* pple are jst hypocritical, it’s d way of our society. A man is still a man whether married or nt n 2 me his status(whether single or ‘taken’) has nothing to do with his attractiveness. It only applies in deciding whether 2 to have any sort of physical relationship with him or not.

    Posted by marie | June 1, 2011, 1:33 pm
  81. I just like objective posts. Nothing like being clearly objective in a discussion. Big ups to the Hunter. Although you can tell he’s a partisan to the group of guys that just see cheating as some sorta trivial sport between a guy and girl. I think it’s just cool he doesnt look at himself as bad nor does he disdain the people that dont cheat.

    In my opinion, if someone can give a commendable reason for doing what he/she does, and knows what he/she is doing and the possible consequences, then he/she should not be judged.

    Although, the bible (which is the only book I believe in for guidelines on any topic) frowns against adultery …. ok lemme not go on becos I just myt blaspheme ryt now…

    Bottomline, do what suits ur kind of person. Dont do something that will affect your conscience.

    Now, stepping into the circle of discussion, I actually have always agreed with the hypothesis of “tested and trusted”. Just like the same way mechanics believe tokunbo parts are “better” than brand new parts. The devil that is known is better than the devil to be known. That is not to strike off the fact that single guys will also get babes. Remember that the so-called preferred (married) man started from being single till he got a babe… either at their first shot or after several chances.

    lol @ the win-win situation comment… that was Uncle T ryt?

    Nice post.

    Posted by Radeyo | June 1, 2011, 1:38 pm
  82. oops! Did I jst drop a blog-size comment…? I thnk wordpress shld implement d 140xter limit on their comment boxes… sori guys X_X

    Posted by Radeyo | June 1, 2011, 1:42 pm
  83. Just had the same discussion with my friend. For me i dont think status has a role to play. I either find you attractive or I dont.

    Although as a taken guy you do operate from a position of “strength” cos truth be told. she’s either in or out.

    But i steer clear sha cos karma is a very bad bitch with a freaking long memory.

    Posted by ciiphii | June 1, 2011, 1:43 pm
  84. hahaha.. “Just like the same way mechanics believe tokunbo parts are “better” than brand new parts.”

    Taking into consideration the length of most of the comments on this post, we forgive you…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 1:45 pm
  85. Now thatI think about it, I’m not completely sure theres anything to this though.

    I think a guy will either find a girl hot or not. Her present status makes absolutely no difference in the equation. And why would it? Its a needless complication.

    In fact I think it would put most guys off… well maybe its just an ego thing like you said. They would ‘hit’ a taken girl, but I doubt they would carry on a relationship as a side-boy.

    As for alternatives, I think girls have more alternatives when it comes to relationships. Even girls that arent classically hot have one or two dudes on their case.

    Posted by ThinkTank | June 1, 2011, 1:45 pm
  86. ok with these comments am begining to think i need help. i have only ever dated guys inrelationships/married
    . i dont know why though but certainly not because i go after them. They are just the ones that comes around. My friend says its because i have an evil spirit while my mum says its because first glance dey see unseriousness. i rilly want to be wit someone serious but i dont meet the.

    Posted by Trust me i know | June 1, 2011, 1:46 pm
  87. see them talking about greed… the person that wants to keep a man only to herself or vice versa – are they not being greedy?

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 1, 2011, 1:47 pm
  88. Yes indeed. Karma is a bitch. And sometimes she packs a shotgun. *still laughing at rileys comment*

    Posted by ThinkTank | June 1, 2011, 1:47 pm
  89. HAHAHAHAHA! This is why Riley is my best character in Boondocks. Only Riley can talk like this. No one else!

    Posted by Radeyo | June 1, 2011, 1:49 pm
  90. DING DING DING DING… Spot freaking on…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 1:50 pm
  91. LMFAO…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 1:53 pm
  92. This is definitely the most perceptive comment here.
    In my experience,most chicks don’t start out expecting to date me or any of the married guys I know. It all starts by ‘feeling comfortable’ in our company……..

    Posted by Small Rat | June 1, 2011, 1:53 pm
  93. ok with these comments am begining to think i need help. i have only ever dated guys inrelationships/married
    . i dont know why though but certainly not because i go after them. They are just the ones that comes around. My friend says its because i have an evil spirit while my mum says its because first glance dey see unseriousness. i rilly want to be wit someone serious but i dont meet the single serious ones.

    Posted by Trust me iknow | June 1, 2011, 1:55 pm
  94. @TrustMeIKnow, let’s hook up… u can call me on 0803q50496x… or better still, contact Tula to get my details

    Posted by The Hook Up | June 1, 2011, 1:58 pm
  95. Please if I may ask Do guys also find ladies with wedding band attractive..?

    Posted by Its_peacock | June 1, 2011, 2:00 pm
  96. @riley ……buahahahahahahahahahaha…..dats gon hurt some chicks mehhhhnnnnnnn!!!!!!!

    @thetoolsman ……ds ur jazz ehnnn!!!!!!!…..*choiiiiiiiiii…..pls gv me small naaa….I ve an interview coming up soon 🙂

    Posted by ibetapassmyneighbour | June 1, 2011, 2:14 pm
  97. lool!!

    Posted by mzs_pam | June 1, 2011, 2:15 pm
  98. I don’t think the band makes the man any more or any less attractive. We cant control attraction, I’ve been attracted to married men, was very very drawn to one in particular who is much older than me and has been married like 7 years or something.
    Like Nutella said, Its not a case of I can never do it. Its how much self control you have when faced with the situation. I wont lie and say I had tremendous amounts of self control is why I escaped something I theoretically am against, no. Distance did it for me. He lives in Nigeria, we didn’t see for a looong time and eventually, attraction waned. Thankfully.

    Posted by olawunmie | June 1, 2011, 2:27 pm
  99. @ Nutella it’s all in the mind girlie! (I assume you’re a woman!). What are you even doing around a married man that you’re catching any kind of feelings and getting ’emotional?’ Close your eyes, grit your teeth and walk the hell away! No one says it’s easy, but it’s damn right doable! To be ‘relaxed’ around any kind of male specie (blood relatives excluded) is one step away from foolishness. Don’t do it! Period! End of discussion! QED!

    Posted by zanyfran | June 1, 2011, 2:28 pm
  100. Finally I get to read this post. I enjoy reading w/o commenting, however, @Radeyo’s ‘post’ got my attention. i love your perspective on this and would like to hear ur Bible view. I may jes have found someone dat thinks along the same line as I do.

    Posted by Omalicha | June 1, 2011, 2:38 pm
  101. of course, YES!

    Posted by tobi | June 1, 2011, 2:44 pm
  102. Thank You! no one plans to see a married man but see, things just happen even though no sex may be involved. Thanks nutella.. U said my mind..

    Posted by H•A•W | June 1, 2011, 2:44 pm
  103. What Kechilauren says about motive may just be right. I’ve got 3 friends who date(d) married men but all for different reasons. The first friend is presently a second wife and that ended up being her fate because she’s a sickle cell patient. The single guys who dated her ended up leaving her when they found out. So she ended up being second wife to the only guy who was able to accept her the way she was.
    The 2nd girl is about 32 and in short, she’s desperate and will settle for anyone.
    And the 3rd girl tells me married men are the most financially generous.
    I guess its all about motive. Whatever works best for anyone.

    Posted by shomade | June 1, 2011, 2:56 pm
  104. huh? Jazz? Whatchu talking about?

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 3:01 pm
  105. All U̶̲̥̅̊ denier and pretender who s goin ‘I can neva d8/b attracted 2 a married/engaged/guy in a relationship’,one word for U̶̲̥̅̊ hypo ‘BLEHHH!’ Can U̶̲̥̅̊ raise ur pinky and afta observin d protocol swear dat in ur heart(s) of hearts U̶̲̥̅̊’v neva been in dat spot?
    Lyk serzly Y’all need to park well or beta still yiwo gba BRT.tsheww..

    There’s nuffin wrong in attraction and I think gals do it basically of their insecurities,yes that and they feel they can use these M guyz as anchors.to kip dem grounded.even tho they knw it can led almost to nowhere.and sum v been searching so long for their type of guy and saw it in dem ‘taken’ guyz,what’s a gal to do,huh?

    Posted by Somegal | June 1, 2011, 3:10 pm
  106. lol @ ‘post’ X_X. Nah… for the benefit of those that learn from this blog, I try to stay away from opinions of mine that seemingly go against the teachings of the bible… I dont read it to a commensurate level of how much I respect it… that’s how much I revere the holy book.

    Posted by Radeyo | June 1, 2011, 3:20 pm
  107. Settled for being a second wife because she’s sickled celled? That is news. I guess that is a topic for another day.
    ‘What are you doing around a married man?’ That question is so funny. Let me give you an idea where u find them. That guy that is drop dead gorgeous in your office, that u happen to be working on the same project? Or the one u happen to be on the same committee with in Church/Mosque/Community project? Or your lecturer, neighbour? The one you run into at the bus stop/train station. Pls, they are everywhere & sometimes benign looking too. This blogpost (the way I see it) is asking what is your stand? Am not saying it aint doable!

    Posted by Nutella. | June 1, 2011, 3:32 pm
  108. @Radeyo is this your handle on twitter? I totally agree that some views should not be expressed publicly, lest one gets stoned for them. We need to discuss these views, it would make for an interesting discuss, albeit for open minds.

    Posted by Omalicha | June 1, 2011, 3:33 pm
  109. Radeyo I hope you’re married or in a relationship.. as this seems to be developing into a prospective experiment on the subject…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 1, 2011, 3:37 pm
  110. Funny how peeps go always dey claim say dem no fit do something, eventually naa dem dey carry first for those kain things. Then u go hear say na devil work or I couldn’t help it d heart wants what d heart wants. Mmschew.

    Posted by runawayhusband | June 1, 2011, 3:41 pm
  111. lmao @thetoolsman’s comment. your definitely right this is a good example of how these things start. For the person who said people should flee from married people, just so you know friendship develops everywhere and anywhere, irrespective of whether it gets physical or not.

    Posted by Omalicha | June 1, 2011, 3:43 pm
  112. OK! I know a few girls in this shoe! Quick one though, does Karma bother you? I have a friend dating a married guy and she’s vowed to divorce her hubby when she’s married if she finds out he cheats! I have not responded to that comment and I dont think I will for bovious reasons *sadface*

    Posted by kayshawy | June 1, 2011, 3:49 pm
  113. It’s interesting to see we have a lot of mroally upright ladies in this our generation going by the comments on this post! Toolsman you may need to expand your coverage areas o!

    We all know what is happening out there…it all starts with the ordinary consistent everyday chat and it gradually seeps into the subconscious…’emotional cheating’ and then manifests physically.

    IMO relationships like this dont often start out with I want a side chick or Assitant BF, they just happen before u know – this to all my morally upright sisters!

    Let him that thinnk he stands take heed o…e fit be you o!

    Posted by kayshawy | June 1, 2011, 4:30 pm
  114. like can we all calm down and stop judging and try to be just objective.

    i feel that people are people and we all different and therefore attracted to different things.

    it’s like kids, tell ’em not to do something and some of
    them will still go ahead and do it while some will stay clear and do just as u’ve asked.
    the ones who stay clear aren’t necessarily saints and the ones who commit the crime as it were aren’t evil either.

    we’re human and if we want summthin badly enuf we usually don’t give a fuck what the barrier is.

    does the ring or taken status attract? yes it does in a way but only if u’re already attracted to what’s wearing it. it’s a forbidden fruit thing more often than not. it’s like having sex in a public place. there’s a certain thrill to it.

    i mean simply cause the driver at your office get’s married or your mechanic gets married, it don’t make him any more attractive.

    the wedding band does add a certain perceived attribute nowadays – responsibility.

    in my opinion (by the way it’s just that – my opinion) and experience yes “taken” men seem to get women. but only those women that don’t give a fuck whether the guy has a ring or not.
    i think it might seem easier to hit on/flirt with more women knowing there’s nuthing to lose. this ease some how translates to the thot that the ring’s helping em get chicks.
    but i think these same chicks woulda still been attracted regardless.

    the ring just gets rid of most of the forming and tells the chick that this guy isn’t gonna judge me in the mornin, he’s more likely to be mature about whateva it is y’all are doing and less likely to run his mouth seeing as he is married. (after all it’s not like he wants to marry me).

    Posted by dsincity | June 1, 2011, 4:34 pm
  115. Yes, dt’s my handle on twitter… Follow me and I’ll make u fishers of men (married or single). Lol @ Tula… Maintain ur lane o, open minds need to meet in close doors 😀

    Posted by Radeyo | June 1, 2011, 4:41 pm
  116. K so I used to date married men b4,cos dey were d only men ard den,n yeah I loved the attention but I realised karma was hunting down certain pple so I decided I wud nt do such again.I asked for forgiveness and I went and sinned no more,it took a lot to part ways bt I knew I had to go my way for d sake of my future family and my life. It didn’t jst happen like that,I slowly fell into it when I became frds wit hooked men. So ladies if he s nt ur ‘blood’ relative,u ve got no biz wit a married man. U cud be seeing him n nt even knw it. I knew it was wrong bt I jst thot we were frds until I realised that all d men around me were married n not one was mine…dnt criticise me,I had enuf of self criticism myself to d extent dt I even had a dream dt if I didn’t stop I wud die. I am seein a single guy now by d way n if God has forgiven me,I dnt care abt anyone’s opinion,anyways #nuffsaid

    Posted by ℓ☺ℓ | June 1, 2011, 4:57 pm
  117. “..My girlfriend isn’t in the country so in a way I am single even though…” Arrant nonsense.

    Posted by StephanieIj | June 1, 2011, 7:03 pm
  118. YATTA!!!! FINALLY!!! I get to the end of the comments…omo mehn…una dey yarn o…hian…
    First off…altho I may not always agree with Hunter…but like Radeyo said I respect the fact that he’s real with who he is and what he does…God hates pretenders…great post…nice one for having it Tools…
    0h n yeah Radeyo I would love to hear your view on what the Bible has to say bout that topic…*rushes to twitter to hit the follow button*
    Bout the comments…God bless my nucca Riley…bwuahahahaha…I’m still laffin mehn…
    On a serious note…there are quite a few peeps that give me hope for our generation…on both sides of the argument…essentially because their approaches have been logical and objective.
    Personally I don’t think the relationship status (married or in a relationship) is the main attraction (unless you’re a demon possessed house breaker aka Jezebel spirit). Like a lotta peeps have said, I think it’s the ease most of such people have, that comes from being in a relationship, that makes it seem like they get all the babes…it’s analogous to the fact that the people who get the best jobs are people who are moving from one company to another. The security of having a fall back in case of rejection just gives you the power to cut through all the BS that you prolly would have done initially and enables you bring your A-game to the table.
    I personally have been and still am attracted to a lotta babes already in a relationship. It isn’t like I sort them out simply cos they were in relationships, that information usually comes into play later. Now while there’s a school of thought that says unless married, any babe is fair game. The hand of caution on me is the fact that should I get her to quit her relationship for me, what’s the guaranty that she won’t do the same thing to me. Like we’ve all said…Karma’s a female dog n her bite is nasty. I gotta add though that it’s getting more and more difficult to obey that hand of caution…*sigh*

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 1, 2011, 11:13 pm
  119. After everything,married guys will straff single girls,their wives will cook,take care of the kids and keep the house pretty,and single guys will always complain about the dearth of single babes.

    Posted by georgeenah | June 2, 2011, 6:52 am
  120. I left this comment below:

    “Not as much but to some extent it does. With guys, our ego might get in the way plus the fact there are quite a number of alternatives might also change things…”

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 2, 2011, 7:28 am
  121. This is true…some date married men not of the ring but wanna use him as a step higher since they don’t want to wait for God’s time. Girls are lonely and just wanna have a good time, I suppose !!! There is no clear cut formular for this issue.

    Posted by Its_peacock | June 2, 2011, 7:37 am
  122. Oh n Tools…sori for d post-length comment…omo I no kno sey e long like dis o…hian

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 2, 2011, 8:17 am
  123. Hhmmm…

    Posted by fiona | June 2, 2011, 10:04 am
  124. hem sorry are you a pastor or why do you want me to contact you? whos tula sef?

    Posted by Trust me iknow | June 2, 2011, 2:47 pm
  125. For a lot of d ladies who date ‘taken guys’, I think its just a case of someone wanting wat u can’t have. For d guys who get babes cos dey r taken, its just cos dey do d runs wit nothng to lose, and usually dats out best. Shikena.

    Posted by tobicomm | June 2, 2011, 2:50 pm
  126. *comes*

    Posted by tobicomm | June 2, 2011, 2:55 pm
  127. I have never dated a married man. Nor a ‘taken’ guy. And I’m sure I never will. Just never gonna happen. But I do flirt with them. More than I’d flirt with a single guy. Here’s why: I’m pretty, pretty blunt and quite straight-forward so if he’s gonna be my friend, I would have told him in plain words nothing is gonna happen. Most of them don’t believe but they do soon enough. After that, its just banters and jokes. Cos we both know the rules and I don’t feel d least bit sad deleting or severing ties with anyone who goes against the ‘rules’. *shrug* With a single guy however, I sometimes get self-conscious like “how’s he interpreting dis”, does he like me, and stf like that. Basically, single guys that are attracted to u or yo attracted to are sometimes hard work. I can’t move at the pace I would love with a single guy while with a married guy I can be myself and not worry he’ll think I’m too into him. He’ll knw its just jokes. And yea, I don’t share sentimental/emotional stf with him. He should get a diary or go bore his wife at home *not interested smiley*

    Thank God I don’t have friends who would rada date married men sha, cos if after I try to talk some sense into her and she’s ‘doing one kain’, it won’t take me long to ex her. Can’t have such ojukokoro behaviour around me.

    128 comments tho?? This here is a manifestation of God blessing your (literal) hustle. 😀 Nice one Tools. And Hunter (y)(y)(y)

    Posted by Venus De Mord Sith | June 2, 2011, 10:42 pm
  128. Well well if it isnt lagos hunter!wonderful write up on a seemingly hypocritical topic!karma is a bitch true!buh that’s not enough reason to stay away from married men!whether u go that route or not,your husband might/will still cheat!so more reasons anyone?!

    Posted by divadrama | June 3, 2011, 3:06 pm
  129. But is it ryt? Dats d question here…

    Posted by Chiwunma | June 4, 2011, 6:17 am
  130. *crawls up, hoping everyone’s forgotten about this post already*… She has twins now, and I still call her up, check on her kids and … oh well… *logs out*

    Posted by authorwales. | June 6, 2011, 5:37 pm
  131. See pple with different strong opinion. I don’t think we can help who we get attracted to…..its what we do about this attraction that is the issue.
    Recently followed my frnd to her church and there was this hot pastor teaching and I didn’t hear a word he said cuz he was super cute n VERY attractive…..@least he was till he mentioned something about his wife and kid and that killed whatever evil sexual thoughts I had towards him.

    I won’t date a married man cuz having grown up in a house where I know what the wife goes through just cuz her husband can’t leave it in his pants…….I don’t ever wanna be the reason for another woman’s tears….headache….and heartache

    And I also believe in karma…. The mistake most people make is thinking u can b friends with a married man…..NO u can’t be “just friends”. Esp if he’s as cool and nice as y’all say he is!
    Go find ur frnds sumwhere else…. There are a lot of single wayward guys looking for frnds like u!

    Posted by teepikin | June 11, 2011, 4:56 am
  132. Buhahaha @Riley’s comment hahaha
    Nahh but u GOT riley!
    I’ve spoken to a lot of girls on this issue and u guys won’t believe even girls have started using the ‘ there are more guys in the world than girls’ line.. Hence (I think), a lot of girls don’t care about the band anymre.. Trust me there aare a lot of single girls and most are Desperate to bag a man.

    Posted by isha | June 13, 2011, 3:48 pm

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