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Wednesday Dialogue

Obianuju

Hey everyone. First of, if you haven’t gotten your nominations in for the Nigerian Blogger Awards, please do so here: NOMINATE. Today’s post was inspired by members of #TeamSawaleh (don’t ask). Some of y’all who follow me on twitter might have noticed my erm… ‘seeming’ obsession with the song titled ‘Obianuju’ for the past couple of weeks. Well, every time I hear the song playing, this is what comes to my mind:

She is tall with keen features. The lips of a goddess. The daughter of Venus in brown skin. A soft voice that is like the singing of angels. Distinctive feminine curves that are generous but not excessive. She has the kind of beauty that is confusing. Her looks and her background just don’t add up.

Knowledge is our salvation but it can also be our enemy. Our joint quest for knowledge has brought us to this point of sinful discovery. People see me as the epitome of righteousness, carefully selected. Faultless. Forever pristine and holy in every situation. But sometimes the most righteous among us lose the ability to reason when it comes to the opposite sex.

Loneliness is a solute.

My solute.

I have found my solvent in her touch.

Arousal.

The weakness of man.

So easily achieved by the stimulation of senses. Touch being the most dominant. She gave me her body to worship and I bowed at her altar, pleased her like I was on trial and her pleasure or lack of was the verdict. Her salvation has left me imprisoned. Every time I see her, I want to dip into her well of passion. Take her to that place where our souls dance together. Where we float like dancers suspended above the rest of the world.

There is pleasure in giving pleasure, in not being selfish; but she won’t let me please her in sixty nine ways as this knowledge is still strange to her. My missionary to her world has left us in a position of missionary. The deliverer has become the delivered. She won’t confess to it but I know she has been trained to believe it is her prerogative to exert pleasure. And she is so good at it she should include it in her non-existing resume.
Bold
Italics
Underlined
Twice.

However, the intimacy I seek is beyond my bedroom. I watch, sadly as she walks away, carrying dishes looking ever so uxorial. Her hips swaying, moving rhythmically to the sounds of an invisible orchestra.

Obianuju: She who has come in the midst of plenty.
She seems to take her ‘plenty’ away with her when she leaves; managing to transition me from common sense to insanity.

Sanity however taps me on my shoulder moments later as I hear the familiar knock on my door.
“Come in.”
Sister Esther gently pushes the door open, walks into my room and almost instinctively shouts:
“Obianuju!”
In the thickest of igbo accents.
“Obianuju! Nwelu aka gi anwa nwulu anwu bia fichaa table Father Francis”.
(Obianuju bring that your dirty hand here and come and clean Father Francis’ table.”)

************************
I know this piece has quite a few talking points but for me, the thought of seeking/finding ‘love’ in strange places has always amazed me. Memoirs of the Prince and the pauper.. Schwarzenegger-gate etc.. I’m not one to encourage infidelity (in any form) but what if that rich tycoon will find true happiness with that maid? Other talking points include temptation and that other thing I won’t mention. Please use the comment box to share your thoughts. Cheers.

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About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman

Discussion

69 thoughts on “Obianuju

  1. Yaay!

    Posted by babykomarol | June 8, 2011, 9:01 am
  2. Asanwa Asanwa baby!!

    Posted by kechilauren | June 8, 2011, 9:03 am
  3. I think I’d much rather wait and see what everybody has to say about this…
    As usual though, beautiful post Tula.

    Posted by The Capoeira Panda | June 8, 2011, 9:05 am
  4. A link to the song would have nailed it sha….I’m loving the twist between sixty nine and missionary and father Francis..hmmm! Love in strange places to me would seem more like a fairy tale that would fade with time. The pressures of the society sometimes could be overwhelming….oh well!

    Posted by kayshawy | June 8, 2011, 9:08 am
  5. Y am I not first?
    Wat other ‘thing’ won’t u mention?

    Posted by @deevagal | June 8, 2011, 9:08 am
  6. dont i just know all about finding love in strange places….
    the societal pressure can be truly overwhelming.
    in the lack of approval from siblings,
    raised eyebrows from neighbours,
    and outright rejection by the parentals…..
    Sometimes, its the moment that u had when no one knew about it, thats d best.
    and sometimes, the memories of it will be all that u’re left with.
    Memories of the love that got away……..

    Posted by oluwatosin | June 8, 2011, 9:16 am
  7. “…she won’t let me please her in sixty nine ways as this knowledge is still strange to her. My missionary to her world has left us in a position of missionary.” «- hehe, love the word play.
    Well, um. Okay. So, Obianuju is like the maid, right? I don’t understand why married women will hire hot maids and expect they’re husbands to not notice the babe is hot. Also, there’s the thing about most women being too busy trying to be ‘independent’ from their husbands, forming working class and all that. I’m not against women with jobs oh! I’m just saying when you took those vows, you gave up your independence. No woman should ever be too busy (or tired) for her husband, lest he seek comfort elsewhere.
    I’m not entirely sure if that’s what this post is about, but that’s what I got from it sha.

    Posted by cecenostockings | June 8, 2011, 9:18 am
  8. ‘…she won’t let me please her in sixty nine ways as this knowledge is still strange to her.my missionary to her world has left us in a position of missionary’…Deep.extremely deep.I had no idea a Father was suppose to knw dis.lol.sha,sha nice write up.I pity d guy o.there is such a thing as doomed luv. Yes,luv and unexpected circumstances.y else will a dog fall in luv wit a cat?

    Posted by Somegal | June 8, 2011, 9:18 am
  9. I like this version of humanness. The male type.
    Obianuju seems to be our pure pleasure in a rusted can.
    Obianuju, the one we might never completely own, the one first kiss I shall never forget, the one dirty dance who would not tell me her name, the one this and that.

    We seem to want the idea of her, more than we want her, for in the world of our reality, she can never be.
    She’s the goddess of our insanity.

    Obianuju!

    Posted by AfroSays | June 8, 2011, 9:20 am
  10. love it! love it!! love it!!!!!! Father Francis is a very naughty somborri

    Posted by mz_teee | June 8, 2011, 9:21 am
  11. Hmmm…

    Abstract…

    Quite esoteric…

    Needs a second read…

    F.

    Posted by @FoluShaw | June 8, 2011, 9:22 am
  12. Written like a true writer… spot on..

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 9:22 am
  13. This is an amazing write up…. Beautifully scripted. I very much like the line….”My missionary to her world has left us in a position of missionary”. Thumbs up!

    Posted by @sugardoe10 | June 8, 2011, 9:23 am
  14. hahaha.. nice analogy… it happens tho…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 9:23 am
  15. Interesting opinion.. thanks..

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 9:25 am
  16. got away or never ‘really’ happened?

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 9:25 am
  17. Ah!is father francis loving obianuju? If that is the case, then no comment.

    But yeah,love is sometimes found in the strangest of places,infact,in forbidden places but as humans I believe we have to weigh our options before embarking on that path of forbidden love.
    Tools,pls what’s the other thing you won’t mention?

    Posted by mabijo | June 8, 2011, 9:26 am
  18. Esoteric?… well.. maybe the extremely creative will catch a thing or two most might not but I think most people will at least get something from it…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 9:28 am
  19. Well-written as usual… Father Francis had better leave the Priesthood so that he can take care of his needs… I’m interested in #TeamSawaleh tho

    Posted by Nelly | June 8, 2011, 9:31 am
  20. Ghen ghen! Some shakespearean tinz! iLove!

    Posted by Sandie Pandie | June 8, 2011, 9:34 am
  21. *mouth opens* hmmmm….erhm…*mouth closes*….*scratches head* *walks away confused*

    Posted by freshprinz | June 8, 2011, 9:35 am
  22. Toolsman, this post in my opinion contains more than a significant measure of generalizations & stereotyping and I am unable to tell if it was deliberate.

    – Finding love else where when one is in a committed relationship doesn’t automatically translate into infidelity.

    – While I respect how the ‘Obianuju’ song appeals to you, I fail to grasp why/how it conjures the image of a beautiful girl who is ‘socially inferior’ to you or the male character in your prose. I totally understand these things to be personal.

    – Your choice of a priest as your male character (and subtle reference to Schwarzenegger) subtly forces the discerning reader to form his/her opinion based on the ongoing and past scandals of Tiger Woods/ Dominique Strauss-Kahn/ Schwarzenegger/Bill Clinton, etc. Was this your original intention? If yes, then you did it brilliantly.

    All in all, I found this post derogatory in more ways than one………

    Posted by lagoshunter | June 8, 2011, 9:36 am
  23. “Finding love elsewhere when one is in a committed relationship doesnt automatically translate into infidelity…………”

    Finding love elsewhere at all, doesnt make you a bad person.

    sometimes, these things just happen.

    Posted by oluwatosin | June 8, 2011, 9:46 am
  24. sigh.. ok ok you caught me.. but derogatory tho? .. how?

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 9:47 am
  25. sigh…..ok ok maybe derogatory was too strong a word……..

    Posted by lagoshunter | June 8, 2011, 10:06 am
  26. better…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 10:08 am
  27. Another brilliant one by Toolsman

    The way I see it, I don’t think Sis Esther’s negligence of her marital role is what caused Fr. Francis’ lust for Obianuju. I think it’s the innocence the girl has. She’s still mint (well, relatively), untainted by the mechanisms of this world (her eye never open) and that she has only known Francis, no other man. That purity is what men want, the object of their lust. That purity and innocence is what makes her a ‘goddess’. That’s the reason for the fire in his loins, the object of his infatuation. I say infatuation ’cause I don’t believe it’s love. My 2 pence!!

    Posted by wordsofanaries | June 8, 2011, 10:13 am
  28. Hmm. I have never before heard the subject song, and for the first time, i actually feel deprived. What a muse!
    Poor Father Francis. Poor Obianuju.
    I was gonna post somthing similar to this today,but….ah well. I guess i’ll go write sth else.

    (y)!

    Posted by slim | June 8, 2011, 10:38 am
  29. “Loneliness is a solute.

    My solute.

    I have found my solvent in her touch.

    Arousal.

    The weakness of man.”

    Deep mehn…just deep. This is a side of The Toolsman that doesn’t come out to play very often. Great piece bruv…I must admit I had to read it twice to fully grasp the undertones…and even then…

    First off…like someone already commented…Father Francis can like to leave his “collar” and go and take care of his “needs”…after all “She seems to take her ‘plenty’ away with her when she leaves; managing to transition me from common sense to insanity.” we wouldn’t wanna keep him in a Yaba-left-ish state would we.

    On finding love in strange places…@Afrosays said it in a manner better than anything I can come up with…it lures us…like a moth to a flame…we know it isn’t right for us…but ultimately we are powerless to the pull…it is insanity…but we don’t care…until we have satisfied our hunger.
    wait…did I jus say that…*shrug*…

    oh n yeah…go #TeamSawaleh y’all *starts playing the Theme Song* hehehehehe

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 8, 2011, 10:45 am
  30. Hmmmmmmm…..finding love in strange places???? A Rev Fr and his maid…I can’t find the correlation here….

    All I see is Lust, indiscipline, deceit and stupidity!
    If u can’t hold body…y wud u join d priesthood??? This is sad because these things happen…and as always in can relate with this!

    Reminds me of the Rev Fr who I stayed with when I wanted to receive the sacrament of Holy communion… It wasn’t easy..I had to move out to the convent till I went home….

    Its really irritating..tho we act like ds stuffs don’t happen but they really do….since my experience I never went to any priest for confession…I cudnt even confess with the priest…how can I???

    Am fucking pissed now!

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | June 8, 2011, 11:00 am
  31. So you capture some sort of “beauty” in the forbidden with your poetic interplay of words… The average mind does not necessarily see this. It’s just the thought of having something that shouldn’t be yours…

    But the time ALWAYS comes when all these fantasies die away. Reality and the cold slap of consequences. And you just have to wonder what the point was. If there should’ve been a point.

    And no, this is not love.

    Posted by Glory | June 8, 2011, 11:06 am
  32. It’s all getting a bit confusing……so what exactly is infidelity?

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 8, 2011, 11:18 am
  33. There is this thing called Temptation,ii believe dat was what d Fr experienced and heck,he’s only human even Jesus Christ was tempted. The flesh can only take so much.the only thing dat counts is how we deal with it.and why all d talk about matrimony,fathers dnt get shackled so this father can’t b an exceptiion,this s a case of forbidden passion

    Posted by thisgal | June 8, 2011, 11:23 am
  34. “She gave me her body to worship and I bowed at her altar, pleased her like I was on trial and her pleasure or lack of was the verdict. Her salvation has left me imprisoned. Every time I see her, I want to dip into her well of passion”,
    this to me is like fine wine. Truthfully,I’m not averse to finding love in strange places, my happiness(& sumtyms lust)is paramount. *goingBacktoVote”

    Posted by gchild01 | June 8, 2011, 12:11 pm
  35. Wait, what, a catholic Priest though? What does a Reverend Father know about people looking uxorial, seeing as he’s never had any experience of marriage?

    @Cece and Wordsofanaries, this isn’t about sis. Esther neglecting her marital roles or not, she isn’t married to the priest, last I checked, priests forgo that pleasure.

    I know this post isn’t supposed to be religious but it greatly offends my sensibilities. Fiction or not, painting a picture which portrays a Reverend as some horny man lusting after the help just doesn’t cut it for me, and this has nothing to do with finding love in strange places. All your subject was interested in was Obianuju’s body and ways of worshiping it.

    Posted by chinnydiva | June 8, 2011, 12:15 pm
  36. @chinnydiva like I said, that’s what I got from the post. Been reading it over and over, and I’m still not entirely sure what the focus is (I mean besides Obi’s body).
    And priests, ‘can’ get married. If they choose to. However, I understand how you might be offended by the priest’s role in this write up if you are catholic by faith. Not to fan the flames, but I know (from personal experience) that some priests are indeed quite horny. Fortunately, some know where to draw the line.

    Posted by cecenostockings | June 8, 2011, 12:22 pm
  37. I tried to think of something really intellectualy stimulating to say but…*shrugs*
    Have to say though the ‘solute’, ‘solvent’ part of it is my favorite. As usual Lagoshunter presents an angle I didn’t really pay attention to…..stereotypes- but I wonder, stereotypes are there ‘cos the world keeps proving them right no?
    Really good stuff all round! 😀

    Posted by jAyajade | June 8, 2011, 12:24 pm
  38. Do the words ‘holy fack’ come into play here? Bye…

    Posted by Kelvin | June 8, 2011, 12:25 pm
  39. Now the guns are coming out…I hope we can contain it before it degenerates into a mini religious war!

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 8, 2011, 12:29 pm
  40. hmm.. I trust Sister Glory … there’s always a point.. for some of us who don’t live lives of regret.. theres always a lesson to learn from every experience.. yes, even the negative ones..

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 12:58 pm
  41. just run o.. let them not catch you..

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 12:59 pm
  42. Amen to this…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 12:59 pm
  43. Love in strange places! Indeed.

    Posted by robyn | June 8, 2011, 1:05 pm
  44. Erm.. Sister Chinny, I refuse to be dragged into this monster however, I’d just like to state clearly that religion aside, Father Francis is a man like any other besides, the post can be likened to an anagram.. can you actually say the Father had anything ‘physical’ with Obianuju?

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 1:06 pm
  45. correction @cece priests cannot get married. Well, it won’t be valid because the path they take to the priesthood does not allow it…and the Church doesn’t allow it.

    Priests do get horny. For fuck’s sakes their decision to join the priesthood does not stop them from being human. The only thing I’ll take from your comment is the part where you said “Fortunately, some know where to draw the line”. Drawing the line is key, but obviously not easy.

    Posted by awizii | June 8, 2011, 1:09 pm
  46. hmmm…okay. An anagram it is then, word play has always been your forte in any case.

    Posted by chinnydiva | June 8, 2011, 1:28 pm
  47. Nice post. iLike.. had to read Twice

    Posted by H.A.W | June 8, 2011, 1:34 pm
  48. “When I think about the things you do… Somethings dey tell me to marry you”… I love this song too.!

    Love in strange places… I can so relate with that. D 69 comment sha… *side-eye*. Ok Bye 🙂

    Posted by crystalclearwords | June 8, 2011, 1:39 pm
  49. Anglican priest do get married but catholic priest don’t.
    Dear @ Chinny, whether we like it or not some priest are randy. I know of many dear but just as d bible says “touch not my anointed” I won’t say more.

    Posted by hello | June 8, 2011, 1:39 pm
  50. Well, I’m not going to say I’m an expert or anything. But, I was a catholic and the Reverend father at our parish was married.

    Posted by cecenostockings | June 8, 2011, 1:43 pm
  51. Ok I stand corrected, priests are not allowed to marry but that doesn’t stop them from having carnal desires. U can be offended bcus sm1 of such religious authority is painted as a mere man, but at the end of the day, guess what, he is. A priest gets horny too. He gets up with a morning wood.

    And the last time I checked, I said it was my 2 pence. How u can tell sm1 what opinion they’re supposed 2 form is beyond me. Aunty,take a deep breath, it’s not that serious. Yea I said it, Fr n Sis Esther once did d nasty, so what?

    Posted by wordsofanaries | June 8, 2011, 1:46 pm
  52. Toolsman, clap for yourself.
    Since I started reading your blog, I haven’t see you manipulate your readers so deftly.

    It is very clear this isn’t about love yet you say it is.
    Why does an ‘Obianuju’ have to be a socially disadvantaged girl? Why not just an everyday girl?
    What is the role of Esther in the story? See how some people think she is the priest’s wife even when it is clear this is not possible?
    Why a priest not just an average ordinary everyday guy?

    What is the purpose using characters that are extreme in nature?

    At one point it appears they’ve had sex and at other points it is obvious they haven’t or aren’t even likely to.

    Toolsman, this might be deep to those who like to see depth in everything they can’t understand but it isn’t to me.
    It is simply a story of contradictions and stereotypes………

    Posted by lagoshunter | June 8, 2011, 1:47 pm
  53. Brother Tula *insert tongue-out smiley here* I was going to include a line about not living lives of regret which by the way, is something I do. But while I may not regret, it doesn’t stop me from wondering what the point in doing certain things is, especially when the end results are quite predictably disastrous. Learning lessons is by the way.

    Posted by Glory | June 8, 2011, 1:52 pm
  54. hmmm….interestingly enough I agree with Glory.

    Posted by awizii | June 8, 2011, 1:57 pm
  55. hahahahaha…. get out of my head…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 2:21 pm
  56. Considering the fact that he has already thought these things, he might as well engage in them cos *in a certain man of God’s voice* it is written- that the thought is as good as the action! Why Francis wan carry last na….I’d rather he leaves that parish or post Uju elsewhere DEATH TO FLESH n tins x_x that He might be able to execute his spiritual assignment which he was called out for. #IMO

    Nice post Toolsman (y) 🙂

    Posted by oye | June 8, 2011, 2:39 pm
  57. “There is pleasure in giving pleasure, in not being selfish; but she won’t let me please her in sixty nine ways as this knowledge is still strange to her. My missionary to her world has left us in a position of missionary” – Can anyone convince me that this was just thoughts? The priest donedidit!

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 8, 2011, 2:46 pm
  58. lol… you’re just a trouble maker.. ever heard of ‘vivid imaginations’?

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 3:06 pm
  59. abi o…of which com Tula…how does a priest know about “69” n “missionary” if he’s never done it…oya explain dat one….

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 8, 2011, 3:24 pm
  60. Nice one,good choice of words to lead you in a certain direction. A bit confusing at d end though. Nice one overall

    Posted by folorunso | June 8, 2011, 3:28 pm
  61. erm.. can I just ask one question? What’s the max age allowed for boys who want to join the seminary?

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 8, 2011, 3:28 pm
  62. Hmmmmmm…. #thatisall

    Posted by Domina | June 8, 2011, 5:37 pm
  63. Am I the only one who had a headache after reading this? And then these comments…
    Abeg, who would like to take my spot on #TeamSawaleh? I resign…

    NOT!!!

    :p

    *now reciting* Father Francis From France Fried Five Fresh Fish…..

    Posted by Olatoxic | June 8, 2011, 5:59 pm
  64. Hmmn…gud qstn…I will need to research dat…so by implication Father was a badt guy once upon a time…hmmn…issorai

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 8, 2011, 7:29 pm
  65. I’ve forgotten my comment..eiya..but I know it had a nice theme.

    Posted by loisssss | June 9, 2011, 2:38 am
  66. hmmmm….who’s this impostor? there’s only one Domina in this binsh. *side eye*

    Posted by chinnydiva | June 9, 2011, 7:17 am
  67. correction…father was a bad boy….btw, i thought they were allowed to visit their families occasionally while they’re still in the seminary…..plenty of time to learn a few things….

    Posted by freshprinz | June 9, 2011, 11:22 am
  68. dem plenty o. no dey deceive urself. btw, someone has taken ur spot on my wanted list sef. Another hot dominatrix….d real dominatrix….:D

    Posted by freshprinz | June 9, 2011, 11:26 am
  69. o_0 I had a spot? hmmmmm…naa! you don’t deal dominas…you prefer ‘babies’ has been proven time and again :p

    Posted by DOMINATRIX | June 9, 2011, 1:06 pm

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