Hey people. Start of another week and despite my ridiculously short weekend, I’ve decided to remain positive. So I was going through so of my old posts and I realized I had done two quite similar posts in the past. One on ‘what women want‘ and another on ‘what a girl needs‘. I began to wonder why I hadn’t done a similar post on men and the first answer that came to mind was maybe because there’s this general assumption as regards what men want from the opposite sex. Ask most women and even some men and their answers will probably not vary much. The world has stereotyped the wants of men when it comes to the opposite sex to mostly physical. If that’s the case and the world knows what we want from women, so what then don’t we want?
Most of lastweek I spent my very little free time re-reading Malcolm Gladwells Outliers (excellent read for those who haven’t read it) and this book always gets me wondering about the powers of statistics. Now some of the findings in the book are results of years and years of research carried out on thousands of people. As much as I would love to do that, I really don’t have the time.. well.. and the money. So I decided to take my chances with yet another no-so-survey. I rounded up three very vocal and opinionated young men from different backgrounds and I asked them one question:
What are the top five things that put you off a woman in their order of importance?
These were their answers:
5. Inability to hold an intelligent conversation: I like to talk a lot, about anything and everything. So its important that she’s able to match that. I’m not asking for a know-it-all (Olorunmaje), I just want a girl who knows how to express herself when she’s got an opinion or shut up, listen & occasionally chip in when she doesn’t.
4. Sense of style (Fashion-wise): I’m not asking for a Gucci, Louis, Prada Hoochie. No sir, clothes (handbags & shoes) don’t make the lady.. I believe the key factor here isn’t the tag but the lady wearing them.
3. Sense of humour: If you can watch a whole episode of Seinfeld & your lips don’t even curve even a wee little bit then you’ve lost me. I’m sorry but Basketmouth don’t count. You’ve lost me.
2. Sexual Orientation: I’m not asking if you’re gay or straight. I want to know what your opinion on sex is and honestly I’d like to know what your sexual appetite is like. Not asking if you’re ‘gonna bang’ either.
1. Clingy Babes: You’re bored and I’m busy at the office but you think I should chat with you via BBM all day??? #Jonzing.
5. Speech: major turn off if she cannot speak properly. I’m talking eloquence, diction and use of vocabulary. Pronunciation also. Don’t want to be talking to a girl that pronounces “teeth” as “theet” or “throat” as “troth”.
4. Hygiene: body odor or mouth odor or both.
3. Appearance: I love stylish girls that know how to dress and know what outfit is best for their body and not wear the wrong stuff cause it’s in vogue. Makes them look out of place. Big tummy and no hips? Drop the high waisted skirt.
2. Overly dependent: Big NO!
1. And most importantly…. Feet. That’s what I use to judge. If you ain’t got good looking feet or well taken care of ones… it turns me off.
5. Emotionless: well, this only applies when things are serious… The inability to express feelings and/or desires physically or otherwise ticks me off!
4. No goal(s): if I discover you’re just a ‘anywhere belle face’ chic, all about eateries and shopping! No plans for life… I can’t
3. No humor: if she’s not spot on with my jokes, retorts or comments and I have to explain or I notice she’s not sharp enough to understand.
2. Artificialness (for lack of a better word): Any girl that can’t be comfy without the plastic things, fake lashes, nails..All Fake everything etc…nope!
1. Her voice: I enjoy conversation, so if your voice ain’t worth hearing, I shut down.
PS: I didn’t mention beauty, this is because, for me, its the FIRST deal-breaker. If u haven’t got that, we can’t even get here!
Now, if you take a good look at the three responses, you’ll notice that some things stand out.
Sense of Style/Artificalness/Appearance –> Appearance
Clingy Babes/Overly Dependent/No goals –> Dependence
Sense of humour/No humour –> Humour
Now, I also asked some of my friends this same question and though I didn’t document their answers, I realized there was a pattern. The men of my generation were particular about their women’s appearance. They wanted them to exhibit some measure of independence and they wanted women who could not only relate with their sense of humour but also bring on the laughter from time to time.
I’m glad Kelvin added that last bit to his response because that’s assumed to be a constant. This discovery was however surprising to me and I could branch out from here into several theories but that would require more discussion and surveys. Until I can amass that much time and money, I’d have to rely on you guys. For the guys, I’d like your answer to the same question. If you agree with the guys I interviewed then simply express your opinion as per why you think the three things I highlighted really stood out. For the ladies, please don’t be left out, do you think the guys were being completely honest? Use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.
PS: If you missed the poll from yesterday, please check it here.