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Wednesday Dialogue

Choice vs. Life

This is a true story.

Sophia: Born as the 5th child in a family of 3 boys and 3 girls. A university graduate. Born and bred in one of Nigeria’s big cities.

Jerome: Nigerian Father and Spanish mother. Lost his mother at the age of 15, His only blood sister resides in Europe and he has not seen her in over 8 years. Jerome stopped speaking to his dad 2 years ago.

I can’t really remember how we met but I do know it was within the first weeks of our lives as university undergraduates. He said to me his first impression of me was that I looked like someone who couldn’t wait to join a cult. Jerome was easily any girl’s eye candy. He was 6ft 5’, with a shaggy hair and lean body frame. For the next 6 years, Jerome became my roommate and eventually my best friend. Most of my good and bad university memories have Jerome in them.

Sophia was a jambite like us when Jerome met her. A wheelbarrow by itself is useless. You have to push it for it to become useful. My friend Jerome, was a wheelbarrow and Sophia was his pusher. Because of his estranged relationship with his dad, Jerome practically hustled his way through school with a lot of financial support from Sophia. Soon after graduation, Sophia realised she was pregnant. Sophia and Jerome decided to get married before the child was born and then relocate to the US.

4 months later.

Sophia comes crying to me. She says she believes she’s making a mistake by keeping the pregnancy and marrying Jerome because in 4 months he had done absolutely nothing towards their plan of getting married and relocating to the US. She was considering an abortion but was scared and asked me “If I was your sister and in this situation what would you advice?” and I said to Sophia “I would tell my sister to have an abortion and I think you should too.”

Sophia made a decision to have an abortion the following day but she didn’t because Jerome convinced her otherwise.

5 months later.

Sophia and Jerome get married under makeshift conditions and she delivers a baby boy soon after. I was asked to be his God Father.

6 years later.

Sophia is 5 months pregnant with their second child and she is living in the US in an abusive home with Jerome and their son whom they had named Dominic. In terrible pains and for the fear that she might get killed; Sophia runs out of the house and calls the police. Since moving to the US, their squabbles had gotten worse. One day,  she and Jerome had a fight and despite her pregnancy, he beat her mercilessly. The police show up and Sophia kicks Jerome out of the house and is taken to the hospital in an ambulance.

24 hours later.

Sophia is in labour. She gives birth to a baby girl that had to be incubated for 4 months because her organs where underdeveloped. With no husband and father in sight, the medical bills bankrupt her. The baby girl is named Crystal.

1 year later.

Nobody knows where Jerome is but he is in touch with friends via email. Jerome denies his daughter flat out. Sophia is out of a job. Her financial situation deteriorated rapidly and she soon begins to live off the charity of her church. 18 months later, she gets tired, asks her church for one last favour, a ticket home for her and her kids.


Sophia is 32 years old with two kids, no husband, no job and seriously overweight. She cries every time we talk on the phone. I send her money regularly but it can only go so far. I have not spoken to Jerome in over 5 years and nobody really knows where he is or what he is up to but we all doubt if he is better off. He has never seen or touched his daughter who is a splitting image of her brother who is naturally a splitting image of his father.

Do I look at my Godson and feel guilt that I once advised his mother to terminate her pregnancy of him?


But most times I look at the bigger and sadder picture and feel absolutely no guilt but loads of anger. Dominic and Crystal deserve a better life. It doesn’t matter how life turns out eventually for them, I strongly believe their parents were very selfish and immature 12 years ago. No child deserves to be born out of his parents’ guilt or religious fear. An abortion is a routine medical procedure and no big deal if performed under the right conditions. This is just one of many sad stories; I am yet to hear one with a happy ending.

My name is Lagoshunter, I am an unapologetically pro abortion.

Hey people. It’s going to be a touchy one today. Up until now I avoided this topic but after reading a comment from last Friday’s post, I knew the time was right. Mr. Hunter has painted one of many scenarios that brings us to that question: Where do you fall? Pro-Life or Pro-Choice. Don’t just pick a side, tell us why. Use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.

About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman


339 thoughts on “Choice vs. Life

  1. First!!!*scrolls up to read*

    Posted by doynoyesanmi | June 22, 2011, 9:02 am
  2. 😀

    Posted by Son1aO | June 22, 2011, 9:02 am
  3. Someone can’t even b 1st*hiss*

    Posted by miszliz | June 22, 2011, 9:03 am
  4. Pro-Life.

    Posted by S.Charles | June 22, 2011, 9:06 am
  5. I’m pro – choice all day everyday.

    Posted by adesuwao | June 22, 2011, 9:06 am
  6. 1.I wouldn’t sleep /have sex with a man who would deny my baby/i know is not ready to face the consequences of our trysts.now and in university,girls dealt with postinor and condoms.
    Sophia sadly shouldv known that Jerome was no no-gooder.check out that his family history,help him but not in his bed.
    2.if the baby enters and the father no want am,kindly and safely take it out.there are good doctors who do it safely and preserve your future fecundity.25k these days starting price.good antibiotics.everything safely done.
    3.if you keep the baby please realise that you are not obligated to marry the father..it is your choice.
    4.I suggest we hang Jerome to save him from doing so himself in 10years time
    5.if your pregnancy is under 4weeks.I can help you take it out.

    Posted by dr lois | June 22, 2011, 9:08 am
  7. Wow, just wow, I have so much to say, but I shall keep it in. Very good point though… I’m still pro-life, If my mother wasn’t pro-life I wouldn’t be here, and same goes for one of my nephews… so I’m forever pro-life, abortions take courage and to keep a baby takes even more. God be with everyone who has to make such a decision. I wanna ask though, taking pills is not abortion is it?

    Posted by Son1aO | June 22, 2011, 9:09 am
  8. Pro-choice,one has to be realistic enough to make right decisions for themselves.

    Posted by doynoyesanmi | June 22, 2011, 9:10 am
  9. Its weird that none of us ever think of asking the child whether he/she wants to live or not. Please! Keep away from sex until your ready to handle the consequences. Why? Because let’s face it, we can choose our actions but not the consequences. Abortion is going too far. Why not a condom? Or abstinence? Why get to the stage of judging whether a human like you has to live or not? My post on my blog seems now to have been prophetic. Was put up yesterday. Please check it out.

    Posted by highlandblue | June 22, 2011, 9:12 am
  10. Yes. You can check it out by just clicking on my name.

    Posted by highlandblue | June 22, 2011, 9:12 am
  11. No it is’nt.

    Posted by doynoyesanmi | June 22, 2011, 9:15 am
  12. Abortion. I’m on the wall. I believe the decision to terminate or keep a pregnancy should be based on the following factors:
    1) Circumstances surrounding the pregnancy. (Rape and stuff like that)
    2) Is the pregnancy a threat to your health?
    3) Are you ready for a child? This is really sensitive, because there’s a lot to consider. Will you quit school, or take a break? If the father doesn’t want the child can you take care of you and him/her alone? Are you emotionally and mentally ready for the responsibilities?

    There’s some other stuff I can’t remember now. Sha, deciding whether or not to keep a child should be YOUR choice after a thorough self-assessment. You can ask for advice and opinions, but the choice is ultimately yours. The child is in your womb, and not somebody else’s.

    Sad story though. The children really do deserve better.

    Posted by cecenostockings | June 22, 2011, 9:17 am
  13. Got a similar story but too emotional to share. Abortion should be legal, its sad but it should be legal.

    Posted by kk | June 22, 2011, 9:17 am
  14. This is an issue I’m quite passionate about. What I tell my friends when it comes up is that I can’t bring a child into this world when I know I won’t be able to give that child the best of this world. If you want to keep the baby then you should be prepared in all aspects. It hurts me when I hear of females who abandon their children in d bin after carrying for 9 months, leaving the child in a church or at someone’s door is better but something I’d rather not do.

    Posted by Jasmine | June 22, 2011, 9:18 am
  15. Terminating Dominic’s life would have been selfish as well, no?

    You have never carried a baby in your womb so calling abortion ‘a routine medical procedure’ is ignorant and superficial.

    Like you said, this is just one of many sad stories BUT i have heard stories with similar beginnings and not just happy but GREAT endings.

    There are other routes. Adoption, for example.

    My name is ‘Dania, and I am unabashedly pro life.

    Posted by 'Dania | June 22, 2011, 9:18 am
  16. slightly off topic bt iv always been amused wen pple say “beat her mercilessly” as if dere is a merciful way of beating someone.
    As to the pro life v pro choice argument, i personally im pro life, however im wise enough not to judge ne1 dt chooses d oda option cos i know circumstances dt cn push some1 to decide to terminate and all i do is pray never to be in dt situation where i av to be faced with making dat choice. On a more personal note, my sis is a doctor who happens to be AS and got married to a guy dat is also AS when she gets pregnant, she has do some test to check d genotype of d baby n if its SS dey av to do an abortion (i knw dere is a fancy medical term 4 it) neway she has done dt twice n is blessed with a beautiful AA baby gal n another AS baby on the way. she cld av been self righteous n attempted to give birth to an SS child, bt dose of us dt have SS friends know how much they suffer n iv even heard a friend blame her parents for giving birth to her. So as i said earlier all i can do is pray everything goes according to plan n i never av to mke dt choice n at 25 (0abortions), so far so good.

    Posted by JUDGEMENTAL CHICK | June 22, 2011, 9:19 am
  17. This post struck a very raw chord…I was gonna respond with another true but decided to turn it into a post instead…
    For the records I’m very pro-life….

    Posted by freshprinz | June 22, 2011, 9:20 am
  18. Pro-Life.
    The children still have a possibly great future.
    An abortion is really just a temporary solution.
    As in, it only solves the immediate problem.
    She probably would have had another baby for him.

    Posted by shawlarchitunde | June 22, 2011, 9:20 am
  19. same principle no?

    Posted by JCphoenixx | June 22, 2011, 9:22 am
  20. Why can’t we ask the child if it wants to be dropped in a gutter or better still starve to death,if I fall victim of such(which would never happen)I won’t allow any off spring of mine to be brought into this world of hate and shame.

    Posted by doynoyesanmi | June 22, 2011, 9:25 am
  21. the second you stop seeing the choices in front of you, you start living like a prisoner….

    never constrict yourself to the fact that having an abortion is wrong, and im not saying its right, im just saying you have a choice, stay looking at the bigger picture, it is infact your life first and foremost.

    Posted by Zara | June 22, 2011, 9:27 am
  22. hmmmm, touching story. i am pro-choice o,though prevention is d best, condoms and pills work, but if one finds herself in such situations, if she can’t on her own ,fend for herself n d baby if the man messes up, its best for her to do the needful.But i feel one shld be able to handle the responsibilities of having sex and whatever comes out of it. i also agree with Dr lois, u dnt have to marry a man just cos u got pregnant for him, never turns out well in d long run (in most cases). Lagoshunter, nice one. (Y)

    Posted by dammydiva | June 22, 2011, 9:28 am
  23. Hmmmmmmn *taking a deep breath* there’s so much to say on this issue. And I dnt even know where to start from
    All I know is life is ALL about planning and making decisions.

    Posted by kankey | June 22, 2011, 9:29 am
  24. Pills prevent the sperm from fertilizing the egg,so there is actually no foetus,no crime in that.

    Posted by doynoyesanmi | June 22, 2011, 9:29 am
  25. nope, the pill stops conception, an abortion removed an already fertilized egg….

    Posted by Zara | June 22, 2011, 9:29 am
  26. Temporary solution eh? Like she kills the baby, he goes to chill in heavenly Daycare, then comes back as the same person next time she gets knocked up?

    Posted by JCphoenixx | June 22, 2011, 9:30 am
  27. Plain simple for me!if u can’t bear the consequences don’t do it.nobody deserves to die cos of anoda persons lack of preparedness or negligence. If u want to have a child with someone pls do all d necessary test to confirm compatibility, geno type and all dat before you do anytin. for watever reason its not fair to take a life nor is it fair to bring forth a child that wld come to dis world to suffer! am pro life all d way!

    Posted by oba | June 22, 2011, 9:32 am
  28. I’m pro-choice any day. The choice is yours to do what you want for you and you alone. Because at the end of the day, you have only yourself to deal with and no one but you would be there for you-especially when the going going tough

    Posted by Ivory Malinov | June 22, 2011, 9:34 am
  29. Cute. I’ve had to terminate potential relationships (up to seven now) just because I learned that the girls were also AS. Emmmm. Sex is sweet, esp when unprotected but when you think of the suffering of the sickler child that could result (and I’ve been close friends of 2 lovely sicklers) then you find it easier to keep your pants on or if not, to try protection! Please. If you cant take care of the child, ask God for help. Or like the lovely Dania said, consider adoption. You have the right to do what you want with your life, not with the life of another human being! Moses would have been aborted. But his mother couldn’t bear it. So she put him on the Nile. And he got adopted by the Princess of the enemy king and led his people to freedom. Please think again!

    Posted by highlandblue | June 22, 2011, 9:34 am
  30. I would never judge anyone who has a kid outside wedlock or aborts either,people are of different opinions and beliefs. A rather sensitive post i must say.

    Posted by vicki | June 22, 2011, 9:38 am
  31. Most people always shout “I can never support abortion, it’s MURDER” until they face the situation head-on. That said, I still don’t support it but I can’t boldly declare I won’t consider it if I impregnate a outside wedlock. Hopefully, I’ll never have to find out. Thumbs up, Toolsman & Lagoshunter though.

    Posted by Seyi | June 22, 2011, 9:38 am
  32. #random: what came first, The foetus or the egg?

    Posted by JCphoenixx | June 22, 2011, 9:39 am
  33. I can relate to this tale…very much. I have a relation in a similar situation. Everyone said kill the foetus before your conscience rouses. Did she listen? No! She said love conquereth all- where’s that four letter word now? who does she come running to with tales of woe and abuse? Me.
    Who does she run to when she needs to borrow 500naira to buy pampers/goldenmorn for her daughter(adorable child BTW)? You guessed right.
    Her shame is so profound it has weakened her. The once hot and fashion savvy young lady I knew is now a shadow of herself. She walks about with a smile so fake, strain lines now marr her visage.
    You still wanna know my take on this story? I say look beyond the baby bump…do what’s right and save your kids a life of poverty, stress and regrets.
    Use a condom and if you are so fertile, please ABSTINENCE should be your watchword. I’m tired of praying for women in abusive situations, for homeless children spawned by rakes and left to die in shacks. I don tire!

    @thetoolsman…this is my first commment on your blog. I just needed to drop a comment.

    Posted by chidi | June 22, 2011, 9:45 am
  34. I’m confused. It should be pro – death or pro – life, no? Every mother has a CHOICE to either to keep a baby or terminate it nah… Somebody please explain to me before i state my opinion. I don’t wanna be misunderstood.

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | June 22, 2011, 9:45 am
  35. This is a touchy subject but I am pro-choice … Quite obviously, I wldnt expect people to go about having unprotected sex with irresponsible partners that can’t provide for the child but if the situation does arise ( illiterate and jobless mother with no family and lives under a bridge and a run-away dad).. Please how do you expect such a child to have a good future?? There is infact a huge chance that the child will die of hunger and sickness within months … I know that there is still a slim chance that the things might turn out right but really, what are the odds of that? I know with God all things are possible and all that but be realistic, is it fair on the child? Hunger, lack of shelter, disease ,violence .. These things must be considered before bringing a child into the world. My 2 kobo.

    Posted by palavachronicles | June 22, 2011, 9:46 am
  36. sophia?..:( brb

    Posted by kechilauren | June 22, 2011, 9:47 am
  37. i dunno festus, why didnt they just cum together? this is why couples fight all the time *sigh*

    Posted by Zara | June 22, 2011, 9:50 am
  38. I am very pro-choice and i believe people should be able to make decisions realistically. Have you thought about the fact that that postinor might have failed?Or the guy suddenly turned into an asshole on discovering the chic’s pregnant? I hate seeing abandoned babies and would prolly punish a mother that abandon her newborn more. condoms fail,postinor fails…prevention doesnt always prevent.

    Posted by Georgeenah | June 22, 2011, 9:52 am
  39. I usually take pro-choice to be pro-abortion.

    Posted by cecenostockings | June 22, 2011, 9:53 am
  40. In a country where good common sense is often brow beaten by superstition,its refreshing to read an arguement for the grey areas in life that people don’t like to touch. Whether we like it or not, a woman should have the right to excercise choice without fear of religious or social persecution. Life isn’t black or white, had the young lady opted to preserve her future rather than save a destructive relationship she wouldn’t be penniless before she hit middle age.Too many lives have been ruined by immature people making immature choices.
    My name is … And I am decidedly Pro-Choice!

    Posted by kechilauren | June 22, 2011, 9:53 am
  41. I AM TOTALLY PRO-CHOICE___how do you know if conception has not occured… i know ladies that take pills one week after copulation (when there was a high risk of conception) to errr.. clear their systems… would that also be classified as an abortion?
    if it is, then my take is that anyone who has unprotected sex during ovulation or her fertile and did not take any emergency contraception within 72 hours is supposed to have committed an abortion if she ‘cleanses’ her system afterwards… sorry for the long post

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 9:55 am
  42. In as much as I’m personally against abortion,I feel u have a right to decide if u wanto keep a child or not and then again Its not even about abortion alone…it cuts across
    How about the kind of jobs we do, the kind of ppl we date, the kind of friends we keep even.

    Posted by kankey | June 22, 2011, 9:58 am
  43. hahahahaha, sophiaaaa i see you…lol.love your comment

    Posted by dammydiva | June 22, 2011, 10:00 am
  44. many a child have been brought into the world to suffer, be abandoned, abused and in some cases, killed! What greater injustice than to create/bring a child into the world to face such pain, suffering etc…. Pro-Choice all the way!

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 10:01 am
  45. Everyone focuses on what happens after sex, namely pregnancy. Unprotected sex is such a holy cow in this world. We are pro-choice, you say. Why not make the safe choice by having sex when you’re ready to handle it? I’m sorry if I seem a bit harsh. But really, the choice starts from when you both take off your clothes.

    Posted by highlandblue | June 22, 2011, 10:03 am
  46. Sometimes u don’t know what position u are gonna take until u are in that situation.

    Posted by ShoWade | June 22, 2011, 10:06 am
  47. Thanks @cecenostockings.
    Err… This is easy. The answer depends on the scenario. In the scenario described above, it does seem that abortion would have been a better option. However, this isn’t always the case. I have heard of cases where a couple get happily married, wifey gets pregnant and then hubby begins to misbehave. Does she then abort the baby because papa is acting irresponsibly? What about ‘rape pregnancies’. Would you really keep a rape pregnancy in your womb for 9 months? Everyday a constant reminder of the gory experience and even after the child is born and grown up. What do you say when he/she asks of his/her father?
    Let’s be realistic. The situation should define your decision. Ethically, i am against abortions but if the situation warrants it, I’ll abort the child without batting an eyelid.
    By the way @Lagoshunter, why is Sophia jobless? She graduated didn’t she?
    (y) @ thetoolsman.

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | June 22, 2011, 10:07 am
  48. I’m Pro- choice in some specific contexts.
    An abortion as a life saving procedure is inevitable. An abortion as a result of wanting to avoid facing the consequences of irresponsible actions i frown upon.
    Abortion as a result of rape? *sigh* its difficult to easlily outline that one. Life itself is complex and making one out of two choices for a lot of varying reasons can’t be that easy, key components in each distinct situation varies.
    In this situation i feel the abortion shouldn’t have taken place and i feel in some way, a good thing can still come out of this story.

    Posted by griffinthinks | June 22, 2011, 10:08 am
  49. id like to think im pro-life, but then, you never know…when u happen to be in this kind of situation, it’ll only make sense to question every single thing before actually making any decisions.. there is absolutely no reason to bring a child into this world to suffer! i know that abortion is basically murder which is definitely a sin, but then, so is premarital sex, lying and so on.. i therefore honestly see no reason to peg your reason for keeping the baby to religion cos a sin is a sin! as for giving the child up for adoption, yes, makes a whole lotta sense, but personally, i dont think i would be willing to carry a child for 9 months, go through all the stress of child birth and then give MY baby to someone else…no siree!

    Posted by modegun | June 22, 2011, 10:09 am
  50. touchy touchy touchy i must say but I am unapologetically pro life….. no child deserves to die after conception…. i support condoms and postinor but the Abortion for me is a no no ..thank you. *drops mic*

    Posted by Barak Ölee | June 22, 2011, 10:11 am
  51. pro-choice is choosing to abort,pro-life is choosing to keep it.

    Posted by Georgeenah | June 22, 2011, 10:12 am
  52. Easy for u to say, as a guy u cn skip out when eva u want. so r u saying no to premarital sex, even dt argument is flawed cos married women have abortions too. n so called protected sex i.e condoms n pills rnt 100% effective. n dere’s also d tiny issue of rape. some1 gets gangraped n gets pregnant n u want her to raise d baby. May God give me ur level of righteousness.

    Posted by JUDGEMENTAL CHICK | June 22, 2011, 10:13 am
  53. 100% pro life.
    I know people that have had abortions like its a sport… I do not understand why proper precautions aren’t taken if you do not want a child. All this heat of the moment crap is just well… crap.
    If you are ‘mature’ enough to have sex… and you do it of your own free will… then you should be mature enough to handle the consequences if some error occurs and you wind up pregnant.
    I think abortion is cowardly… some see it as a ‘quick fix’ or an easy way out. But the truth of the matter is you are taking a life.
    This is just my opinion.

    Posted by Simmylala | June 22, 2011, 10:16 am
  54. In a world where virgins are becoming a collector’s item even men shy away from virgins,are we being realistic?

    Posted by Georgeenah | June 22, 2011, 10:17 am
  55. Pro-life = no abortion
    pro-choice = the pregnant woman should choose what she wants; usually means one is in support of abortion

    Posted by niyoo | June 22, 2011, 10:19 am
  56. I am Pro-choice but in this case, aborting a pregnancy at 4 or 5 months would have put the mother and child’s lives at risk…. if not done in the 1st trimester, chances of complications not occuring are minimal… so, if you get pregnant – whether in marriage or outside it, think carefully and weigh all the variables.. most importantly, make your decision ON TIME!

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 10:20 am
  57. However, I DO NOT condone abortion as a recreational activity.

    Posted by cecenostockings | June 22, 2011, 10:20 am
  58. after all writen..team ABSTINENCE totally rocks!!!!!

    Posted by kechilauren | June 22, 2011, 10:22 am
  59. Very touchy story. I feel its a choice tbh.lk sum1 sd,u cn easily say pro life until ur faced with d decision. All depends on d situation nd d state of mind tbh. I’m pro choice.

    Posted by MzLucyM | June 22, 2011, 10:26 am
  60. amen!!!

    Posted by modegun | June 22, 2011, 10:27 am
  61. I’m strictly pro life for the simple reason that a fetus is not yet a person and it’s potential to become a person cannot justify giving it supremacy over the rights of an actual person which in this case is the pregnant woman. I believe when a woman has been impregnated due to rape or when a pregnancy threatens the life of a mother, abortion is morally justifiable. There are also more important factors which must also be considered. Factors like who will take responsibility for the child after it is born? What will be the psychological effects on the child itself if it does not have a father? Rape or incest is traumatic for a woman and forcing her to bear the added responsibility of the child she conceived through the unfortunate act would only add to her mental stress. It also means that women who wanted to terminate a pregnancy because it resulted from rape or contraceptive failure or because the would be father has abandoned her or because the fetus is malformed would be forced to endure the misery of unwanted pregnancy and the incredible burdens of child rearing. It would mean that women would be sentenced to donkey year terms of enslavement to unwanted children thereby suffocating their hopes, their dreams, their personal ambitions, and their chance of happiness. The argument about if you can have sex then be mature enough to handle the responsibilities is a whole pile of crap, we all know shit happens, I believe every woman should decide what to do with her own body without restrictions placed on her and if this involves abortion then so be it. My name is Itunu and i am unashamedly pro choice.

    Posted by MsItunu | June 22, 2011, 10:30 am
  62. 98% prolife……2% prochoice (medical reasons only).if u know u r nt ready to face d consequences of havin sex..pls abstain…Nigeria is already overpopulated. dont create a scenario where u wld bring an innocent child to suffer jus cos of few minutes of pleasure…..if u must DO, condoms(male n female),mornin after pills,IUDs,contraceptive pills/injection,implants, spermicidal creams, even withdrawal method are your friends…nuff said!

    Posted by nikki | June 22, 2011, 10:30 am
  63. there is absolutely no way of knowing how the boy will react once u get pregnant, ur once nice and perfect boyfriend might turn into an unrecognizable asshole once he finds out u’re with child.
    also, it is expressly stated in the bible (i don’t know that position of islam on this) that murder is a sin. now i know every sin is equal but do u really want to live the rest of ur life knowing u killed an innocent child and especially in a case where complications arise and u can never have any other children
    however, this is all easier said than done as i’ve never been in this situation, i would imagine when faced with this, the obviously wrong choice which is abortion might be the most comfortable one. ur parents might be mightily disappointed at first but they always come around, always, no matter how long it’ll take.
    i realize i’ll be contradicting myself by saying this but the only instance where i’ll support this is if the child has some medical condition or a terminal illness that’ll mean he’ll be wishing he/she was never born in the 1st place but even then God works in mysterious ways.
    @judgmentalchick ur sister is very brave, that story made me sad

    SEX IS EXPENSIVE (and no i don’t mean economically expensive even though it is as well) lol

    Posted by april | June 22, 2011, 10:30 am
  64. Wow. Rape victims. Abortions because of rape. Hmmmmmm. Scientific research in the US actually pointed out that women who kept their rape babies were better able to cope with the psychological trauma of their situation. Love the child. I’m so passionate about this that if I had the cash, I would open up a foster home for unwanted kids and plead with mothers not to abort. The inspiring stories I’ve heard about children born out of wedlock or in uncomfortable societal or financial positions make me shudder when people speak so lightly of dismissing the lives of future heroes. Excuse me brother and sister muslims, but lemme vent. When Jesus was conceived before wedlock, if it were now, Mary might have tried to abort and save her name, seeing that Joseph would not choose to marry her anymore. They weren’t so rich either. But now, everyone is happy she was bold. Have you guys any idea on the medical procedures involved in abortions? Those things are blood-curdling. I’d be scarred for life if I were a girl knowing all those happened in my body when I had an abortion. Practice responsible sex or abstain. Thank you Toolsman and Lagoshunter well done. Much love to you all.

    Posted by highlandblue | June 22, 2011, 10:30 am
  65. 98% prolife……2% prochoice (medical reasons only).if u know u r nt ready to face d consequences of havin sex..pls abstain…Nigeria is already overpopulated. dont create a scenario where u wld bring an innocent child to suffer jus cos of few minutes of pleasure…..if u must DO, condoms(male n female),mornin after pills,IUDs,contraceptive pills/injection/implants, spermicidal creams, even withdrawal method are your friends…nuff said!

    Posted by nikki | June 22, 2011, 10:31 am
  66. Please Remind me to use a condom while raping your sister

    Posted by BigDick | June 22, 2011, 10:33 am
  67. Pro-choice or pro-life? There are very few things in life that are black and white, cut and dry.

    I’ve done a whole lot of research about contraception and in my lay opinion based on my findings, contraception (pills to be specific) often involves abortion. The question to ask is, when does “life” really start? Is it after fertilization, or implantation, or…? When does abortion become murder?

    I still don’t know the answer to that question.

    My problem with people who do abortions is that it often becomes a regular re-occurrence, for many of them. But I feel like with every abortion, a piece of u dies. And I just can’t stand the women who irresponsibly get pregnant every now and then because they have the option of taking the “baby” out. That is just sadistic. I also have a problem with waiting beyond 3 months to have an abortion. It feels more like murder at that point.

    My problem with pro-life people is that they are guilty of proffering a “one-size fits all” answer for every scenario. Life is not that simple.

    However, I believe that the decision to keep a baby is a mother’s choice. God gave us the wombs and the power of decision for a reason. And guess what? Not one of us can alter his plans in spite of this power of choice he has given us. So if u “kill” your baby, best believe it doesn’t affect the course of life.

    I reserve the right to be wrong.

    Posted by Glory | June 22, 2011, 10:34 am
  68. Moses would have been killed by Pharaoh’s soldiers, not aborted. Valid point though! 🙂

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 22, 2011, 10:35 am
  69. So on point! So very on point!

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 22, 2011, 10:36 am
  70. A prsonal story… someone close to me recently had a pregnancy whilst in schl — parents were distraught and against abortion, she even contemplated suicide — no one wanted the end product.. she was sent outta home…. the guy denied her… unfortunately it was too late to commit an abortion, which i advised her to do (5 months) — u know what? i am anti-marriage but not anti-kids… I Legally ADOPTED THE CHILD and today, I have a bubbly 2 year old as my son.. who knows what wld have happened had the child been left with my friend or her parents? he wld have been a victim of abuse! today, all parties are happy and no one interferes with my son’s upbringing… being pro-Choice is the best in such a case! married women should also have abortions if the have a very abusive husband and cannot getout of the relationship! #gbam

    Posted by happy pro-choice dad | June 22, 2011, 10:37 am
  71. This is a sad story….

    I fear GOD..I fear HIV…I fear STDs… .I practice SAFE SEX…am PRO-LIFE

    Condoms, lubricants,weed and vodka are cheap…as well as daily pills, spermicidal creams, female condoms…

    Dos doing abortion..oh well..those carrying d pikin God BLess you

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | June 22, 2011, 10:38 am
  72. I’m pro-choice….n I can’t help but say until they’ve been in that situation those claiming to b pro-life can’t honestly and shouldn’t confidently say they are….my own 2kobo

    Posted by babykomarol | June 22, 2011, 10:39 am
  73. I just knew this post will be a breeding ground for holier-than-thou responses. This sir is what u call a narrow-minded view! What do u mean no1 seeks to ask the child what they want? Umm, maybe bcus it’s not an actual child yet…just a thot. No1 seeks to intentionally kill one’s baby but mistakes do occur, sh*t does happen. And it’s reassuring to know you have a choice not 2 drag a child into this world due to ur mistakes. What about in cases where the mother was raped? Or where the foetus has been found 2 be disabled and wud be wheel-chair bound 4 d rest of his life. Is abortion alright in these cases or u’d rather drag the child into this world to satisfy ur selfish interest/conscience?

    Posted by wordsofanaries | June 22, 2011, 10:40 am
  74. Am def pro choice. Its a woman’s right to choose what to do with her body. Why bring a child to this world who you don’t want. Everyone should read freakonomics, levitt and dubner makes some good point about abortion and the effect it has on society. They theorized that the legalization of abortion in ny in the early 1900s contirbuted to the unexpected sudden fall in crime. They reasoned that your typical criminal is usually born into cliche circumstances – single lower class young mother, unwanted pregnancy. An by legalizing abortion in the us, the potential criminals were never born, leading to a fall in crime. Controversial?? Yes.. But they do make some sense.

    Posted by damieoyibo | June 22, 2011, 10:43 am
  75. sorry but i dont think the problem here is abortion. i think the problem is marriage. They dated for four years and in that time she agreed to marry him. four years is a long time for you to know if you want to live with someone for the rest of your life, its enough for you to decide to love someone and for whom they are , accept them and thier flaws and still decide to raise children with them. I dont think jerome changed in the duration of thier marriage. i believed her life would have been messed up with or without the kids.

    Posted by trust me i know | June 22, 2011, 10:45 am
  76. So men shy away from virgins is enough reason not to remain one? Hmmm…interesting!

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 22, 2011, 10:45 am
  77. Insightful.

    Posted by StephanieIj | June 22, 2011, 10:45 am
  78. All these Pro-life shit and people talking about how abortion did this and that is rubbish.

    If the abortion aint going to be dangerous to the health of the woman then she should go ahead… After all the sperms that didn’t fertilise any egg would swim away…if no fertilisation occurred the eggs would be your period so what’s the fuss?

    Keeping babies you don’t want or aint ready for???

    Posted by ThereISaidIt | June 22, 2011, 10:50 am
  79. This is such a sensitive topic. I’m pro life, for a few reasons, the largest of which is my faith. In previous discussions about this, people generally discard or scorn arguments based on faith, but here it is, a fertilised egg is a child, and whether or not the law condones it, it is murder, you cannot create a life, why on earth should you be allowed to take it away? (Same goes for euthanasia, difft story for a different day sha).
    Every action has a consequence, if you’re going to be sexually active, use a condom, at the risk of it breaking, also use a pill, if u still get pregnant, that’s your lot in life. It is the consequence of the action, live with it.
    As per the argument on circumstances surrounding birth being a factor. If u were not ready to bring a child into the world, u Shda kept it between your legs, n in the sad event that your circumstances changed drastically between conception and birth, this might sound harsh but tragedy happens, what if ur lot changed the moment the child was born? Would you kill it because u didn’t want it to live a hard life? No. For me, its the same thing.
    Before feminists jump on me, yes, it is a woman’s body and she has a right to choose, she can choose to abstain if she doesn’t want a child, that would be a more sensible and less consequential choice. A human life is not beans people.
    Sorry for the long comment. Done now

    Posted by t3niola | June 22, 2011, 10:51 am
  80. lemme help them pro-life guys spelll it out again — MOST PILLS INVOLVE SOME FORM OF ABORTION!!!

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 10:51 am
  81. At the beginning you were pro life, at the end pro choice…but from your argument you are pro choice! OK!

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 22, 2011, 10:52 am
  82. Pro yam and egg sauce 🙂

    Posted by Musa | June 22, 2011, 10:54 am
  83. I’m feeling this guy! Gotta read your blog next!

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 22, 2011, 10:55 am
  84. scientific research on psychological trauma? that’s a bit of a stretch. (carrying out opinion surveys on 1/100th of rape victims is hardly scientific proof) errrmmm im no doctor bt hw blood curling can it possibly be. iv had lumpectomy on both boobs n i drove myself home, can it be as painful or as traumatic as that? Hardly remember d procedure n Scars fade!!!!

    Posted by JUDGEMENTAL CHICK | June 22, 2011, 10:57 am
  85. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not holier than anyone. Shit does happen I agree. What next? More shit? Really I stick to my position. I think every child should be given a chance. If you cant take care of them, please give them up for adoption. Its too late when the child is conceived to start thinking straight. The damage has been done. I don’t know about your disability statement. Do you realize that blind pilots are more skilled than the seeing ones? Are you saying now that the disabled members of society should have been put to death to save them from suffering? Have you so quickly forgotten the valid contributions of the disabled to society? U don’t remember Beethoven, Stevie Wonder or Ethel Waters do you? Please this is not about being holy. It is about being sober, reverent of human life, and being in awe of how God sometimes turns impossible situations around. No to abortion. Thank you.

    Posted by highlandblue | June 22, 2011, 10:58 am
  86. If u fnk ur old enuff n ready to have sex esp unprotected sex den pls be ready to deal with d consequencies…we girls have a lot to loose wen d issue of pregnancy arises esp wen we aint married or financially stable…d guy involved mite tell u all d sweet tngs in d wrld but d truth is if he decides to walk we are d mothers of our kids n we bear d pain mre..so pls pls pls let’s be responisble wen it cmes to sex! Insist on condoms or just chill till marriage..no one wants a case of d dude telln u, he feels trapped, dis wasn’t d plan he had for his life etc..dis is a very sad post n I feel for d girl.am I pro-life or pro-choice? I dnt evn knw *sigh* wat wld I hve dne, wat wld u ve dne?

    Posted by beeyuteeful | June 22, 2011, 10:59 am
  87. Ermmmm…in as much as I’d like to say I’m pro life…oh but wait!Being pro choice doesn’t make u anti-life does it?
    The truth remains dat as a young girl,u never really know what u are until u are in dat tight corner where d choice u make WOULD affect d rest of ur ENTIRE life,and u have very limited time to act.
    As for this Sophia girl…*sigh*…to b contd

    Posted by Cyntinnet | June 22, 2011, 10:59 am
  88. Still trying to decipher who this is tho, but good argument…just to add a lil piece to your argument.
    If one declares I’m pro-life and still support the use of contraceptives, then you are pro-choice. Truth is no situation is ideal and this should not be an argument of pro-life or pro-choice…………it’s not that simple. But then again just like you, I also reserve the right to be wrong.

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 22, 2011, 11:00 am
  89. Lool, of course yes

    Posted by t3niola | June 22, 2011, 11:00 am

    Posted by JUDGEMENTAL CHICK | June 22, 2011, 11:00 am
  91. In the summer of 1988 two young people from entirely different backgrounds met for the first time in the classrooms of Lycee de Mamfe, in the border town of Mamfe, western Cameroon.

    Collins Wolfgang Teku was a smart, fun-loving, good-looking, hell raiser. Son of Camerounian lawyer Tabi Mbianyor Teku & his German school teacher wife Karolin Anke Teku.

    Nkechi Frances Kalu on the other hand was a mild mannered, intelligent & extremely athletic girl whose mother, Mercy Kalu, sold puff-puff, ‘make-me-well’, amongst other petty stuff at the local market while her father was a local tailor.

    Both of them loved sports & excelled at it. Collins in football, Nkechi in handball and volleyball. Over the course of their final year at L.M they became best of friends and soon lovers. They scaled through their A’Levels & spent all their time together until Nkechi discovered that she was pregnant. Her parents were livid being devout christians & well known members of their church. But the real problem started when during the course of the discussions Mr Tabi Teku accused the Kalu’s of trying to use their slut of a daughter to gain access to the Teku name and wealth.

    Mr. Kalu being a proud Ibo man felt insulted and promptly ordered the Teku’s out of his house. Soon after, he took out all his savings and with the help of a few friends he raised enough money to send Nkechi to England to stay with her older brother who was at that time studying to be a medical doctor.

    In the years that followed Nkechi moved back to Lagos, Nigeria where she studied part time at the University of Lagos while she working at a bar/restaurant she started up with her older sister & still found time to raise her son who was the spitting image of his father. Collins Teku on the other hand lost all links with both of them and after being turned down repeatedly by Mr. Kalu gave up and continued with his life.

    Fast forward to 2009, Nkechi sits front row as she watched her son graduate magna cum laude in both economics & computer science. That afternoon as she had lunch with him, his step-father and three younger brothers she told him this story. She told him how scared she was when realised she was pregnant. She told him how scared she was when she went to a doctor to get rid of the pregnancy. She told him how she cried and changed her mind at the last minute and ran out of the doctors office determined to keep her baby. She told him how scared but sure she was when she gave birth to him on her 19th birthday. She told him that it was the best decision she’d ever made. That’s what she told me…..

    My name is Victor Kalu, this is my story and I’m unapologetically Pro-Life.

    Posted by freshprinz | June 22, 2011, 11:01 am
  92. T3NIOLA can I meet you please? Lol

    Posted by highlandblue | June 22, 2011, 11:02 am
  93. @Highlandblue…believe me Jesus’s story came to mind:|
    I beg to differ with u on your last comment about the US research. One thing I try never to follow in the cyberworld, are psychological researches done in the US without using black subjects(esp.from our part of the world)
    You CANNOT compare how the minds of women in our part of the world and that of those in the western world works. I have had the opportunity to work for a month with a group of women in the hinterlands of certain states. These women were victims of constant rape and believe U me, I’ve almost seen it all. You hear blood curling tales of women who carry to term every one of their pregnancy and later on abandon these children in random villages. They would trekk miles to another village to abandon a ten days old baby. Some even leave their kids in the forests. That’s what RAPE turns u too…it kills Ur conscience! I’m talking about the action of very timid ladies, pls don’t make me recount tales of what the literates do. NOBODY should be made to go through that kind of torture. Y don’t u abort the child? What’s the difference? Leaving a child out in the cold for the animals in the forest to prey on? All coz you r pro life? Oh pls…As much as I think abortion is unethical and morally the wrong choice? There are situations where you have to use to head.

    U r a man…u can’t understand what it means to bear the child of rape and ♥ it unconditionally. Forget the role Genevieve played in tango with me. Those kinna women exist but they’ve got WILL. Something most rape victims lack.

    Posted by chidi | June 22, 2011, 11:11 am
  94. Hitler’s mother was very close to aborting him,but ended up not doing so..we all kno hw dat would av turned out
    My name is djabbarish and I am humbly pro-choice

    Posted by djabbarish | June 22, 2011, 11:12 am
  95. Is this necessary??? Seriously???

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 22, 2011, 11:14 am
  96. I’m very pro choice. Abortion should be legalised with exceptions of course.

    Posted by fabuloussbee | June 22, 2011, 11:18 am
  97. I’m pro choice……people will still do it regardless so if you legalize it, it can be done under d right conditions and the risks will be less.

    Posted by nenny | June 22, 2011, 11:19 am
  98. God bless you sir…The decision to have sex means one needs to live with the consequences of the action…the primary one being pregnancy. You have no right over the life of a child..and that child’s life starts immediately conception has occured.

    That said, I am pro-life…..all day, everyday.

    Posted by awizii | June 22, 2011, 11:19 am
  99. I’m pro-choice..these things happen..we have to make choices everyday..you can’t always sit back and take life as it comes..it might hit you too hard.that aside..I have a question for guys..’Would you like to marry a girl that has had an abortion(s) for you’..I really want to know?

    Posted by @TheJadeM | June 22, 2011, 11:21 am
  100. This is scary. Very, very scary. I hate not being able to do things myself.

    *wearing Sophia’s shoes*

    D deed’s done. I’m pregnant. I aint taking Mr. Hunter’s advice cos i just cant av abortion. I ll act on my fears n not marry Jerome, since he’s a ‘wheel barrow’. Cos if i did, i ll av 2 ‘babies’ n myself to cater for. I ll be beta off without him in my lyf. Not saying it’s gonna be a roller coaster ride, but, i ll be beta off living without d guilt of murdering my own flesh n blood. Moreover, even if i’m neglected by family n friends, n cant stand it anymore, there’s always a family that needs a child or a home i could keep d child in (that’s so painful too).

    I hope such a situation neva presents itself.

    Posted by Bubble G. | June 22, 2011, 11:21 am
  101. God bless you Dania.

    Posted by awizii | June 22, 2011, 11:23 am
  102. Good work Chidi on your dealing with Nigerian women on this issue. I agree with you but for a different reason. Stigmatization can drive you mad enough to abandon your baby. It really is not the fact that they were raped that is so killing, but the weight of societal scorn. Who in Nigeria will marry a celebrated rape victim with a child in tow? Where do you turn to? The same for HIV/AIDS. You realize that the stigmatization angle is a very solid campaign point in HIV ads because even if you were not going to die from AIDS, the rejection from society is enough to kill. Please help change the minds of our brothers and sisters towards children outside wedlock, HIV patients, rape victims and children put up for adoption. Thank you Chidi.

    Posted by highlandblue | June 22, 2011, 11:23 am
  103. wow…….

    Posted by dammydiva | June 22, 2011, 11:23 am
  104. If the couple (or just the mother incase the father doesn’t step up to the plate) has reached a stage in their life where they can provide for the child/children that they bring into this world…then go for it…why abort?

    If you cannot deal with the responsibilties that come with having sex then don’t have sex at all. It is better to abstain from it especially if you know you don’t have the finances or supportive parents that would have your back if such a situation were to occur.

    I’m sad about what happened to Sophia & Jerome..that was a really bad case and their lives…especially hers got messed up…but children are a gift…and her children probably cause her to smile and make her happy even though she’s going through shit.

    Anyways…..I’m pro-life…(Yes even if I get pregnant out of wedlock…quote me on this…”I’m keeping my baby”).

    “Never, Never deck her, with an unwrapped pecker” or even better “No Glove, No Love”….don’t do something unless you can handle the aftermath.

    Posted by @timmytimzz | June 22, 2011, 11:25 am
  105. Dis is d first tym am goin to comment even tho I read all your posts 😀 and I guess its cos I can actually relate.
    A very close friend of mine was in a situation lik dis recently.
    Her bf didn’t exactly have a job, he still lived in his family house, she was young and still in skul (although in her finals) and she actually had a child for smone earlier who tho is responsible for the child refused to marry her.
    He insisted she had an abortion due to his financial state wch tho might seem selfish was actually him being realistic. I advised the same thing for her own sake.
    She lives wit her parents and she didn’t need 2 children in her life as a single mother and at her age.
    She refused and had a beautiful baby girl lik 2 weeks bak.
    It was her choice to make at d end of the day altho I have my reservations. Her life has been put on hold till God knws when and she now has 2 children under her parents roof.
    I do not want to raise my children under such conditions and if I was d one I wld av taken my own advice.
    Call me selfish or wateva but my name is Feyi and I am unapologetically Pro- Choice.

    Posted by Pheyi | June 22, 2011, 11:27 am
  106. First of all, I’d need to clear something up. Sophia and Jerome are suffering for the decisions and poor judgement that they made. Baby or not, the cookie would still have crumbled. So blaming everything on Dominic’s birth is…kinda way off base in my opinion.

    Now am I Pro-life or Pro-choice? Tough question. It’s a woman’s body, let her decide ba? But who speaks for the child? Like Glory said life isn’t ‘black and white’ too many shades of grey to be absolute. But honestly, I really don’t believe this abortion debate would come up if people used contraception. With the plethora of contraception available, isn’t preventing pregnancy way easier and less traumatic? And for all you pro-choicers EVERY woman who has had an abortion suffers for it psychologically and emotionally; she may not tell you, but it’s the truth. I guess I’m Pro-choice sha, but not for all them holier-than-thou reasons. 🙂

    Posted by zanyfran | June 22, 2011, 11:28 am
  107. Glory Okubo, Rhema Campus Fellowship… And we’re on the same page. 😀

    Posted by Glory | June 22, 2011, 11:29 am
  108. This debate can go forever. Even in the US supreme court, the opinion changes whenever a new Judge is appointed. People can never agree so I wont even go there. I am Pro-Life philosophically. If katakata bust tomorrow, I fit turn Pro-choice. *hypocrite shrug*

    Philosophically speaking, we can break down the argument to
    1. Is it wrong to commit murder?
    2. Is abortion murder?
    3. Is a foetus human or just the potential to be human?
    4. When does the fertlized egg cross over to foetus status?
    5. All these and more are food for thought.

    On a side note, one argument I have used in the past is a hybrid of religion and science, it goes: The bible says, the blood is the life “because the life of every creature is its blood”- Lev 17:14. Biologically, the foetus does not develop its own blood till day 22 of after fertilization “Day 22: heart begins to beat with the child’s own blood, often a different type than the mothers’.” – Dairy of the unborn child, Dr. Verny.

    Therefore, Religio-philosophically, abortion before day 22 (about a month) is all well and good since the baby has no life of its own and it is just an organ’ using the mothers blood (life).

    Okay! Goodbye!

    Posted by ThinkTank | June 22, 2011, 11:31 am
  109. So.. erm.. do all the prolifers support abstinence then?

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 22, 2011, 11:32 am
  110. Simple truth is people don’t care anymore…it’s only a foetus right? It doesn’t have a will so flush it.
    The challenge with this post is the fact that though abortion seems like the right choice in extreme cases and an easy way out in other unpleasant situations, should this then be an everyday occurrence?
    If you have abortion as as option, chances are you will be carefree in your approach to sex simply becos you don’t care!
    A different twist to this is should abortion then be encouraged for married couples because they are not making ends meet at the point of inception?
    Why would you sit and consider the consequences of keeping a pregnancy after having passionate sex with your partner and whoever and not think of the consequences before sex? Yes shit happens but forums like this should steer us to ask ourselves the right questions and not just endorse pro-life or pro-choice…..na person wey wear show know where e dey pain. Let’s be wise!

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 22, 2011, 11:35 am
  111. Well written Lagoshunter. However, i strongly disagree with your views. Part of being an adult as painful as it maybe is taking responsibility for your actions whether good or bad. You chose to have sex. DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. Murdering a child might be ‘convenient’ but not the solution. Looking at the lives of sophia & jerome, even if the kids weren’t in their lives they would be losers anyway. From their story it’s easy to tell.

    Posted by PreyingMantis | June 22, 2011, 11:37 am
  112. Ooops my bad, the beginning should read pro choice not pro life

    Posted by MsItunu | June 22, 2011, 11:38 am
  113. a number of people have lost the point here…oh well…interesting comments.

    Posted by dammydiva | June 22, 2011, 11:39 am
  114. Love this post!…this is a topic I’m very passionate about. I’m very much pro-choice..and I have no apologies for that.
    I’m one of those people that think it is very selfish to bring a child into the world when you know that child isn’t going to have a good life. What’s the point??. Or worse still..people having kids they don’t want because of guilt or fear.
    I’ve had an abortion. I’m not proud of myself but I don’t regret it. I wasn’t careless either, condoms aren’t %100 effective, I learnt that the hard way. My decision to abort my baby is the best decision I’ve ever made..simply put the child would’ve had a crappy life…and I wasn’t ready to put any child of mine thru that.
    If I could go back I’d make the same decision…

    Posted by Anon-Pro choice | June 22, 2011, 11:40 am
  115. No! U don’t geddit. It is not only about stigmatization…(THats even very far from it. In villages where the rapists are the leaders who expect you to poop out children to expand the kingdom? Who’s gonna stigmatise u eh? I finally garnered y most of them refuse to visit the witchwoman is because her abortionherbs have been known to kill both mother and foetus/baby. If they had their way, they would do just that.
    I don’t condone RAPE and I doubt if I’m ‘liverised’ enough to keep the end product of such a violent encounter.
    Call me a chicken, call me a murderer. The child within the womb, will soon be in it’s tomb.
    My name is CHIDINMA. I support Abstinence and condoms and pills and Vodka, and in the event of rape, I am unrepentantly and irrevocably Pro Choice

    Posted by chidi | June 22, 2011, 11:40 am
  116. A lot of people always stand behind the argument that you should never give birth to a child without having the means to take care of it. But I believe that even if u can’t take care of it you can always give it up for adoption even before the child is born. There is always a way. But better still don’t engage in unprotected sex and if you can then just abstain totally.

    Loads of ppl have made very good points here today but the key thing here is realizing that everyone has a right to his or her own opinion. When does the foetus become an actual human being? I don’t know. Is it okay to have an abortion if the pregnancy is still in the first trimester? I don’t know. Is it safe? Yes. You always have choices, even in dire situations but sometimes the easy choice isn’t necessarily the wise or right choice. But then again, who determines what’s right or wrong. I’ve said my piece and I stand in the Pro-Life Corner but I understand why some ppl may choose abortion instead. I can’t judge them but it doesn’t mean I believe its okay either. *sigh*
    Choose wisely ppl, or better still don’t get urself in a position that’ll force u to choose.

    Posted by freshprinz | June 22, 2011, 11:41 am
  117. This post is dedicated to every woman who has been brave enough to make that hard decision to live with the guilt of an abortion instead of making an unwanted/unplanned for child suffer.
    Naturally, you will find comments on this page very judgemental of you but take consolation in knowing that unless the person judging you has actually had their own unplanned child, their opinion of women like you is …..just an opinion and opinions are easy to form.

    I may not be a woman but I have had one make this hard decision on our behalf.

    *I wasn’t going to comment but it suddenly dawned on me that this must be painful and hard for those readers who have actually done abortions.*


    Posted by Lagos Hunter | June 22, 2011, 11:44 am
  118. I feared this might happen…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 22, 2011, 11:45 am
  119. Life itself is a series of choices, one leads you to another set, if you go based on faith the choice of premarital sex led to having to make a choice of keeping or killing a baby. It doesn’t make sense to cover one mistake with another. And before the ‘don’t be judgemental police’ come @ me I said from a faith point of veiw. However if you take God out of the equation do what you feel is best afterall He is all forgiving, but speaking from experience abortion stays with you in little sutble ways that never go away

    Posted by isoken mayor | June 22, 2011, 11:46 am
  120. ……..Kill unwanted babies!!!! Sounds dreadful yeah? But d truth is b4 u dive in d deep blue….why not don a wet suit…..if u aint ready to abort cos of religious beliefs why not use contraceptive pills and condoms. Saves the headache of life/choice. I don’t support abortion tho, so I will neva put my self in a position where abortion would be the only choice.

    Posted by radiokiller | June 22, 2011, 11:48 am
  121. I’m a doctor, and I’m very pro life. Who are u to decide if the child is gonna have a good life or not? If u were not ready for a child, then pls use protection, there are so many forms of protection nowadays, its rather irresponsible to have an unwanted pregnancy.
    I work in a fertility clinic and if u knw the number of couples wanting to have children, u’l wonder y pple having abortions like its a form of birth control.
    Let’s be honest, most times, the reasons for having an abortion are mainly selfish, nobody is rily thinkin abt the condition of the child, d man and d woman are almost always thinkin abt themselves and how the child wil mess up their plans!
    I heard a story about a girl who had an abortion 2months to her weddin simply because her church wud not have allowed the wedding! That is a very selfish and hypocritical move.
    Mistakes happen, pple are raped, but please, there’s a pill called postinor 2, u can take it asap, b4 fertilisation even occurs! U don’t have to wait and wallow in self pity for a while b4 eventually having an abortion.
    Our destinys vary, what if that’s the only child u’r destined to have in this life?
    I’m unashamedly pro life…

    Posted by @deevagal | June 22, 2011, 11:49 am
  122. I think abortion wouldnt have still solved the problem. She would have gotten pregnant again. Am Anti- Abortion

    Posted by Amb. Caleb | June 22, 2011, 11:54 am
  123. @vic no wonder am nt d only child 😐

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | June 22, 2011, 11:56 am
  124. But people are pathetic though. What the heck is ‘my name is bla bla bla, i’m unashamedly pro life or pro choice’? This isn’t AA. Cos the writer put that up, y’all have to take the same toll? Make your stupid point and fuck off

    Posted by PreyingMantis | June 22, 2011, 11:57 am
  125. “My problem with people who do abortions is that it often becomes a regular re-occurrence, for many of them. But I feel like with every abortion, a piece of u dies. And I just can’t stand the women who irresponsibly get pregnant every now and then because they have the option of taking the “baby” out. That is just sadistic. ”

    I thoroughly agree with that comment, and this is why I don’t think abortion should be legalized, it makes for a ‘slippery slope’. Otherwise, you honestly wouldn’t know how to react until you are in that situation to make the choice, therefore, it depends on the circumstance of each case. If your lucky enough to find someone to adopt like in the case of “happy pro-choice dad” den your blessed cos giving up a baby aint easy, but most times that would not be the case.

    This post sure strikes a nerve.

    Posted by Chicasa | June 22, 2011, 11:58 am
  126. u mean u would rather put a child’s life to chance??? C-H-A-N-C-E??? that is tantamount to gambling! abeg, jor

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 12:04 pm
  127. emphasis on RECREATIONAL… gracias!

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 12:05 pm
  128. Pro-life. I think d mistake here is going ahead to marry the guy. We say abortion is a sin jst like any other sin bt it’s not. Cos u never get to tell d child u’r sorry wen u regret it. Wen u get pregnant as a single lady, work on urself, get beta, work harder… No woman needs a man. It may be tough bt Life cld av bn beta if she stayed bak in naija and raised d child alone

    Posted by july | June 22, 2011, 12:06 pm
  129. This is an awfully sad story yo… I personally think girls should all know that having a baby is truely rocket science esp when there isn’t any form of serious commitment w/ d “fuckee”… To b honest I can’t say sophie deserved it but I don’t feel sorry for her! Once u cater for your man’s need…know already that that’s all he’ll need u for…and sex! Condoms are friggn cheap..well xcpt they r LV brands so the best fin to do is “DO U and EFFIN STRAP UP”…. As for the abuse,I been a victim of that once and I say “hell-to’the-NO to such! Walkaway…LOVE IS NOT THAT SERIOUS!!! Now she’s a complete “weissssssst” and we all feel sorry for her… Y’all shld learn from this… Don’t fuck or strap up if u must!!!…n if preganancy rly is a mistake…there r different types of morning after pills just to kip u on d safe side… Say NO to abortion,its ur adorable baby u r killing ….suxxxx!!!

    Posted by cocopie1 | June 22, 2011, 12:11 pm
  130. nice post @lagoshunter .. as for me i’m pro-choice bt rather than abortion i’ll stick wit condom,bringn a child in2 dis world to suffer is bad .. so is hurtn ur womb n ruining ur chances of bringn ny oda child in d future

    Posted by Ebuoe | June 22, 2011, 12:12 pm
  131. Always see the Light @ the end of the tunnel…I love this.

    Posted by Ifeelyou | June 22, 2011, 12:13 pm
  132. A collector’s collection usually consists of rare items.abstinence aint a common message these days.

    Posted by Georgeenah | June 22, 2011, 12:14 pm
  133. ^ I think they should

    Posted by kankey | June 22, 2011, 12:15 pm
  134. It is scary,when you find out that u r carrying a baby,with no means to cater for it..at that point,although you love the child already,u’d rather not have your baby come to this world to suffer…yes I’ve had to make that decision before and thinking back,I couldn’t have raised a child in my present situation….so,I am pro choice

    Posted by miss kay | June 22, 2011, 12:19 pm
  135. Pro-choice. Pro-life. Pro-choice. Pro-life…I’d go with Pro-life. Sounds better too. Go ahead..try it!

    Posted by ms_tomiwa | June 22, 2011, 12:19 pm
  136. quick one: there are ways of taking out a pregnancy that dont involve having a D&C so it aint as terrible as it used to be.Maybe thats why its become a fashion statement.

    Posted by Georgeenah | June 22, 2011, 12:21 pm
  137. Pro Choice. I personally don’t think I’d have an abortion unless its a life and death situation, but I believe everyone has a right to choose. You know you situation, you know what you can handle. Do what you feel is right for you and deal with the consequences. At the end of the day its gonna be just you and your God.

    Posted by beeawo | June 22, 2011, 12:24 pm
  138. It’s all well and good for the disabled who have made something of themselves but what about the millions that are at the mercy of their own disabilities? Who have become their own prisoners due to the constraints of their disabilities. I have no sympathy 4 parents who bring into this world a terminally disabled child knowing fully well the amount of pain and endless hospital visits the poor child will have 2 endure in his unfairly short lifetime. Tell me, at d end of of the day, who benefits from this, d parents or the child. I tell u, it’s the parents because they have satisfied their own conscience of “not killing a foetus”. I don’t support abortion being used as a regular alternative form of birth control or repeatedly as a last resort. All I’m saying is there are instances where abortion is justified. Until u’ve eva been in that situation, u have no right 2 talk down on it. My 2 penny!

    Posted by wordsofanaries | June 22, 2011, 12:24 pm
  139. Preyingmantis. Wetin hapun na? This is an express yourself medium nau…choi U dey vex o!

    Posted by chidi | June 22, 2011, 12:24 pm
  140. Nice post btw @lagoshunter

    Posted by miss kay | June 22, 2011, 12:29 pm
  141. thanx baby:*

    Posted by kechilauren | June 22, 2011, 12:34 pm
  142. yeah like dude, was that necessary?

    Posted by Barak Ölee | June 22, 2011, 12:37 pm
  143. very well said

    Posted by Barak Ölee | June 22, 2011, 12:39 pm
  144. God bless T3NIOLA…Human life is sacred. It doesn’t get more sensitive than this.

    Posted by awizii | June 22, 2011, 12:40 pm
  145. I know a similar situation that happened to a colleague who thought she was gonna marry this dude so she quit her job and started nursing her dreams to be a mother and wife. Same abusive relationship, disrespecting the girl in public and flirting with her friends. Long story short about a month to when she was due, the guy bolted..no fucking where to be found ( this is a lady that didn’t finish her education)..

    I remember when her friends used to advice her to abort the pregnancy when it was still early but she thought everyone was her enemy. Today, she’s given birth and had to move back in with her parents to be able to support the child.
    What I’m saying is, bringing a child to the world when you can’t support the child should be regarded as cruel. Its painful to have to terminate a pregnancy but if you’re to weigh your other options, that would be easier on you and your baby.

    Abortion should not be the first option though, but the last.

    Posted by no1chick | June 22, 2011, 12:41 pm
  146. I’m too non judgmental of others to ever condemn anyone for being pro-choice but for a minute…. could we pause and call a spade by its name, tell the real reason why we wouldn’t wanna have a kid @ a young age?

    It is not about the child. Stop giving excuses about the child’s future as a reason for being pro-choice because frankly the most reason not to keep a baby is You, You and You. #thereISaidIt. Its about how your life would never be the same and how you’ve lost your youth forever and oh yes the diminished marriage prospect. and all the other fun stuff you’ll have to give up probably even forever. Yap ….it is about you not wanting to be responsible just yet, not wanting to have to hustle all day long as a teenager and use that money not on shoes n bags but on Pampers.
    I say this because frankly you can train a child with good planning…but u’ll have to sacrifice yourself. That sacrifice is wt most girls don’t want to make just yet.

    Posted by Ifeelyou | June 22, 2011, 12:42 pm
  147. Yhello you! How’s Grace? My love to her and where are u sef? Send me a mail on FB now with updates!

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 22, 2011, 12:43 pm
  148. after reading this…is there any need for us to argue about this topic again? really? wow!

    Posted by Barak Ölee | June 22, 2011, 12:43 pm
  149. you are special….:)happy she made the right choice

    Posted by kechilauren | June 22, 2011, 12:45 pm
  150. Freshprinz you’re no doubt a gift to this world. Thank you for sharing your story and may Almighty God bless you even more abundantly. Amen.

    Posted by awizii | June 22, 2011, 12:46 pm
  151. Errmm @highlandblue, u brought the issue of moses not being aborted and put at river nile.. Ok think of it this way, what if he wasn’t adopted by the princess and got eaten by a Lion..and u heard, would ou have blamed the mother that dropped him there in the 1st place orr the lion that saw an easy prey.

    P.s u dint have skilled medical doctors then!

    Posted by Aisha | June 22, 2011, 12:48 pm
  152. A few years ago, a friend said she’d have the baby if she ever falls pregnant when she heard that someone just had an abortion,a few weeks later she found herself calling same person to ask where she had the abortion cos she needed the abortion. Its very easy for pple to chant pro-life when they’ve never been in a situation. An abortion takes less thirty minutes and is quite safe if done by a good doctor,I think its very silly for any woman to have a baby just bcos she found herself pregnant,especially if she not prepared. No child shld be made to sure thru life just bcos of the parents (often hypocritical) morals. Funny thing is, I’m almost sure 80% of the pple chanting pro-life here have had or supported an abortion at some point P.S,you’re not pro-life or pro-abortion if you’ve never been confronted by an unwanted pregnancy

    Posted by Joy | June 22, 2011, 12:49 pm
  153. Apollogies for the long post.
    Prevention is better than Cure!!
    Shit happens, bt shit can also be prevented! The fact that a foetus is nt yet a person that u can see,touch n form memories with does not make it less of a life. There r thousands of preventive measures, Why put ur self in a catch 22 where u have to choose btw murder and bringing a child in to suffer because of ur mistakes/carelessness? Unprotected sex is so sweet, n ofcourse, shit happens, so hello, GO ON THE FUCKING PILL! Daily/weekly PREVENTIVE (not morning-after)BirthControl pills r not expensive when compared to the cost brazilian remy hair or fake hermes bags n I dnt understand why they aren’t big here like in the west and I blame the gov. And pharm companies. Contraceptives can be taken after rape, n if the mother’s health is at risk then abortion is morally, legally n socially justifiable. Other than that please let’s all stop hiding behind the cloak of ‘it was a mistake’/’shit happens’ n take control of our lives, futures n destiny n do the right-fucking thing.
    Prevention is better than cure!
    Ps: this means I’m pro-life bt also pro-consequences; no matter how u spin it, when u abort u murder. And when u bring a child in to suffer, its on you too.

    Posted by READ THIS | June 22, 2011, 12:49 pm
  154. Nice to see Preyingmantis making such a positive contribution after all. Nice one (y)

    Posted by awizii | June 22, 2011, 12:53 pm
  155. Good point man! Light at the end of the tunnel… How many cases though?

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | June 22, 2011, 12:59 pm
  156. At the same time you’re asking if it’s right to bring a child into hardship in this world because the child was still suffering at the age of 16, lemme remind you that enough success stories in life had such different fortunes at the age of 16.I am still very much PRO-LIFE. My name is Seyi.

    Posted by TheExtrovertKid | June 22, 2011, 1:00 pm
  157. IMO, most of you pro-life people are just being unnecessarily judgmental. You ‘seen’ or ‘heard of’ a situation where such-and-such happened. But have you experienced it? Were you raped when you were in SS3 and just 15 years old, gotten pregnant and had to make the decision whether or not to keep the child? Or gotten pregnant your first year in the university because you got high and some guys decided to have their way with you? Anything can happen at any time. NO CONTRACEPTIVE IS A 100% SURE. Did you know you can still get pregnant if you’re on the pill and you take antibiotics? if you can sincerely say that if you somehow wound up pregnant now, and the father bails, and your present circumstances aren’t at all favorable for a pregnancy, you’d still keep the child, then that’s awesome. I’m not saying abortion isn’t murder, or a sin. I’m not saying it’s 100% right. I’m just saying there are times in life you have to make tough decisions. And yes, the choice is still yours. No one else’s. It may seem selfish, but if my choosing to bring an innocent soul into a life of discomfort and instability is a bad thing to you, then so be it.

    Posted by cecenostockings | June 22, 2011, 1:00 pm
  158. why would u prevent the fertilisation of the egg? does that not mean ‘killing’ (according to #teamprolife) because you had ‘insider information’ that a baby would be formed? i actually respect the view of dem pro-life ppl but at times, their arguments and positions are just so ridiculous…

    I believe there is a middle ground in this hard-lined Pr-choice vs. pro-life stance and even at that, it is more pro-choice than pro-life….

    Posted by Chairman | June 22, 2011, 1:01 pm
  159. First off, I don’t think the problem in this story was whether abortion was the answer or not. It was that they took wrong decisions all through their lives, marrying and what-not at such an immature age. It was that the woman had no inner strength to pick up her life from where she left it off to provide for herself and her children.

    If she had started selling puff-puff or became a house-girl/nanny or worked two jobs and earned an online degree, and her kids had gone to school and became great kids, y’all would have been having second opinions.

    Circumstances should never play you. Recognize your mistakes and failings, and PICK IT UP from there. Once you’ve had sex and conceived that kid, you have no right to make life decisions for him. No. None whatsoever.

    If you’ve done abortions before and you’re reading these comments and you feel bad, pele. Deal with it. Hope your decision worked out well for you though. I feel morally obligated to say that.

    My name is Adaobi Arinze and I’m unabashedly pro-life. Sorry, Preyingmantis.

    Posted by Slim | June 22, 2011, 1:02 pm
  160. Pro_choice everything in life starts with a decision a direct result of the choices we make….the choice comes before the baby(life) she chose to sleep with him and even keep the baby, same way she chose to marry him. It has always been about the choices we make, it defines our journey through life. I just made mine by deciding to comment on this post.

    Posted by cHukwu | June 22, 2011, 1:02 pm
  161. So is abstinence the right thing to do regardless?

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 22, 2011, 1:03 pm
  162. lol.. na real vex be dis oooo

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 1:03 pm
  163. That said, I won’t be so hypocritical as to judge people who’ve had to make the tough decision of abort an unwanted pregnancy. In the end, an opinion is just that..an opinion.

    Posted by TheExtrovertKid | June 22, 2011, 1:03 pm
  164. …sigh.

    Temporary like she just really needed to get him out of her mind/life and not just kill an innocent baby.

    Posted by shawlarchitunde | June 22, 2011, 1:04 pm
  165. Some of the people screaming pro-life on here are being extremely self-righteous.

    First of all a fetus that’s less then 3 weeks old is NOT a human being. Don’t try and rationalize it. It’s not. It doesn’t have a soul, it doesn’t have a brain, it doesn’t have appendages, it is just potential. So you can not classify that as murder. What exactly is the point of bringing a child into the world if the child is just going to suffer. There’s nothing worse for me than seeing children with no homes, children selling groundnut on the streets, 3 year olds begging for money, children being beating (not the regular spanking from parents) because they’re living with angry, frustrated parents. Nigeria is not a developed country. You think there’s a big market for adoption, in the sense that there are establishments to take care of your baby? False. I’ve been to over 10 motherless babies homes in this country and not ONE of them was up to my personal standard of good care for children. Small rooms with over 20 children crammed in, sick children that can’t get treatment because these establishments don’t have enough support.

    Remember Betty’s story (I think yesterdays post)? What’s the point of bringing a child into the world if you’re just going to hate it and then raise the child to be in turn hateful? Why do that to an innocent soul who didn’t set out to ruin your life. Most women when raped (in regards to Itunu’s point) are not able to love a child that came out of that horrific act because every time they look at the child all they will remember is when they were violated and they will continually lash out at that constant reminder. Yes. On some rare occasions they may love the child and see it as their “silver-lining” but those occasions are rare.

    I’m pro-choice. I don’t think abortion is right but I think every woman depending on her circumstance has a right to decide what to do with her body without being judged by anyone. If you don’t want to commit “murder”, have the baby and then give it away. Don’t put a helpless child through a horrible situation just because you’re to weak and selfish to deal with the guilt of terminating a pregnancy.

    Pro-choice does NOT = Pro-abortion. It simply means we feel that every woman has a right to CHOOSE as an individual.

    Posted by Mz. T | June 22, 2011, 1:06 pm
  166. As I read all these comments, it pains my heart. Nothing against pro-life folks, but some of you need to get off your high horses. You all talk about abstinence, safe sex, condoms, pills, etc. Well sometimes life fucks you up even though you did what was necessary, it didn’t work. That was the case I found myself in. I used the pill and it failed me. Should I have then said that’s my lot in life and bring a child into the world when I’m not ready? It was my life, my body and my choice. Some of you might say I was a coward, but I got an abortion. I’m not proud of it, and it will probably hunt me for life, but I do not regret it. If I had to go back in time, I would do the same thing. Until you are in the position, you cannot judge.
    I am pro-choice and that does not make me anti-life.

    Posted by Just me | June 22, 2011, 1:07 pm
  167. Lol. Aisha why are calling me back here again? You know, the fortune of every child, whether almost killed at birth or allowed to live is in God’s hands. You could escape being aborted and still be chopped by a lion in the forest. Let God make that choice. Like yeah, my point was that sometimes (sometimes O) babies born during terribly inconvenient circumstances turn out to be great men and women. Aisha I wonder why the ability to harm a developing human should be a medical skill. (personal opinion for private discussion).

    P.S. Lions cannot swim!

    Posted by highlandblue | June 22, 2011, 1:12 pm
  168. I ll like to add that some peole need to be reminded (or enlightened) dat married women also do abortions.

    Posted by kankey | June 22, 2011, 1:16 pm
  169. Dis is a valid point tho

    Posted by djabbarish | June 22, 2011, 1:16 pm
  170. Look! The hell are most of u guys going on and on about sex and the consequences for?? There’s been one lingering point here! And nobody has exactly done justice to that point! And that is RAPE! I don’t count that statistics thing as valid tho! What happens to the 1 woman out of 100 or something that can’t deal with this trauma?? What should she do? Plus I agree with Aisha on the moses scenario btw! Who wld u have blamed on the moses story?? I am totally pro-life! (With reasonable explanations)

    Posted by me me! | June 22, 2011, 1:21 pm
  171. I’ll ask this question again, when does life really begin? (Cuz I’m seeing a bunch of shallow minded, ignorant hypocrites. Excuse me for sounding so harsh). Is it when the sperm fertilizes the egg? Or after implantation? Or after the newborn’s first breath?

    Contraceptive pills have been proven to be abortifacient (i.e., induce abortion). Postinor 2 among other things, prevents a fertilized egg from being implanted in the womb. That’s okay right? So now life begins when a “baby” attaches itself to the womb, not when an egg is fertilized.

    By the way, conception is the fertilization of an egg by a sperm cell. Implantation occurs when the fertilized egg attaches to the womb. Conception is the beginning of pregnancy, not implantation.

    Sometimes you suffer guilt because your mind has been conditioned to see something as wrong. Surgery hurts, doesn’t it? But does it leave you with guilt feelings? Yet thousands or millions of “babies” are being killed but nobody feels any guilt because they don’t know.

    Quit giving hard and fast answers to certain issues.

    Posted by Glory | June 22, 2011, 1:24 pm
  172. Plus yh!! Most of u going on about pro-life.. U know those lebanese kid on the road, in the last 2years! How many of u have made an attempt to do something positive for @ least 1 of them or their mother… Errm she chose pro-life u know?

    Posted by me me! | June 22, 2011, 1:25 pm
  173. Two wrongs won’t make anything right…
    First “wrong” being having sex when you’re not supposed to be having sex.

    Posted by newbie | June 22, 2011, 1:26 pm
  174. Pro-choice… Like JustMe said, life sometimes screws you over. The after-pill didn’t work. As I laid my choices before me, I realised bringing an unwanted (unwanted by the person responsible) child to the world would be a greater mistake…an abortion was inevitable. Yes, I feel sad about it but it was for the best…

    Posted by beth | June 22, 2011, 1:28 pm
  175. Kk 😀

    Posted by Glory | June 22, 2011, 1:32 pm
  176. And yea every1 is pro choice…..y’all just dunno it yet. Its easier to pick sides wen u r not in d situation, plus keeping the child is also a choice. Just saying…

    Posted by nenny | June 22, 2011, 1:34 pm
  177. That’s it! End of story. U’ve hit the nail bang on its head. Simply put, if u’ve neva been in that position, really, ur contribution is invalid. Yes, invalid…sue me!

    Posted by wordsofanaries | June 22, 2011, 1:35 pm
  178. I’ve read through all the comments, and there are compelling arguments for both sides.

    Let us not allow morality cloud our logic though.

    Trying to make this an either/or argument unnecessarily polarises things. Most people will prefer to have a child, rather than abort it.

    For me, it’s life (most times), adoption and abortion in that order. All options are on the table. Always.

    Posted by je_mc2 | June 22, 2011, 1:38 pm
  179. All of u quoting prevention methods,we all went to school so we are aware of all that.Let’s all pray that we won’t be in situations where we’d have to make choices that’ll make the society judge us harshly….with these things,u never know!
    As for Sophia, in as much as I don’t want to judge her,I will!Pregnancy shouldn’t be a reason for marriage.Its not a criteria for choosing d man u’ll get to spend d rest of ur life with.And even when she realised the level of his irresponsibility,she not only married him but also took in for him a 2nd time…and without getting a job?Cammaaan…That’s just absolute stupidity!

    Posted by Cyntinnet | June 22, 2011, 1:39 pm
  180. Its sooo easy to be Pro-life if you’ve never been pregnant and didn’t want it. Wait till it happens to you or your girlfriend. Shouting pro-life when you’ve never really been in a situation were you had to choose is (sorry to say) plain bullshit.

    Posted by Anon-Pro choice | June 22, 2011, 1:41 pm
  181. First time im commenting on any post… well im very much pro choice… i dnt knw when people say things like you can give up the child for adoption… is it easy to bring a child to dis world and give the child away, the mother would like suffer some psychological trauma.. either with the abortion or even an adoption,.. but im thinking with an abortion she would heal faster. Yes people are sometims stupid, yes people make mistakes , Yes people like unprotected sex cos its sweeeeet.. we are all human beings and no one should suffer for our stupidity. In the event of rape what happens?? Still prolife?? nah… Although based on religious ethics abortion is a sin … but GOD forgives.. and if u abort a child due to rape.. GOD would forgive and know it was due to circumstances beyond ones control.

    Regardless im pro choice.. i believe in makn wise choices on the long runn doesnt mean i would like to kill a child …

    Posted by TB.. | June 22, 2011, 1:42 pm
  182. This is one debate I hate to get involved in becos majority of the participants don’t qualify to join in. If u do not hav a womb, u therefor do not hav an opinion! Same goes for those who hav never had a pregnancy scare or never even had sex. This is because u never know until u live it, until u suddenly have to take stock and realise ur child wld b better off dead… that’s the cold hard truth

    A dear friend came to me in 2007 in tears, and she asked me quite simply “how do I take care of a baby?” The circumstances surrounding her pregnancy were in no way special. Shit just happened! we had both been out of jobs so long and seriously considering moving back to naija. The idea of starting over was bad enough but being pregnant meant she won’t b able to work for long befor she’d hav to quit and not go back for months. I knew what she needed to do but had to let her come to that decision herself and she did. She had nothing to offer a child, she had nothing period!

    The pro-lifers like to argue adoption… Has anyone of u visited a an orphanage recently? How come those kids haven’t been adopted yet? U say there r pple looking for kids out there, well u fail to add that those pple havent visited these homes becos they want kids of their own, their own blood! My aunt waited till she hit menopause befor she took the leap. Let’s be real here pple.

    Then they say, a child shd hav a choice. Well do they hav a choice when they r adopted by abusive pple, or used for rituals or r trapped in a life of poverty & sexual abuse, producing mor children… Vicious cycle! And it all stems frm one irrational choice that had mor to do with other pples opinions than morals.

    Its ok to sit on ur high horse and say face the consequences, but I still see pro-lifers hav sex, I bet y’all use the morning after pill. What do u think they use for early stage abortions? A pill was all it took for my friend. Sayin u wldnt b here if ur mother wasn’t pro-choice wld mean she was faced with that decision, I will assume she was, otherwise its an invalid point. Its different when u want and r ready for a child. Truth is, when it hits u out of the blue, the fact that u r going to hav to watch out for another life – u r forced to take a good hard look at urself. If u r totally honest, sometimes u will recognise that a child deserves better.

    Only disillusioned women will allow other pples opinion matter in this situation. The choice shd be personal becos all these pple shouting every child deserves to live, these pple will not contribute in anyway. They cannot help thru morning sickness, swollen feet and labour. They will be nowher to be found when u need to pay the rent or buy diapers. This includes the father becos even when a child is planned for, u can never be entirely sure that it will alright.

    Somethings shd not be up for debate, its a personal choice, one that u shd be able to live with

    (This is why I don’t comment on blogs)

    Posted by shirlz | June 22, 2011, 1:43 pm
  183. All the pro life peeps..u rilly cnt b sure of wt u’l do until you find ur sef in that situation.Biologically, the fetus does not develop its own blood till 20-22 days after fertilization, so i don’t think its a big deal if its being taken care of within that period.I have never bin in such situation n i pray never to be.If it happens, i’m sorry… i’m gonn go Pro-Choice n deal with it for the rest of my life. PS:The rape victims r inexcusable,the 1st thing a rape victim shd do is visit the hospital within 72hrs of the evil act and get it flushed, so if she allows it to grow…its her P!

    Posted by bukiola | June 22, 2011, 1:44 pm
  184. Just to put it out there, what about the already married couples that decide on an abortion when they know they do not want another child?. Most people think abortions only happen out of wedlock or rape. You would be surprised the stats on people who are already married that opt for an abortion.
    I am pro-choice because you never know what a persons situation is.

    Posted by Loolie | June 22, 2011, 1:45 pm
  185. This is a tough one to choose…..religiously its pro-life as abortion is murder. On the other hand why bring a child into the world when you knw you cannot take care of the child. Why make a child suffer for your own foolish mistake? I’ve an aunt that used to be pro-choice,she became pro-life had a beautiful baby evn though the father of the baby denied the child, she could take care of him financially but ddnt have the time to take care of him by herself. The child is moved from one relative to the other while my aunt provides the capital used in taking care of the boy. That’s no way for a child to live. A child shld be brought up in love,care,laughter and happiness by their parents,if nt there is a psychological gap.
    I say…..depending on the situation…….you think you’ll be there for your child and give them the best in life? Then pro-life. You knw life will be tough for the child and he/she wld complicate your life and the child will be deprived of a sound childhood? Pro-choice them. My opinion

    Posted by chisom | June 22, 2011, 1:48 pm
  186. There r lots of grey areas. I’m pro choice; This argument reminds me of staunch catholics (who r prolife by default, and who believe contraception is is as good as abortion). They abort, very high percentage, might I add. Society, upbringing religion etc impose different ideologies on us, but that don’t mean whatever they say is amen. Choose what u want?!
    We should stop this talk about contraceptives, don’t have sex till u r married bs. The question is “IF U R PREGGER, WHAT R U GONNA DO? As usual, people comment and remix d question dt was asked….. Make their comment suit d question in their head. Most pple talking about not having sex if u are not ready for a baby r doing same; how about practising what you preach. What if u are engaged d and ur fiance ex-es u weeks to ur wedding, do u preach “don’t have irresponsible sex to the girl?”
    Its easy to tell stories to back up both stances, but till u r preggers in a bad situation; don’t judge.
    I’m prochoice, but I don’t support recreational abortion. But still as said earlier, every situation is unique and requires a different approach.

    Posted by niyoo | June 22, 2011, 1:50 pm
  187. well said…everybody will go moral on u but no one will contribute a dine to assist u…9months all by ur sef b4 the main job of nursing starts. …They Tell you God will provide, some even tell u ‘the head of the baby is gonn bring goodluck’……i call it bullshit…..if u re gonn have unprotected sex, b sure u r ready to bear wtever comes after.Diapers aint cheap, baby food, school fees et ‘al

    Posted by bukiola | June 22, 2011, 1:53 pm
  188. Nice advert @ the end! But true word!

    Posted by mamalaw | June 22, 2011, 1:56 pm
  189. Everyone seems to think this is about condemning. Funny tho, from a neutral point, I think the pro-choice guys and girls are being more forceful. No one should be condemned for sex before marriage, for abortion after sex or for anything. Why waste time on that?

    That aside, if you had consensual sex like in the story, should you not expect a result called pregnancy? I mean, somehow the possibility is always there even if you use protection. I will try not to have sex, God helping me, until I am ready to deal with the consequences responsibly. What do you guys think? Is human life not worth waiting till you’re ready? I am pro-choice. I choose to abstain.

    Posted by highlandblue | June 22, 2011, 1:58 pm
  190. This was an interesting read and a topic for debate among even medical practitioners most especially moralists and religious ones. To all those who are so quick to shout use postinor and other methods of contraception, as a Dr I can tell you that these things have quite adverse effects on your health. More serious than you can imagine and of course the women are on the receiving end. I personally am Pro – Common sense ! If you arent ready to face the consequences of having sex then please dont ! I am of the opinion that abortion should be reserved for medical reasons something like opiods,legal when used medically but abused when used indiscrimiately !

    Posted by Dr Peperempe | June 22, 2011, 1:59 pm
  191. Toolsman, can you even read all these comments?

    Posted by Luciano | June 22, 2011, 2:02 pm
  192. Lol. No comment

    Posted by Taiwo | June 22, 2011, 2:04 pm
  193. I am pro-life.
    The only reasonable justification in my books to abort a pregnancy is to save the mother’s life.
    If you’re going to do the things that you want to do then you have to bear the consequences that they bring!
    A life is a life. No one has the right to determine if its worth living.
    A child is a child. No matter the circumstances surrounding his/her birth.
    If you can’t do the time then why the hell are you doing the crime.
    Dominic and Crystal deserve better. Sandra and Jerome didn’t do well.
    The thing is most of think we live for today and for ourselves.
    No,we live for tomorrow and for our children.

    Posted by missbeemuse | June 22, 2011, 2:06 pm
  194. hahahaha! this is funny… very twisted mind

    Posted by Radeyo | June 22, 2011, 2:10 pm
  195. WOW! This argument could go on and on. I think it’s safe to say, to each his own. This is one argument where I always sit on the fence. I hope never to be in a situation where I have to test that decision.

    Victor, I admire you greatly for your comment.

    I am ChinnyDiva and I’m pro-abstinence. Don’t chook it if you can’t wean it.

    P.S. I’m also a virgin. 😀

    Posted by ChinnyDiva | June 22, 2011, 2:11 pm
  196. i certainly see why u dont… u end up posting a post in the post :)….

    Posted by kblewin | June 22, 2011, 2:13 pm

    Posted by iUtchay | June 22, 2011, 2:14 pm
  198. @Highlandblue….good for u, u chose to abstain but u know it takes the special grace of God to do dat n not everyone has that grace.There is nothing forceful abt the pro-choice folks, we r jst trying to face life as it is and not as it ought to be…..its called pro-common sense
    ps: i like your comments

    Posted by bukiola | June 22, 2011, 2:16 pm
  199. I am back again.
    If that baby will upset your life,take it out.
    Who are you fooling?
    Hei,,have u all gone through hypotension’morning sickness,labour,antenatal,immunisations,hospital stays?
    The stories on the comments are too long.
    If you have ever been faced with that decision talk.
    If you havent,go get knocked up
    And p.s I will help for free.

    Posted by dr lois | June 22, 2011, 2:16 pm
  200. Chinnydiva na to find u and use u for rituals na.no p

    Posted by dr lois | June 22, 2011, 2:18 pm
  201. Pro choice is leaving… Cast your votes now.
    Election ends in a bit

    Posted by 2ndelawal | June 22, 2011, 2:19 pm
  202. Pro – Choice only because shit happens.
    LagosHunter is a brilliant writer.

    Posted by creamandcoffee | June 22, 2011, 2:19 pm
  203. Leader? Abortionherb? Wharrahapuned?

    Posted by kola | June 22, 2011, 2:24 pm
  204. LOL.. no comments mehn.

    Posted by H•A•W | June 22, 2011, 2:24 pm
  205. Why should they assist you? Did you call their name when you were kpanshing??

    That’s why you should never have something as commiting as sex with someone who can’t commit to you.

    Posted by Slim | June 22, 2011, 2:29 pm
  206. It can be argued that it is…I’ll research on the Catholic justification and brb…

    Posted by temiville | June 22, 2011, 2:31 pm

    Posted by Kehinde Alagbe | June 22, 2011, 2:32 pm
  208. OMG such wisdom *a hug and kiss for you*. I was thinking the same thing when i read this, this is what happens when you have sex without really thinking it through. If u read the fine print on the box of your trusted condom or contraceptive you’d see that it isn’t a 100%. I’m not asking everybody to abstain but sex is not a game for little children when u decide u are going to do the “do” u should realize that there is a probability that u could become parent as a result of it. I don’t think a human life should be stifled because you were acting in the moment and not thinking your decision through.
    But concerning the story I don’t think Sophie or is it Sophia’s (too lazy to scroll) life turned out that way because she didn’t get an abortion, but because she married a man just because she was having his baby …this is the real issue hear. What if she had her abortion and still married the guy? she would still be marrying the same abusive s.o.b her life would have still been miserable with him. pregnancy is about the stupidest of reasons to marry somebody, i have friends who are amazing fathers to their children and didn’t marry the mother of their child, they are there for their children physically, emotionally as well as financially (the first time i saw one of them break down in tears it was because his daughter was sick, and he is not an emotional person at all but his daughter brings out the best in him). My point is you don’t have to marry a man to be assured that he will take responsibility for his child, if he is a descent man he will man up and be responsibly father married or not.

    Posted by Vivian Obey | June 22, 2011, 2:39 pm
  209. Here’s a short poll. If you are a pro-life and are a woman this is for you. if you’re gang raped by 5 armed robbers/druggies and you will still keep the baby please reply to this comment. I know i won’t be surprised by the response….
    What’s LIFE without A fucking CHOICE for God’s sake???
    Which kind argument be this?

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | June 22, 2011, 2:42 pm
  210. The problem here is that people think that there are only two choices: Pro-Life and Pro-Choice. THERE ARE MORE CHOICES! Agreed, everything about life is based on choices, how about we all choose abstinence, trust me, its the easiest way to prevent having to make an extra choice of having to keep or not keep a baby. In the 21st century tho, abstinence holds no water, but then protected sex is always preached. The reason why people use protections of all forms in the 1st place is because from the moment they decide to have sex, they KNOW they are not ready to get pregnant. So Pro-Choice people, iThink y’all r d ones being two faced about all this. Save me the story of not being financially ready and yada yada, you know you are not and probably would not be financially ready n emotionally ready for a child say even for the next 4yrs and yet you decide to have sex and you come out saying it was a mistake???…Like seriously??
    Lagos Hunter said, “This post is dedicated to every woman who has been brave enough to make that hard decision to live with the GUILT of an abortion instead of making an unwanted/unplanned for child suffer”. So then, y’all agree with me that abortion leaves one with guilt. iUnderstand that in some cases abortion ‘seems’ to be the only other alternative, but then again no matter the circumstances under which one adopts a child, it would still leave the person feeling GUILTY. So it can be safely said that adoption is WRONG because we all agree that whatever leaves you feeling guilty is definitely wrong!
    There is always the choice of Adoption, do y’all kno d statistics of people that are looking for kids to adopt?? If iEver get raped, I’ll KEEP my child. My decision would not be on moral basis o but somehow, iDont feel I’ll feel hate for the innocent soul growing inside of me. Yea, iKnow you’ve got to have experienced rape to articulately be able to talk about it, but iKnow with all d genre’s of emotions that would run through me, there never would be hate for the child among them…And I’m saying this with a sane mind, call me weird!….Thank you Highlandblue, ‘Dania and Freshprinz!
    My name is ‘Roj, and iAm unashamedly Pro-Life and Pro-Adoption! Whoever said you must raise your child yourself??

    Posted by Thetoolswoman | June 22, 2011, 2:44 pm
  211. PEOPLE!!!!!!! EASY!!!!



    OYA \________ REST!

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | June 22, 2011, 2:45 pm
  212. *sighs heavily*

    Posted by Chicasa | June 22, 2011, 2:47 pm
  213. No they dont, the only pill that might be seen in this way is the morning after pill.and even that pill doesnt simply makes your body believe its already fertilised. The normal pill PREVENTS pregnancy by closing the ovaries to stop fetilisation taking place. If there is another pill that does anything then I stand corrected.

    Posted by perfect imperfectionist | June 22, 2011, 2:50 pm

    Posted by dammydiva | June 22, 2011, 2:54 pm
  215. I’m a PROfessional in all choices though

    Posted by 2ndelawal | June 22, 2011, 2:55 pm
  216. weed and vodka?….LMAO….ode ni e

    Posted by Master Sushey | June 22, 2011, 2:57 pm
  217. If only people will realise that there is no seperate hell for a murderer,no seperate fire for a hoe and no mild burn for a thief, maybe we’ll be a little less judgemental about issues,

    I’m pro-choice.
    Its unfair to bring an unwanted child to this world. Its hard enough for those with loving parents and supporting systems.

    Life is not fair. So for y’all talking about sex and consequences who knows,that might be you tommorow.

    Posted by Funke | June 22, 2011, 3:04 pm
  218. I’m not even gonna bother reading the comments…over 200 already…hian.
    Frankly I’m Pro-Life cos that’s what the Bible teaches. However, there are some extreme cases where I would advise abortion. Example, a father rapes his daughter and she becomes pregnant; there’s no way I’d be pro-life for that…there are just too many complications in that instance. The case above however isn’t one of the ones I would be pro-abortion over. I know it sounds harsh but I think the girl was stupid to put her entire life in the hands of someone she knew wasn’t driven enough to sort out his life, talk less of hers and their baby’s.
    This is a sad sad tale mehn. *drops the mic and picks his bottle of Zobo Classic*

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 22, 2011, 3:06 pm
  219. pro choice! it is not my wish to see a child suffer, not to talk of my own child. if you are not going to take care of the child, then why bring him or her into this already complicated world.
    taking care of a child is a huge responsibility, they should have settled down before getting pregnant, hence the preaching of staying safe and using protection. If she had a job and the guy did the same thing he did, she would not be this kind of mess.
    Its a really sad situation, but the deed has been done.. it is left for her to pick up the pieces and try and complete the puzzle.

    Posted by HERMOSAFLOR | June 22, 2011, 3:12 pm
  220. “So it can be safely said that adoption is WRONG because we all agree that whatever leaves you feeling guilty is definitely wrong!”

    You meant abortion here right…cos I was getting kinda confused.

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 22, 2011, 3:13 pm
  221. There’s really no way she would haave known jerome would end up that way. Some people with messed up family backgrounds still turn out right.

    Posted by bykerboi | June 22, 2011, 3:20 pm
  222. I will also like to add our very own Cobhams Asuquo who is a very talented individual to the list.

    Posted by crystalclearwords | June 22, 2011, 3:20 pm
  223. *drops the bottle of Zobo Classic and doesn’t even hear as it shatters on the concrete floor. He suddenly rushes to grab his “brother”*
    Bruv…I love you mehn…that’s all I can say. I love you mehn…*looks around at any who dares talk*

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 22, 2011, 3:28 pm
  224. Pro-Life

    Posted by mizzkenzo | June 22, 2011, 3:30 pm
  225. i sincerely dont pray for any girl who isnt ready for a child to get pregnant….whoever has been in such condition will know its not an easy thing. its not even about being selfish….how will the child survive? i think abortion will be a problem or will be completely wrong if d girl nd d boy will be able to take care of d baby conveniently but they choose to abort. thats all i ave to say. i am for pro-choice.

    Posted by beesohlah | June 22, 2011, 3:32 pm
  226. Gbam!!! No matter what ur position/ situation u find yourself, ud always have a choice.

    Posted by bykerboi | June 22, 2011, 3:34 pm
  227. After reading victors comment… The post ended for ♍ƺ……. I’m pro ℓife…..& stories like victor’s is. Why

    Posted by lade | June 22, 2011, 3:39 pm
  228. I’m definitely pro-life. I feel thewrong exposure about sex is to blame and the selfish culture of I,I and I. Even if you love someone, thinking ahead maybe 10yrs down d line should give u a clear picture and help u decide if u wanna go to the hilt with this person or not. That’s y I’m of d old school mentality: don’t fake a commitment wit her just to bed her. Its sad that at the end of the day Women end up suffering in all these. I’m old school and believe in sticking to one woman, once we bedding trust me I aint going nowhere. Its high time we start protecting women from such heartaches and become real men

    Posted by funbi crown | June 22, 2011, 3:39 pm
  229. Valid point u av there but i have learnt always to be objective. Life is a choice, every one has their idealism’s and opinions. I would say make your choice and live with the decision as a realist… But if I decide to go religious I would advice otherwise. #SIGH. Life is hard and filled with many hard choices.

    Posted by crystalclearwords | June 22, 2011, 3:42 pm
  230. Rape victims have access to plan b/postinor…..no??? If u are raped by 5 ppl, u shud b grateful if d only thing u end up wit is a kid. It’ll b d least tin u’ll b worried about trust me.

    Posted by mimi | June 22, 2011, 3:47 pm
  231. as long as ur ready to do the “do” u have to take responsibility of whatever comes after.. i wont judge nebody cos obviously i dont know how it hurts.. im not wearing the shoe.. but IMO bout the story sohia dint really have to get married to Jerome.. sometimes u really need to use ur head. She chose not to abort but she also chose to marry him.. i think that was d stupid part.. lets not drift away from the topic people.

    Posted by opeTeddy | June 22, 2011, 3:53 pm
  232. Definitely Pro-choice, there is no point in having a child that you are not able to take care of, and the foster system isn’t that great either so they end up suffering both ways unless they are really lucky. Taking care of a child is a huge responsibility, bringing a child into this world to suffer is also unethical. It is just like saying you know you are going to give birth to a really really sick child and you still go on and have the baby and watch it suffer, it isn’t fair to the baby and it is fair to you as well. so having the choice to abort the baby makes sense.

    Posted by Funsho | June 22, 2011, 4:02 pm
  233. i am neither pro-life or pro-choice……i enjoy playing pro-11 sha……i am so so so sorry….GOODNITE!!!!

    Posted by Giammatti | June 22, 2011, 4:05 pm
  234. Very spot on. Thank you!

    Posted by book-ey | June 22, 2011, 4:09 pm
  235. inserts *nor* 😦

    Posted by Giammatti | June 22, 2011, 4:09 pm
  236. Exactly!

    Posted by book-ey | June 22, 2011, 4:10 pm
  237. Gidimallam, yea, iMeant abortion…#Typo.

    Posted by Thetoolswoman | June 22, 2011, 4:10 pm
  238. figured…just wanted to be sure…

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 22, 2011, 4:14 pm
  239. figured…just wanted to be sure…

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 22, 2011, 4:14 pm
  240. It’s good to have guys that think like you still moving among the common lot. Thank you! Pro choice? WHAT is that, really!? Put yourself in the same situation for a second y’ll who are reckoning with ‘pro choice’.

    Posted by book-ey | June 22, 2011, 4:15 pm
  241. Thanks for being trustful

    Posted by jstdwayifeel | June 22, 2011, 4:16 pm
  242. *standing ovation to you*…Exactly! A mere temporary (maybe convenient) solution that might breed more sever permanent consequences so WHY do it! Why not just, abstain till you’re ready for a child and all that comes with that responsibility. *Sigh*

    Posted by book-ey | June 22, 2011, 4:18 pm
  243. Lol. Always happens on Wales blog eh. He creates room for other off topic discussions.

    Posted by book-ey | June 22, 2011, 4:19 pm
  244. Firstly lemme say abortion is WRONG! Yes we all know it is,
    even the bible said ”none shall cast their young”. .
    BUT we were given freewill to choose btw right and wrong, choose what we want for ourselves.
    So Exercise ur freewill d way u want it.

    Lemme share 2 stories to support my view;

    1st story
    Ok, lemme say that my sis got pregnant 4her boyfriend,(morning-after pills ddnt work, she had scanty periods for 3months, she missed her period when she was 4months in; d symptoms; fever, nausea ddnt show).
    she ddnt WANT the baby but she couldnt bring herself to abort it either.when we found out, it was a painful period in d family, wit the ”what wud pple say” ”we are christians, dis doesnt look good” ”our family reputation will be tainted” fear.. (mind you, my dad is d type u think wud throw u out of d house if u shud get pregnant n my mom is a busy woman so no time 4 u if wan born pikin kip for house)
    but somehow, we all stuck it out, supported her, my ”strict” parents showed her love n support and she had d baby; a boy! That was 5yrs ago.
    Today she has a masters, great job and she’s getting married in December (not to the father of my nephew).

    2nd Story,

    the guy i was dating was pressuring me for sex cos am teamabstinence. He knows my sister’s story, knows am pro-life.
    I asked him if i get pregnant, will he be ready to father a child (not get married to me but take responsibility), he said no! But he cannot marry a girl he hasnt ”tasted” and that no man wants to marry a virgin; as in men wanna know if she can perform.

    the relationship is not worth the pain to my family and myself..
    We are history today!

    I admire my sister’s courage but i do not have that kinda stamina.
    I’d rather not have sex, esp wit a guy hu will not take responsibility but will want to ”taste” me n see if i can perform.

    So Single Ladies, be wise.. You r entitled to choose what you want..

    PRO LIFE And

    Choose what you can handle..

    Posted by ProAbstinence! | June 22, 2011, 4:26 pm
  245. erm…to all of u who’s blood temperatures have reached the boiling point of steel…you can like to go and “shill” out with @KevinWithAnL’s latest blog post…just thot I should let y’all know this free of charge…*goes back to sippin his Zobo Endorphins*

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 22, 2011, 4:26 pm
  246. Point is if u get knocked up! U dnt have to marry the guy. There are a lot of successful single moms out there. Some of them are the celebrities you admire! So whats the hassle?
    No person papa and mama strict pass my own but they supported my sis.. Thats what parental love is about; bringing up ur kids the way they shud go but when they stray and make mistakes; you reach out and love them knowing they’ve learnt their lessons and are wiser..

    But issokay if you re PRO CHOiCE, ur entitled to decide what u want! And not every situation is the same.

    Pple just express your views;
    but do not force it down another person’s throat.
    Everybody has a limit to what they can handle.

    Posted by ProAbstinence! | June 22, 2011, 4:34 pm
  247. Y’all niggas and bitches up here just be trippin. If a nigga wanna ride upside his chick, Its all good. If a a lil shorty get created cuz of that shit, then it upt to the dude and his chick to keep it or bust a cap in its ass.
    Most of y’all talking shit here aint even been on the right end of a pussy before yo. Y’all dont know what that shit feel like, its fucking amazing. A nigga can forget himself in there yo.
    Anyway, I’m against abortion tho. I mean, my momma cudda killed me yo. Practise some safe sex or just fuck the bitch in her ass. Aint no one i know got preggies from a good butt fuck.

    In summary:
    1. Let the fuckers decide
    2. Virgins should shut the fuck up
    3. Fuck the bitch in the butt

    Riley out.

    Posted by Riley | June 22, 2011, 4:39 pm
  248. LOOOOL ahahahahahaha

    Posted by Zara | June 22, 2011, 4:43 pm
  249. E no go better for this Riley o….Chai!

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | June 22, 2011, 4:53 pm
  250. RILEY LOOOOOL STANDING OVA NUGGAH I FEEL YAH! *insert gangsterlicious voice*

    Posted by OYE | June 22, 2011, 4:53 pm
  251. Do not deal with the baby. Deal with what led to having a baby before marriage….. Fornication. Abortion is a no no…… If ur doctor says u need the abortion to live, is he God? if u do not believe in the power of God go on and have d abortion. U fit still die sef. U r wrong either ways. Pls don’t gimme that line about rape and all. Did d child rape u? Gan kill who raped u. Sonia’s mistake was marring Jerome not having Dominic or Crystal. Do what u must not to conceive buh wen u do, give birth to dat child. Abortion hurts the person committing it more than the aborted child. Traumatic much. No excuse on these comments and yet to come will justify an abortion. *gulps NutriC*

    Posted by Yvonne | June 22, 2011, 4:53 pm
  252. There’s always a choice…and that choice is to be WISE…from day one..you’ll know if you’re going to be pro life or pro choice…are you wise enough to know where/how you’ll end up…(Now I know how jesus felt when he dropped some yarns)…chuckin’ my john lennon “two’s” up!!…

    Posted by mr I'm out of this world | June 22, 2011, 4:58 pm
  253. Pls I just have so much respect for pro abstinence…… *doffing hat*

    Posted by Yvonne | June 22, 2011, 4:58 pm
  254. Funbi Crown’s comment pretty much sums it all up for me- God bless U, tripleGBAM!!!! Whether pro-life or pro-choice, it all boils down to the fact that sex is a big deal and with huge consequences and should be treated as such. It’s high time we ladies wake-up and brace-up, because unfortunately it’s a man’s world (atleast, regarding issues like this) and if they won’t protect us, we best protect ourselves. That Is All.

    Posted by QT | June 22, 2011, 4:59 pm
  255. I have a question, i am a christian and all, everyone that is pro-life and quoting the bible and all if you have a child you cant raise, would the bible raise the child, i dnt mean to sound naive but most people are taking it out of context, try reading the whole passage before you use the bible as a reference.

    Posted by Trololol | June 22, 2011, 5:00 pm
  256. Ahn ahnnn. See comments. Oh well, I am PRO-CHOICE. If you are not mentally, emotionally and financially ready, I don’t think u shuld have a baby. Except u dint know and it was too late when u found out. But if u know and u r not ready, I think its best to make THAT choice. Why make a child suffer for ur sexual mistake?
    She dint have to marry him, marriage isn’t a solution to pregnancy.

    Posted by msyewieo | June 22, 2011, 5:05 pm
  257. Riley….oloshi ni eh ohhhh….

    I love you…..marry me pls 🙂

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | June 22, 2011, 5:09 pm
  258. meeeeeeeeen anyways…”NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU PERMIT” that’s just it!……for me @UCHEUGO i will so keep my baby but always ask diff people, “You in a relationship, why you into that relationship???” i just believe people should have a cogent reason for doing boyfriend and girlfriend thingy…iMean you just don’t jump into relationship because everyone is having one thing or the other or something of sort.

    I don’t know if am outta the story up there just saying my own kinda view on the whole ish… really sad she had to go through all that!!! as i said, am of a opinion of keeping my baby and 1month to the RELATIONSHIP am so gonna DEFINE my RELATIONSHIP else if she isn’t serious, i will opt gently…the worst thingy is to “WASTE PEOPLE’S TIME” on one thing you know u aren’t ready for..so iThink relationship should be “DEFINED” it will so help alot.
    Note if u defined your relationship, iBet ya when that lady is pregnant you will surely know what to do if to keep or abort…..simple
    just my 2cent of the story..

    Posted by @UCHEUGO | June 22, 2011, 5:11 pm
  259. Yall check that Riley character well, I suspect he/she has three penises with horns…*seals all holes In my temple*

    Posted by no1chick | June 22, 2011, 5:12 pm

    Posted by @UCHEUGO | June 22, 2011, 5:12 pm
  261. Screw d fact dat am a guy.Its Pro-Life anyday 4 me.Notn can make me support an Abortion.NO WAY

    Posted by Minoli | June 22, 2011, 5:15 pm
  262. I wsnt goin 2 comment but dis is jst pissin. 80 percent of u dnt evn knw d process involved in an abortion. 60 percent of u pro- lifers v never cm close 2 being in dat situation. And all 100 percent of u r jst hypocrites. The bible says its murder???? Wt did d bible say abt sex b4 marriage??? Funny hw u all forgt that part. If u r pro life, den be pro-abstinence period. Pro-choice, den feel free to murder. (Okay dts harsh)

    Posted by some girl | June 22, 2011, 5:22 pm
  263. it has simple as ABCD..PRO-LIFE noni!!!!

    Posted by @UCHEUGO | June 22, 2011, 5:26 pm
  264. GOD bless u!!!

    Posted by dddddd | June 22, 2011, 5:33 pm
  265. Gbamelations 1:1!

    Posted by tobicomm | June 22, 2011, 5:34 pm
  266. I will just re-iterate the sensible comment some people on here have made.. IF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN FACED WITH AN UNEXPECTED PREGNANCY THUS FACING THE DECISION TO BE “PRO-LIFE” OR “PRO-CHOICE”, PLEASE ZIP YOUR PIE-HOLE! Be like me and remain on the fence, till you are faced with such a scenario. (Hopefully you are not as I definitely do not wish a surprise pregnancy on myself or any other female).

    Posted by Yewande | June 22, 2011, 5:34 pm
  267. *pulling granpas belt* imna give this niggah gonna get a good lashing hehehehe

    Posted by Barak Ölee | June 22, 2011, 5:35 pm
  268. I’m never this blunt… will be today… If you aint ready for the consequenses of Sex… KEEP YOUR FUCKING LEGS CLOSED… On a lighter note I’m Pro-11 all day err’day!!!

    Posted by Nugwa | June 22, 2011, 5:36 pm
  269. But err…. The holy spirit did appear to both Mary and Joseph informing them that Mary was carrying d saviour of d world. So err… *scratches head* i dont think abortion wud av been an option.

    Posted by tobicomm | June 22, 2011, 5:38 pm
  270. pro-choice all the way!!!

    Posted by trecysees | June 22, 2011, 5:41 pm
  271. HALLELUJAH!!!

    Posted by 0latoxic | June 22, 2011, 5:42 pm
  272. I totally agree with ‘highlandblue’. Who are you to decide if another individual is worth being brought into this world? Ever imagined what you would be (or not) if your parents had been ‘pro-choice’ too? If you’re ‘intelligent’ enough to have sex before you’re ready, what makes you think you can make the ‘right’ decision to cut off someone’s life before it’s even started. I strongly believe that everything has a purpose, your mistakes might cause a delay or diversion, but that purpose is eventually achieved. That said, I’m totally pro-life. The only exception would be when the mother’s life is endangered and where its confirmed that child will be borne deformed or something. And in rape cases, I still argue with myself over this last one. But yeah, just my opinion.

    ” If u r pro life, den be pro-abstinence period.” Yes!

    Posted by ie | June 22, 2011, 5:44 pm
  273. I’m sorry Sir. The comment was a response to highlandblue…just not posted in the right section.
    So there u go…norrinHapunned!

    Posted by chidi | June 22, 2011, 5:50 pm

    Posted by A repentant soul | June 22, 2011, 5:50 pm
  275. Thank you REPENTANT SOUL

    Posted by @UCHEUGO | June 22, 2011, 6:16 pm
  276. LMAO!!! See as breeze don blow fowl yansh o!!!

    Posted by 0latoxic | June 22, 2011, 6:22 pm
  277. You people saying even rape victims have access to morning after pills. Think again.
    Imagine a woman in a remote village who has been raped.
    Apart from the fact that she may not be able to get pills,getting pills will aslo involve revealing her situation to someone.
    Don’t forget that there are still places where rape victims are stigmatized.
    Also,think of a married couple who already have 5 children and live from hand to mouth.
    Assuming the woman discovers she’s pregnant when its already too late for pills,what do you expect her to do?
    Like someone said,you can’t really have an opinion till you’ve been in such situations.
    For you pro-life men,if your girlfriend was gang-raped and got pregnant cos she was too scared and traumatized,will you advice her to keep the baby?
    There are far too many complicated scenarios for you to be strictly pro-life. Keep an open mind. Pro-choice.

    Posted by The Recluse | June 22, 2011, 6:31 pm
  278. Riley though…

    Posted by @deevagal | June 22, 2011, 6:32 pm
  279. Thank You!!!!

    Posted by tobicomm | June 22, 2011, 6:34 pm
  280. Good point vivian

    Posted by Yvonne | June 22, 2011, 6:38 pm
  281. It is very tempting to choose the path of the “Pro-Life” lovers especially when you see a child with adorably soft cheeks and that sweet smell associated with babies. But, that would be best chosen in a perfect world. We would have to agree with Dr. Lois and Gorgeenah.


    The fundamental role of a mother is to look out for the best interests of her children (born and unborn). Picture a pregnant lady abandoned by the father of the baby, sent away by her parents, shunned by society… No money, no way to take care of that pregnancy. The best option left to her is to abort as quickly as possible to prevent future bouts of illnesses or even death at birth.

    Everybody has a choice. If all things have been considered and the chances of survival is even one percent, please save the child!

    Posted by divadomination | June 22, 2011, 6:44 pm
  282. @book-ey, u can only say so bcos the most ppl that could have given their pro-choice stories are on the streets and do not have access to a phone talk less of a pc or the internet…

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 6:50 pm
  283. I’m pro-life. Always will be. Never mind that I had an abortion once. Yes I have done it and everyday since, I have prayed to God for forgiveness because no matter how I see it, how scared I was, how confused and young I was, I can’t bring myself to convince me that I did the right thing. I didn’t know when it happened. I was anasthesized and yea I coulda told myself it didn’t happen but happen it did and I didn’t feel good. Still don’t. I DID NOT have a choice in aborting it. My life as I, ME, MYSELF knew it would have changed and not positively but I DID have a choice in being careful in the first place. I have been very careful since and would never abort again. Its not beans, spiritually, morally and emotionally.

    That being said, there’s nothing wrong in being pro-choice. Life itself is pro-choice and you do as you see fit. As u believe would pay YOU and YOU alone. Afterall, its your life. No one sets out to ‘kill’ her foetus but if she weighs her options and her unborn baby’s option and she believes that’s d best cjoice, fine, let her go ahead. If she’s not dead inside however, she’ll be more careful and not make a habit of washing out her foetus like she’s treating common cold.

    life is about choices. Think well about your choices for you have to live with the consequences.

    Excuse/pardon the long post and d ‘wise’ words at d end. I’ve never told this story out. Not even to myself.

    Posted by kittykat | June 22, 2011, 6:52 pm
  284. hehahswhhehehehaahahaha!!!! #dead!!! most hilarious bt one of the *real-est* comments in here… lmbho…

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 6:56 pm
  285. Oh and that ‘Repentant soul’ is a total scam. Lol. Haba.

    Posted by ie | June 22, 2011, 6:59 pm
  286. he is not God but an agent of God sent to save a life rather than lose two!!! ..or even create eternal misery for 2

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 6:59 pm
  287. dont forget it cannot and shldnt be classified as a child by that time.. it’s still a part of you, within you, without a life of its own, and entirely dependent on you to survive…

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 7:02 pm
  288. abi oooo…

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 22, 2011, 7:02 pm
  289. hmmmm… i would like to know what ppl think about euthanasia or mercy killing as we all know it…

    Posted by PROCHOICER | June 22, 2011, 7:04 pm
  290. *sigh* I’m tired. Goodnight

    Posted by kankey | June 22, 2011, 7:08 pm
  291. I am going to be very honest here.
    I always said that if I ever got pregnant while single, I’d have an abbortion pronto. My final year in the university (actually an extra year), I got pregnant. First thought I had was I could not keep the baby. It wasn’t me I was thinking of, not my own interests, but my mum’s. It would kill her to find out. My mother that would swear on her son’s grave that I was a virgin! I was raised in a christian home, not religious, christian. A family that loved God with a passion. I thought of my mum, her heart condition, her reputation and respect! It would break her.
    But I ended up having that baby,and yes, all hell broke loose when everyone found out. It was one of the worst times of my life. But I had that baby, not because I was strong enough to, not because I had the financial capability. Yes it broke my mother’s heart, and she didnt get over it in about 2 years. I cried myself to sleep every night when I was pregnant, I was so scared and sorry for myself.

    Now I have the most beautiful, adorable, and intelligent 5 year old daughter. She’s unbelievably intelligent! She’s my joy, and I’m so proud of her. There are still a few times that I cry some, and wish somehow, I’d had an abortion. A few times. Many times I wish I’d never had premarital sex. Cos the truth is, no matter what, having a baby whilesingle is going to take some years off you. But 5 years, I’m still surviving, It’s been a real struggle cause It’s been hard to get my life back, difficult, but I have. And I’m still single too.

    The point I want to make is, you’d never know until you get the lab report that says “sweetheart, the result is positive”! Then all your religion, beliefs, principles, modesty, whatever will flee you like a flea. Believe me! You can never be certain of the decisions you will make until you’re actually faced with the situation yourself.

    Then, I think its not totally right to talk about bringing a child to the world to suffer. Why would the child suffer? are you a ne’er-do-well? why would you find it totally impossible to get something to do, to earn a living for yourself and the baby? Yes its very expensive to raise a child, but you can do it. trust me. It starts with having the will. If you lost your job or any means of survival you have presently, would you commit suicide? wouldn’t you continue living, be hopeful, and work hard to get a good life for you?

    In conclusion, I wouldn’t want anyone to go through an abortion, not me, not anyone. But I will never condemn anyone who does. I would be there for them anytime anyday. Because whatever decision you choose, its always difficult, both ways.

    Posted by HADTOCOMMENT | June 22, 2011, 7:08 pm
  292. I’m speechless….need we say more people? I guess not.

    Posted by awizii | June 22, 2011, 7:09 pm
  293. And why are they on the streets again? They can blame their mothers for that. It could have been prevented.

    Posted by book-ey | June 22, 2011, 7:13 pm
  294. just food for thought. If you abort a fetus that has been prenatally diagnosed to be malformed or has some major genetical defect, is that not murder or a sin?

    A friend of mine got pregnant for her boyfriend who tried to convince her to keep it. She carefullly considered her situation being that she was still in school and decided to abort it despite his opposition. Few weeks later she discovered that d guy had been seeing someone else steadily all d while. All she cud say was, thank God she had given herself brain. That wud have been a disaster.
    Fuunny thing is the people who would say don’t abort it arean more often than not the same ones that would sneer at you behind your back for getting pregnant, calling you names.

    The beautiful thing about life is choice and to prevent life from folllowing a predictable script, God gave mankind free will.
    I believe everyone has d right to make a choice.
    I am unapologetically pro-choice.

    Posted by bykerboi | June 22, 2011, 7:16 pm
  295. just food for thought. If you abort a fetus that has been prenatally diagnosed to be malformed or has some major genetical defect, is that not murder or a sin?

    A friend of mine got pregnant for her boyfriend who tried to convince her to keep it. She carefullly considered her situation being that she was still in school and decided to abort it despite his opposition. Few weeks later she discovered that d guy had been seeing someone else steadily all d while. All she cud say was, thank God she had given herself brain. That wud have been a disaster.
    Fuunny thing is the people who would say don’t abort it arean more often than not the same ones that would sneer at you behind your back for getting pregnant, calling you names.

    The beautiful thing about life is choice and to prevent life from folllowing a predictable script, God gave mankind free will.
    I believe everyone has d right to make a choice.
    I am unapologetically pro-choice.

    Posted by bykerboi | June 22, 2011, 7:16 pm
  296. @IHADTOCOMMENT bravo! bravo!!!!

    Posted by @UCHEUGO | June 22, 2011, 7:24 pm
  297. I’ve had an abortion too. 1st October can I ever forget when everytime I look at my stomach I recall that I removed a life that had nothing to do with anything. I know how all my morals fled. I always said I could never have an abortion but when it happened, I thought of my mum who has never pictured me under a man let alone setting ass for doggy. That moment I knew the child had to go. I battled within myself for 6weeks before I decided to do it. I had a choice but the tension was much. People who knew kept calling me to get rid of it. In the end I went and removed it. It dint take up to 5minutes. No pains, no bleeding but the emotional pain I go through everyday is enough torture. I can’t judge an abortionist but it doesn’t change the fact that I can never abort in my life or that it is wrong and not the way out. Truth is I’m not having sex anymore. Why play with fire when I don’t want to get burned. If you have had an abortion you know it’s a lifetime affair. Mercy was had on me.

    Posted by Me | June 22, 2011, 7:34 pm
  298. 300 Comments??wow..this should be a record or something..

    (Y) @toolsman and the hunter

    Posted by kechilauren | June 22, 2011, 8:07 pm
  299. At the end of the day

    Deciding to keep a baby is a choice
    Deciding to abort it is a choice
    Deciding to have pre-marital or extra-marital is a choice
    Deciding to abstain is also a choice….so in a way we all are pro-choice. Whatever situation we all find ourselves in,we should always make the best of choices. As to the question really, you can never tell what ur decision will till you are pregnant….
    Let’s not restrict the issue of abortion to pre-marital sex alone. There a lot of married people who have abortions too..what if u get married and u are told that the baby u are carrying is deformed?? Will u go ahead and abort it? Does that make you any better than athe promiscious 18yr old across the street…

    Posted by kankey | June 22, 2011, 8:09 pm
  300. This argument will never end. The winner here is @thetoolsman with 300 comments strong….I advise that we pray to Almighty God to guide our ways right…and I have to admit as some people have rightly pointed out that you never know what you’ll do if you’re in such a situation…We were made with free will, but we’re also creatures with reason…There is the principle of cause and effect, philosophical but true and is the reason for everything that happens..Make wise decisions..choose wisely..

    Posted by awizii | June 22, 2011, 8:28 pm
  301. *whew* Finally at the end. *panting heavily* Pro-choice all the way. Shirlz totally describes my reasons for this.

    Posted by tobicomm | June 22, 2011, 8:37 pm
  302. I’m a Christian & I know the Bible’s stand on murder. But I’m going to be sitting on the fence on this issue for the following reasons.

    1) Until u hear from the doctor that the test came out positive, u can’t really tell what ur position will be, no matter how principled & courageous & holy u think u might be.

    2) For those Christians that are quick to judge & condemn, didn’t the Bible say, “judge not that ye may not be judged”?

    3) For those screaming abortion, I remember the Bible said, “Thou shall not kill”. It doesn’t matter the time its done, bottom line is that a life is borne on the inside of a pregnant woman & killing it is murder.

    4) What distinguishes a mother from a woman who merely bears a child, is her ability to look out for the interest of her child FIRST! If u’re a mother at heart, u’d know when it would be hard for u to raise a child whether the child is deformed or not, if u think u can’t cope, its best to abort; but if u think u can, go ahead irrespective of what people will say.

    5) For those clamouring that the child should be given up for adoption, where do u think u are, UK or USA, we’re in Naija! Adoption is not yet acceptable in Nigeria. Who wants to take on a child when they haven’t finished taken care of their own or themselves? Pls let’s be realistic!

    6) Do u also realize that there are some births that could kill the mother? My birth itself is a miracle but it doesn’t always work out that way, the mother could actually die; on the other hand, what’s to say that the mother still will live?

    Its no use bringing a child into this world to suffer; we have a lot of homeless, thoroughly abused & abandoned kids already at the same time we can’t continue to have gals go in for recreational abortions.

    If I were in her shoes, what would I do? Answer is, I DON’T KNOW until it happens.

    Posted by feline_eyes | June 22, 2011, 9:05 pm
  303. lmao @ setting ass for doggy….

    Posted by S.Charles | June 22, 2011, 9:17 pm
  304. Most people screaming pro life here have bought more packs of postinor than pure water in their lifetime.abeg life is all about d choices u make so make all man carry him load as e like am.

    Posted by ruud_bishop | June 22, 2011, 9:19 pm
  305. *correction* I meant to type, what’s to say the mother still won’t live.

    Posted by feline_eyes | June 22, 2011, 9:28 pm
  306. God bless you. Half of the arguers here don’t have the slightest idea…

    Posted by missKk | June 22, 2011, 9:34 pm
  307. Just like everything in life…..you can’t pick it out of context and ask..”Are you Pro-life or Pro-Choice”…Different circumstance call for different decisions. Just as it’d be a sin to abort in some situations, there are situations whereby keeping the baby would be a sin too… Health disorder, rape, HIV, sickle cell… Etc….we all know the one’s that are “sinful”… The one’s u have to do after practising all the things taught at the Summer School of P-setting…even in that situation, when u know it’d be sinful to take it out, sometimes u just do it cos u have to…so, just like lying, stealing, fornication…abortion na sin…but don’t we all sin?

    Posted by Oscar | June 22, 2011, 9:53 pm
  308. Sorry to say this but i do not believe abortion is murder bt then again that is my own point of view, if you dont want the child you should have the option to get rid of it if you want to before it is too late. Everyone here is entitled to their own opinion bt truth be told, you never know what you are goin to do unless you are put in that situation

    Posted by Trololol | June 22, 2011, 10:02 pm
  309. i do…

    Posted by ciiphii | June 22, 2011, 10:03 pm
  310. I WANT 14 SHADES OF GREY. 😦

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | June 22, 2011, 10:23 pm
  311. *picks mic*
    But err, for everyone saying they r sitting on the fence, isnt dat being pro-choice? I mean, being pro-choice wud mean one chosing watever option(which also includes keeping d baby) dat best suits d lady in that situation. No?
    *Drops mic*

    Posted by tobicomm | June 22, 2011, 10:42 pm
  312. Very good blog post hun..loved it..:)
    This is a very touchy topic. Personally, I’m a Christian who is anti abortion.

    1) Psalm 139: 13: ” For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb”…This verse alone tells me that life starts at conception.

    2) I believe every one on this earth is here for a purpose. It might not seem like it sometimes, but it’s the truth. God has a purpose for every child (Jeremiah 29:11). Justin Bieber was born out of wedlock. His mum gave birth to him at 18. She’s been through her on share of hardship and pain. Look at here now eh? Chilling. Imagine if she had aborted the ”foetus”. p.s. I’m a belieber. lol.

    3) And most times, we are the cause of our pain/hurt/suffering. We, human beings decide to take matters into our own hands and not go by the word. The Bible talks about sexual immorality. We are advised to abstain from sex outside marriage. The Bible has a reason for saying these things you know.

    4) I feel for your friend Sophia. Tell her to hang in there ok? She’d see light soon. She needs to stay positive and hopeful. God knows what she’s going through and can turn her situation around. He has a plan for everyone and He makes everything beautiful in His time. All will be well.

    Please post a blog entry about her when things start getting better. I know the will..

    Posted by Onah | June 22, 2011, 11:41 pm
    The only form of protection most Nigerians know of is the use of condoms.
    Sorry to say but the average sexually active girl is scared of taking birth control pills…..Ladies need to empower themselves! Don’t leave your man in charge of contraceptives! I buy contraceptives (condoms/pills) and people look at me funny but i dont care! Having a baby right now is not my plan!

    Im Pro choice. Ive been in the situation before and i chose to have an abortion…once in a while i wonder if it was a boy/girl but then i look at all i have accomplished and I know having that baby would have put a huge dent in my career goals.

    Posted by Nonametoday | June 23, 2011, 12:44 am

    Posted by Nonametoday | June 23, 2011, 12:51 am
  315. Doing my blog rounds, stumbled on this. Wow. So many comments but i will add mine.

    Sex is the only application that people make and then they get confused and disconcerted when they pass in excellent flying colors.

    Sex is naturally designed to produce offspring. Embrace your actions (and inactions), people. It’s all a part of life’s experiences, the give and take that makes the world go round. Unfortunately most times we try to eschew contrivances that are meant to hone us to be even better people than when we made our choices.

    @freshprinz (Victor Kalu?): Great story you have there. Greater days are on their way.

    A note to pro-lifers: Pro-life and pro-adoption are both sides of the same coin. Flip it carefully… the pro-choice folk’s alternative is at the end of yours.

    Final note, pro-choice and pro-life are options that have to be made. Either way, it appears best not to make yourself have to choose.

    I’m @Qurr and I’m very pro life. I’m also pro-adoption. Even more, I am pro-abstinence if possible.

    Posted by @Qurr | June 23, 2011, 1:41 am
  316. I must add though, context matters and I understand that in some cases, abortion is medically prescribed to save a pregnant woman’s life. This is the only case in which I see it as a simple medical procedure. Not even in unfortunate cases of rape.

    This is my humble opinion but all are free to disagree.

    Posted by @Qurr | June 23, 2011, 1:43 am
  317. Everyone’s life is left to chance really.
    So you’re born with ten fingers and ten toes…that doesn’t increase/decrease your chances of going to a good school, eating a good meal three/four/five times a day, wearing good clothes….becoming a famous whatever. The reality is that our lives and the situations we find ourselves in are up to God (if you believe in a God) and the personal decisions we make.
    A chance means that things can go either way…why destroy a child’s chance of making the best out of life because you made (or think you made) a wrong decision in life.
    Everyday is about gambling. If you don’t want the kid for some reason…to early in your life…it has a defect… whatever give it up for adoption. There’s a woman out there that won’t care about those things.

    For the record if you’re not ready for the consequences…don’t do the deed.

    Posted by Chidz | June 23, 2011, 2:50 am
  318. Onah thank u for this one. If one has come to understand the total awesomeness of God u’ll realize that u Cnt even venture into this level of sin. U’ll b dealing with getting angry, not loving everybody, straying in your thoughts and not fornication nd abortion…… So u wnt find urslf having pre-marital sex let alone taking pills or even Aborting kids. It’s a gradual process that is why I said, deal with the cause. We can’t be here justifying abortion for whatever cause. In this particular context the kids are not the issue. Sophia is the problem. She fornicated, she married the wrong man and now she can’t even be determined enough to give her wonderful kids life. That is the total absence of God’s grace and if she wants a turn-around, she should come to me lemme take her to the place of rest. Before I found my way to God, I prolly Wud av “sat on the fence or been pro-choice” buh now I have wisdom to knw hw to deal wiv dese things. If u r married, ur duty involves multiplyin d earth, so which one is aborting a child cos u Cnt provide for them? U shudnt get married then cos u r lazy nd it still has nth to do with those kids.. Everybody was made to have the ability to work. It musnt necessarily be office jobs And God protects His Children so u wnt evn find yourself in complicated situations whr abortions Wud be the way out in marriage. And if u support abortions, I’m sorry u r not a true Christian in the real sense of the Word. You dont know How much the Lord detests abortions.
    And before u chew me raw, this is #myopinion i’m not asking u to agree with me, in fact disagree cos it wnt change d fact that I’m right. God’s Grace is sufficient for us. In summary, Sophia had and still has no business with aborting….
    Outside this context, before abortion what gave? How were unwanted children handled? Now u see that abortion cannot be and only option. Besides if a doctor says u need an abortion, I hope u realize u r not the one making the choice? The doctor is. Do not put urself in situations were u av 2 make such decisions. ZIP UP!!! Good morning people.

    Posted by DontChewMeRaw | June 23, 2011, 5:39 am
  319. People are quoting bible nawa o! Simple question are you prochoice or prolife? Choose ur side n free all the unecessary referencing, is this a church abi na fellowship we dey?

    Posted by cHukwu | June 23, 2011, 6:29 am
  320. Reading everyones comment is quite enlightening… Still tryna know my stance on this one though.

    Posted by chiji_eke | June 23, 2011, 8:30 am
  321. I really don’t think a procedure that could be used to do good should be totally shut down just because a large number of people use it the wrong way. Abortion has been overrated to seem like the great evil we all know it to be today. I’ve never heard of funeral services being made when a woman experiences a miscarriage, or a long mourning process. I believe life starts from living, and living life should be pleasant and not a bitch as she is often tagged. If you are not ready to be parents then whats the point of bringing a child to this world to suffer?
    In the case of the story mentioned above, I think the God father should not feel guilty as the abortion wouldn’t have stopped her from making other bad decisions when it comes to hopeless love. I think the topic of discussion should have been about people not being able to turn down things that are bad for them just because it feels good to have them at that moment. She wouldn’t need an abortion if her “choice” was the right partner. All that glitters isn’t gold, they could also be muzzle flashes and lens flares from katanas and rifle scopes…

    Posted by jerryossai | June 23, 2011, 10:38 am
  322. Just had to LOL at “Lions cannot swim!” Hilarious!!

    Posted by 0latoxic | June 23, 2011, 2:01 pm
  323. Until you are in taht situation , you’d never know!!!! its really easy to say, dont abort,

    I’m BBB, and i am PRO-choice

    Posted by BBB | June 23, 2011, 5:19 pm
  324. So many comments and all viable reasons. Its a tough one but I will always be a Pro-Choice….I’ve had an abortion and I don’t regret doing it. The only regret is that I dint choose well btw using protection and not using.

    Posted by MzDharmi | June 24, 2011, 12:42 pm
  325. comment number 330…. *sigh* i’ve typed and then deleted my intended comment like 5 times now.. i truthfully cant makeup my mind….ppl have put up a lot of moral and religious arguments and they are all valid. all d arguments both for and against hav their valid backings…. but the truth is you never can tell what you’ll do until u find yourself in such a situation…the circumstances surrounding you at that time will largely determine your course of action.

    But one thing is for certain, a sin is a sin. what is wrong is wrong. Biblically, premarital sex is a sin and abortion is a grave sin. so if u support the use of contraceptives and condoms (supporting premarital sex) and then u condemn Abortion , you are notin but a hypocritical fool.
    my 2 cents.

    Posted by Domina | June 24, 2011, 2:31 pm
  326. All this justifications are funny..I can only say I pray not to fall in such situation but abortion is rung..finish..wether u feel ur reason is gud or not its sha rung but heck were humans..for those sayin “ur not ready 2bring a child in2 d world” no1 forced u to spread ur legs so u dnt expect ne1 to undastand or see that as a good reason..a victim of rape..that child could become a great source of joy in future jst cuz d way he ws concieved wsnt cool dsnt mean his life wdnt b a testimony 4u later on..a disabled child..who r u to decide a disabled child isn’t good enuf to b in d society?d undisabled ones dat r wastin away under d bridge and killing pple r d ones who deserve to be alive yeah?no1 knws hw any child wud turn out..so no excuse rily justifies it..abortion is just decidin to play God cuz uv viewed all d cons without thinkin of d pros..my own 2cents is..its ur choice but its a choice dat is sha rung wether it makes sense in our own eyes or not..heck I wdnt wanna have a baby outside wedlock or unplanned bt if I decide 2abort it I wnt bother tryna justify it cuz der rily isn’t any reason that cnt b debated or seen d opp way (as I mentioned above) other than my own selfish reasons.so all this talk bout “bringin d child in2 ds cruel world” tryna make it seem like ur bein a martyr stop it..its d effect on U not d child cuz u knw nothin bout wht wud happen 2d child
    ur decision..but a spade is still a spade.
    I’m neither prolife nor prochoice

    Posted by ollylicious | June 24, 2011, 5:06 pm
  327. Of course if ur an atheist n u dnt believe in faith n destiny n all that sure..abort as much as u like..

    Posted by ollylicious | June 24, 2011, 5:12 pm
  328. actually a fertilized egg is jst a fertilized egg not life..as long as ders no heartbeat or brain function or respiration how is it life??..I think if its done while its just a collection of cells ur not takin a life cuz its not a life yet.but once d heart starts which is @ like 23 days (if I remember correctly) then ur takin a life

    Posted by ollylicious | June 24, 2011, 5:33 pm
  329. pls how is preventin sumthn from happenin d same as termination?so if u study b4 an exam so u wnt fail its d same thin as cheatin durin exam? I’m sorry bt that has 2be d stupidest comment I eva seen

    Posted by ollylicious | June 24, 2011, 6:20 pm
  330. Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwww………… Beautiful…. Totally pro-life….Where there is a will, there surely is a way…

    Posted by Ijay | June 24, 2011, 7:17 pm
  331. I’m gonna close this with….
    Abortion is not an anti malaria treatment. The psychological, physical and spiritual effects make it very difficult to make a stand.

    Posted by Ms Congeniality | June 25, 2011, 9:13 pm
  332. pro choice………. at the end of the day it all depends on the woman. we really cant put ourselves in situations like this and say “if we were aborted” fact is we weren’t and life is full of shit. people are born into this world of uncertainties and suffering. If a girl feels she isn’t ready to raise a child then why on earth shouldn’t she get rid of it? most people hide behind religion, go ahead and have the babies and the poor children are subjected to suffering and discrimination. if you really love the child, you’d want the best for it and if you cant afford the best then you shouldn’t bring it into the world……mistakes happen and something as simple as abortion that can be fixed should be fixed!!

    Posted by naijapaparazzo | June 30, 2011, 7:28 pm
  333. Shoot….pro life / pro choice…sometimes you tink u knw wat u want till ur in dat situation,I neva want 2 hv 2 abort,cuz t cud hv serious effects in d future n I obviously can’t kip d baby,bcuz my father wud probably disown me and whu knws I mite b exaggerating or my mum whu neva talks bac 2 my father wud stand up 4 me…
    My point bein u jus neva knw,wat u want til dt situation warrants itself

    Posted by blondie | July 3, 2011, 2:21 pm
  334. You have been truthful about ur abortion…your reason however,I don’t quite agree with.
    You said your child would’v had a crappy life. Who says? Even if the child had a rough beginning,he may eventually lead a fulfilling life. Or were u told he had some fatal disabilities? Or was there a threat to your life?
    This may sound judgemental,but I think ur fear wasn’t for ur child…it was for YOU! You didn’t want to be saddled with a child,you didn’t want a ‘crappy life’.
    That said,who says we have to be pro-only 1 of the above? I’m pro-life/choice,depending on the situation.

    Posted by krimmedic | July 8, 2011, 10:00 am


  1. Pingback: Choice vs. Life (via Thetoolsman’s Blog) « Trecy see's Blog - June 23, 2011

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