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Our bestfriends wedding

Our Best Friends Wedding: Episode 6: Inyang

Hey everyone. So, yesterday was quite crazy here..whoosh.. Anyways, today we catch up with Cha-cha and the girls. If you haven’t been following the series, use this link here to read up on all you’ve missed and for those who don’t know, the series is jointly written by @cikk0 and I. You can check out his blog here. Use the comment box to share your thoughts. Cheers.
*********************
5ft 9”…
The perfect height.
She was not slight but she wasn’t exactly chubby as well: just the perfect build.
Her wicked smile and enchanting disposition got to him without his knowing it – the perfect attitude.
All in all, he couldn’t complain with what he was looking at. Her skin glowed evenly from years of being lovingly tormented by air conditioners. It was all so wondrously aligned… yet it was perfectly impossible for this to go anywhere past the status quo. He was still dripping. First fruits from his voyage into the turbulent waters of his shower stall. He’d heard noises coming from the general direction of the living room. He was almost sure she’d let herself in but he came out just to confirm his suspicion.
“My friend will you hurry and go dress up. We don’t have all day and Kemi has been buzzing me. Ooh lookey… what’s that peeking out of your towel?” she pointed at his groin area. He widened his eyes in horror and shrieked as he sent his fingers a-blocking the ‘yonder.’ He glanced down only to see that all was in fact in place and from the way the towel was wrapped she couldn’t possibly have seen anything.
Her half-snarl, half-laugh was confirmation of what he’d just figured: she was playing yet another prank on him. Before scampering off to get dressed, he shot a look of playful sternness her way as he yelled out:
“Jade you are just a fish!”
**********
Moments later…
**********
Kemi had been waiting for almost twenty minutes. The plan had been to wait for them before ordering but after ten minutes, Kemi helped herself to sumptuous order of Chicken Lasagna Casserole.  As she started eating, she heard the door of the tiny bistro open and looked up to watch as Jade and Charles rushed in. Jade was more or less pulling Charles’ hand as she stormed towards Kemi.
“I had to go pick him up and he took forever to get ready.” Jade tendered her defence even before Kemi asked. Kemi however seemed less concerned as she continued with her meal.
“Well, I have good news.” Charles declared. “The search is over!” he beamed.
“At last,” Kemi sounded relieved even as she finally looked up from her meal.
“Really?” was Jade’s guarded reply. Her furrowed eyebrows did not exactly show chirpiness.
“Yes! Ladies, prepare to plan my wedding ASAP. Cha Cha is dying soon… to be replaced by Mr. Charles.”
“So Inyang then?” Kemi asked.
 “Nah. She cooks a mean Afang but that’s about it. There’s only so many times a man can hear his name pronounced as ‘Yarles before he commits a murder-suicide. It’s Bisi for me y’all!”
Instantly, both ladies looked at each other then back at Charles. Jade was the first to speak: “Bisi small kegs?”
“Yeah…” Charles started, “… we’re probably gonna have to find a new nickname for my future bride. Jeez!”
“Well, about that,” Kemi offered, “we heard that Bisi is kind of expecting.”
“Expecting what? A miracle? Aren’t we all?”
“Errm… if a newborn baby is your idea of a miracle then… yay!” Jade joked.
“But why didn’t you check with us before re-entering her runs? We would have given you the info na,” Kemi hissed and shook her head.
“I ran into her at The Palms and thought: ‘She’s on the list. I might as well get it over with.’” After a little silence, Charles began to piece it all together. ”No wonder she’s been avoiding me!” It was epiphany time: “I for say! Those bazoomas did look inflated in that picture she sent me!”
“Are we still talking about boobs, Charles?” Kemi’s tone was stern.
“Yes. And it’s still Cha Cha to you guys.” He sighed. “Well, I guess the search continues then.”
“Before I forget to ask: what exactly made you choose BIsi anyway?” Jade inquired.
“She was alright. Very alright. We connected as we did before and at times it felt like the old spark had never gone. I figured it was all getting tiresome. I wasn’t too sure I could do 19 girls anymore. Guess I liked what I saw and heard and decided she didn’t have to be perfect.”
“Charles the compromiser. That’s one I would never have guessed. But then again, you can still go back to her. Pregnancy’s not a crime, you know?”Kemi teased.
“Gerrout joo. Whose baby is it anyway?” Charles questioned.
“I hear she doesn’t know. Chances are she could have pinned it on you actually.” Charles’ response to Kemi’s words was a shrug.
“Craaaap,” he grumbled. His discontent was unmistakable. ”So who’s next?”
“Darlene.” Kemi replied instantly. This was greeted with a smile. “Nice,” Charles said, “She’s not bad.”
“Phew!” Jade exhaled. “That was close,” she muttered under her breath. Kemi and Charles asked simultaneously: “What did you say?”
“Nothing,” Jade replied quickly, “Nothing at all.”
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About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman

Discussion

58 thoughts on “Our Best Friends Wedding: Episode 6: Inyang

  1. .

    Posted by kechilauren | June 23, 2011, 9:02 am
  2. So I took Silver! Kechi didnt even say anything.

    Posted by highlandblue | June 23, 2011, 9:03 am
  3. I’ll take the bronze,better still copper.

    Posted by doynoyesanmi | June 23, 2011, 9:07 am
  4. Jade, jade……hmmm

    Posted by jayajade | June 23, 2011, 9:09 am
  5. Lol, u guys dnt even read b4 commenting

    Posted by agirl | June 23, 2011, 9:15 am
  6. Oh please cn Jade and Charles get it on and spare us d suspense rme*

    Posted by ikkyB | June 23, 2011, 9:17 am
  7. 😀 …Jade.Jade.Jade..
    well….and there was a girl in my secondary school, that went by the name busty bisi..not because she was busty but because she used to put socks in her bra to fake it ;(..
    its funny how Charles knows her too..sigh

    Posted by kechilauren | June 23, 2011, 9:17 am
  8. Hmmmm cha cha nd jade! Hmmm 😀

    Posted by MzLucyM | June 23, 2011, 9:18 am
  9. It is soooo definitely JADE!!

    Posted by tinymadamie | June 23, 2011, 9:18 am
  10. Dnt Really get this post or am i missin somthing??

    Posted by @bubu009 | June 23, 2011, 9:19 am
  11. I read it from my mail before I ran here to comment. Lol. Being here first is just a silly little game some of toolsman’s followers play. By the way, I saw a toolswoman comment on yesterday’s post. Are u thinking what I’m thinking?

    Posted by highlandblue | June 23, 2011, 9:19 am
  12. Ahn! I always suspected, Jade Jade

    Posted by agirl | June 23, 2011, 9:20 am
  13. erm.. if you’ve not been following the series, I posted the link to the other episodes at the beginning of this post..

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 23, 2011, 9:22 am
  14. Lmaooooo the end was kinda funny to me….cnt wait for next week….

    Posted by Towsyn | June 23, 2011, 9:22 am
  15. We have several versions of ‘thetoolswoman’ here…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 23, 2011, 9:23 am
  16. can Jade and Charles just admit it already…im sure she exhaled cos Bisi wasn’t available…fallin for a friend can be hard sometimes…

    Posted by dammydiva | June 23, 2011, 9:23 am
  17. I’ll be disappointed if Cha marries Jade….

    And I know Tools won’t let that happen

    Or would he?

    Hmmm

    F.

    Posted by @FoluShaw | June 23, 2011, 9:29 am
  18. Hmmn I am almost sure Jade likes charles. I cant wait for the next one. And good job @cikk0

    Posted by RolakeJob | June 23, 2011, 9:29 am
  19. Errm…clearly Jade loves him… But won’t be surprised if “Yarles” ends up with Kemi.

    Posted by Didi | June 23, 2011, 9:31 am
  20. Yeah it can..:|

    Posted by @bubu009 | June 23, 2011, 9:32 am
  21. There’s a twist to this story. It can’t be this straightforward… It can’t.

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | June 23, 2011, 9:44 am
  22. Ok, so I’ve done everything I need to do so I can read this post plus comments UNINTERRUPTED for the next 20 minutes. God help the person who tries to and my phone had better not ring.
    Ok back to post!!

    Posted by missKk | June 23, 2011, 9:44 am
  23. Fallin for ur best frd is quite difficult esp wen ur nt sure if he feels d same way,@ d same time u dnt wanna spoil ur frdship cos u ve got feelings for him n he doesn’t feel d same way. I fell in luv wit my best frd once n unfortunately he knew it (he s a very lovable guy) bt wen it dawned on me dt nothin oda dan making out was coming out if it,I took a stance n told him where I stood n til now we r still best of frds.plus he s seeing sum1 who is a gd frd also. Wish Jade all d best dou.poor gal

    Posted by zoe | June 23, 2011, 9:45 am
  24. YARLES!!!!!!! OMG!!! LMAO!!! I guess its better than ‘Yarley’!!

    Posted by jadesola | June 23, 2011, 9:48 am
  25. Very disappointed. Pissed in short. Yes, I’m taking it p. 😐

    Posted by missKk | June 23, 2011, 9:58 am
  26. I eat my shoe if Charles ends up with Jade! Not with Chris aka @Cikk0 and Toolsman writing this.

    Wait o, one of these dudes might just beef me enuf to write that, just to see me eat my beaurriful choos… Ok, I take that back, write whatever y’all want 3-|

    Posted by 0latoxic | June 23, 2011, 10:15 am
  27. Jaden has feelings for charles… it might take a lil while but charles will finally realize he has a tin for Jade as well. they shud quickly get it on and spare us d suspense…. i knw dis kinda of scenario.. when a babe is secretly wishing that her male best friend never settles seriously with any girl… Brown sugar kinda of story… i said it at d beggining of this series and i’m repeating it now….

    Toolsman, u better make sure it doesnt end the way I and some others here hav predicted. That will be all for now

    Posted by ugofrances/Domina | June 23, 2011, 10:21 am
  28. Jaden has feelings for charles… it might take a lil while but charles will finally realize he has a tin for Jade as well. they shud quickly get it on and spare us d suspense…. i knw dis kinda of scenario.. when a babe is secretly wishing that her male best friend never settles seriously with any girl… Brown sugar kinda of story… i said it at d beggining of this series and i’m repeating it now….
    Toolsman, u better make sure it doesnt end the way I and some others here hav predicted. That will be all for now

    Posted by ugofrances/Domina | June 23, 2011, 10:23 am
  29. *Jade *kind of Story

    Posted by ugofrances | June 23, 2011, 10:24 am
  30. Is it me or is this story getting boring?? #nollywoodthigs! *nwsinging* it’s a super story, la la la lala la…. Feel sad for Jade tho, hw can she be content knowing sum1 she loves is screwing around???!!! Oh well…

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 23, 2011, 10:27 am
  31. Lool @ Yarles!cant help wonderin if Jade’s name is on d list sef, nd charles wld prob be in d middle of a date b4 his slow brain realizes dat wat hes lookin 4 is right in front of him….Jade dat is!
    Alredi knew 4rom prev posts he was gonna end up wit one of his besties :p!

    Posted by dee2qte | June 23, 2011, 10:32 am
  32. Ha! It only gets better! Waiting for the next post 🙂

    Posted by Sandie Pandie | June 23, 2011, 10:49 am
  33. Kemi is married 2 ‘Captain’ so it has to be Jade

    Posted by Dolly | June 23, 2011, 11:16 am
  34. Cha Cha feels something for Jade too…perfect height, perfect skin, perfect attitude…he just thinks it is “perfectly impossible for this to go anywhere past the status quo”

    Posted by Dolly | June 23, 2011, 11:22 am
  35. Charles and Jade??????? I knew it!!! But wouldn’t that be too nollywood-esque??? Please don’t make it so.

    Posted by Spiffy | June 23, 2011, 11:22 am
  36. Lol !! You know sometimes there’s nothing wrong with a predictable ending…although I’d be a tad dissapointed by that but I intend to just enjoy the story…..y’all should too….slow down

    Posted by jAyajade | June 23, 2011, 11:42 am
  37. Cn charles n jade just get it 2geda already! Ts too obvious dey r perfect 4 each oda! Pls aw many gals r remaining on bloody list???? So I cn know wen 2plan cha cha’s wedding!

    Posted by @mizztosin | June 23, 2011, 11:57 am
  38. Ah ah haba ‘yarles’ really?.That is just over exaggerating the whole calabar accent thing naw.Only a really old illiterate woman in the village would pronounce charles as ‘yarles’.Yes n i also have a problem with the name Inyang.Of all the calabar names,it’s Inyang u came up with.Hissss,i’ve never even heard anybody bearing Inyang as a first name in my entire life.Anyway,I think Jade has a thing for Charles but that just seems too predictable.Can’t wait to read the next post.Good job.

    Posted by Very burnt calabar chick | June 23, 2011, 12:18 pm
  39. hmmmmmm…

    Posted by Temitayo | June 23, 2011, 12:54 pm
  40. The last three lines say it all. Jade likes Yarles. whoohooo!!!

    Posted by @demmylee | June 23, 2011, 1:09 pm
  41. I just knew it had to be her !!!!
    they so have major chemistry, funny fn’s is neither of them realize they r so into each other …
    *i actually had 2 blush on her behave ryt from when he said he had an announcement to make*
    sigh 😦 y do we always search 4 sumfn so far yet so near???
    life’s jst like that
    can’t wait 4 d next chapter 😀

    Posted by Foxy | June 23, 2011, 1:24 pm
  42. get ready to eat ur shoes dearie 😉

    Posted by Foxy | June 23, 2011, 1:29 pm
  43. but on the real though, i don’t fnk they’ll hook up that soon even if they do (like 20yrs dwn d road)

    Posted by Foxy | June 23, 2011, 1:37 pm
  44. Is it? Are u sure u never gisted tula about busty bisi before he chose her name for d kegless character? refresh ur memory

    Posted by Anon | June 23, 2011, 1:44 pm
  45. Atleast now we know the season is coming to an end now.

    Posted by Radeyo | June 23, 2011, 2:11 pm
  46. I’m sorry but I didn’t really find the bite in this story though. Kinda seems bland and plain. I’m sorry.
    Just my opinion

    Posted by bykerboi | June 23, 2011, 3:34 pm
  47. I think Jade and Charles have a little thing for each other…but I dunno, prolly charles and Kemi might have sex cos Kemi is sounding really sex-deprived and horny…well, we never know with the toolsman.

    Posted by EdoBarbie | June 23, 2011, 3:50 pm
  48. Lol @ all of you. Keep guessing people. We shall ku ku put em in a threesome.

    Posted by cikk0 | June 23, 2011, 3:57 pm
  49. hahaha.. ooohhh… I told you not to hint them now… I might as well just tell them someone dies at the end too..

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 23, 2011, 4:01 pm
  50. And am reading this post wv freddie jackson’s – me and mrs jones…..jade….issoria…..

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | June 23, 2011, 5:49 pm
  51. @cikko 3some….hmmmm….naaa make it 6some

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | June 23, 2011, 5:54 pm
  52. Spoiler alert———> charles is my fiancé …..Go figure!

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | June 23, 2011, 6:05 pm
  53. Bisi B used socks???? Oh wow….

    Posted by 'Dania | June 23, 2011, 10:53 pm
  54. Yay!

    Posted by 'Dania | June 23, 2011, 10:56 pm
  55. smh…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 24, 2011, 6:24 am
  56. Spoiler alert! Jade and cha cha hook up,cha cha gives jade herpes.Jade goes chris brown on cha cha’s ass and kills him in the process.The end 🙂

    Posted by msforbiddenc | June 25, 2011, 7:56 am
  57. Ha, i knew there was something to that title. Leeegooo!!!

    Posted by Neefemi | June 25, 2011, 1:44 pm
  58. I have a feeling there is a dark twisted end τ̅☺ this story.♍ƺ m sha curious…

    Posted by lammide | September 30, 2011, 12:17 am

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