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Wet Fridays

First.

Hey everyone. So, I asked the gods to pause the rains here in Lagos today so I could put up this not-so-wet-Friday post. Yeah, sorry to break your hearts. Today’s post was inspired by the sprinters in our comment community who always aim for the first spot. I needed a partner to get this done so I drafted in the hoohoo queen (shoot me) herself, @novacrossqueen. Enjoy.
I lost my virginity at 15, and I used to feel like an early ashawo until I met someone who lost theirs at the age of 8, and I was like well then, look what we have here….

Damn..virginity.. let me see.. can I remember.. ooh yeah, I do.. I think I was 13 back then and all my friends just couldn’t believe I said I was going to do and I just did it. Just like that.

Anyways, I had been dating this boy for a year and the day we decided to pop OUR cherries, he wanted to get flowers and candles and basically paint the whole room CHEESE! I refused. Reality 1 – 0 Disney Channel’s b/s.

Well.. there was this chic who was pretty much all over me back then. I mean, we were mates and she was cool so I thought, what the heck, lets do it. I let her pick the day but it was my place and she came with all them candles and flower and stuff but I was like hells nah.. that wasn’t how I saw Lex Steel do it.

As he put the condom on and I was thinking, omydays I’m still gonna get pregnant anyways, it’s gonna rip, I’m gonna get AIDS, oh Lord, my mother would find out and it just won’t fly…. then I asked him to wear a second condom… 😐

So we settled in and as I put on the condom, I was thinking, hope this stuff fits cause it felt like I got the super small size or something. As if that wasn’t enough drama, she then asked me to put on a second condom… like sheesh the thing we do…

He entered me slowly and cautiously, at first I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel, that was until I realized I really wasn’t feeling anything….this shit didn’t hurt….wait is this sex? Am I still a virgin? Come, what is going on here….my thoughts were whizzing everywhere…

I got down to business – finally and I just went in hard from the first second but I hadn’t even put my foot on the pedal and she was already racing away. I really wasn’t feeling anything… So much for sex.. But I guess it was the chic?  I just wanted to get done with the whole virgin thing.

*breathe* “Are you ok, he asked”? I said I was….then he did one pump action…and then another, and I just lay there and took it…then it dawned on me….I could never make it in the porn industry, I wasn’t the sexy beast I thought I was….shit I couldn’t even feel my legs talk less of trying to move around and then everything else just rolled up into one quick moment and then we were done…I had taken his virginity and he had taken mine.

I remember asking her to breathe. Damn, she really looked like she was going to pass out. I eased in and began to ‘thrust’ and at that point, I just knew I could totally make it into the porn industry cause it felt like I had become a sexy beast but before I could try out some other moves, she interrupted and said “I think I’m …coming”. So lame.. I just had to play along and pretend I was done. And just like that I took her virginity and lost mine too.

And the world was still spinning on its axis as it had before, I still looked the same in the mirror…. I dunno if it was the extra plastic he had on or the fact that he was a virgin but I couldn’t help but think….So kini big deal?

So things pretty much changed after that. No more virgin stigma, I looked in the mirror and I was a different person. The whole double condom thing and the inexperienced chic didn’t make it all that but I made sure I took it out on the next.

************

There you go. Two people giving accounts of their first time. I know y’all are usually tongue-tied on Fridays giving mostly ‘single word’ comments but I hope we can really read some funny and maybe not so funny first time stories today. You know the drill, use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.

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About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman

Discussion

80 thoughts on “First.

  1. 🙂

    Posted by pebbles | June 24, 2011, 7:46 am
  2. :p

    Posted by @demmylee | June 24, 2011, 7:48 am
  3. Ha! I was second. *nw going back to read post*

    Posted by @demmylee | June 24, 2011, 7:49 am
  4. Glo y???? Anyways 3rd sha. Now goin back to read.

    Posted by tobicomm | June 24, 2011, 7:55 am
  5. Sorry, d gods didn’t get the memo… Its raining right now! :p

    Posted by @deevagal | June 24, 2011, 8:02 am
  6. first five yayyy!!! Dancin alanta…
    So first time….eeew not memorable
    i tink i’ll pass.

    Posted by jemjem | June 24, 2011, 8:09 am
  7. Na wa oo! Competition!

    Posted by efiZEE | June 24, 2011, 8:09 am
  8. top 10

    Posted by Foxy | June 24, 2011, 8:13 am
  9. At least there’s a new set of ‘first’,not the usual ones 🙂

    Posted by mabijo | June 24, 2011, 8:14 am
  10. Okay here’s a confession: I first had to use a finger to make sure I didn’t “miss” my target lol.
    Apart from that, it was all good. Oh yeah, I lost mine @ age 16; a friend of mine lost his at age 7.
    Cheers

    Posted by papyrusczar | June 24, 2011, 8:16 am
  11. Oh so the thing no dey sweet for d first time? No need nah..

    Posted by ProAbstinence | June 24, 2011, 8:22 am
  12. …my first time was so so. It was boring and it hurt. I ended up not having sex again for like two years afterwards. I love this post!

    Posted by Cleo | June 24, 2011, 8:33 am
  13. 1st time ??? errrmmm not yet x_x
    1st time bn fingered or given a head ??? (y)
    guess i v norin 2 say, lemme jst read others then 😉

    Posted by Foxy | June 24, 2011, 8:53 am
  14. share the experience na 😦

    Posted by Foxy | June 24, 2011, 8:57 am
  15. 1st time was good cuz he was 8yrs older n I was 16,exActly wat I wanted.he knew wat he was duin.

    Posted by lilypan | June 24, 2011, 9:19 am
  16. Bwuahahaha…guess the first time is really overrated…*shrug*

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 24, 2011, 9:22 am
  17. For the record, it is statutory rape to have sex with any one younger than 16 unless you are younger than 16 yourself.

    So if you had sex with someone with someone older than 16 before your 16th birthday, you were raped! Simple and short!!

    Moving on…..

    My 1st fuck was funny. I lied to the girl I wasn’t a virgin and she lied to me that she was.
    hehehe…cunny man die, cunny man bury am…right?

    Looking back now, it was funny because it was our first date and she was supposed to be a booty call so sex was heavy on the agenda but guess what? She ended being my girlfriend for 7 motherfucking years!!!!

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | June 24, 2011, 9:35 am
  18. Hahahaha Nice one Though How Did u do That From BootyCall to G/F for 7years!??

    Posted by @bubu009 | June 24, 2011, 9:51 am
  19. Hmmn first time!!! First time for me was painful and very clumsly..the were other failed attempts before the First time..I always ppushed my bf away…but on that day I was bent on popping it so I braced my self upp( he asked me several times if I was very sure of my decision) …..it was paiful,boring and way below my expectation….I concluded that sex was overrated..I was dissaoppinted,….I never looked forward to making love, but as timw went by I got a hang of it..I was 21 then……but now as I type u don’t want to mess with my BEDmatics as I’m a PRO. SEX is BLISS

    Posted by kankey | June 24, 2011, 10:04 am
  20. Hahaha! Love knows no bound na…intimacy is key!

    Posted by Ghazal | June 24, 2011, 10:05 am
  21. first time… nothing special at all… monotonous to and fro motion… awkward

    Posted by kblewin | June 24, 2011, 10:09 am
  22. My first time was clumsy..very so that I’m sure that I was like an ironing board for fear if I moved, something would just go wrong. And guess what, it was on an Ash wednesday and I had to go to church afterwards. Let’s just say the angels were not smiling at me that day.

    Posted by The unknown | June 24, 2011, 10:14 am
  23. took me 4 years to try again. Then again I’m pro abstinence (d flesh is weak sumtimes jare)

    Posted by anon | June 24, 2011, 10:18 am
  24. My 1st time; I was 14/15 yrs old, & it was to a fat sex hawker.

    It was Bleeeh; Her pussy was as wide as the hole when sum1 stands akimbo.
    Because I’d paid, I decided to waste her time. I kept on pumping, knowing to me that I could spend 4days there without cuming.

    After like 30mins, she asked “u never cum ni?” I just smiled, shook my head & stood up. Removed the condom & threw it on the ground…. Waste of #100

    Since then, I’ve been celibate 😉

    Posted by 2ndelawal | June 24, 2011, 10:26 am
  25. My first time, hmmm, I actually didn’t knw I hd been popped d first time until I tried again d next time…lol.it wasn’t painful as people claimed n no blood n my bf den ws soo gentle.I guess dts y I didn’t knw, I thot he just enetered bt didn’t pop it, imagine my surprise wen he entered properly d 2nd time.I was 20 n ever since den I’ve loved sex..guess I ws lucky..I still think sex is overrated tho..

    Posted by lipsealed | June 24, 2011, 10:30 am
  26. First of all TULA..its raining mehnnn….

    Oh yea…ve always been a sexually active person…I was molested a lot wen I was little but was neva dsvirgnd..I actually made up my mind to lose my virginity at 18 – above which I accomplished…

    Plus the first time ended being a RAPE!

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | June 24, 2011, 10:31 am
  27. I am still a virgin!… Seriously!

    Posted by @hueyblack | June 24, 2011, 10:31 am
  28. I love you. Seriously… ❤

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | June 24, 2011, 10:50 am
  29. abi ooo

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 24, 2011, 10:53 am
  30. I was 19 and it sucked!! Said guy was 13 yrs older than I was, a master in bed and humongous down there but it still sucked(maybe due to his size)!! He actually used the “just the tip” line on me..tho we used to do that b4..but I just felt wharraheck!! Pop it already! No blood, no pain! Until I went to pee!! Then all hell was let loose! Chai! Memories..

    Posted by no name for now | June 24, 2011, 10:55 am
  31. So nobody is reporting the ‘Only the tip’ yarns….Just so you know,there’s a place for recovery in lagos o…its called ‘Only the tip’ anonymous.

    Posted by The unknown | June 24, 2011, 10:56 am
  32. there the comments go again….. *now sitting back, and watching ‘V for Vendetta’*… P.S. I totally love novacrossqueen’s writings.. methinks shez cool!.. and crazy @ the same time 😀 here’s her blog: http://pinkbullets33.wordpress.com/

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 24, 2011, 11:01 am
  33. Hmmmmmmm*thinking*. I was in 22 and in ma final year wen my Boyfy then eventually succeeded in popping ma V-bubble.(After many furtile attempts). It was painful and dint meet up to ma expectation of ma first time (considering the fact that I’ve been brainwashed by the romance novels and the guy was hummmphh *endowed*)…..but I was glad I had done away with it

    Posted by MzDharmi | June 24, 2011, 11:01 am
  34. My first time was PAINFUL! I was 19. And it was on valentine’s day. Heehee. We(my boyfriend n I) had tried several times b4 buh I was always too scared of my *hole* being too small. Anyways, I decided I was gawna overlook all my fears n give it up. Threw in val’s day to make it a bit “lomantic”. Mehn, that nyt was a nyt I’ll never 4get. Felt like a dagger was piercing my insides.

    Posted by UrNextDoorNeighbour | June 24, 2011, 11:02 am
  35. 7? This life….

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | June 24, 2011, 11:07 am
  36. im a virgin, hey

    Posted by Zara | June 24, 2011, 11:09 am
  37. Shelt! I was raped //0_0\\ I was 15, she was 17. It was fun tho, thanks to all the lessons from Jack Napier, Mandigo, Lexington Steele, Lucy Duval, Dina Rae, Dolly……if I continue this list u go think say na grammy award I dey recieve

    Posted by Skilobo | June 24, 2011, 11:14 am
  38. got disvirgined at age 20. twas a messy experience. i cried cos it was too damn painful and bf was a virgin as well (yeah i could tell. he was so clumsy).whenever he tried to go in it hurt so damn much that i was begging for alcohol to take away the pain… anyways it took him 3 different days (trials) to completely remove my hymen… messy sturves and i bled bad. i tink i have the tightest ***** ever

    Looking back, i tink part of the reasons why he cldnt just get through was cos my heart wasnt in it. I loved him and all (still love him) but i just didnt want to lose my virginity so i just couldnt open up..yeah back then i was a card carrying member of team abstinence. …
    He was my first and only…..and i’ve done it countless times with him since then and he gets better and better everytime.Infact right now he hits it like a porn star… hehehe

    Posted by SomeoneSpecial | June 24, 2011, 11:23 am
  39. My 1st was wit some guy I was datin n lyked @ d time. And d myth about u been drawn to ur 1st all ur lyfe is jus a pile of lizard crap (I think) 1 thing is for sure sha.. D PAIN and d feelin of oh so dats it!!! However, I fink it’l b nice to give it to some1 u really love cos I dint love my 1st n I did it jus to b sure dere wnt b unnecessary entanglements. Dat said I lost mine @ 20 n I’m jus 21:|

    Posted by vagin | June 24, 2011, 11:28 am
  40. Disregard me previous comment. I’m actually still a virgin, that’s if guys lose virginity though.

    Posted by 2ndelawal | June 24, 2011, 11:35 am
  41. Oh so only girls have 1st times experiences abi?
    Guys, the palm of your hand doesn’t count as 1st o!

    Posted by Lagoshunter | June 24, 2011, 11:37 am
  42. Now the vagina seems to be blah and has expired,can the toolsman and co..think something up on anal sex?bless your souls but they are out there having it.

    Posted by iamsamsie | June 24, 2011, 11:58 am
  43. @slevin its only bad things u like

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | June 24, 2011, 12:00 pm
  44. My first time was when i was 18, my then boyfriend (who was 10 yrs older) was tired of waiting till i was ready so he took it without my consent after 2 months of a relationship..it hurt physically, emotionally and psychologically

    it’s not a cute story like everyone elses but it was my first time and I always remember.

    Posted by Bruisedone | June 24, 2011, 12:10 pm
  45. Just checked out her blog and me likey!!!! great stuff .. hope she puts up posts often.. cos i’ve sharply subscribed…. cant get enuf of them juicy blogs.

    Posted by Domina | June 24, 2011, 12:22 pm
  46. Havnt had a first time so ima just sit back and read other peoples’ comments … Yarr ..love the writing Zara. X

    Posted by palavachronicles | June 24, 2011, 12:23 pm
  47. Huh!!! So he was 24… Chai!! 24 to 16.. Ok dat’s wat I call child molestion o!! Aha ahan!!

    Posted by Ayob | June 24, 2011, 12:27 pm
  48. hahahahahahaha!

    Posted by chinnydiva | June 24, 2011, 1:00 pm
  49. No good Catholic girl loses her virginity on Ash Wednesday!!

    See you in hell fire…..

    : )

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | June 24, 2011, 1:01 pm
  50. errr….don’t actually know anything my first time X_X not even how old i was… it was probably so bad my mind decided to block it out for all eternity cos i’v really tried to remember but nada….

    anyway, my oda ‘first time’ was ionno it was bad bad but it was SWEET!!! i guess he knew what he was doing n actually thought it was my first until he told me otherwise…wasn’t messy no blood or anything but it was really sweaty….we wr at it for quite a while sef…

    and it was so not planned strated as good ol’ game of touchery…was scared shitless afterwards cos we didnt use condoms…smh…naive me…still don’t lyk condoms but its not lyk i have a choice nau

    yh n i was 15 then

    Posted by mz_teee | June 24, 2011, 1:07 pm
  51. N i tut i was d only one that blocked d memory of a 1st time. *relief*

    Posted by Bubble G. | June 24, 2011, 1:41 pm
  52. Was 16, she was 17, she had experience, I didn’t, but she didn’t know dat. I came, she didn’t. But it got better from there. 😀

    Posted by tobicomm | June 24, 2011, 1:57 pm
  53. rotflmfbhooooo

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | June 24, 2011, 2:04 pm
  54. LOL.. Dont mind them…

    Posted by thetoolsman | June 24, 2011, 2:06 pm
  55. Child molestation? Dude,it was far better dan screwing sum 16 yrs old boy dat couldn’t locate d clit.3-|

    Posted by lilypan | June 24, 2011, 2:24 pm
  56. My first time was many years ago I was barely 12 and she was about 19.she sucked me till I came then went in from behind.thank God she took that step that turned me into a sex addict.

    Posted by ruud_bishop | June 24, 2011, 3:48 pm
  57. my first time….i made so much noise nd i was freaking scared b4 he went it. wen he finally did, i jst didnt even know wat happened, for somedays after i kept lyin to myself dat i was still a virgin. my second was lovely tho.

    Posted by mariam | June 24, 2011, 4:05 pm
  58. Hmmmmm. Memories……

    Posted by missqueue | June 24, 2011, 4:45 pm
  59. Hahahahahahaa. Funny comments here. First time was hilarous now that I think of it. I had psyched myself so much and read books on it, even discussed it with my more experienced friends. When it was about to happen, I started drama. Err… “Turn the lights off. No no no back on! What are you doing? Shouldn’t you kiss me some more? Okay sorry, get me drunk. Forget it, I will puke. Okay just do it”

    Posted by Miz | June 24, 2011, 4:51 pm
  60. First time was on isaac john, ikeja, in a car… Need I say more? Kept thinkin so wht was d big deal anyway. Funny thing is the police came before I was done… Embarrassing stuurvs… Lol

    Posted by bykerboi | June 24, 2011, 5:33 pm
  61. My first time, He actually used the “just the tip” line on me and it was not a fun experience. I was 15 although I already in the university…It went on for about 2 months although he never fully entered me and I started dating someone 2 months to my 16th birthday, even though he went in fully and we dated for 1 year 7 months, the sex was just bleh!! But till I met my 2nd boyfriend, I understood the statement “Sex is bliss”…we have been dating for almost 3 years and sometimes I wish he was the first one…..:) In my opinion, the first time is just always overrated except if you’re ready of course.

    Posted by Enigma | June 24, 2011, 5:48 pm
  62. Hmm…my 1st time, I was 17 n my bf was 24…forced me into it 2months into d relationship, it hurt badly, just very little blood…but I remember he had sex with me 3 times that day! N everyday for a year till I started enjoying it the following year…chai memories

    Posted by agirl | June 24, 2011, 7:27 pm
  63. looool….well dat’s true but a 20yrs guy wud hav been ok….. anyways it has happend it has happend…

    Posted by Ayob | June 24, 2011, 10:22 pm
  64. hmmmn…*nods very slowly*

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 24, 2011, 11:22 pm
  65. hmmmn…*nods very slowly*

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 24, 2011, 11:22 pm
  66. I was 17, he was 18. My first boyfriend. We had tried a few times but it would hurt when he put just the “head” in. One day, I was on top and just sat on it. It went all the way in and it felt great!! Good sex isn’t even overrated o!
    I lost my virginity on top 🙂

    Posted by Nonametoday | June 25, 2011, 7:10 am
  67. First time was wen I was 19.wanted to get married as a virgin. My then gf was havin none of dat.so she tricked me and went on top.we came @ d same time. Memories…

    Sex rocks.whoever says its overated hasn’t bin shagged proper-like

    Posted by Immortal TeddyBear | June 25, 2011, 3:18 pm
  68. Lmao. why u dey nod na?

    Posted by tobicomm | June 25, 2011, 5:13 pm
  69. First time we did it, he tried so hard to get in that he was soft by the time he was in. He pumped for a bit and probably came because he relieved me of the pain by getting the fuck off me.

    Apparently i was still a virgin because it was the second time i bled. I thought i was going to die. Them i wanted to kill him. The sweating and grunting and breathing in my ear. Paper beats rock and disgust beats horniness.

    Posted by Ms Congeniality | June 25, 2011, 9:03 pm
  70. and did she become the wife?

    Posted by H•A•W | June 26, 2011, 1:35 am
  71. Names I have never seen comment here before. Isoorai!

    Posted by Nutella. | June 26, 2011, 7:57 am
  72. Hehehe I guess I was raped then. Cos I got into the university at 15. D dude was 24….. Buh I drugged him to get sex cos he refused to give me. Buh he claims wen he got in, i wasn’t sealed and I knew tWas my first. Na for him pocket sha.

    Posted by Yvvyeve | June 26, 2011, 4:09 pm
  73. Hehehe I guess I was raped then. Cos I got into the university at 15. D dude was 24….. Buh I drugged him to get sex cos he refused to give me. Buh he claims wen he got in, i wasn’t sealed and I knew tWas my first. Na for him pocket sha…… Or all d times my uncles were molesting me as a child did it pop?? ;( yeah I was molested too……

    Posted by Yvvyeve | June 26, 2011, 4:17 pm
  74. Does this dude know normal hollywood stars too? Ahan… kiloderm

    Posted by Radeyo | June 27, 2011, 7:43 am
  75. Hmmmm….my first was a married man, though i didn’t kno @ dat time & he ws 10years older & it sucked.

    Posted by sociallymisunderstood | June 27, 2011, 11:01 am
  76. Hmm, so I was raped!

    At least according to LagosHunter.

    She was 19. I was 14.

    Mad sturvs. Super Nintendo. Toblerone. NEPA does their thing. No one at home. Let’s play Twister. I’m upside down. I see bobbie. She sees a boner….

    The rest is history.

    I Played “Twister” for the next 3 yrs.

    Shouts out to Jack Napier! Jack Collins! Hugh Hefner!

    Sex is always amazing if u do it right.

    Knowing how to do it na ur palava oh!

    Go and learn.

    F.

    Posted by @FoluShaw | June 29, 2011, 5:50 am
  77. Taaaar!!! iwo, sex addict??? Can you even see your tool when you look down???

    Posted by Frodo | June 29, 2011, 8:19 am
  78. I was 17…my boyfriend and I had been heavily making out for a while…you know when uve passed the point of no return, n u know ure going to end up doing it.
    Sha, I had had a lot to drink, went over to his place, n the last thing I remember was making out with him. As I’d find out the next day, we had sex that night, and I reeaaaally couldn’t remember anything.
    We agreed to count the next time we did it as the first time. So yeah. You know how people hv official age n real age? Yes, like that, I have two first times.
    Hmm but I wasn’t emotionally ready tho, I was shaken for a bit, like a week…and sex with that boyfriend wasn’t it at all. I just could not bring myself to connect with him. Yeah it succckked!
    But I’m in a different place now, m good 😀

    Posted by no name | June 30, 2011, 2:17 pm
  79. I was 17, he was 18, it was prom night.. I thought I was ready..wasn’t really into it tho. It was really bad..like I just laid there thinking *please make it stop*..It was a horrible first time..But i’m 19 now and my present boyfriend sure as hell knows what he’s doing..Sex is Bliss when u know what you’re doing 😀

    Posted by sexXyliltHaNg | July 18, 2011, 3:05 am
  80. Any married folk (who waited) in the house? Let’s hear y’all.

    Posted by Blossom | August 1, 2011, 7:55 am

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