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Our bestfriends wedding

Our Best Friends Wedding: Episode 7: Darlene

Hey everyone, sorry this is coming a bit late. Let’s get in it. If you haven’t been following the series, use this link here to read up on all you’ve missed and for those who don’t know, the series is jointly written by @cikk0 and I. You can check out his blog here. Also, voting continues at the Nigerian blog awards. Use this link here to vote for us. Thanks. Now to Cha-cha and the girls. Hope you enjoy todays episode and as always, use the comment box to share your thoughts. Cheers.

Phone rings. *Click!*


Charles: Hello

Jade: So, are you going to tell me who it was or do I have to figure it out?

Charles: Huh? Who? What are you talking about?

Jade: Oh come on Charles. I’m a woman. I know there was someone at your place before I got there today. I couldn’t miss that Liz Arden.

Silence… Loud yet eerie silence.

Jade: So…

Charles: So nothing, Jade.

Jade: Oh wow. I can’t believe you’re actually going to make me push you for this.

Charles: Don’t push me Jade. It’s nothing.

Jade: Same way you and Kemi were ‘nothing’ back then.

Charles: What?

Jade: Come on Charles. I’ve been your best friend for well over ten years. I guess I know you more than you think I do.

Charles: What do you know about Kemi and I?

Jade: That really doesn’t matter now. I’m just worried about you and this decision to get married. I know how much pressure your parents failed marriage has put on you but please, please, please don’t bottle this in. You asked us to help you so let us REALLY help.

Charles: And you guys have been wonderful.

Jade: Well, if you say so. I have to go. I’ll talk to you later then.

Charles: Alright. Bye.





I walked into the room painted all white and the blandness immediately got to me. “So much for an office,” I turned and said to Darlene.

“Oh please shut up jo. This is still a hospital, remember? Mr. Creative Director.” We both laughed and then sat down beside each other on a set of beige twin sofas mechanically arranged in a corner of the office.

“Charles Charles. The one and only Cha-cha. Wow. It is so good to see you again. Gosh, I’ve actually missed you…”

“Hey, that’s totally your fault. You’re the one who chose to go to nursing school to learn to save everyone else’s life but mine.” I chastised.

“I followed my dream Charles. That’s one thing I’m happy to say I learnt from you.” Darlene looked into space, memories flooding her mind. Her blue eyes still caused my skin to tingle. Born a half-caste, but it seemed the European blood in her totally over-shadowed the Nigerian bit. “So how is everyone: your mom, your sister?” Darlene brought me back to the present.


“Well, everyone is good. Thank God my sister ‘dreamt another dream’ and changed her mind about going down the nursing line like you…” I was being self-righteous on purpose. No reason. Just me being the occasional douche.

“And what do you mean by that? I’m sure you bullied the poor girl. Someday you’ll publicly accept and perhaps come to terms with the fact that your fear of injections is what drives your seeming dislike for medical practitioners.” Darlene always teased me about that.


“Oh my, you know, sometimes I really wish you hadn’t given me that injection,” I replied. “How can you say that. How then would I have felt that your ridiculously soft behind and subsequently fallen for you?”

“Oh, so NOW, you admit it was my ass that got you!” We both laughed together. “And how about your other sisters?” Darlene questioned.

“What other sisters?”

“Oh come off it. Kemi and Jade. Is Jade still in love with you?” Her words cut right through me. Darlene had always alluded to this but this was the first time she had said it to my face. “Why are you all quiet like you never knew. Well, knowing you, I’m sure you did and I do hope y’all did or are doing something about it.” It was obvious Darlene was ready to be completely expressive about the subject. Too many people had accused Jade and I. How ironic.





“Did you get Charles’ email?” Kemi asked.

“No, what email?” Jade said.

“He said he was trying to call you but the network was acting up. He had to rush to Abuja today.”

“Abuja eh? Hmm.. and I heard from the grapevine that Chioma might just be in Abuja.”

“Oh is that so?.. Anyways, he won’t be meeting us but he sent me his Darlene review and asked us to pick the next victim.”

“Wait, let me guess.. it’s probably a no and it had to do with the way she smells?” Jade’s sarcasm made Kemi wail with laughter. Once her mirth-high had receded:

“You know your friend too well. Let me read you his words: ‘You know I have mad love for that girl. She’s awesome. It’s just that I hate hospitals and I can’t have one living with me.’


“Yup. That’s Cha-cha alright…” Jade spat,

“…the man we’ve come to accept and love the way he is.” Kemi finished. Jade’s countenance at once became grim as she inquired: “Kemi, are you in a tell-all mood? I need to ask you something…” Kemi cocked her head to one side as she mulled over what Jade could possibly want to know. “Sure. Wasap?” “I just want to know what happened with you and Charles that night… the night before your wedding…”

“Oh dear.” Kemi exhaled. She lowered her eyes the mood became grim instantly.

“Don’t ask me how I knew,” Jade continued, “Charles didn’t tell me either. I just want to hear it from you.”


Kemi wore a how-do-I-tackle-this-without-coming-off-as-the-devil smile before offering: “I really don’t know… It was that his stupid charming, affable nature. The charming bastard got to me, Jade. As you know, Charles more or less got me interested in the Captain and for almost 9 months, I didn’t see any other person. That’s so unlike me.” She raised her eyes to meet Jade’s before resuming:

“And then he proposed. I was scared. I didn’t know if I could stay committed in a marriage for so long. I had always flirted with Charles. From the day we met. I had a crush on him for so long and then we just connected and became friends. He was the only one who could understand my confusion. I went to him that night so we could talk. So I could let out my fears.” She paused, trying to gauge what effect her words would have.

“How do they say it? One thing led to another…” Kemi exhaled again “…and we were kissing furiously…” Kemi stopped as the memories seemed a bit too much to talk more of. But Jade, slightly crestfallen already, wanted to hear it all.

“Then what happened?”

“Oh nothing much after. Charles is decent after all. He couldn’t go through with it. I cried that night and he held me. I found the answers to my question and I think it’s time you also found yours, Jade.”

Jade had welled up with emotion now. Part relief, part uncertainty. But Kemi was now certain. Defiant even.

“In fact,” Kemi said, “I think I know what to do.”


About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman


47 thoughts on “Our Best Friends Wedding: Episode 7: Darlene

  1. Gold!!!!!

    Posted by highlandblue | June 30, 2011, 10:04 am
  2. Hi charles

    Posted by kechilauren | June 30, 2011, 10:04 am
  3. Bronze!!!!

    Posted by freshprinz | June 30, 2011, 10:07 am
  4. 3rd.. Ah..well

    Posted by Jasmine | June 30, 2011, 10:07 am
  5. I’m not the first 😦

    Posted by Foxy | June 30, 2011, 10:10 am
  6. Yes!!!!! *BBM Dancing smiley* I did it…3rd. *pops bottle of Zobo Imperial*

    Posted by freshprinz | June 30, 2011, 10:11 am
  7. ohh nooo u cant stop here u just cant…nw i cnt wait 4 d next episode 😦

    Posted by pebbles | June 30, 2011, 10:12 am
  8. Oh my gawd!!! Dts all I ve 2say 4now

    Posted by @mizztosin | June 30, 2011, 10:13 am
  9. Top 5…yes? No?

    Posted by joanne | June 30, 2011, 10:13 am
  10. OMG! That charles ehn! Jisox! This jez confirms that you cnt be friends wiv the opposite sex wivout sparks flying.

    Posted by @demmylee | June 30, 2011, 10:14 am
  11. 😦

    Posted by Didi | June 30, 2011, 10:16 am
  12. Now am saying “shet men”. Wonder what will happen now

    Posted by @mizztosin | June 30, 2011, 10:16 am
  13. This Charles is a bad guy…

    Posted by agirl | June 30, 2011, 10:18 am
  14. Hahahahaha…
    This is getting interesting!

    Posted by minini | June 30, 2011, 10:23 am
  15. GEGEAUN!!!! now the real story has strtd,
    kemi would end up planning a date or sumfn 4 jade n chacha or probably leave them in a deserted area 4 a wk wiv no means of communication, they’ll v sex, fight, chacha keeps searching 4 “the one”
    until reality daWNS in n he ends up wiv jade…
    or ur guys can jst put a twist by ensuring that 1 of them dies or sumfn :s
    *going back 2 sip my alomo berry blast schnapps*

    all typos r mine o…

    Posted by Foxy | June 30, 2011, 10:24 am
  16. hoin ????
    u can so b friends wiv sum of them o

    Posted by Foxy | June 30, 2011, 10:25 am
  17. I have the solution to this seemingly complex problem. Wud require aLl 3 parties present in a secluded beach hot, whipped cream, holy water, 7 sponges, 3 scented candles, a crucifix & a bottle of massage oil…..

    & of course Zobo Imperial….

    Posted by freshprinz | June 30, 2011, 10:28 am
  18. yeah it is :).

    Posted by Incognito | June 30, 2011, 10:29 am
  19. Gheuuun!!! 😀

    Posted by mizzkenzo | June 30, 2011, 10:32 am
  20. This story should finish na… 😦

    Posted by joanne | June 30, 2011, 10:36 am
  21. Seen!! The story is just getting sweeter. Best episode so far (In my opinion)

    Posted by iyamilele | June 30, 2011, 10:47 am
  22. I knew Jade was the answer to Charles just like am the answer to the Toolsmans :d

    Posted by dat ibo girl | June 30, 2011, 11:04 am
  23. 😀

    Posted by Glory | June 30, 2011, 11:06 am
  24. Oh i like the way this is going.I kinda already suspected that one of them would be in love with charles.It’s really rare to be good friends with an attractive and charming guy without ‘sparks flying’.Good work.

    Posted by Doyin | June 30, 2011, 11:29 am
  25. *sigh*

    Posted by kemmiiii | June 30, 2011, 11:31 am
  26. This might just be a story … but in reality, guys watch out : if your gf/bf is so interested in keeping a particular male/female friend (always communicating or hanging together), there’s 98% possibility they are fucking or will soon be fucking each other

    Posted by Rebel | June 30, 2011, 11:56 am
  27. Cha Cha is a Confam’d ConfamMa! My Gad. He had even almost Confam’d Kemi too? A night before her wedding?? :O Confam Guy! Jade won’t even know what hit her. Great blog. Awesome serie. (Y)

    Posted by Genesis | June 30, 2011, 12:02 pm
  28. Errmmm, sorry o, but is cha cha aka hobnobs by any chance? #JusAsking

    Posted by @deevagal | June 30, 2011, 12:35 pm
  29. I want that drink…

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | June 30, 2011, 12:48 pm
  30. I still don’t think Charles and Jade will hook up…

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | June 30, 2011, 12:50 pm
  31. not possible o…
    chacha doesn’t v a big head (or does he :s)

    Posted by Foxy | June 30, 2011, 2:41 pm
  32. His next date is wth Jade? It better be! Those 2 are perfect for each other, going on dates wit the other girls on that list would be a waste of time

    Posted by Dami | June 30, 2011, 3:38 pm
  33. I’ve been reading this for a while now and I’ve totally enjoyed it but if u sway in the direction of setting up Cha Cha and Jade, it would just become a very random romantic comedy so please don’t… We the fans of ‘Our BestFriends Wedding’ are begging…. Thanks

    Posted by taiofierce | June 30, 2011, 4:35 pm
  34. First, I didn’t get a notification! And I just hope you prove dem all wrong!!!!!!

    Posted by topeesther | June 30, 2011, 4:51 pm
  35. I agree with you!

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 30, 2011, 5:16 pm
  36. I know! 🙂

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 30, 2011, 5:18 pm
  37. This is getting really interesting…..surprise us by not making chacha and jade a couple but nothing sad though like one of em dying or having aids or smfn….if someone has aids its def charles though….

    Posted by deevarh | June 30, 2011, 5:24 pm
  38. Jade is in love wit chacha, chacha is in luv wit kemi, kemi is in luv wit d captain……

    Posted by dee2qte | June 30, 2011, 5:38 pm
  39. I’m liking the Charles character sha…

    Posted by Shawana Kolawole | June 30, 2011, 7:13 pm
  40. I’ve been following the story but never commented. The hopeless romantic that I am,I really want Charles and Jade to end up together. *now crossing my fingers & every other crossable thing on my body 😀 *

    Posted by Jasmine | June 30, 2011, 7:39 pm
  41. yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepa……..i don’t like this suspense oh iyammmm dieing here

    Posted by Towsyn | June 30, 2011, 8:04 pm
  42. I reali hp cha cha n jade hook up n it wrks out!
    Bt d irony of life is most “cha cha’s” neva feel d same way d “jade’s” feel, gues its true wat dey say “life can b unfair”!

    Posted by mimi | June 30, 2011, 8:53 pm
  43. Well…I didn’t see the Kemi thing coming…so that was fresh and a very nice twist…Jade’s own…been singing that tune for too long…I wanna see how y’all end it…nice stuff fellas..

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | June 30, 2011, 9:42 pm
  44. Looks like it’s just you and me in this corner, bruv. But just in case, I’ve started boiling and peppering my best original leather shoes… pomo beta pass canvas….

    Posted by 0latoxic | July 1, 2011, 9:53 am
  45. i knew it!!!

    Posted by kiah | July 1, 2011, 10:37 am
  46. I knew it!! This is some Grey’s Anatomy shit all lined up!! Well written Toolsman *batting eyelids*

    Posted by EdoBarbie | July 1, 2011, 11:27 am
  47. Awwwwh! I love this piece mhen!its the best so far. Kemi and chacha?never thought of it.
    Thumbs up to toolsman (y)

    Posted by mabijo | July 3, 2011, 5:09 am

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