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Betty Tuesdays

Letting Go.

“Samirah…”

She felt his chest rumble beneath her ear as he called her name. She sighed and curled closer to him. They were sharing the large armchair in his living room. His hands moved rhythmically across her back. She sighed again.

“Yes Ty?”

His hands paused.

“Let me in, S. Let me into your head.”

They’d been together for four months. Samirah was one of those weird ones- The men didn’t understand but wanted her even more fiercely. She chose Ty. Ty chose her. They fell in love. But Samirah still held a part of her back. They’d shared their bodies; their homes. But not that.

He’d shared his all. Told her everything. “I hate my family,” he’d said. “I never want to see them again. Ever.”

She’d consoled him but never let go of what he wanted the most. The part of her soul that was behind a thousand barriers, all made of steel.

“I love you, Ty.”

“I know you do, Sam.. But… Talk to me. I’m here.”

She turned her head so it was buried in his broad chest; her muffled words drifted up to him. “A long while ago..”

And she let go and let him in. Her fears. Her past. All. And when the tears fell freely; he cried with her. Reveling in her words. Not the words in themselves, but what saying them meant. She had given herself totally. To him.

And they took themselves, there on the carpeted floor in front of the armchair that now held significance- of two souls reaching out and melding into each other. For life.

The white walls were a sharp contrast to her purple kaftan. Her hair was standing around her pale face. Dark circles underneath her slanted eyes.

She found the doctor. He looked down at her kindly.

“Where is he?” Her voice came out in a whisper. A crack in her voice. “Is he dead? Just tell me.”

“No. But are you family?”

She let out a sharp breath. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

Tears slipped down her face. Relief, evident in her dark eyes.

The doctor frowned; hesitated then said-

“Come with me.”

He was sitting up in bed, smiling at some stranger.

He looked right at her. Then looked away.

She walked in. “Ty..”

“Who are you?” The stranger asked harshly. “Who is she, John?” He asked the doctor.

The doctor frowned again. “Sorry Kenny. She said she was family.” He turned to her. “I thought..”

But she wasn’t listening to either of them. She walked over to Ty who was looking confused.

“Ty…”

She reached out to touch the bandage on his head. “Taye…” He was quiet. “Taye?”

He stayed quiet.

Then. “I’m sorry, I don’t know you.”

She froze.

She looked to the doctor. His face had softened again. “I’m sorry, Taye has lost some of his memory.”

The stranger spoke again. “Well, I’m his brother. His twin brother. Who are you to Taye?”

Samirah’s eyes cut back to Taye’s. Urging him to speak up. To remember. To remember them.

But after a few seconds, he looked away, uncomfortable.

“If you won’t answer, you might have to leave. The parents will soon be here, Mother won’t want a stranger lurking around.”

Samirah was silent. Her gaze still intent on Taye.

“Ty…”

Silence.

Then she turned and walked out of the room, the hospital and his life. Leaving most of herself behind.

******************

Hi everyone. So, first of all, I’d like to dedicate this post to my soul sister @Ms_Dania…be happy in Bayelsa. Now to the post. Writing this, I imagined just how difficult it is for some people to open up to others. The fear, the hurt, the pain that goes along with it. Now imagine this scenario after going through all of that. They say every decision in life is a gamble; some are just worth more than others. Imagine yourself as Samirah, would you stay, would you leave? Use the comment box and speak your mind. Ciao.

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About Betty

Attaining 'halcyon'... @UberBetty

Discussion

72 thoughts on “Letting Go.

  1. #campaignagainstfirstsyndrome

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | July 5, 2011, 9:00 am
  2. 2nd…pure water maybe?

    Posted by buga | July 5, 2011, 9:01 am
  3. Second!

    Posted by divadrama | July 5, 2011, 9:01 am
  4. 2nd, silver for me! YAY

    Posted by @deevagal | July 5, 2011, 9:02 am
  5. 3rd…..bronze 4 me

    Posted by blondie | July 5, 2011, 9:03 am
  6. Where is my bronze medal???

    Posted by ruud_bishop | July 5, 2011, 9:03 am
  7. Bet I haff almost given up on carrying first on this comment list. The day I do it ehn, I shall put up a new blog post chronicling my rise to the top of Toolsman comment posters. *now sulking back to read*

    Posted by highlandblue | July 5, 2011, 9:04 am
  8. 4th….

    Posted by blondie | July 5, 2011, 9:05 am
  9. oh, my!was i first 😀

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | July 5, 2011, 9:05 am
  10. 5th :d

    Posted by Foxy | July 5, 2011, 9:06 am
  11. I’m nt gon b tempted 2 read 😦 my exam starts soon,distraction get the behind me -_-
    Lemme jus read 3 lines 😉

    Posted by medeylicious | July 5, 2011, 9:06 am
  12. Haba una no dey work for office?

    Posted by iamsamsie | July 5, 2011, 9:07 am
  13. You take out time to describe every emotion and details of the characters.
    If i was samirah i’d’carry akpako and knack it on ty’s’head ! He must remember!.lol.ok seriously, i would just linger around for a while, hoping and praying he remembers..im not just sure how long “a while” is 😦

    Posted by kechilauren | July 5, 2011, 9:08 am
  14. 😦

    Posted by Cleo | July 5, 2011, 9:08 am
  15. 1st 10…
    The hardest thing to do is open up completely (o someone, d 2nd hardest thing 2do is letting go after opening up.

    Posted by Jasmine | July 5, 2011, 9:10 am
  16. And then most times I end up being the first person to make a real comment. OK. I have to say I come from a different planet on this issue. When I opened up for the first time, it hurt as hell. I felt vulnerable. My eyes hurt from the brightness of the light I had come into. At the same time, I breathed fresh air for the first time. I understood why humans are referred to as talking animals. We feel this need to connect with the world around us, as well as with Something or Someone greater than and above us. Opening up was so liberating that I have had to do it again and again, often to strangers I would never see again.

    OK. If I were Sam, I would walk away. I would write him letters reminding him of experiences that will be confirmed when others try to remind him of his past. Having been loved by him, my imprint on his soul would slowly come back as I stimulate his memory. I would fight for his love using guerilla tactics. He will remember. He would just have to.

    And for those medically interested, amnesia or the loss of memory through trauma has been known to be reversible. Much love Toolsman. Sorry the comment is so long. 😀

    Posted by highlandblue | July 5, 2011, 9:14 am
  17. 1st things first, I think thetoolsman blog shud disable the comment thread for atleast d first 10mins after posting something new… That way, pple can actually read d posts first and then comment afterwards… Ok I’m just kidding…. well, unless u’re gon’ do it

    Now to d main issue…. Errr, this story is not quite clear sha, I think I need to read it one more tym…

    Posted by Radeyo | July 5, 2011, 9:15 am
  18. I may just stay around …. linger and see if her remembers …. if he doesn’t well ….

    Posted by d3ola | July 5, 2011, 9:18 am
  19. *sigh* in some cases, people who have suffered amnesia, recover parts of their memory. He may not remember her for a while yet but still…

    Were I in her place, I wouldn’t cut him off so abruptly, it’s not like it’s fault. He may even fall in love with me all over again in his amnesic state.

    Posted by chinnydiva | July 5, 2011, 9:18 am
  20. Damn, this is hard……..I won’t leave tho, not initially. Sometimes people get memories back, maybe not the whole thing, but bits n pieces. If I loved enough to open myself I’ll work with what I have, usings pictures/songs n from there we’ll form better ones……..if he is willing.

    Posted by zany | July 5, 2011, 9:21 am
  21. Nawa o…samira..,¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

    Posted by iamsamsie | July 5, 2011, 9:22 am
  22. Ehya…..*sighs*

    Posted by twittinigerian | July 5, 2011, 9:22 am
  23. Glo is a weist!
    After I opened up to u, I won’t let him go so easily! I’ll hang arnd to try to let his family knw who I am to him! He’s d man I love, I don’t care if we have to start again on opening up to each other but I won’t walk away, at least not till iv tried everything!

    …. Errrm, if this were a soap opera though, maybe she’l fall in love with kehinde while both of them tried to nurse ty back to health.. These things happen!

    Posted by @deevagal | July 5, 2011, 9:22 am
  24. Nice one (y)

    **For those of who “still” looking for me “iff” please refer to my last tweet

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 5, 2011, 9:29 am
  25. Awww mehn! shit…
    Amnesia??? her lover?? damn damN!!!

    Posted by H•A•W | July 5, 2011, 9:33 am
  26. *pointing & laughing at Samira* NTOOH!!! Chai, e dey pain o…*exits scene laughing hysterically*

    Posted by freshprinz | July 5, 2011, 9:34 am
  27. 1st of all sef, that story isn’t complete o… gaun add maggi n salt to it
    to answer ur question betty, gosh … it’s going to be hard stayn… i mean, i’ll feel hurt n upset cos he was the only 1 i ever opened up to and then this had to happen ??? it’ll b very selfish of me to leave but it all boils down to emotions …

    Posted by Foxy | July 5, 2011, 9:35 am
  28. Sam shouldn’t just walk away from someone that was able to penetrate the steel walls, finding such a person ain’t easy. She should try and help him remember and if he doesnt remember, there was a reason he fell in love with her in the first place, they could start over… hopefully.
    This is so sad 😥

    Posted by Simmylala | July 5, 2011, 9:37 am
  29. u’r jst mean joh…

    Posted by Foxy | July 5, 2011, 9:40 am
  30. But hw come sam doesn’t knw bout kEhinde…. Seems ty was still holding sum tins back jare……

    Posted by lade | July 5, 2011, 9:54 am
  31. Waoh!she probably worked away because she is too hurt to comprehend what is happening,so she needs to go and cry in private and if I were her,I would come back later,explain to the family who I am and stick with my man.
    One thing I don’t understand tho uberbetty, ty doesn’t want to see his family ever again cos he hates them,how come they were the first to be at the hospital? Because,as I read I assumed he wasn’t communicating with them again and doesn’t live with any of them.

    Posted by mabijo | July 5, 2011, 9:55 am
  32. 😦 😦

    Posted by thetoolsman | July 5, 2011, 9:58 am
  33. or she can just bang the doctor and move on ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

    Posted by DOMINATRIX | July 5, 2011, 10:01 am
  34. To me leaving seems to be the best option. It took so long to open up in the first place, and whatever she told him must have been pretty deep considering it took that long and it brought out emotions both of them probably never imagined they had. Staying would only make things harder, being reminded every passing day that one that you shared so much with doesn’t remember any bit of it, causing extreme emotional pain on Samirah’s part. Hopefully he’ll eventually remember and search for her. If not its better to start from the beginning again.

    Posted by Anu | July 5, 2011, 10:05 am
  35. I thought you’d latch on to the familiarity between the doctor and twin brother. If Ty was brought in, twouldn’t have taken the doctor long to know Taye X was Kenny X’s twin.

    (I know Airtel’s gonna show. Forgive them)
    Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone provided by Airtel Nigeria.

    Posted by Betty | July 5, 2011, 10:06 am
  36. Wrongest day for me to have read this…wish I could lose my memory right now!

    Posted by kelvin | July 5, 2011, 10:20 am
  37. HA!!! NO O!!!
    KO POSS!!!!
    How can i share what would make me weep uncontrollably and then you go and get yourself in such a situation. I would beat him o!
    LoL
    Ok seriously…i dont know what i would do. I would hang around and pray like hell that he remembers me though.
    And y does the guys twin not know about her anyway??

    Posted by beforesheimplodes | July 5, 2011, 10:23 am
  38. Hmmmmmm! Quite touching but I won’t just walk away! I think I’ld hang around a little while and try 2 make him remember but if he still doesn’t we can start afresh and if dat isn’t possible then I’ld walk away.But I won’t give up so easily like she did cos its not as if he did it intentionally

    Posted by bumzylicious | July 5, 2011, 10:41 am
  39. Opening up to people is pretty easy for me because I don’t believe in secrets. My first instinct would be to walk away. But I’ll first try to convince the family, with pictures, letters etc, but if they(the man included) aint having it, I’ll move on. Such is life.

    Posted by EdoBarbie | July 5, 2011, 10:48 am
  40. you didn’t tell me you were going off twitter babe. I feel slighted. I hope you are okay though?

    Posted by chinnydiva | July 5, 2011, 10:53 am
  41. @radeyo,give nelly his line back!lol!buh seriously,being vulnerable is a necessary evil and once ur in a committed relationship,one has to let go!

    Posted by divadrama | July 5, 2011, 10:58 am
  42. Hi5!

    Posted by Hot doctor | July 5, 2011, 11:07 am
  43. That was selfish of her. I would have stayed and tried to make him remember.
    The people who come here to play 1st, 2nd and so on are annoying and childish. Drop ur comment and go.

    Posted by Gbemi | July 5, 2011, 11:15 am
  44. I cn rel8 to the finding it hard to open up bit. Am goin thru it now. But if I do manage to open up n u lose ur memory, u had beta lose ur life too o. Cos it took a host of angels 4 me 2 open up. Dt same host had beta tk u wf dem

    Posted by some girl | July 5, 2011, 11:19 am
  45. 1st to comment on Gbemi’s comment!!! 😀

    Posted by highlandblue | July 5, 2011, 11:22 am
  46. Hmmn…classic Betty…guess if he lost his memory, well, he’s lost his memory. There’s nothing she can do but hope he gains it back. I could go all cheesy n say love will help him remember, but if his family (even his own twin brother) don’t know her, then the likelihood of her getting close to him again is really slim. Poor poor Samirah. *sips from his can of shilled Zobo Endorphins*

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | July 5, 2011, 11:25 am
  47. awww…why so mad tho…allow them na…after all Tula isn’t complaining…here have some Zobo Endorphins it’ll lift ur mood…heheheheheh 😀

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | July 5, 2011, 11:42 am
  48. Another one of those posts….sigh.

    Girl tells boy secret. Boy has an accident and forgets everything.
    That sounds like a complete undo to me.
    Nothing to analyze or discuss here.
    Boy is back to knowing nothing about girl again.
    It’s not like his knowing was gonna make a huge difference in her life (at least from the story)

    On a serious note, misery finds company in itself.
    Sam had no business being in a relationship with a guy who had is own emotional baggage…..

    //I don talk my own finish//

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 5, 2011, 11:49 am
  49. *sips Kunu*

    Posted by EdoBarbie | July 5, 2011, 11:59 am
  50. Riley’s not here yet. 😦 …Nice post. If I was Sam, only Juju will remove me from that hospital. Amnesia ko. God alone knows finding that level of perfection in a relationship is a once in a lifetime experience. I come love up finish.. Expose my life.. U come dey yarn amnesia. *uti voice* ABEGABEGABEG

    Posted by Genesis | July 5, 2011, 12:08 pm
  51. I hear shock helps bring memories back. That said, all he needs is brunt force trauma upside his head. A bed pan maybe…

    Posted by Ms Congeniality | July 5, 2011, 12:12 pm
  52. but u ppl are very farmiliar spirits ooooo. HIAN! iz only sam that u like? that said while its sad that he dsnt remember her, that she could lay herself bare to him says that shes on the road to recovery (if u cant talk about sum stuff, it means ur still hurting from it and that thing still has power over u). The good thing is it gets easier though. if u opened up once, u can open up again. from the tone the kehinde person is even taking, i can almost see how it would go with his family. i’d say she should stay and be his friend. dont force it. like sumone said, theres a reason they fell in love before. his immediate need tho wld be for a frnd seing as he must have had reasons for hating his family. so she shld stay, be his rock/ally when his family start to show themselves. true love is selfless. even if he never loves her again, he needs her now. #thatisall

    Posted by bimbo | July 5, 2011, 12:18 pm
  53. Lmao. I LOVE YOU!

    Posted by bimbo | July 5, 2011, 12:20 pm
  54. Errm is it just me but looks like Ty actually recognized Samirah bt ws jst forming amnesia because of *insert whatever comes to mind here*

    I think she should move on n shd never EVER make d mistake of baring all of her heart to anyone again!

    Kenny’s such a meanie.. Poor Samirah 😦

    Posted by alahyor | July 5, 2011, 1:11 pm
  55. Gbemi u see how people fall in love so easily on this blog? Na to set P remain. 😀

    Posted by highlandblue | July 5, 2011, 1:17 pm
  56. *chewing kola-nut* hmmmm… The elders have a saying for a situation like this abi…well, i don’t know what it is.
    I feel sorry for Samirah, but the abrupt jump from the opening up scene to the hospital almost undid the story.
    What happened to Samirah shouldn’t stop her from trying to reach out to Ty once again.

    Posted by griffinthinks | July 5, 2011, 1:21 pm
  57. I sooo relate to Samirah.. Not just anyone can have access to the thoughts in my head, or my ‘past’… Most of the time, lost memory always comes back.. Leaving him won’t help him remember.. I love him, he has my secrets, I’ll stay with him..

    Posted by jael999 | July 5, 2011, 1:30 pm
  58. Samirah reminds me a lot of me and quite frankly,I’d do exactly as she did. Its better that she left when she did,hanging around would have hurt her more especially if he never regained his memory.
    Plus I’d rather the person I open up to lost his memory than give me ultimatums and treat me like dirt cos I ddnt do as he wntd
    Nice post

    Posted by deevarh | July 5, 2011, 1:53 pm
  59. This will just break my heart, *sigh* i dont think id be able to leave, lai lai, especially knowing how much he hated his family, i wouldnt leave, loving some one that much, i cant just turn my back and disappear

    Posted by BBB | July 5, 2011, 2:03 pm
  60. Its not easy to open up, tell your darkest secrets, show your weakness…..only to have it all thrown away. I don’t know if this counts but I’ve once opened up to someone who made me regret it real bad, not like its Ty’s fault but I totally get Samira’s action.

    I’ll do the same thing

    Posted by kponja | July 5, 2011, 2:04 pm
  61. Life’s just too cruel. Many times I’m forced to believe that some people aren’t just meant to be happy- Samira being a typical example. How is she supposed to move on? How does she go through the thought of probably never having Ty in her life? How can she possibly open up to someone else in the future without the fear of losing him lurking around her every thought!

    It’s worse still to think that these things actually happen, it’s not just some story made up to gather audience.

    Lord knows if I were in Samira’s shoes I’d be thrown off course, I’d most likely stick around as love is patient! Toolsman thank you for this post.(Y)

    Posted by BumbleB | July 5, 2011, 2:11 pm
  62. She cant leave. Love is about sacrifice, and compromise.
    its not a sacrifice, except it passes the line of convenience.
    She should be his friend…..help him through it.
    Its not easy to find someone you love, and connect with.
    She should study all the cases of amnesia there is, there’s been success stories….
    Hers can be one too…..or should i say ‘theirs’
    A person like Ty needs love…not necessarily from family….he hates them….reasons best known to him.
    she is certainly a strong person, she should be strong for him.
    What happens 2months or even 2years down the line when he recovers, and she is not there…..His soulmate…..
    I like love, and things of love….
    Loyalty runs deep.
    The person she fell in love with is there somewhere.
    She should love him out of it.
    that will be all for now.

    Posted by oluwatosin | July 5, 2011, 2:25 pm
  63. Where’s Riley? 😦

    Posted by Genesis | July 5, 2011, 5:03 pm
  64. Good question.. Where is Riley??? 😦 😦

    Posted by Domina | July 5, 2011, 5:39 pm
  65. i like your comment, very idealistic. I think in such manner too .

    Posted by Chicasa | July 5, 2011, 7:05 pm
  66. I will stay. The way I see it, his forgetting who she was and her leaving mirrors the moment she opened up to him. The idea of letting go. He didn’t live, life just wasn’t fair to him. So if she leaves, she is, like you said, leaving a large part of her behind.
    That thing she told him was her life, so why would you walk away from your life? Except you’re walking away from negativity. And it’s not negativity.
    So if I were in her shoes, I’ll stay. And do all in my power to make sure he remembers. This is like her cross and she has to carry it. Also, her walking away takes away all the respect I had for her as a strong character.

    Posted by Yosola | July 5, 2011, 9:31 pm
  67. Aww….that is just sad.. 😦
    If i were Sam, i’ll keep on hoping that he remembers…
    above alll, true love conquers all 😀

    Posted by kemmiiii | July 5, 2011, 11:05 pm
  68. *unfurls last carriers’ association flag*

    Posted by 0latoxic | July 6, 2011, 4:13 am
  69. VERY HURTING INDEED. SHE MUST FEEL REALLY LET DOWN AND ANGRY FOR THE HAND FATE DEALT HER.
    I THINK I WILL STICK AROUND FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. TRY TO CONNECT WITH THE NEW TY. I MEAN, THE OLD TY IS IN THERE SOMEWHERE.
    IF HE DOESN’T RE-SURFACE/RECALL, THEN SHE SHOULD RE-CONNECT WITH THE NEW ONE. HE CAN’T ALREADY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

    Posted by CHINWE ONOH | July 6, 2011, 9:14 am
  70. This made me cry…..’opening up and letting go’ can be so freaking hard…then being hurt after *TripleSigh*

    Posted by Miss O | July 6, 2011, 9:54 pm
  71. So true…she needs to be there for him..help him pull through
    He needs her now more than she knows….she knows him more than any other person in that room…she can help with the memories lost..

    its not going to be easy with the constant rejection shez going to get but….

    *plays soundtrack–Cheryl – fight for this love*

    Posted by Miss O | July 6, 2011, 10:04 pm
  72. So no one acknowledged that it was dedicated to me ehn? Not even all you so called #TeamSawalehians??? Mscheeew!!!!!!! Big hug for my homie tho *fist bump*

    Posted by 'Dania | July 18, 2011, 1:40 pm

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