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Wednesday Dialogue

Meet E.G.O.

*singing* It’s too big, it’s too wide, it wont fit… I got a big you know… Oh, not that.. and certainly not that famous head either.. Today we shall be discussing a very big and famous Elephant. It’s been around for so long we all just live with him and I thought it was about time someone called him out.

A couple of posts back we looked at things men don’t want in their women and it sparked off all sorts of conversations, sub-posts and a couple of bloggers even did female versions of the post. One thing I realized after putting up that post was that in asking men what they do not want in women, I was inadvertently asking for what they do want. This became more obvious as the comments came in and some of those comments helped form the foundation for this post.

Looking through the thread, I realized one thing stood out. Almost every guy that commented mentioned the fact that they want their women to be exposed/intelligent. In fact, I did a word search on that page and it was interesting to see that the word intelligent/intelligence came up sooooo many times and this was a sharp contrast to the what women DONT want post on The Cream and Coffee Blog where the word came up only twice.

Now, I’m sure there were a lot of factors responsible for this but I want to pick on this to start todays conversation. As a lot of women asked on these posts, can men really handle these things they ask for? It’s a male dominated world and successful black women are constantly bombarded with haunting statistics suggesting many of them are doomed to remain spinsters or as we have it nowadays, become bi-sexual or homosexual. Is it coincidental that a lot of women didn’t spend time talking about how they wanted their men to be more educated, exposed and intelligent than them?

Many women spoke about wanting open-minded men, well, maybe that was their way of saying I want someone open minded enough to accept me even if I’m more intelligent/exposed/successful than him, maybe. The question is, how many men can really REALLY handle this. Lets look at a couple of scenarios:

Scenario 1
So she talks you into attending her high school reunion with her. You really didn’t have too much of a choice since she attended yours. But you attended ‘Model College Somewhere‘ and your reunion was a party at Elegushi beach. On the other hand, she attended ‘*Insert British name here* Private School‘ and ALL, yup, all of her classmates went on to school outside the country; most making it into Ivy League Colleges where a lot of them met their partners/spouses. At the cocktail, you look the part and all but then one question keeps coming back to you all through the night and after avoiding it a few times, a very nosy guy (probably her ex) confronts you and asks:
“Somto, I didn’t quite catch what college you graduated from.” *Crickets*

Scenario 2
At another event, a birthday dinner perhaps. You’re seated at the dinner table with your girlfriend and loads of her friends and their boyfriends too. The conversation goes from one thing to the other and at some point people start talking about the countries they’ve visited overseas with your girlfriend unconsciously chipping in and not noticing that you’re the only person at the table who hadn’t contributed. Suddenly someone turns to you and asks.. “…So tell us Somto, what interesting places have you visited?” *Crickets*

These are just two scenarios but what you also don’t know is that over time, she has had to dumb down her conversations with you. Wanting to discuss new books she’s read, politics, international news e.t.c but seeing as your only interests are football, food and twitter fights, she’s had to compromise. Of course there are alternatives and we don’t even have to look far. Her royal highness ‘King B’ in one of her many many sermonized songs spoke about ‘upgrading men’ but then again, quoting something I found online (I need to find the source) “The problem with upgrading a man is you rarely see a return on your investment. And what happens when the two of you break up? All the women he dates from henceforth will reap the rewards of the new man you helped create. However, is it a double standard when it comes to men taking women from rags to riches?”

Well, thats a question for a possible sequel to this post. Today I’d like to ask, can men look past that big old elephant called ego and REALLY handle being with women who are smarter/more exposed/more successful then them and when does a woman’s intelligence become emasculation? You know the drill, use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.

PS: Voting continues at the Nigerian Blog awards. Use this link to here to cast your votes.. thanks.

About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman


209 thoughts on “Meet E.G.O.

  1. 😀

    Posted by tobicomm | July 6, 2011, 9:01 am
  2. .

    Posted by kechilauren | July 6, 2011, 9:01 am
  3. Second!!!!!

    Posted by Immortal TeddyBear | July 6, 2011, 9:01 am
  4. Gotta be the first or else …

    Posted by mamalaw | July 6, 2011, 9:01 am
  5. Don’t wanna brag but you know what it is….

    Posted by twittinigerian | July 6, 2011, 9:02 am
  6. Was reading another blog, got the notification and came here as fast as I could. Am first ba?

    Posted by @demmylee | July 6, 2011, 9:02 am
  7. grrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by mamalaw | July 6, 2011, 9:02 am
  8. Damn,I was third. Oh well…

    Posted by Immortal TeddyBear | July 6, 2011, 9:02 am
  9. Only God will judge.

    Posted by oluwatosin | July 6, 2011, 9:02 am
  10. Ahn ahn naa 😦

    Posted by alahyor | July 6, 2011, 9:02 am
  11. I wasn’t first?? 😥

    Posted by twittinigerian | July 6, 2011, 9:03 am
  12. these people have done it again sha!

    Posted by rolakejob | July 6, 2011, 9:05 am
  13. 6th. Hmmmn! *nw going bk to read post*

    Posted by @demmylee | July 6, 2011, 9:05 am
    i fnk u ve all ur response auto tuned or sumfn cos i don’t understand how u guys wld jst drop comment here even b4 tula thinks of wot to write !!!
    angry much…
    that said, lemme gaun read

    Posted by Foxy | July 6, 2011, 9:06 am
  15. “football,food and twitter fights”???LOL

    Posted by kechilauren | July 6, 2011, 9:07 am
  16. Hmnnn the situation’s a touchy one. I guess in the end it boils down to these things
    1.Is d guy willing to look past his ego and upgrade himself
    2.Is d chic willing to help him
    3.At the end of d day,u are going out with each oda,not your friends

    Posted by Immortal TeddyBear | July 6, 2011, 9:08 am
  17. Men want dumb chics..
    The ones who are so dumb they won’t ask where he’s coming from at one am but will sit crying and mope off to bed.
    The ones who can’t see through their lies and pranks
    they wanna be the lords of the manor they don’t want a mistress of the manor I think some friends of mine have discussed this and we thought is it wise to start acting dumb so the walk down the aisle would be hastened?
    But maybe we chics will keep being ourselves and hoping someday yall get off your big ego seats and face it..the truth.
    We are clever,we know our onions and dumb girls give u more trouble anyway.

    Posted by iamsamsie | July 6, 2011, 9:09 am
  18. Nope. Men can’t deal with. Plain and simple. They have to wear the pants in a relationship even if they are illiterate incompetents. It’s just the unfortunate way of the world. What women have to work on is finding a way to make him THINK he’s making all the decisions. 😉

    Posted by Mabooboo | July 6, 2011, 9:09 am
  19. Lmao @twitter fights…..im so laffin like a mad woman here…..i’l b back!

    Posted by bukiola | July 6, 2011, 9:10 am
  20. i love dating guys that r a lil smarter than i am… if i date someone who isnt….it wont even work. simple!
    P.S i’m a very very smart lady. 🙂

    Posted by bee | July 6, 2011, 9:11 am
  21. Now, i have read the post. i will keep refreshing this page….because i’d really like to know if men can really handle women who are driven, extremely intelligent, and more succesful than they are.
    And i’m not talking about the snorty ones, the one who also has her head on her shoulders, but floors you on every other ground.
    Bottom line: She has more money than your mind can hope to make…..

    Posted by oluwatosin | July 6, 2011, 9:11 am
  22. Y do pple struggle to be d first to comment?? Is there some kind of reward or sth???

    Posted by Ahhfee | July 6, 2011, 9:11 am
  23. I would be proud of my smart madam, but I would also see it as a challenge for self-improvement. A man who just let’s his babe remain above him without trying to better himself is an idiot. Don’t wait to be upgraded; upgrade yourself and be worthy enough to face anybody.
    I know some girls may say they like the guy as he is, not so smart or whatever. But be honest, you’d all be happy if he bettered himself, no?
    Anyways, that’s just my opinion.

    Posted by papyrusczar | July 6, 2011, 9:11 am
  24. nd yes, i think thats a smart choice.

    Posted by bee | July 6, 2011, 9:12 am
  25. Wow!Finally toolsman gets it!All I can say is if u want your woman to be wonder woman,be Batman!Enough of boys wanting what belongs to men!However,a lot of intelligent men want women to play the marilyn monroe to their JFK!Also,other men want their women to wear the pants in every strata of their relationship!My advice,guys make up your minds,dumb blonde or smart brunette!Ladies too!Dominant male or recessive boy!

    Posted by divadrama | July 6, 2011, 9:12 am
  26. 1st 20 sha,m gettin dere.lemme go bak n read

    Posted by zoe | July 6, 2011, 9:13 am
  27. *panting*
    I can’t believe this! Do u guys read d post before commenting at all? I don’t think so! But I ran sha

    Posted by topeesther | July 6, 2011, 9:13 am
  28. If Man didnt have his EGO, there would be zero wars.
    then again, his EGO and his balls are almost the same thing….then there would be no babies ( i don confuse myself now )

    Posted by ShoWade | July 6, 2011, 9:16 am
  29. done readn…
    all i v to say is ….

    Posted by Foxy | July 6, 2011, 9:16 am
  30. It’s rather sad, because a lot of men nowadays are unknowingly intimidated by independent women as such. I have personally had so many experiences where guys will try to put me down because of this. Sad story. My first bf, I taught him a lot, and told him I’m teaching you for the next girl because unfortunately I won’t stay to experience it, and recently I told a guy if we practiced how to kiss good, he will then go away and go give another girl the magic kisses :(, for this reason I did not show him …hehehe

    Posted by Son1aO | July 6, 2011, 9:20 am
  31. Chop Spiritual Knuckle!!!!!

    Dont wait for her to upgrade you….Upgrade your damn self. An intelliegent woman needs an intelligent, driven fella by her side. Dont fuck her Steeve ( i refuse to use that other word that starts with S ) up.

    Posted by ShoWade | July 6, 2011, 9:22 am
  32. Thank you very much for your generalizations.
    You need to spread your network and meet more guys and girls so that you can generalize less.

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 6, 2011, 9:23 am
  33. I agree with his solely, I know some women who are good at this (making him think he’s making the decisions) it’s very good, boost his ego but make him do what you want without knowing, wait that sounds a lil manipulative 😦 ah well. Wisdom shall help us both, men and women.

    Posted by Son1aO | July 6, 2011, 9:24 am
  34. I don’t think guys can handle it…i was with a guy smtimx, i was realy redy to teach, i knew it may not work out btw us but i was redy to work on him for any oda woman dt he wud prolly meet in the future.The problem started with my CV, he said he saw an opening and i shd forward my CV, which i did, he edited my CV wtout my knowledge n sent the edited version to m that i shd b using that one.I was furious, but i calmed down and asked him why, he said my CV was to complex and wud drive prospective employers,my head went off n was like wia is this dude from.I ddnt show my anger i jst brushed it off and told him tnx, not knowing that was d tip of iceberg,he complained abt my weave, dt dey were too expensive n i dont wear brazilliian oo.We went to games n i was showin him my fav Plasma TVs, he said i like expensive things….i got tired one day n locked up jare.i learnt my lesson, im not redy to skool anyman oo

    Posted by bukiola | July 6, 2011, 9:25 am
  35. I can never date a guy that isnt smart. He will just be irritating me ni sha! It is even better when we can talk about cars, books and switch to ‘what is trending’… U know!!! Lol.
    That guy that is on ur wavelength and can switch to yoruba or pidgin wen necessary.
    Because tis like all these smart ones only talk about londres, world bank and ”what do you think of the economic situation in india??”

    So get mi?

    Posted by rolakejob | July 6, 2011, 9:27 am
  36. You’re right. No woman will want a man that finds any of the above situations awkward, Why? he reeks of low self esteem. SO what she’s traveled to Mars? If you’ve traveled to Sokoto and you have an interesting story to share, share it. A woman wants a man that she can have a conversation with. If you know everything she does, there would be no point in conversing would there?

    Shit happens, if you’re with a lady that earns more than you do, and she’s humble about it and respects you….what’s the biggie? Aint a damn thing wrong. SOmetimes she could even help you when you’re in a fix. She’s your woman. Fuck the world and give them babies 😐

    Posted by Ms Congeniality | July 6, 2011, 9:27 am
  37. I hear a lot of guys say dey wudnt want the woman dey gonna marry to have a car n be completely independent b4 dey tie d knots.
    IMO most guys re intimidated by a successful woman, i dunno if they re scared she wouldnt submit to their authority or sth. Guys need to start working on demselves, it aint jst about hustling and getting money, get informed, get learned . Dis ”ego” thing has become a norm and we d driven n successful ladies are concerned.
    We hope dere re men out there hu can love us, handle us n take d reins .
    ¯/..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

    Posted by Ahhfee | July 6, 2011, 9:27 am
  38. Oh by the way, my sister’s husband is a great example, he’s not as exposed as my sister is, but he loved that about her and for that reason remained open minded to bettering himself through their relationship, note he doesn’t take nonsense and he sometimes does what she says stylishly so that to ‘him’ his ego is still intact and still gains all her respect. She can’t try to disrespect him, I love their marriage, They are like my role models, dated for seven years been married for 3 or 4years I can’t remember

    Posted by Son1aO | July 6, 2011, 9:28 am
  39. The real Elephant in the room is… you’re on your period, you’re horny…is he gonna band tho?

    Posted by Ms Congeniality | July 6, 2011, 9:28 am
  40. *bang

    Posted by Ms Congeniality | July 6, 2011, 9:29 am
  41. All u women shoutin abt d guy wants to wear d pants in a relationship…
    What woman wants a guy who isn’t d dominant party?

    Neways guys pls upgrade urselves if u r wiv a chic who is smarter. She wil respect u for it.me I luv smart women.its a turn on

    Posted by Immortal TeddyBear | July 6, 2011, 9:30 am
  42. Nice post Tula. To be quite honest ehn, I’ll never date a man who am smarter than, it just doesn’t ‘werk’ for me; past experiences from other women has shown that this is just a disaster waiting to happen. I want to date someone who I can look up, be proud of, someone who can help me expanded my already expanded mind more. Twitter fights and football? Nah, won’t happen. And no, I’m not overly independent, I’m just Queen enough to be on the look out for a King. C’est finis!

    Posted by zanyfran | July 6, 2011, 9:33 am
  43. Its always a trial being in a relationship with someone Whose intelligence quotient is waaay below Urs.

    One would expect that this should swing both ways, sadly this is not the case.

    Most dudes prefer a hot body to great intelligence because they are largely visual beings.

    As for me… I’m a lady and I just can’t… Intelligent conversation in a relationship is a must for me. Anything below that and I fall asleep, true story.

    Posted by Yve | July 6, 2011, 9:34 am
  44. Lovely lovely post Tula! Im loving you the more everyday. I agree with Bee, I’d rather my man was a lil better than me in everything that makes me look forward to our convos cos Im an avid learner and have a huge thirst for knowledge in all ramifications. It would also make me look up to him and that will help the ego a lot, and all parties are happy. However, that said, I think a real Man is one who can handle this and like PAPYRUSCZAR said be ready to do the upgrade, if that were the case why not?

    Another thought, what happens when she gets richer or more successful later down the line? Will your ego now spoil the marriage or relationship if you like?

    Posted by Chicasa | July 6, 2011, 9:35 am
  45. Well…i would date a man that i can clearly see can push me to be better than i am in most areas, i hate being only a “receiever” or A dormant partner in any relationship! Thats why i make conscious efforts to be vast and not just a trophy…you cant give what you dont have.
    So it would be an unleaning partnership not a lop sided one. When you know you gained alot from each other, if you eventually break-up.Yes it would still hurt but each person is leaving better than when they got in, and no one is feeling ripped off or empty:)

    Posted by kechilauren | July 6, 2011, 9:39 am
  46. #Udonmeanit

    Posted by chinnydiva | July 6, 2011, 9:47 am
  47. he doesnt have to have Einstein’s’IQ and Soyinka’ks grey hair.also not DUMB..No one can know everything.i could be mediocre at somethings he is extremely good at and vice versa..the point is that we would both play the role of “teacher” frequently in our “partnership”

    Posted by kechilauren | July 6, 2011, 9:50 am
  48. “Fuck the world and give them babies”? Love it. And well thought-out reply.

    Posted by Mabooboo | July 6, 2011, 9:51 am
  49. During a serious long term relationship, my girlfriend cheated on me. I didn’t leave.
    That relationship lasted another 3 years before we broke up for other reasons.

    As at the time we got married, my wife was earning significantly more than I did. It made no difference. I paid the bills irrespective.

    I expect the ladies will jump on this and run their mouths. Every one of you will like to claim she is intelligent and confident. Oh really? Well I have news for most of you —ambition isn’t intelligent/confident cos if it is, then I am sure Holly of Playboy mansion will claim that she is intelligent/confident too.

    An intelligent/confident woman is one who is self aware enough to know her man’s weak points and not bully him with them. An intelligent/confident woman doesn’t fall into stereotyped female roles only when it suits her. An intelligent/confident woman doesn’t police her man and his phone, that is what emotionally weak and women with low self esteem do. How many of the ladies around us are actually capable of these?

    Let’s put things in perspective, who or what is a strong woman?
    How many of them do we see around these days?
    When guys say they want an intelligent chick, they don’t necessarily mean they want a nuclear scientist.
    What we mean is that we want somebody who has interests that are above The Big Brother show, The Kardashians and Gucci bags. We want a girl who can kick back and watch the Kardashians only after she’s come back from a day doing chores more important than just going to the saloon and doing some shopping.

    Social climbing isn’t the exclusive preserve of women. What’s the big deal if a woman upgrades her man? Men everywhere are doing it for their woman every single day, so why do women have to do a song and dance about it when they find a man whom they love and feel the need to upgrade

    With reference to Tula’s examples, if I were the guy in both scenarios, big deal!!
    Life is never about where we are coming from but always about were we are going to.
    A guy/gal may not have been to ivy league schools or traveled round the world but one thing is certain at any particular point in time……. He or she is dating one who has and that my dear friends, says it all.
    As long as with my community grammar school education I can date a chick who attended Lekki British Int’l, I am winning. It’s that simple.

    An important & instructive quote whose source I can’t remember right now……..

    “A woman must be strong for her man but she shouldn’t be so strong that she breaks him” – Unknown

    Grabs balls, scratches for a few seconds and walks away…….

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 6, 2011, 9:57 am
  50. I’ll be honest and just admit this: I’ll take a man that’s subservient to me any given Sunday, depending on my mood of course. If I earn more money than him, have more clout than him and I’m also smarter than him I think I’m the person who is BY DEFAULT entitled to wear the pants in the relationship and make all the important decisions.

    There’s nothing I find more excrutiating than subjecting myself to someone else’s stupidity. I don’t suffer fools, so I doubt very much I’ll ever be able to allow one dominate my life.

    Posted by Mabooboo | July 6, 2011, 9:59 am
  51. (Y)…

    *if any one is still looking for me “iff”..pls refer to my last tweet*

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 6, 2011, 10:01 am
  52. I can see the women getting all excited about this post…hmmmm. Before you all start generalizing about illiterate incompetent men, contemplate on the following quotes –

    “The law of attraction says that you are a living magnet. It says that your thoughts create a force field of energy that radiates out from you and attracts back into your life people and circumstances in harmony with them” – Brian Tracy

    “Your mind is a powerful magnet that will attract to you the things you identify yourself with. If you have sad thoughts, you will attract tragedies. If you are a good man, you will attract the company of good people.”
    ~Alfredo Karras

    What am I geting at? if you’ve had the curse of illiterate men, look in the mirror! Let’s stop the generalizations please…

    Posted by Temitayo | July 6, 2011, 10:02 am
  53. Dear Lagos hunter,,were u substituting me?
    In the real world I know,a lot of guys (I have worthy examples)eventually settle for girls who are demure,have less of an opinion and all of that.
    that is fact..I have married friends..older and younger.its a trend.
    the ladies also sacrifice a lot to get married too.some will tell u months later.(he’s so dull)wish I’d thought twice.I can’t stand him.etc.
    Let’s get real..there are few guys out there who really want a strong woman in their home.

    Posted by iamsamsie | July 6, 2011, 10:04 am
  54. Aww hell Naww, u didnt Toolsman! No you fuckin didnt. Calling us Niggas out on our Ego? Fuck No Nigguh, Fuck No. I done said it before n I is gon say it again. Bitches are bitches, Hos gon be hos. Most of the fucking sluts in this piss-shit world want a nigga that they can look up to n shit. They want a fucking assistant-daddy to take care of them and thier issues. Bitches like being dumber than us. They fucking love it dawg! Fuck! read the sluts comments so far, wantin they men to be better than they is n shit. Us niggas have to put up with dumb bitches all the fucking time yo! So fuck that shit about us having a big EGO. Yeah! its fucking big. 9 inches long, 4 inches wide.

    I mean, yo, yo ,yo, check it: Pull a reverse on the situation yo. I got this chick, she dumb as fuck, but i have to drag her trifling ass all over da place, to state dinners, reunions n shit. Y’all fucktards think I like it when my homeboy T-bizzle asks the bitch what fuckin’ places she done travelled to n all the bitch got to say is ‘I went to Ibadan last year’? Nigga fuck NO! The only way I get thru that shit is by thinking “I is gon fuck the shit outta u fo’ embarrasing me tonight bitch”. So fuck this, fuck that, n fuck it all.

    Then again, If I be rolling with one o them uppity bitches, those-cream-and-caramel-shit bitches, then I kno I gotta keep da sexing real. I take down my fucking Ego n channel it down to my dick. So when she done talking all her fancy talk with her fucking fancy-ass-gay-fuck fucker friends, she gone come home n use that mouth to suck MY dick. That makes up fo errthang. You dig? And then I gon fuck her in the ass. Aint no bitch can say she better than me when she got my dick all up in her bumhole.

    In summary:
    1. Bitches is Bitches. Ho’s is Ho’s.
    2. Men put up with dumb bitches all the time.
    3. Channel yo EGO to yo dick.
    4. As always, Fuck the uppity bitch in the butt.

    Riley Out.

    Posted by Riley | July 6, 2011, 10:11 am
  55. Oh..I see u came back to explain urself
    Happy much..I avaf now gone to drink milk.it is not me.

    Posted by iamsamsie | July 6, 2011, 10:13 am
  56. bedroom skills eh? I’m getting you.

    Posted by chinnydiva | July 6, 2011, 10:14 am
  57. I agree with anything Riley says.

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | July 6, 2011, 10:15 am
  58. As long as I can say “wingardium Leviosa!” And she knows the appropriate hex to come at me with, we’re cool. We have to be on the same wavelength. I don’t care which of us is more opportuned; intellectually, physically or financially. I can’t be talking Martin luther King and she’s thinking Tupac. Won’t werk. 🙂

    Posted by Genesis | July 6, 2011, 10:15 am
  59. Dear iamsamsie,

    In determining your trend, how large was your poll? A lot of us run with a lot of hearsay and call it trend! What is fact is that every one has a unique experience. What is fact is that alot of us make judgements from totally limited and random experiences. Again, please lets stop the generalizations.

    There are tons of iliterates out there, male & female. If you hapen to be hooked to one, see my comments above!

    Posted by Temitayo | July 6, 2011, 10:16 am
  60. But the thing you need to understand is this: This topic is essentially an invitation to generalize. In my first post, which you’re no doubt referring to, I did make the claim that men can’t deal with feelings of inadequacy because I believe they can’t.

    Specifically using the term “illiterate incompetents” was my way of showing just how much they hate being condescended to.

    And also, your quotes are in themselves generalizations. Who says you only attract what you give?

    Posted by Mabooboo | July 6, 2011, 10:17 am
  61. Thumbs up @lagos hunter, but u’l be surprised at d number of men who are intimidated by women earning more, or even better travlled than them. a friend of mine dated this guy, she had a car and he didn’t but it wasn’t a problem to her cos he was practically always with d car, she also travelled a lot but anytime they had quarrels, d guy said things like “is it because u’ve been to america?” Or is it because u have a car? Or is it because ur parents have money… All sort of BS.
    There are guys who understand that its not abt where u’r frm but where u’r going and where u can go… But sadly, they’re not enuf and d majority of guys out there are intimidated by a gal who has anything they don’t have!a better salary, british passport, a house, a car, etc etc
    Heck! A guy has told me he cudnt marry me cos I’m a doctor and i have a car? Cos I won’t respect him! As in WTF???

    Posted by @deevagal | July 6, 2011, 10:17 am
  62. All of a sudden, all the girls are ‘very smart’ and have had such experiences.
    I’m getting the gist…
    *Grabs popcorn*

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | July 6, 2011, 10:19 am
  63. Mo feel e…:D

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | July 6, 2011, 10:21 am
  64. this Riley dude ehn…

    Posted by bee | July 6, 2011, 10:24 am
  65. I’m with you on this one. Intelligence doesn’t necessarily mean wealthier and confident.

    I’d go for someone open-minded. Learn from me and I learn from you. Shikena!

    Posted by Jayla P | July 6, 2011, 10:24 am
  66. RILEY!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!

    Posted by Genesis | July 6, 2011, 10:24 am
  67. let’s get married.

    Posted by chinnydiva | July 6, 2011, 10:26 am
  68. LOL!!!! Thetoolsman strikes again. That’s all I’m going to say.
    *opens door to refreshment bar* *sits down and waits*

    Posted by cecenostockings | July 6, 2011, 10:27 am
  69. I humbly beg to differ….not all men are like your postulations.

    Posted by @Kayshawy | July 6, 2011, 10:27 am
  70. 🙂

    Posted by chinnydiva | July 6, 2011, 10:28 am
  71. awww! how cute. shouldn’t be hard to find a man who can help “expanded {your} already expanded mind more”.

    Posted by chinnydiva | July 6, 2011, 10:33 am
  72. i think Toolsman should step down…..



    Posted by ShoWade | July 6, 2011, 10:34 am
  73. I want to have Riley’s babies 😐

    Posted by cecenostockings | July 6, 2011, 10:35 am
  74. #thatisall

    Posted by minini | July 6, 2011, 10:36 am
  75. RILEY for president!
    I haven’t yet seen a guy complain dat a girl was too dumb for him or a girl was too smart/cocky either.. So this post is either a big fat joke or the men are not saying the truth! 😐

    Posted by @deevagal | July 6, 2011, 10:38 am
  76. I don’t even see how you can be attracted to a (wo)man that is dumber than you. “Oh, look, a simpleton. How attractive” -_- that’s the only thing I object to. I always try to associate with people who make me wanna better myself. And not just in relationships. Friendships too. I don’t think it’s a big deal to be with someone who earns more money or is more exposed than you are.
    I more or less agree with Lagos Hunter

    Posted by SoSavvy | July 6, 2011, 10:39 am
  77. All of you want to marry Riley abi? Ha doesn’t have ‘ego’ o!.. And he fucks ass too.
    *More popcorn please and some Ribena*. Burps.

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | July 6, 2011, 10:41 am
  78. Dear temitayo,
    My friends and accquaintances have been getting married since 2004 at least with a number of cousins and people around me I can figure.
    Maybe I like making generalisations but I can’t start name calling now can I?the older couples even point it out—-»my husband knows I have more sense than he does and etc..(amongst other things said jokingly)I certainly know what I’m talking about.a relative of mine evne factored same issue in choosing a wife of 3girlfriends..btw,I love Riley.

    Posted by iamsamsie | July 6, 2011, 10:46 am
  79. Sub at you? No, I don’t do subs.Well, I dropped you a direct reply on your comment.

    How about we turn this your logic on its head —> “there are few guys out there who really want a strong woman in their home.”
    How many strong women are there in this world?
    Is it the fault of men, that the apparent scarcity of intelligent/confident women has led us to expect to wear the pants?

    I didn’t doubt that you had examples, hell I have the same examples too but why is it so easy for you to generalize though? Are you insinuating you have never met a man strong enough to handle a strong woman?
    Or you have never met a woman so strong yet so humble that she submits to her equally strong man?

    Or do you argue with the fact that it is a lot easier to find girls who are more than happy to submit and cater to the needs of their strong man than it is to find men who are ready to do same?

    Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with one person submitting to the other. The key question in the submissive/dominant relationship is “does the dominant one know where/when to draw the line?”

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 6, 2011, 10:51 am
  80. When a man will open his eyes and choose a dependent woman over one that gets things done for him,,what r we talking about?this issue is simple…
    Men generally do not like women who have it all together ask any relationship expert..they are all teaching things like when to put your boy energy in the closet..how to say things to him without coming off as too assertive..etc and etc.how to stay in touch with your feminine side how to use feeling messages..what does that mean??women are growing stronger by the say and the men simply feel bettter with the dainty,quaint,demure ones..so if u can’t be them pretend to be one..that’s what they are all saying now..I am not even going into the whole upgrade issue its a red herring in this matter.the clear point is guys love a woman who wants to be rescued.

    Posted by iamsamsie | July 6, 2011, 10:51 am
  81. Now you just SUBbed me
    Hope that milk is sour….. 😀

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 6, 2011, 10:56 am
  82. Usually I don’t do this but err…

    Its no lie that there are guys who are intimidated by the ‘achievements’, ‘status’ or ‘intelligence’ of some ladies. If you’re gonna cower or drool at her brilliance, then you shouldn’t approach her in the first place.

    I’m not afraid to aim ‘high’ if need be. I’ve had my share of ladies who on the flip side were just ‘Africa Magic’ chics, who knew only Yahoo on the internet (cos I opened an email addy for her)..I didn’t need anyone to tell me that this wasn’t what I wanted.

    I raised the bar…higher than me.

    A man will always be the man if he can prove he’s the man! What dangles between our legs or the facial hair doesn’t make us so..ask King kong…I sought someone who could a( least match me word for word, discourse for discourse…My girlfriend has been to more continents than I have (at least I’ve been to two)..she schooled in them ivy league schs home n abroad, I went to Victory GRAMMAR sch, ikeja n then Uniben… Still, she does realise that like @LagosHunter said, its not where I’ve been that matters, but where I’m going and if its somewhere she’ll love to go!

    I’m not and will never be intimidated, neither will I let ego rob me of happiness…its only half-men that complain or nag about a woman who’s doing well. Take a cue! Be challenged! Be THE man! And oh! By the way, financial strength does have a way of silencing the intelligent so…get that cheddar! Like I say…

    “If you can’t stand the heat, be wealthy enough to buy and install a cooling unit!”

    Posted by kelvin | July 6, 2011, 10:56 am
  83. we can take turns in fucking each other in the butt…good practice, aye?

    Posted by DOMINATRIX | July 6, 2011, 10:58 am
  84. For that I’m back to marry sushey..bum hole is for pooping only..

    Posted by iamsamsie | July 6, 2011, 11:02 am
  85. Ya head is there o jare! Mo get e baje!

    Posted by @Kayshawy | July 6, 2011, 11:04 am
  86. And oh, by the way…….
    While we are all running our mouths and yarning dust, let’s not forget that the guys who can’t stand strong/intelligent women are our brothers, cousins, boyfriends, uncles and best friends.
    Same as the dumb girls out there.

    We all like to think we are smart,intelligent and confident but I will bet you two naira that we will definitely find at least 3 people who would disagree with our personal opinion of ourselves.

    That said, is enough said.

    *Reaches to scratch testicles again*

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 6, 2011, 11:07 am
  87. My bawwws….the milk was ok o
    U too much..plenty hailings.

    Posted by iamsamsie | July 6, 2011, 11:08 am
  88. Riley, be warned…all those calling you out for President will dump you very soon.
    Same as those proposing marriage and butt fucking.
    I am talking from experience o ! Rumour even has it that HighLandBlue is a serious contender.

    Knock twice, when you are ready to come out of the closet and we shall open the doors help you. Some of us have noticed your alter ego has stopped commenting around here since everybody started mouthing “Riley this, Riley that”

    Oh,by the way, I am jealous, so nigger whatcu gonna do about it?? 😀

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 6, 2011, 11:16 am
  89. comT so here u are….*points mic at him* so how do u feel?

    Posted by Domina | July 6, 2011, 11:17 am
  90. @lagoshunter, do u have an infection? This scratching is getting too much #jusSaying

    Posted by @deevagal | July 6, 2011, 11:17 am
  91. Women lower their standards to accomodate mens huge egos

    Posted by ME | July 6, 2011, 11:19 am
  92. @ME. #GBAM! Exactly!

    Posted by Cleo | July 6, 2011, 11:28 am
  93. Lmao @deevagal!!!

    Posted by Genesis | July 6, 2011, 11:38 am
  94. Well said man

    Posted by Master Sushey | July 6, 2011, 11:41 am
  95. *Sigh*

    Discussion on this kind of topic is futile because it is based on a generalization. All generalizations are wrong, some are useful, but invariably, they are all wrong. Only a man (person) with self-esteem issues will feel emasculated by a strong wo(man) by his (or her) side. The fact that s(he) has chosen to attach her(him) self to you means s(he) considers you (on some level) to be an improvement to her(his) life. (well, except you’re a boy toy/bed warmer). Why should you let your own self esteem issues deny you a chance at true happiness and partnership?

    Either way, the point of a relationship is to complete and compliment each other, not for ANY one to dominate. Once you think that any of you is “Dominating”, there will be a problem. In fact, I was writing something on this a while back for my blog. I scrapped it. I just might post it now. As far as I’m concerned gender-based dominance is dead. People are people. Aim to achieve balance in your relationship and I think you’ll be fine.

    Personally, I dont see the big deal, I think my mum earned more than my dad. I know my dad was smarter than my mum, I know they were both well learned and open-minded. I know he helped get her where she was. I know she was more travelled more than he was. I know they communicated near-perfectly with each other. I know he handled the big thinking and she sorted out the more practical issues of the house. Balance. I crave it.

    Thats my two cents. Use them to buy pure water if you so desire.

    Once again, Well done toolsman.


    Posted by ThinkTank! | July 6, 2011, 11:43 am
  96. A lotta valid points tho..but I stil wonder whose alter-ego u are

    Posted by djabbarish | July 6, 2011, 11:45 am
  97. FAMZING are we?

    Posted by skilobo | July 6, 2011, 11:48 am
  98. I LOVE THIS BLOG!!!!!!

    Posted by bimbo | July 6, 2011, 11:48 am
  99. err…this sub is too complex for me to decipher. I think I’ll just go sit in the corner and think happy thoughts…of Riley and me. 😉

    Posted by chinny | July 6, 2011, 11:52 am
  100. GBAM

    Posted by skilobo | July 6, 2011, 11:54 am
  101. I’m not enamored by Riley, I just want to know how his mind works.

    Posted by Chicasa | July 6, 2011, 12:00 pm
  102. 🙂 But you know I love you Wale.

    Posted by Chicasa | July 6, 2011, 12:02 pm
  103. lol.. like the last line too .. this for me would be an ideal and logical response but logical doesnt always work in life..

    Posted by thetoolsman | July 6, 2011, 12:07 pm
  104. There are smart women out there and the ones that lower their standards to make their men feel good and let peace reign are even smarter #IMO, at the end of the day it all boils down to “Everybody’s Happy”. Unfortunately for the women its a mans world till year 3000 when the animals would take over. In defense of the Men, look what happened when Adam listened to Eve, Men Came first and we aint about to carry last that’s the way God wanted it else we would’ve seen more female action in the Bible (Yea I had to bring that into this!)

    Its a white mans world (for now) Its a Mans (World forever)!!!

    OYE has a different opinion on this but ROCKFAN Killed him before he could start typing anything in a “super rational”

    *drops mic n walks away in slow motion as blog explodes*

    Posted by ROCKFAN | July 6, 2011, 12:08 pm
  105. I LOVE YOU!

    Posted by H•A•W | July 6, 2011, 12:08 pm
  106. What does intelligence mean to you?

    Is it having an opinion about every issue, or studying at an Ivy league school, or always having a witty comeback for everything, or…?

    Every man wants an intelligent woman. It just depends on what it means to him. It may be knowing how to cook (and to be honest, being a really good cook requires intelligence), beating him at chess (or all them PS games), blending well with his family, or any combination of these and more. Intelligence is not necessarily owning a car.

    Now to the question. I don’t think any man can handle a woman that is WAY more intelligent than he is. (At this point, I’m talking about intelligence at the mental level). That’s just the way it is. But then again, intelligence is not the same as financial success. Some men can handle being with women who are light years ahead of them financially. But these men are very scarce.

    And really ladies, our husbands/boyfriends are like trophies too. No matter how successful we are, most of us want a man who is more successful than we are (not necessarily financial success, that I must stress). Unless of course he’s just supposed to be a boy toy. (I’d still want a smart boy toy though).

    Posted by Glory | July 6, 2011, 12:19 pm
  107. I agree with lagos hunter……and I love riley!!!! Lol!!!

    Posted by zany | July 6, 2011, 12:20 pm
  108. It all boils down to insecurity..! When you have a guy that’s not sure of himself, it doesn’t matter if you’re as dumb as a streetlight, or as smart/influential as Einstein’s assistant’s; there’s going to be trouble… Truth is very few men actually CAN handle it (the secure ones).. The rest, largely the majority, won’t even hear of it. As in, it’s not even u for discussion.. Sad..

    Posted by jael999 | July 6, 2011, 12:31 pm
  109. ah, sorry.. I meant *assistant.

    Posted by jael999 | July 6, 2011, 12:34 pm
  110. ok. not really.. but see ehn.. different men have their own definition of an intelligent woman though.. still well said though

    Posted by H•A•W | July 6, 2011, 12:36 pm
  111. hmm… well said but then again,women can easily put up the argument that such relationships are as a result of their ability to ‘dumb down/compromise significantly’ so as not to play into the hands of societal stereotypes.
    Women invented pretense/compromise IMO.. they are excellent actors.. add a man who isn’t insecure to that mix and bingo.. guess who’s winning. She has a man not as successful as she is, he isn’t complaining and she doesn’t end up lonely with her 10″ battery enabled man called chocolate thunder..

    Posted by thetoolsman | July 6, 2011, 12:39 pm
  112. Great piece love it…….. Some of d egos of men tend towards stupidity…#nuffsaid.

    Posted by priiyee | July 6, 2011, 12:47 pm
  113. Riley! *in Frank Lucas’s voice* My man!!! I think I just found the perfect comment for this post right here. Y’all take this shit too seriously though. WTF.

    Posted by Griffin | July 6, 2011, 12:47 pm
  114. Who is this Riley Sef????

    Posted by Leila | July 6, 2011, 12:50 pm
  115. Any woman that believes in marriage and the union working has to lower her standards to accomodate her husbands huge ego, and do not think its a sign of weakness…my dad made all the money but my mum was smarter than him, we the kids made this observerd (even my brothers would agree on this) but she never shoved it in his face….even when she wanted him to do something, she would would put the idea to him in a way that he would think he came up with the ‘bright idea’ (call it manipulation but it works).

    For you men that believe you wear the pants, think again, your wife wears the pants indirectly and she does this not because she cannot stand up to you or voice her own opinion which in most cases is more sensible than yours, but for peace to reign in the home… in my own opinion this goes a long way to show -intelligence, wisdom, strength and maturity<——— this traits only a woman can possess.

    Posted by ME | July 6, 2011, 12:55 pm
  116. I love ur blog…it’s amazing how som1 can write so beautifully

    Posted by wannie | July 6, 2011, 12:55 pm
  117. A smart girl wldnt b such a bad idea,tho they’re rare…met a few bt i think i need to widen my scope a lil’!some shallow females when they’re richer,tend to look down on guys hu aint got as much as they do.as sum1 said earlier..jst manipulate the guy abeg,that shldnt be too hard?besides it’s all based on UNDERSTANDING!

    Posted by @mekzie | July 6, 2011, 1:04 pm
  118. intelligence, wisdom, strength and maturity<——— this traits ONLY a woman can possess.


    Your strong generalizations and inability to be make an objective/balanced argument definitely tells you're "intelligent, wise, strong and mature" woman.

    ¯/..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 6, 2011, 1:06 pm
  119. I dunno but I just love this blog post….seriously guys have issues with their egos, because she drives a jeep and u dont drive any car at all, is one ridiculous thing i dont get, one said, “this ur car sef, shey u wont drive men away”….Y???
    If she is more educated, its a problem……..me i dunno ooo
    What i know is dat it cant be all guys sha….


    Posted by Z.E.O | July 6, 2011, 1:10 pm
  120. Men just can’t handle a lady being a bit more successful than they are. My boyfriend through Nysc and the job hunting months after, broke up with me because i got a job before him using the excuse that he wants to free me so i can find someone to settle down wit. We are still friends and he finally got a small job last week. But at the end of the day he was not man enough and i was definitely dumbing myself for him while we were dating

    Posted by dddewa | July 6, 2011, 1:12 pm
  121. I don’t think any1 shd settle or hide who they truly r to pls any1. I don’t lyk riley jo, too much swearing irritates me, seems u can’t pass ur msg across in simple english.

    Posted by kay | July 6, 2011, 1:12 pm
  122. Now we know how bright the kind of pple you move with are

    Posted by Magneto | July 6, 2011, 1:29 pm
  123. Can the ladies just shut-up and let the guys speak. Must u always take over the comments space with ”in my opinion; i’ll just say this” bla bla bull sh*t. Seems like many people forget the topic when they start writing their comments. [insert raised eyebrows]
    That said ……….. guys please respond; seems y’all are silent on the issue. does it mean guys not responding have big egos n see any form of female superiority as emasculation? ?

    Posted by niyoo | July 6, 2011, 1:38 pm
  124. Tula, this is the way I see it……

    Why be with someone who has a problem with your ego? Or that you have a problem with theirs?
    Every girl is mouthing how men are intimidated, isn’t the really question which girl wants a man she can intimidate? Isn’t the man doing everybody a service by running away when he meets one he is intimidated by?

    I don’t buy the argument that women could say that they condescend to accommodate a relationship. Show me that more successful woman who is in a relationship/marriage with a man and I will show you a woman who has found a man who validates her in a certain way nobody understands….hence the reason everybody thinks they are a funny looking couple.

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 6, 2011, 1:47 pm
  125. Determine who has the bigger ego in ur room. Whoever stays on top when u r shagging owns the big Ego for the day.

    Posted by Magneto | July 6, 2011, 1:50 pm
  126. I was waiting for guy’s response yesterday too, but alas only a few did.

    Posted by Chicasa | July 6, 2011, 1:54 pm
  127. there are more intelligent women on this one post than i meet on a regular basis. there are also lot of ladies here who feel a man can’t handle an intelligent woman. I’d love to test out this theory. https://twitter.com/#!/je_mc2 let’s interact.

    Posted by Joachim MacEbong | July 6, 2011, 1:54 pm
  128. But ppl here are daft though especially the ladies. You get all excited cos a guy wants to fuck you in the ass? Horny bitches

    Posted by TweetFight | July 6, 2011, 1:54 pm
  129. funny thing is ive been asked what i want in a guy three thimes this past week,th eone thing that keeps coming up is that, i want a guy thats passionate about something, has a goal for the future, is working towards that goal and most importantly, a guy that inspires me to be better, throw in humor, being goodlooking and a christian and im good, the truth is, i am very smart!!!! this is a statement of fact, i hold intelligent conversations, i read far and wide, i like to be exposed to whats happening around me, i am not afraid to ask questions and look stupid at a point in time just to learn, I cannot date a guy that cannot handle that, i will not be toning down my dreams for any man, it just wont happen, ive worked too hard to get to were i am, i will support, i will stroke your ego, id pamper and please, but i will never act stupid to keep a man, i think i missed the stupidity dna.

    Posted by BBB | July 6, 2011, 1:55 pm
  130. That said, would Chinnydiva & Cecenostockings submit their asses for fucking. Hope they’re airtight? Thank you very much

    Posted by TweetFight | July 6, 2011, 2:00 pm
  131. Hmmmn, good post. Valid point. I just don’t see why you equated intelligence with money a la being able to afford schools abroad & summer trips in the Hamptons (or wherever “interesting”)
    I have met several guys who are “intrigued” by smart women. They like the convo, have tons of fun, yet go on to marry the bimbos later on. While I hate to generalise, its sure becoming a recurring pattern….. So I guess NOT!

    Posted by kemichronicles | July 6, 2011, 2:09 pm
  132. Let us just set P already naaaa

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 6, 2011, 2:17 pm
  133. “very few”, “the rest”, “largely the majority”… All these estimates are based on what? your own personal experience? Until, there are actual studies done, I say rfrain from such generalizations.

    Ladies, you need to know that it is possible to project an imagined problem into reality. For example, take this scenario
    1. You think he’s emasculated by your success even when he’s not.
    2. You start acting patronising to him and he notices. He sees why you’re doing it and resents you for that
    3. He begins to feel insecure because he sees you acting in a patronising manner.
    4. Congratulations, you have just created the problem that you were worried about.

    Just be yourself. Find someone who understands you. If you need clarification, ask. DO NOT generalize. Too many people do that.

    Thats what I say, anyway

    Posted by ThinkTank! | July 6, 2011, 2:23 pm
  134. Ah! another generalizer. well, the hunter has already pointed out the flaw in your logic. This comment also borders on Misandry. All I’m saying is DO NOT generalize. I’m tired of preaching.

    Posted by ThinkTank! | July 6, 2011, 2:26 pm
  135. Some guy has told me the exact thing. We were having a discussion and he went educated and successful women have huge egos and will not respect their husbands. And this guy was zambian so just not naija guys that think this way

    Posted by beeawo | July 6, 2011, 2:49 pm
  136. Endorsed.

    Posted by thetoolsman | July 6, 2011, 2:53 pm
  137. “Your strong generalizations and inability to be make an objective/balanced argument definitely tells you’re “intelligent, wise, strong and mature” woman.”<<—Yeh!!! Mi o je gba…

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | July 6, 2011, 2:54 pm
  138. I have missed this geh sha.

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | July 6, 2011, 3:02 pm
  139. As in that was such a low blow Tula. *reeling*

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 3:08 pm
  140. Lol Diva!

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 3:09 pm
  141. Of course there’s a reward! Tula has promised the person who carries first up to 100 times will get 2% shares in his first published book. Dey der dey carry last! 😀

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 3:11 pm
  142. You people can talk sha. When did you all become so civil? Fight so I can sell refreshments jareh

    Posted by cecenostockings | July 6, 2011, 3:16 pm
  143. what would it matter if they are airtight or not? your dick is so tiny,it would pass through any hole easily.

    Posted by chinny | July 6, 2011, 3:19 pm
  144. Bukky I’m so laughing hard here!!!!!! Please send me your CV! Lol. Oh my dayz!!!! Not even Brazilian? Haw haw haw!!!!!!!

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 3:20 pm
  145. @Chinnydiva: My dick is huge baby. You said so yourself when you moaned in ibo

    Posted by TweetFight | July 6, 2011, 3:25 pm
  146. @slevin…ve missed u too…wot hapend to dat P we we’re setting 2weeks ago?

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 6, 2011, 3:31 pm
  147. E wo! Hot body with no intelligence? As a life partner? Or as a bed warmer? Be clear O. Lol

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 3:37 pm
  148. I love what you said. Actually, its not good for any partner to be so many miles ahead of the other. It drains you psychologically. Each person should push the other to be higher and better. Kises Kechi.

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 3:38 pm
  149. Bet Lagos Hunter, this your comment be like blog. *skipping to real comments*

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 3:39 pm
  150. Valid point.

    Posted by ThinkTank! | July 6, 2011, 3:42 pm
  151. Twitter joh…ahn ahn! We don’t do that here nah…

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | July 6, 2011, 3:45 pm
  152. #Udonmeanit! #Moanersclub

    Posted by chinny | July 6, 2011, 3:45 pm
  153. Go Riley!!! Ibadan tho. Dude, u just wiped that city off the map. *rolling and holding together cracked ribs* And yeah, there has to be a power sharing arrangement. I told my girl we do as she says for the hols and clothes and sex, but I control errthing else (bills and general leadership and discipline). She cool with that. No human will be trampled on and remain happy, boy or girl.
    Riley, state dinners tho? Dude, I don’t even think yo sausage could fit in any pair of decent trousers.

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 3:46 pm
  154. Thank You dear! I’d definately deliver the message to my husband as he hasn’t seen it..

    Posted by thetoolswoman | July 6, 2011, 3:49 pm
  155. @chinny: I need to shut you up permanently with my dick.
    @slevin: You no get mouth here. Save your yarns for your wretched blog

    Posted by TweetFight | July 6, 2011, 3:56 pm
  156. So Kelv you went to my school too. *D’Banj nodding* Look, being intelligent is not dependent on the degrees you have or the places you’ve seen. I’ve been with girls so sharp that within weeks we are on the same talking level. Intelligence is defined as the rate of learning, not the amount. No matter what you do or earn or have experienced, I learn so fast that within months or seconds I have reached u and touched u deeply. So yeah, if King Bey were single, I would not hesitate to make my move. Kelvin we do think alike. Nice to meet you again. 😀

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 3:58 pm
  157. How his mind works abi? Lol. U mean how his sausage works? I love the power of expression thru sex that he has. I’m not that brutal. 😀

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 4:00 pm
  158. #Ohreally? 😀

    Posted by SlevinCalevra | July 6, 2011, 4:01 pm
  159. *rubbing palms* *sips ribena* 😀

    Posted by cecenostockings | July 6, 2011, 4:03 pm
  160. I have to agree Wole. Sometimes you could be proud without knowing and put people off. If I were a girl, I would run far from a man who thot he was more intelligent than me. Even if u are more intelligent than me, u’re not supposed to know that or care. If at the back of ur mind, ur the patron, it will show in your actions and like Wole said, u create a problem that wasnt there to start with. *sighs* I don’t want to dominate any woman.

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 4:03 pm
  161. Lol. Let’s interact. The avatar sef go fear you. Those eyes are too intense to interact with. We haff fear already.

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 4:06 pm
  162. U’re correct dear. Sometimes intelligence is all about being humble. The proud person thinks he or she knows and is as dumb as a doornail. The quiet, passive one knows so much and ends up getting his or her way with the tamed tiger and everyone wonders how the “dumb bimbo” did it. We need to learn from the woman who Stooped to Conquer. Men and women.

    Posted by highlandblue | July 6, 2011, 4:09 pm
  163. thank you blue 🙂

    Posted by kechilauren | July 6, 2011, 4:17 pm
  164. Ohhh shineke meh…wait lemme moan in ibo first

    Awww…amu gi..ouhh o tor gbuom..ohh biko e mezi laya ezigbo…ouuhh amu gi na tu tor….ouuuuhhh m na biazi …a chukwa nu bia…OUUUUUCHHHHH CHINEKE MEHHHHH!

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 6, 2011, 4:32 pm
  165. LOL!!!!!!!! Onye ara!!!!!

    Posted by cecenostockings | July 6, 2011, 4:45 pm
  166. *Takes a bow* @ibetapass I’m glad my dick satisfied you. Same time next week

    Posted by TweetFight | July 6, 2011, 4:56 pm
  167. you aint nice at all!!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by mabijo | July 6, 2011, 4:59 pm
  168. @tweetfight yaaa baby….not nextweek…FRIDAY…WETFRIDAY…u know! 🙂

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 6, 2011, 5:16 pm
  169. not if he gives it to you in the ass…

    Posted by awizii | July 6, 2011, 5:16 pm
  170. his highness has said it all.
    *planking while wheeling in you honour*

    Posted by bykerboi | July 6, 2011, 5:22 pm
  171. Abeg translate this ibo moan to english

    Posted by MzDharmi | July 6, 2011, 5:22 pm
  172. Tula wa gbayi! If not for anything, for the reactions you generate. One zobo pls, make it imperial. Thanks.
    But seriously, girls are now forming Ms Independent because that’s the new turn on for men abi? Dey dere! When its time to share the bills, don’t run and be forming Barbie oh! Pls be intelligent and confident because that’s what werks for you.
    I believe our social life is in strata. Let the those who love Ms Intelligent & Independent go for it, and those who love Ms Barbie, don’t judge them.
    I don’t only want Mr Intelligent, I also want intelligent friends. I don’t want to sit around friends that all they talk about is their recent conquest. And I want to be intelligent because I want to be able to solve my kids math quiz, without them waiting for their all-knowing Dad. I want to be independent cause why in hell will u rely on one person to cater to your needs, my folks sef won’t take that from me. And I can’t imagine asking for money anytime I want to buy pata. And pls what happens when the guy is broke & I have a major need, or the kids school fees are due? At the same time I want to be spoilt too, independence mi o de be yen.

    Posted by Nutella. | July 6, 2011, 5:36 pm
  173. U don’t say! Umuazi a egbugo’m here. LMAO!!!!!!

    Posted by Chicasa | July 6, 2011, 5:38 pm
  174. I think a lot of people stroked the point but didn’t elaborate on it
    Attending ivy league schools and travelling around the world makes you exposed ( this doesn’t always translate to intelligence)

    Everyone, in my opinon should have some form of pride male /female how you manage it in a relationship
    Makes you intelligent. Intelligence sometimes is not a 5.0 GPA its picking a guy
    Who in the next fifteen years would become president. In my opinon, intelligence is how smart you are with the decisions you make.
    So, how many oF us are truly intelligent to humble ourselves for the greater good?

    Finance, is key in every relationship but who earns more doesn’t need to affect the relationship if one is truly intelligent. An Intelligent person would know the
    Kind of person they are intrested in after a few dates ( gold digger, ambitious , scared , primitive, egoistic etc ) and
    Decide to stay or walk. Any Man I choose to be with I believe I am intelligent enough to do what it takes to keep him
    If I consider him worthy. If I assumed wrong, I’m human enough to admit my mistake and breakup!

    Also, real life is not a Beyonce song * let me upgrade u , its easier said than done ! And taking me shopping, and summers in france is a vacation not an overall upgarde. When you upgrade your computer Works better and faster. If you truly upgrade someone that’s an act of kindness and your reward should come from God.
    A real upgrade involves helping someone find or actualise their dreams.(< This is love )

    Either ways, let's stop generalising and put in more hours a day to be
    The kind of men and women we think we are and others should be.

    Posted by florence Warmate | July 6, 2011, 5:39 pm
  175. Exactly.

    Posted by awizii | July 6, 2011, 5:45 pm
  176. Is Fred ade Williams going for Surgery today

    Posted by karimo | July 6, 2011, 5:59 pm
  177. I like this. I’ve enjoyed every single comment thus far…well, of “airtight holes and submissive bitches” no comment.

    The simple way Alice put this has inspired me to comment. I don’t want anything complicated and yes, a lot of us men have egos waaaay bigger than our dicks and sometimes it might just irk me that some chic I’m tryna get is smarter than me but I’ll be honest and my friends can vouch for me, I will ask to be let into your world. I will try to know what you know, I will ask, I will suppress my ego just to learn from you. I honestly do not have a problem with that.

    I’m also impressed with the way Wole and @Lagoshunter put their points across, I don’t support the culture of generalization that has swept through the comments. Not all men would remain in a losers corner just because their girl is more intelligent than he is.

    Posted by awizii | July 6, 2011, 6:03 pm
  178. report to the bedroom Coco.

    Posted by awizii | July 6, 2011, 6:13 pm
  179. Gladly..this Is d translation…
    Awww…amu gi..ouhh o tor gbuom..ohh biko e mezi laya ezigbo…ouuhh amu gi na tu tor….ouuuuhhh m na biazi …a chukwa nu bia…OUUUUUCHHHHH CHINEKE MEHHHHH!
    It means…aww ur dick..oouhh e don sweet me die…ohh pls don’t come quick…ur dick is sweet..ouuuuhhh am coming…I want to com..OOUUCCHHHHHH MY GOD

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 6, 2011, 6:14 pm
  180. @karimo…ask @tackyLavish or @oluomooflasgidi

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 6, 2011, 6:37 pm
  181. Kai..una take thinz seriously o..
    Toolsman u are the one who caused this..
    Let me just say next time,its either ego or money/class issues..lest we all run wild making generalisations

    Posted by iamsamsie | July 6, 2011, 6:50 pm
  182. Kai..una take thinz seriously o..
    Toolsman u are the one who caused this..
    Let me just say next time,its either ego or money/class issues..lest we all run wild making generalisations did someone say my friends are dumb?if I enter u bros,,u will emerge with asplenia.

    Posted by iamsamsie | July 6, 2011, 6:51 pm
  183. I’m so grateful to God for giving me the opportunity to achieve this. It is not an easy something oh. Meanwhile where is mallam Sawyerr? I need a bottle of Zobo Imperial.
    Moving on….
    Intellectually smart women turn me on, cos they r constant reminders/motivators for me to always improve myself. That said, the issue being discussd here DEPENDS on the personalities of the ppl involved. A lot of guys say they want intelligence in their women, but why do they? I think some ppl can not answer this question accurately. Is it just restricted to her not falling ur hand in public? The answer to this will go a long way in answering the question of whether guys can handle such women. Now onto the women, the personality of the woman involved is a factor. Take for example the scenario depicted by ThinkTank. This is just my opinion tho.

    Posted by tobicomm | July 6, 2011, 7:34 pm
  184. I’m presently in dis exact situation. I am smarter than my guy. He knows this I know it too. I don’t rub it in his face though. I dumb down a lot just so he don’t feel bad. The only reason he knows I’m smarter than him(cos I really hide it)is when I sometimes get carried away while discussing amongst friends. When I’m discusing from international politics to current affairs to economics and banking all in one breath.I’m nt sure I’m doing d best thing for us cos if I keep repressing and dumbing down, one day I just might snap and say some not-so-nice things to him. On the other hand he is very good with emotional and social issues I know hw much my personal life, relations, control, understanding and expressing my emotions hv grown becos of him. He was patient with me enough to teach me these stuffs. So I think its a healthy balance really cos 2 intelligent robots doesn’t seem like d ish.

    Posted by ifeelyou | July 6, 2011, 7:46 pm
  185. Bruhahahahhaahaha! Ibeta u r not a well sombori sha!

    Posted by Anonymous | July 6, 2011, 8:27 pm
  186. after reading your comment I have nothing else to say…couldn’t have said it better…One shilled bottle of Zobo Imperial for you…and because we share the same sentiments I’ll add a complimentary bottle of Zobo Classic for you…hehehehehe

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | July 6, 2011, 8:41 pm
  187. It is definitely not the apparent scarcity of intelligent/confident women that has led men to expect to wear the pants in a relationship. Men were raised to wear the pants. The society made it so that a woman had very limited roles since way back when – cook, clean, have babies, service oga (heehee) – and was forced (yes, forced) to rely completely on her man for everything because she couldn’t leave her home or earn a living. In times past, if a woman dared to say/do anything intelligent, she was beaten and cautioned severely because she had no right to be smart. Look around you. This still happens in 2011. She has only started to fend for herself in recent times because the oppression has lifted somewhat. So there is no scarcity of intelligent/confident women. Most men have very low expectations of women because of the society, and are put off when these expectations are exceeded.
    There are definitely strong men that can handle strong women, but as far as I know, they are so few that they’re almost negligible when compared to the opposite.

    Posted by dokinta | July 6, 2011, 8:45 pm
  188. Funny, this is exactly how my sister and her husband are. The fact that he’s such a great guy and has such an open mind was what made me get over my initial pampara.

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | July 6, 2011, 8:47 pm
  189. *In that Mortal Kombat guys voice* FINISH HIM!!!! FATALITY!!!! FLAWLESS VICTORY!!!! One Zobo Imperial Ultimate for you egbon Hunter.

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | July 6, 2011, 8:53 pm
  190. *In Denzel’s voice* My man!!!! Your head dey der o jare…oya gba sibe *gives him correct knuckle*. At least you’ve been to two continents…I haven’t…physically…

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | July 6, 2011, 9:11 pm
  191. *sigh* I absolutely love my blogfam…let’s hear it for Knight Wole of the Order of Moi Moi…hehehehe

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | July 6, 2011, 9:14 pm
  192. Lagoshunter, hear him, speaks for me. Good one, man!

    Posted by inesqor | July 6, 2011, 9:30 pm
  193. also known as the “self-fulfilling prophecy”…#GBAM

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | July 6, 2011, 9:32 pm
  194. +1 Good one! First (female) post I agree with.

    Posted by inesqor | July 6, 2011, 9:39 pm
  195. BBB, chop knuckle jare! 😀

    Posted by inesqor | July 6, 2011, 9:43 pm
  196. Finally I get to the end of all the comments…*relief*
    Frankly, Ms Congeniality, Wole, n Hunter have ended this topic. Riley, *in Will Smith’s voice* I lorr u mehn. @TweetFight…oh well…guess u’r d new Mantis…u’re welcome. Here sit on dis \_ n sip on dis \_/…

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | July 6, 2011, 9:59 pm
  197. WOW..this is serious!…everybody here is so smart…I guess.. *insert statement that makes me look smart here* 😀
    Different strokes for different folks really applies here… I have learnt a lot…nice work.
    I love the use of Somto on those scenarios…dunno why

    Posted by kemmiiii | July 6, 2011, 11:05 pm
  198. I feel you girl.

    Posted by highlandblue | July 7, 2011, 8:34 am
  199. *sigh*!
    I thought this was for the guys to speak their minds? And from that we’d know how many of them can really cope with women who are (in some way) ahead of them?

    The comments are interesting, but ah reading them on all the relationship posts on this blog is becoming tiring. Same old same old everytime.
    Everytime, complaints complaints complaints!

    Ladies, its not by force to date someone. If you don’t like what u see, and u truly feel the man is ttrying to put u in a corner, move on! Find someone else who could share your views, and leave you right where u wanna be
    My mother is an incredible, intelligent, strong woman. Yeah they squabble and stuff, but I don’t see my dad threatened by that in any way.
    I know there are some guys who would feel insecure/ want to be better than their women in every way, I don’t go near those ones. There are still a number of women for them, women who want their men to have the upper hand.
    Let’s not generalise. I tend to lean towards more serious topics, and conversations. I’ve dated a fair number of guys, and its never been an issue.
    Find your match #thatisall

    Posted by Yass | July 7, 2011, 9:07 am
  200. This right here, is THE comment! Tharrisall…

    Posted by 0latoxic | July 7, 2011, 9:27 am
  201. well said brother, on point. afterall there is no death penalty for anyone who hasnt travelled abroad

    Posted by DJ Niro | July 12, 2011, 10:47 pm
  202. I like that..so true and wise strategy

    Posted by Adwoa | July 22, 2011, 7:23 am
  203. Intelligent and practical. It is true, no matter how muc money a woman makes, she must be humble n submissive to her man. Thanks

    Posted by Adwoa | July 22, 2011, 7:42 am
  204. Articles like this are an example of quick, helpful answers

    Posted by Dare Photography | September 7, 2011, 6:52 pm
  205. Men want intelligent women, women de can showoff bt d real deal is de dnt wnt women smarter thn dem cos it creates a large room for a complex, de tend to exhibit ds complex by engagn coercion. Ds is usualli d source of domestic violence n physical abuse. ‘Unfortnately’ for men lik ds(cos I’m nt sayn al men r of ds calibre),de avto learn to conform cos losing d chic is a lose-lose situation for dem. Bt I believe er grl wnts her man smarter than she is,bt nt too smart sha…lol.

    Posted by Vanillandy | October 20, 2011, 8:28 pm
  206. I used to be suggested this web site through my cousin.
    I’m not certain whether this submit is written through him
    as no one else know such exact approximately my trouble.
    You are incredible! Thank you!

    Posted by naijagistmania | September 13, 2013, 10:37 am

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