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Betty Tuesdays

Alone Again.

I met Tolu Talabi, whose work you’re reading today, at the Farafina Workshop. Tolu is an extremely intelligent guy whose work I think is simply brilliant! I saw this and thought to share it with you. Do enjoy and share your thoughts on your way out.

Tolu writes (along with the other members of the Farafina 2011 workshop) at Linguistic Playfulness.wordpress.com.

*************************

You say, “I’m not looking for anything right now. I’m not interested. My life is too complicated, I am never home, I can’t make time for it.”
But they counter with the same arguments they always use, “It’s so cute, you’ll love it. It’s beautiful.” “Won’t it be nice to have something to come home to? something to look forward to?”

So you argue back and forth and eventually get to a concession that sees you going home from the florist with a potted plant. A simple plant that you should be able manage on your busy schedule. Something so low maintenance even you can’t screw it up, all you have to do is check on it a couple of times a week, take it out so it spends some time in the sun, and feed it by watering.

The first couple of days are wonderful, everything looks great, its beautiful flowers stand upright greeting you with a smile at the end of every day. But then it all starts to go wrong because even the low maintenance ones have needs they don’t tell you about. At first it’s little things, bits and pieces that used to exist before no longer do. Some of the things that change are hardly noticeable, but all are warning signs. The welcoming smile is gone. Petals wilt and fall off. The leaves hang limply, browning at the edges. You do everything you’re supposed to, but there is no improvement.

So you ask, “how can I fix things? How can I make things better? How can I turn things back to the way they used to be?” But it’s a plant and plants don’t talk. Communication has always been a one-way street, and that didn’t bother you back when things were rosy. You didn’t care until things turned sour and now you need to be told what to do.
“What do you want? Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it!” you scream, but there is no response.

You look up ways to make it better, online searches for sunny getaways, anything to bring the smile back. You seek expert opinion, the advice of someone who understands, anyone who has been in a similar situation.
“Is there an horticulturist in the house?”
Nothing works… its once proud flowers droop, all but dead, shadows of their former selves. But you don’t give up, not yet. You spend more and more time on it, trying different things, taking it out more often, watering feverishly. Things that you should have done more of in the beginning. It’s too late for regrets now, your frantic attempts only bring you closer to the inevitable end.

Finally, you make a last ditch effort, you put in so much water that it spills over the edges, love overflowing, you take it outside on the hottest day…. there it all comes to a head, the plant drowns, the remaining leaves wither away in the scorching sun. All you’re left with is an empty pot with dead roots.
A flower pot that once held a beautiful daisy.
An empty heart that once had a connection.

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About Betty

Attaining 'halcyon'... @UberBetty

Discussion

56 thoughts on “Alone Again.

  1. madness

    Posted by buga | July 12, 2011, 9:00 am
  2. I hate u

    Posted by bimbo | July 12, 2011, 9:01 am
  3. Ha! 🙂

    Posted by adacampbell | July 12, 2011, 9:01 am
  4. Glo are bastards sh.

    Posted by Lady_corrs | July 12, 2011, 9:02 am
  5. 4th?

    Posted by Genesis | July 12, 2011, 9:03 am
  6. But UberBetty this piece is awesome. And sad. The irony is that we take people for granted and actually put less effort in them when they get close to us or when they pledge to be with us forever. God help me. We put more effort into new people and neglect the old. Then we say we grew apart. Lovely post Betty. ((((hugs)))) Now back to work.
    (I cant handle Riley today)

    Posted by highlandblue | July 12, 2011, 9:03 am
  7. TOP 10

    Posted by FOXY | July 12, 2011, 9:04 am
  8. I was 4th. Its a start. *sips Lacasera*

    Posted by Lady_corrs | July 12, 2011, 9:06 am
  9. 2nd????:D

    Posted by topeesther | July 12, 2011, 9:06 am
  10. LMAOOO. NOW this here is jokes. 2nd at 9.06??? guurrrlll puhleeeseee. this is THE TOOLSMANS BLOG!

    Posted by bimbo | July 12, 2011, 9:10 am
  11. Top ten!

    Posted by MsWaspy | July 12, 2011, 9:10 am
  12. Goodmorning beautiful people 🙂 🙂

    Posted by Yass | July 12, 2011, 9:11 am
  13. You don’t know how many scenarios came to mind when I was reading this…
    Lovely post!

    Posted by Cleo | July 12, 2011, 9:11 am
  14. This is so true n can totally relate to it..
    i have a very bad habit of drifting away form pple n conversations after some time, even when d other party’s trying so to keep it budding 😦
    so today, I make a pledge to take baby steps today, 12/7/2011 . i hope a pray 4 the best 😦 i also know it is extremely late 4 sum pple in my life but I’ll still give it a try … in fact, this pledge also goes out to my dog_- i took a good look @ her on Sunday n noticed how unkempt n starved she actually is 😥 i actually feel terrible…
    All typos r mine …

    Posted by FOXY | July 12, 2011, 9:13 am
  15. all i can say is WOW! i have soooo never looked at relationships (love, freindship, watnot) from this perspective. in d begining cos errything is all well and good i never think the relationship needs any nourishment. i just assume its gonna stay al pretty and alive till whenever. Thank you for this. Now i know

    Posted by bimbo | July 12, 2011, 9:14 am
  16. Story of the flower,story of most relationships…holding on when its all dead,yearning for a lost connection…. Good one!

    Posted by sirkellz | July 12, 2011, 9:18 am
  17. Very nice post!!

    Posted by kymiii | July 12, 2011, 9:20 am
  18. Hmmmmm…….this post is deep…..plus that last part” An empty heart that once had a connection” ….I think ds relates to RILEY tho….

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 12, 2011, 9:23 am
  19. As is the way of all living things;we take for granted the most Pertinent parts of our existence. Smoking feels cool until that cough gets a little disturbing. You realize she’s been in love with you only after she’s moved on to another’s home. The father sees his only son as bereft of an upbringing only after the child’s in jail for life. But knowing all these won’t change the fate of a second flower. We are what we are. Nice one Betty. 😉

    Posted by Genesis | July 12, 2011, 9:23 am
  20. Moral of the Story: Don’t even attempt it in the first instance… Only do it if you absolutely must, with the full knowledge that it will wither…

    No matter how beautiful a ‘plant'(love, marriage, wateva) is; it is destined to die just like all living things..

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | July 12, 2011, 9:26 am
  21. Okay, read it and I’m sad.

    It’s funny and in many cases a mystery how things change in the twinkle of an eye. We all crave change but deep down we’re afraid of change.

    Lovely post…

    Posted by MsWaspy | July 12, 2011, 9:32 am
  22. I love this.

    Posted by hamitaf2 | July 12, 2011, 9:34 am
  23. Wowowowowwowowoow! Pls wts d beef btwn ibetapassmyneighbour n riley. Nt like I care much for the guy bt dnt u fnk using his words brings u down to his level #jst sayin
    My best betty tuesday, nt too many tears today. Halleluyah

    Posted by some girl | July 12, 2011, 9:39 am
  24. Thanks for the comments, all. Very very much appreciated.
    Our group blog is online here: http://linguisticplayfulness.wordpress.com
    and from there you can link to my personal blog and that of the other members.
    Thanks again.

    Posted by tolutalabi | July 12, 2011, 9:41 am
  25. Why suffer torment when it cld have been avoided… why do we willfully work towards creating a void when it cl have been avoided… like all living things, every ‘plant'(love, marriage, wateva), is bound to die one way or the other…

    dont even attempt it, only if u believe it is absolutely necessary…

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | July 12, 2011, 9:43 am
  26. Such a sad story we do take pple for granted especially in r/ships. We become self absorbed never thinking of the other person. R/ships are called that cos they involve more than just one person

    Posted by dee | July 12, 2011, 9:48 am
  27. this is soo beautiful

    Posted by pippi longstockings | July 12, 2011, 9:50 am
  28. Such a sad story we do take pple for granted especially in r/ships. We become self absorbed never thinking of the other person. R/ships are called that cos they involve more than just one person. It reminds me of my literature class

    Posted by dee | July 12, 2011, 9:53 am
  29. Wow!! This is deep. I have never looked at my relationships/friendships from this perspective before. Henceforth, I’ll make a conscious effort to “watering and adding sunlight to my plants and flowers”. Thank you Betty. 😀

    Posted by Lady_corrs | July 12, 2011, 9:54 am
  30. I cldnt agree more!

    Posted by yetitweets | July 12, 2011, 10:03 am
  31. y r u now copying my comment ehn? is dis how u plan to start ‘watering’ your own daisy. mscheeeeewwwww

    Posted by bimbo | July 12, 2011, 10:04 am
  32. I can totally relate to this.

    Posted by qama | July 12, 2011, 10:16 am
  33. The Potted plant as a metaphor for relationships? Interesting…and well written.

    Nice to see another talented Talabi. I’m yet to see/meet one that didnt impress. Yes, my last name is Talabi too so I’m famzing. *shrug*

    Posted by ThinkTank! | July 12, 2011, 10:18 am
  34. Tolu Talabi is def a good writer!I’ll definitely look out for him.
    Classic story on our relationships with people. Human flaw thats been around forever. Never hesitate to put effort into every meaningful relationship that brought you initial happiness.

    Posted by Georgeenah | July 12, 2011, 10:23 am
  35. Lol! hmm..i suspect you and him have a connection.

    Posted by Georgeenah | July 12, 2011, 10:26 am
  36. This makes sense on so many levels… Nice one betty

    Posted by Simmylala | July 12, 2011, 10:36 am
  37. Nice post. Impressive stuff!

    Posted by oluwatosin | July 12, 2011, 10:37 am
  38. Beautiful work…extremely deep and thought-provoking too…
    iLike!!! *thumbs up*

    Posted by xtra | July 12, 2011, 11:57 am
  39. It’s a plant…get a new one! 😐

    Posted by naijaninja101 | July 12, 2011, 12:05 pm
  40. (Y) Talabi. Toolsman read & leam

    Posted by PreyingMantis | July 12, 2011, 1:38 pm
  41. But you tried your best…you saw the wilting smiles and the dying signs…
    you took it to horticulturist…you overflowed it with (love) water…

    Does this mean there is nothing you can do to save the day?

    Why did it have to dieeeeeee??? *sob sob sob*

    *sniff*

    He’s a good writer sha…even though he made me sad.

    Posted by slimsiren | July 12, 2011, 2:09 pm
  42. Leam? The all knowing, always perfect insect missed that?

    Posted by thetoolsman | July 12, 2011, 2:22 pm
  43. Mr. Toolsman, for your sake have your eyes checked

    Posted by PreyingMantis | July 12, 2011, 3:07 pm
  44. I read your blog like everday, read through the comments and just laugh. Until today. I totally identify with this post. I just lost somebody i really liked because of same attitude. Everday i hope and hope and hope that he calls me and tells me he misses me as much as I miss him. Unfortunately his heart is empty at least concerning me. We lost the connection.

    Posted by Funmi | July 12, 2011, 3:53 pm
  45. beautiful writing

    Posted by BBB | July 12, 2011, 3:58 pm
  46. Nice post!!!!! So much in one post! *now checking my relationship staus*

    Posted by priiyee | July 12, 2011, 4:00 pm
  47. See what I did there.. Only reason you’re still here is cause we want you. Grow a sense of humour and stop trying to start ‘twitfights’..

    Posted by thetoolsman | July 12, 2011, 4:46 pm
  48. This is soooo beautiful……but the plant was gonna die regardless no matter how well he took care of it……..wish I cud rewrite the end. 😦 #teamhappyendings.

    Posted by zany | July 12, 2011, 5:55 pm
  49. Meeeennnnn!!!!!!!!! Hmmmnnn!!!!

    Posted by @Kayshawy | July 12, 2011, 7:42 pm
  50. Aaabeg who’s ds @preyingmaantis idiot…ogaa aaabeg move ur blockhead comot here…psst psst psst..nice write up talabi

    Posted by MrOmole | July 12, 2011, 9:00 pm
  51. Beautiful….Just Beautiful

    Posted by kemmiiii | July 13, 2011, 12:21 am
  52. #OceanicDepth…darrizall I have to say. *pours his can of Zobo Adrenaline on the insect on his way out*

    Posted by musingsofagidimallam | July 13, 2011, 5:56 am
  53. Good Job….

    Posted by MsDee | July 13, 2011, 7:36 am
  54. couldn’t u have squashed it on ur way out?

    Posted by MzDharmi | July 13, 2011, 8:07 am

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