Hey everyone. *dodges tomatoes* Y’all know I can’t hold out on you like that.. :). So, I’m excited this morning. Why? Well, for starters I’m still off work so…booyah…. Today’s also the birthday of a very very good friend and finally, the countdown to the awesome month of August when we celebrate out first year anniversary officially begins this week. Make sure you check back for details of activities we have lined up.
Now, today’s post might come off as a joke (especially to the ladies) but I’d like to see the talking points that spin off it. It was written by a good friend of mine, Biodun .F. (@biodunf) and no he’s not a blogger.
The people with science backgrounds and pretty much everyone who has seen The Matrix or some other out-of-this-world sci-fi action movie should know that there are always glitches in systems that allow you do the ‘extra ordinary’. (Neo stopping bullets) For those of us that have been in a relationship for a bit and have gotten involved in some ‘extra-curricular’ activities, I’m here to vindicate you and help get you out of that tight corner whenever you get caught.
Over time I’ve come across certain rules that allow guys or even girls have some sort of ‘hall pass’ out of their relationships and I’d just like to share them.
Time Zone: If you cheat on your partner in another time zone, say maybe you are in Nigeria and he/she is in the US, IT’S NOT CHEATING!!! I’ll explain. One of you is in the future and the other is in the past, so you are technically not dating at that time in the future. Who knows if you guys would still be in a relationship in the next 4 hours.
Mile High: We all know what the mile high club is, right? (well… basically that’s having sex in an in-flight airplane for more info check out: www.milehighclub.com). So here is the loophole; you are on land and your partner is way up in the air. IT’S NOT CHEATING!!! The exclusivity rules don’t apply. The air up there is different from down here and the rules of gravity and hence all other rules don’t apply. If you don’t believe me refer to page 72 of Principles of Physics by P.N. Okeke. (Seriously … stop that)
Travelling Back in Time: Here’s a favourite. It’s indirectly related to Okafor’s law i.e. sleeping with an ex. If your partner catches you in bed with an ex, NO, IT’S NOT CHEATING!!! You’ve already shagged the ex in the past, so it’s not like you’re doing something new, right?
Different Race: Here’s another good one. If you are getting some on the side with someone of a different race, guess what… IT’S NOT CHEATING!!! Let me explain, you are black and she’s white, it’s neither here nor there. Like they say ‘it’s a GREY area’. In fact, some take it as far as saying cheating with someone who speaks a different language doesn’t count. I personally can’t explain that one yet, so if you get caught doing that, you are on your own.
Life or Death: Remember the movie ‘Without a paddle’? Remember that scene where three guys were caught in the rain in the middle of the jungle and they had no means of keeping warm besides snuggling up? And then that R.Kelly song came on, ‘……my minds telling me no, but my body, my body is telling me YEAH!!!’. Ok so picture getting caught in that Lagos flood last week with someone of the opposite sex, say maybe in some cave in Alagbado or Ajangbadi. It’s cold as hell and the only way to keep warm is to … erm… ‘snuggle up’ with other person. Your boyfriend/girlfriend wouldn’t mind you getting a couple of warm thrusts to keep you alive, would they? Would you? In fact the person you slept with might even get a medal for bravery, yes? No?
So there they are, I bet some of you have some more interesting ideas of getting out of those tight corners. So back to you toolsman and thanks for having me here.
Joke? Yes? No? Maybe? This morning has certainly been about the jokes. I’ll definitely like to hear your thoughts on this one. Use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.