Hey everyone. Hope your weekend was half as good as mine (I strongly doubt this tho J ). So, I really wont be posting much this week; like I said last week, I’ll be talking a lot about our transition to the new site as well as The naked Convos #1. Like I said last week, I’ve gotten the sponsors to give us twenty invites to give away so between now and Wednesday, I have to find ways to give them all out.
Before we get to that, today’s post is a throwback. I wrote this a while ago for a friends blog and based on some recent events, I thought it’d be good to post it here so ….
DMX once rapped “Tired of weak ass niggas whining over p*ssy that don’t belong to them” (Party up in here). A lot of times when I hear people talk about rejection and the fear of it, it’s mostly women doing the talking. Especially with our African women, they find the idea of a gurl asking a guy out almost ludicrous not to talk about a woman proposing to a guy. There really isn’t much to think about here because no matter the excuse we try to hide behind, and there are loads of them, from cultural to religious implications (yup, I’ve heard them all), the plain and simple truth is that we are all scared of rejection.
That being said; there’s a very thick line, heck, it’s more like a gorge between post-rejection wallowing and whining over something was never and probably could never be yours. Well, today, I’m not going to talk about the stereotype; no sir, contrary to what most people think, post-rejection wallowing/whining is also very common with men. It’s quite sad to see how a lot of guys misunderstand rejection for fronting or invitation for persistence. Don’t get me wrong, our women front, there’s no debate there. And sometimes, a little bit of persistence isn’t bad (Ask Obama and Michele) but you need to learn where to draw the line. Let me spell it out for you: sometimes – no, in fact, most times, No means NO!
You’re good looking ….. NO!
You drive a good car ….. NO!
You have a good job ….. NO!
No matter how much of a catch you seem to be by ‘popular standards’, I think being able to ‘humble’ yourself to the point where you can accept and process rejection (in all forms) is a very important quality. It’s sort of like being able to laugh at yourself (not at your own jokes), I mean, being able to look in the mirror after making a major mistake and then laughing at your own stupidity. A lot of men need to understand and accept the fact that not all women in the world want Mr. Perfect (some will rather have Mr. Just Ok, Mr. good looking with a temper or Mr. Ugly with a long John)
In conclusion, I’d like to add that the inability to process rejection is not only inherent in good looking or ‘seemingly’ hawt men. Even the not-so-perfect guys sometimes fail to understand why she won’t give them a shot. You might be tempted to ask “what exactly is their problem?” To respond to that, I’ll quote @LagosHunter: “just as some ‘hawt’ people have inferiority complex”, so do ‘not so’ hawt people have a superiority complexes.” And that simply explain it. Anyways, I guess the best way to find answers is to get you guys in on it. You know the drill; use the comment box to speak your mind. Why do you think people find it so hard to accept the word “NO”.
And now, for todays, give away. I’ll be giving out five invites today and there are two ways to win.
I have here three very random numbers: 31, 57 and 74. If your comment comes in on either of those numbers, you’ll get a free invite to The Naked Convos #1.
Secondly, I’ve hidden two invites with two passwords in two of our old posts. The first two people to find the invites and come here to put up a comment with the post title under, which they appear as well as the password win invites. Good luck.
PS: Please make sure to comment with a valid email address and also, ensure you’ll be free to attend the event before participating.