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Wednesday Dialogue

The Shrink & I

The phone rings. I tell him to ignore it. I pull him back into bed, into the softness of my hands and the warmth of my embrace. His lips, softer than marsh-mellows, his body, firm and securing. I lust after him even while he’s with me. His heart, his mind, his everything… I’m in love with. He lays it all on me. Legs wrapped round his waist. I want more. I always want more. Our blissful image fades away as the stares and the jeers from the faces around us become more intense.

I’ve known Gbenga for 3 years and we’ve been together for a little over 2 of those wonderful years. He is married to a bitch. She literally drives him crazy. Despite his huge manly frame, it isn’t hard to know who the man of his house is. I’ll always remain thankful to her though. I’ll always be thankful she annoyed him so much he wandered into that bar. The same bar I was that night. He started with one shot and then more followed.  I had noticed him the moment he walked in and as I sat in the corner watching him, I knew he needed help. I knew he needed my help.

I became Gbenga’s shrink that night and days after, he opened his broken self to me. Maybe it’s because we have a lot in common, or maybe I’m just a damn good doctor. For whatever reason, he felt comfortable confiding in me and for the first time since he got married, Gbenga told someone he was scared of his wife. Her presence frightened him and he said he was sure the reason she hadn’t gotten pregnant for him was because his seeds could never germinate in her evil garden.

Our sessions continued for a long time before I hinted him about my feelings and even then, I knew I had to be careful. Not only does it go against professional ethics, I also didn’t want to scare him off. He was always so happy to get on my consulting couch. On it, he becomes the man he truly is; he laughs at my jokes and even cracks some too. Memories of his wife completely fade away whenever he rests on Lucy (yes, I named my couch).

The first cut they say is the deepest – not with Gbenga. It felt almost as if he expected it, almost as it he wanted it, almost as if he knew. Lucy became our spot for many weeks after that and I just knew he had to be mine. But the only way it will work is if he leaves his wife. I didn’t suggest it,  it was him. He knew we would have to adopt kids because I can’t have any. He knew he would have to face his wife and eventually face the world someday. Well, today is that day. Here I stand in his parents living room holding his hand firmly, watching for reactions as the words left his mouth: “Papa, this is the man I love and want to marry.”

*****

On the 24th of July 2011, same-sex marriage became legal in the U.S. state of New York sparking off conversations in many quarters. I co-wrote this piece with a member of the community here, @FoluShaw because we feel the time is right to bring this discussion to the fore.

There’s no denying the fact that we have homosexual men and women living in our society, some we know, others we don’t. Some of us openly judge them while others embrace them. As this is a very touchy subject, I’d like to plead for us to be as objective as possible with our comments. I’d like to hear your views on the subject starting with your personal opinion on homosexuality and our society. Use the comment box to speak your mind.

PS: We still have a few invites to give away to our event, The Naked Convos #1 holding this Sunday. To win invites today, you’ll have to follow the @TheNakedConvos twitter handle and look out for the challenge later in the day. Good luck.

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About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman

Discussion

252 thoughts on “The Shrink & I

  1. (y)

    Posted by niyoo | July 27, 2011, 9:01 am
  2. Great.

    Posted by All Heart | July 27, 2011, 9:02 am
  3. 1st five ?

    Posted by JPurkinD | July 27, 2011, 9:03 am
  4. Do you wait for him to post something or thetoolsman has started snitching.

    Posted by ME. | July 27, 2011, 9:03 am
  5. 4th

    Posted by MzDharmi | July 27, 2011, 9:03 am
  6. See una life.

    Posted by Lady_corrs | July 27, 2011, 9:04 am
  7. Yaaaaaaay finally I’m 4th. *panting* now lemme go read d post

    Posted by misstang | July 27, 2011, 9:04 am
  8. *sigh*

    Posted by tobicomm | July 27, 2011, 9:05 am
  9. 6th

    Posted by zoe | July 27, 2011, 9:05 am
  10. not fair! i had plans *sobs*

    Posted by Osho | July 27, 2011, 9:06 am
  11. OH! errm why did no one fight to carry first on this one? well homosexuality is a topic i might not be very objective about so i no comment on top this one… Riley, where you dey?

    Posted by ΣΓΤ | July 27, 2011, 9:08 am
  12. About the shrink dating the patient, *sigh* That happens so often in dependent relationships. I think she should have counselled both husband and wife together from the start. He was unhappy his marriage was on the rocks. The marriage should have been the focus. I think she took advantage of a weak, needy man with no one to talk to. About homosexual marriage, I reserve my comments. I am happy I grew up in a home with a father and a mother. I shudder for the children that would have to grow up in those homes in the confused world we already have.

    Posted by highlandblue | July 27, 2011, 9:09 am
  13. Homosexuality is a choice! As long as u r happy wiv the person u r gonna spend d rest of ur life wif, fuck wat others say!!!

    Posted by airny | July 27, 2011, 9:10 am
  14. touchy subject indeed… I’ll always stand for the way the Author meant it to be: A man to a woman

    Posted by BoukkieO | July 27, 2011, 9:10 am
  15. Not a supporter of same sex marriage at all. I don’t hate those who live it but I don’t want to hear ‘mama,this is the man I love and want to marry’ from those I love. Its just insane,IMO! Why don’t you explore the opposite sex,its more fun! The worst of the kind for me is the transvestite! Smh at the craze in the world,thank God I’m not God!

    Posted by mabijo | July 27, 2011, 9:11 am
  16. Haha first 20!!! Is d shrink a guy??

    Posted by KIm | July 27, 2011, 9:11 am
  17. She? I think you need to read this again.

    Posted by thetoolsman | July 27, 2011, 9:11 am
  18. I dont have a gay friend…….. yet.

    but if one of my niqquaz decides to jump outta the closet….shiiiiii….its all good with me.

    i think i have passed my homophob stage a long time ago….(living in Canada can make u as liberal as fuck)

    As long as no one bum rapes me or bum rapes my unborn son…..We can all get along.

    Posted by ShoWade | July 27, 2011, 9:12 am
  19. ooo wow….the shrink was a guy??? oo wow…

    Posted by misunderstoodsmind | July 27, 2011, 9:12 am
  20. If it makes u happy den go for it.I’m really indifferent tho.two grls hmmm juicy.two guys eeeeeeerrrrrrrr nooooooooooo.#okbye

    Posted by misstang | July 27, 2011, 9:12 am
  21. Oh no!!!! D shrink is a guy 😦

    Posted by KIm | July 27, 2011, 9:13 am
  22. …Wow! That came out of nowhere…had to go back to the beginning to see if I missed any clues…I’m kind of on the fence about homosexuality…as a christian, I believe it is wrong…BUT I really think that some people might really be born that way…and God made them too…still trying to figure this one out..

    Posted by Zed | July 27, 2011, 9:14 am
  23. Hmm. This is a very sensitive subject. Personally, I think my religious upbringing always makes me scared of venturing into homosexuality. I am somewhat attracted to girls, but I don’t think it will develop into something as serious as marriage. I can’t really comment because some people say they were born gay, or you can’t control who you love. For me, I just know I could never do it. I might play around the issue, but that’s all it would be. I cannot judge others for what they do or how they feel.

    Posted by All Heart | July 27, 2011, 9:14 am
  24. When it comes to homosexuals and them getting married, I really think they should be allowed. We should all be free to allow anyone to get married to who ever and what ever they want. They allowed a woman to get married to the Eiffel Tower for fucks sake and two guys cant get married??? (If you don’t believe me, goggle it and see for yourself. Also goggle the guy that has ‘sex’ with cars)

    Cite religious claims and say they are going to hell. You there, you masturbate, where do you think you are going? Girl back there, ya you had sex with three different guys last week, where do you think your place will be? And the boyfriend and girlfriend who have sex and are not married, you know that’s fornication right and its a sin? Thank me for educating you.

    My own two kobo! I know this comment will be agreed with by some and I will prolly get death threats for it. Just think of the matter objectively and not with a narrow mind, shikena!

    Posted by d3ola | July 27, 2011, 9:15 am
  25. wooow…..dt kinda sucks tho….. leave ur wife for a dude?camman!!!hv nofn agnst d gays buh….cammman!!!

    Posted by misunderstoodsmind | July 27, 2011, 9:15 am
  26. Wowzers!! The shrink is a guy…he must have brainwashed this Gbenga fellow.

    I personally don’t have anything against gay people…I don’t know if its of the devil or what not…I’d rather not judge, the whole thing confuses me mehn.

    I don’t know if people are born gay..my cousin had gay tendencies when he was 2….scary ish

    Posted by Iyamilele | July 27, 2011, 9:17 am
  27. the shrink is a man!!!!!

    Posted by Domina | July 27, 2011, 9:17 am
  28. I do not believe homosexuality is right…its unnatural to me and no matter the laws, or fame given in favour to it, this remains my stand. I don’t have any homesexual friends (that I know of) so I can’t say I even partially understand how their reasoning works on this issue. There’s no hate here, I just have a strong differing opinion from those involved/supporting.

    Posted by jAyajade | July 27, 2011, 9:17 am
  29. Personally,I think gay guys are really awesome ,I’m indifferent to anybody’s sexual preference,nobody is in a position to judge them.

    Posted by ME. | July 27, 2011, 9:18 am
  30. WOW!!!!!!!! the shrink was a guy. This post had me glued, and i didn’t expect that outcome at all. I kept thinking, he’s never going to leave his wife. wow!

    Posted by Ivory Malinov | July 27, 2011, 9:18 am
  31. Well, while my bible tells me homosexuality is wrong, I don’t support treating gay people like any less human beings. I don’t support the practice but I have nothing against the people. Discrimination based on sexuality is just as bad as racism. On same-sex marraiges, I doubt it could be accepted in this society anytime soon.

    Posted by Ms_Anee | July 27, 2011, 9:18 am
  32. Hiaa!!! Personally,I think all Homosexuals shd be burnt alive #YeahISaidIt , but who am I to jugde? *Shrugs & walks away*

    Posted by BragginRightz | July 27, 2011, 9:19 am
  33. i love how people bring up God when it comes to homosexuality.

    if i recall, back in the day…once a girl had her period she was ready to be married off. “Holy men” didnt mind sleeping with little girls then…

    i will never understand why babes or guys choose to do what they do….. sha dont go bringing God into it.

    Posted by ShoWade | July 27, 2011, 9:19 am
  34. i think homosexuality is completely wrong, i would not condemn cos am not God but if any of my friends guys or girls comes out, i will try and talk to them. but come to think of it, if you can get involved in a threesome you might as well be bisexual #justsayin

    Posted by nycegurl | July 27, 2011, 9:19 am
  35. Buahahahaha! Tula was afraid to put it out there clearly!!!! I actually thot the debate thing was totally unrelated to the post!

    Posted by highlandblue | July 27, 2011, 9:20 am
  36. I’d say, never judge a person’s sexuality be it Homo-, Hetero-, Trans-, Metro- or Bi -…. Decide what you want to be and mind your own business! I know some peeps that have different sexual orientations to mine and they are some of the best peeps i’ve ever known! Your sexuality shd not be a subject of scorn and shame cos that is one of those things that define you as a person and shld never be intruded upon!

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | July 27, 2011, 9:21 am
  37. Wow,I was d 10th person to comment n I feel elated,tis d closest I ve got so far,tanx for d cheering me on.
    As for same sex marriage,all I can say is d world is rily coming to an end,and its sooner dan we expect it. Homosexuality is stupid n annoying n tink its devilish in my opinion bt @ d same time,d rate @ which ppl advocate n consent to it,u wud tink every1 is ok wit it,cos d clamour for Same Sex Marriages(SSM) far exceeds d refusal against it. I mean its nt so weird when the white pple consent n pass laws to this effect bt wen our very own African neighbour,SA passes a similar law legalising SSM ,then we know there is a big problem.Wow,I was d 10th person to comment n I feel elated,tis d closest I ve got so far,tanx for d cheering me on.
    As for same sex marriage,all I can say is d world is rily coming to an end,and its sooner dan we expect it. Homosexuality is stupid n annoying n tink its devilish in my opinion bt @ d same time,d rate @ which ppl advocate n consent to it,u wud tink every1 is ok wit it,cos d clamour for Same Sex Marriages(SSM) far exceeds d refusal against it. I mean its nt so weird when the white pple consent n pass laws to this effect bt wen our very own African neighbour,SA passes a similar law legalising SSM ,then we know there is a big problem.

    Posted by zoe | July 27, 2011, 9:22 am
  38. Live and let live. I have gay friends, bisexual friends and they are plenty happy. Most pple won’t bat an eye at a lesbian couple cos its sexy and pretty but the thought of two guys just seems gross. When in reality, homosexuality is homosexuality. Just do u and let them do them. As long as no one is tryna impose their sexuality or life choice on u. #NoH8. Peace.

    Posted by Adey | July 27, 2011, 9:22 am
  39. HOMOSEXUALS…….GAY….LESBIANS……QUEER……RILEY……WOTEVA IT IS CALLED……..¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯™.

    Everyman for himself…I aint got tym to judge or scrutinize any choice made by anyone…we shall all bear the responsibility for wotever action we take…..
    so ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯™

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 27, 2011, 9:23 am
  40. It’s hard to talk about homosexuality without looking like a hypocrite. I believe in free will and choice sha. People should do whatever they want, as long as they try not to rub it in everyone’s face.

    Posted by papyrusczar | July 27, 2011, 9:23 am
  41. And Tula, your stunt is unbalanced! How can a man who is dominated by a woman now become the dominant male in a gay relationship? I missed the gay thing cos I thot the “his mouth” was the Father’s mouth!

    It is weird! I ran from a woman, to marry a man. Are women that powerful? Buahahaha.

    Posted by highlandblue | July 27, 2011, 9:23 am
  42. Touchy Subject? Maybe, Maybe Not!… Converge, Engage and Converse at this sunday’s #TNC1… follow us on twitter: @thenakedconvos to win free tickets to the exclusive event and other freebies

    Posted by @thenakedconvos | July 27, 2011, 9:24 am
  43. Forth responses already..wailingg..hvnt even read sef wnted to be first

    Posted by me | July 27, 2011, 9:24 am
  44. Riley??? lmfaooo.. Riley don turn Sexual Orientation…

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | July 27, 2011, 9:25 am
  45. But if a person believes something is wrong because God says so, isn’t that their opinion? People debating issues have various standards by which the measure/resolve an issue. So why ‘leave God out of this’ if that is what they believe?

    Posted by jAyajade | July 27, 2011, 9:27 am
  46. I’m one of those people who would prolly remain mute on this topic. Why, you ask? Cos I’ll never know what its really like to be that kinda person.
    But I wanna pose this question to the homosexuals out there…
    Do you believe God created you to be attracted to your fellow men/women?

    Posted by no1chick | July 27, 2011, 9:29 am
  47. Though to be honest I find it easy to accept homosexuality now but as a parent I have no idea how I would accept my child saying he or she is gay.. And I don’t understand transexuals. That boggles my mind. as a human being I’m allowed to have different opinions about different things. I won’t go killing or beating on a she male tho. So regardless of how u feel about someone’s sexuality. Unless it directly affects ur life, let them do them.

    Posted by Adey | July 27, 2011, 9:29 am
  48. I knew this would come up. I actually did some research on this. Those were two absolutely different relationships. There’s a certain stereotype attached to physically built men in heterosexual relationships, this stereotype doesn’t necessarily extend to homosexual relationships. Some homosexual couples do not even know which of them is the ‘man’ in the relationship.

    Posted by thetoolsman | July 27, 2011, 9:31 am
  49. @ibetapassmynebo Riley?! LMAO!

    Posted by Ms_Anee | July 27, 2011, 9:32 am
  50. Aww….if he is happy then screw everyone else! Plus, why put a label on things sef? They just want 2be together, why judge? @thetoolsman…powerful twist.

    Posted by Cleo® | July 27, 2011, 9:32 am
  51. Homosexuality is a perversion. No matter how the west tries to make it seem normal, it isn’t. For the men, you can only have sex via the hole meant to release feaces. For the ladies, u have to seek for replica penises and co to get the satisfaction.
    That the gay community try as much as possible to make it seem normal won’t change my views about this.
    Parents have a responsibility to put their kids straight at a young age. No one was born gay. You chose to go astray. Like a horse that chose to stop eating hay and start feeding on clay. #enigmaBeats
    Nuff said!

    Posted by naijaninja101 | July 27, 2011, 9:32 am
  52. I think its funny how so many people will say “i don’t hate gays”, then turn around and say “but gays are xyz”, then turn around again and say “but i don’t know anyone who is gay” all in the same sentence. How can u say anything if you don’t even know anything about being homosexual? Nonsense.

    Anyhow, i think that this guy Gbenga was wrong all the way around. He was wrong for pursuing a relationship outside of his marriage, he was wrong for marrying the woman in the first place if he knew he was gay or even had doubts, and he definitely shouldn’t have been messing with his therapist (even though i guess that is more the therapist’s fault). There’s a whole crazy-long section in the ACA code of ethics against counselor-client relationships.

    And no, homosexuality is not a choice. Did you anyone here choose to be heterosexual?!? Its only a choice if you are lying to yourself. If you know you like the same sex, no amount of parading around and pretending to live a happy life with the opposite sex is going to change the fact that at the root of things, you are gay.

    Posted by Lady Ngo | July 27, 2011, 9:33 am
  53. Good luck getting ‘objective’ comments.

    I believe in human freedom, our civilization wouldn’t be possible otherwise. One aspect of this freedom is the right to hold opinions and associations that differ from the mainstream. Caveat though: you don’t go round persecuting, harming or killing people who hold differing views.

    That said, i believe homosexuality to be a sin. Sin. Like adultery. Like premarital sex. Like pedophilia. It won’t stop me from being friends with gay people, same way I’m friends with people who have premarital sex. I just try to be a really good friend, and pray for them.

    What annoys me though, is when ‘liberals’ claim that i’m not allowed to ‘judge’ or call it sin. Why ever not? I’m entitled to my opinion, aren’t i?

    Another thing, i don’t get what all the fuss is about same-sex marriage. There’s a hidden agenda here that bothers me. If two adults decide to go to a court and swear fidelity to each other and live thereafter in the same house, it’s their cup of tea, isn’t it? What exactly does this legislation do that wasn’t obtainable before?

    Posted by Osemhen | July 27, 2011, 9:34 am
  54. My goodness. She was a HE!!! Never woulda thought. Even when ‘she/he’ said they could never have kids, I still thought…. Oh well. Nice twist.
    Lmao at ‘his seeds would never germinate in her evil garden’

    Homosexuality. Everyone seems to be accepting it. Embracing it even. Don’t know why I’d ever ‘fall’ for a person of the same sex tho. For me opposites attract. In (almost) everyway. This aint an exception. Besides two girls = double drama. Hehe. I have enough of mine to deal wiv already.

    Its always hard to be objective on this topic tho. This is just me #justsaying.

    Posted by thatssodamie | July 27, 2011, 9:36 am
  55. *sigh*to say its touchy is an understatement but then,same sex marriage also applies to women so,would u prefer ur daughter to come home with another girl or ur son another man?cos in my view,if u can accept lesbians then gays shouldn’t be treated differently(God sees it as the same)
    Homosexuality is not something that starts suddenly;It just waits for the right trigger. If my son comes home with another man,I’ll prolly be the only one supporting him;might even help him look for states where he can get a license.
    I won’t do this cos I’m overly liberal but cos when people make choices,you either fall in line or you get out.

    Posted by georgeenah | July 27, 2011, 9:36 am
  56. Well, I think a person’s opinion on it depends on whether he/she is a Christian or religious in any way. Gay people will tell you they were born that way, but a Christian that believes in the bible will tell you that it is a sin, and every sin is a choice. I don’t think anybody can be born that way as there is no CONCRETE scientific evidence of that. Sex and marriage shd be between a man and a woman in order to procreate as God intended.
    I pray God have mercy on their souls

    Posted by BKNY | July 27, 2011, 9:36 am
  57. ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

    Posted by _dblack_ | July 27, 2011, 9:38 am
  58. I’m not being judgmental when I say Homosexuality is not okay. Its not normal. That would be against half of everything I believe in.
    But at the same time, somebody being Homo doesn’t make him/her any less of a human being. There’s nothing for me to say to you about that (if ure gay) but I will be praying for you.
    I won’t get into this. This debate cld go on for years, but yeah, in a nutshell, that’s my opinion. But nobody shld come around me saying they can’t help who they are attracted to. If its like that, bestiality mustnt be a crime. If a horse is on heat and a woman wants to help him out, she might as well then. Abi?
    Perverted. Not okay. That’s what it is.

    Posted by Yass | July 27, 2011, 9:38 am
  59. Sleeping with underage girls is not forbidden in the bible.
    *dont worry….i will wait for someone to quote a scripture where they say otherwise in the bible*

    but society has evolved and it is now frowned upon by “civilized” folks like you and I.

    Are u gonna tell me that 40 yr old men that sleep with 13 girls wont go to hell cause the bible didnt say otherwise???

    *now waiting*

    Posted by ShoWade | July 27, 2011, 9:39 am
  60. I see. I guess you’re right. I will let you off the hook just because of the flaw in my reasoning that only ladies go home and say Papa This is the man I want to marry. Perhaps one day I will go home too and say “Papa (or Mama LOL) this is the girl I want to marry!” So maybe he was the guy in the gay relationship anyway. OK. Now I can doff my hat. Well played.

    Posted by highlandblue | July 27, 2011, 9:39 am
  61. As early as when I was 10 years old, I had friends who were very effeminate in their mannerisms and behavior.
    At least 2 of 3 turned out to be gay. We are still good friends.

    Over the years,through secondary school and university, I watched these guys endure significant scorn, physical violence(sometimes), mockery and rejection.

    Today, they are very successful in their careers and are openly gay. I see them as winners.

    There is enough research to indicate that SOME people (male/female) are indeed born gay.

    The case of Semenya a South African Athlete is a good reference point —–> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caster_Semenya

    Sometimes, nature plays a cruel joke on us. I might be born with a dick but I think and feel like a chick & vice versa for chicks.
    Sometimes, nature screws up our physical body, other times, it is our mind/or hormones that it screws up.

    I stand tall and proud when I say “I am not homophobic”. I embrace gay people and say “thank goodness I don’t have to endure what they have to endure”

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 27, 2011, 9:40 am
  62. In addition, I agree with Adey. It might be hypocritical, but if my unborn son came home n told me he wanted to marry a dude, I’d probably ask God what I did to deserve that. x_x I guess it’s easier to accept other people but not as easy a pill to swallow when it directly affects you.

    Posted by Ms_Anee | July 27, 2011, 9:40 am
  63. I have a gay friend.. and he is an awesome person… I do not agree with his sexual orientation/practices… but would never condemn him for it.
    It is really hard for them… they have to deal with rejection and stigma, and people looking down their noses at them, just to be able to live their lives.
    I think people should be left alone to make decisions on who they feel they are (gay or straight or even bi) and if you don’t like it… well, you can just walk away.

    Posted by simmyLaLa | July 27, 2011, 9:41 am
  64. Your question takes it for granted that just because you are attracted to the opposite sex, everybody else should too.

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 27, 2011, 9:42 am
  65. Ths was unexpected. I rly dint see it comin! Lol!
    Its a sensitive issue but wats ryt is ryt & wat isn’t isn’t, its not judgin, its jus statin the obvious…

    Posted by Temmie | July 27, 2011, 9:43 am
  66. I knew it! I knew d shrink was gay! Well homosexuality, i find it vry ewwwww-y but agn hu am I to judge?

    Posted by Sonia | July 27, 2011, 9:43 am
  67. And again, life is too short and too hard enough as it is, people find happiness in different places. If the thought of two guys together doesn’t sit well with you, don’t think about it. And if you see them, close your eyes or look the other way…

    Posted by Cleo® | July 27, 2011, 9:44 am
  68. I don’t think homosexuality is right. Men and women are as different as night and day but we have something to learn from each other. I can’t judge what I don’t understand n truthfully, I really don’t want to understand it. To each their own.

    Posted by Jasmine | July 27, 2011, 9:44 am
  69. Hi-5!
    Very easily, our friends hide behind the bible when it suits them.
    Somebody says because of my religious belief, I think homosexuality is wrong yet conveniently goes on to watch lesbian porn and fornicates with girlfriend.

    FUCKTARDS is what I call them.

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 27, 2011, 9:46 am
  70. The subject is even more touchy in our African society as many countries here still view it as a taboo. . . My cousin (guy) is gay and proud, married (to a guy) and lives here in naija. . im not sure how i feel about homosexuality in general but i luv my cousin regardless. .

    just a thought. . it would appear that financial means may be directly proportional to the success of a gay marriage in naija . .

    Posted by hmmm... | July 27, 2011, 9:47 am
  71. very touchy subject. but i detest the concept of being gay with everything thats in me. the thought is so abhorrent. I shudder. especially when i imagine 2 guys together, doing the nasty… its so unnatural and seems demonic.. i get more traumatised when i hear of two guys being in love.. i feel like i can feel the devil just walking past..

    I watched brokeback mountain and for days i had to pray for God to take back possession of my mind.. the actors were so good that i cld literarily feel the love between them through my laptop screen.
    Marriage was designed to be between a man and a woman, … and a man shall leave his parents and be joined to his wife and they become one… etc (i hope i got it right)…. and most importantly, they should procreate. please how will two men or two women come together and procreate? if at all they want to have children, they’ll still need to be with a member of the opposite sex or at least get sperm from a man (in d case of lesbians)…

    Dont get me wrong, i dont hate gay men or lesbians , i just hate what being gay entails. once again its unnatural especially for the men. .. men are supposed to be perceived as strong especially in mind. and a situation when a man is being made a bitch by a fellow man (guess there has to be a bitch in a gay relationship. someone has to take it in right?), the picture just dont sit right mehnnnnn…

    in summary, its unnatural…lemme stop here for now

    Posted by Domina | July 27, 2011, 9:47 am
  72. 13 yr old*

    Posted by ShoWade | July 27, 2011, 9:48 am
  73. As far as I know, the same sex union issue has sparked lots of reactions from all over.its a touchy phenom which we have to face and deal with as it affects us directly and indirectly. The formation,structure and dictates of our lives(society) is totally not in support of homosexuality as a way of life.Irrespective of the fact that it has come to stay,and thanks(or no thanks) to accelerated westernization of everything that bothers on our life as of this day. It is only in the best interest of civil living, that we respect people’s choices. We can’t walk in another person’s shoes and we aren’t all the same.so however we have all evolved should be put to good use and be maximized for the overall good of life…SHIKENA!

    Posted by atinuke | July 27, 2011, 9:49 am
  74. Erm, if a guy falls in love with his sister, is he allowed to marry her ?

    Posted by Domina | July 27, 2011, 9:50 am
  75. I’m not being judgmental when I say Homosexuality is not okay. Its not normal. That would be against half of everything I believe in.
    But at the same time, somebody being Homo doesn’t make him/her any less of a human being. There’s nothing for me to say to you about that (if ure gay) but I will be praying for you.
    I won’t get into this. This debate cld go on for years, but yeah, in a nutshell, that’s my opinion.

    ShoWade, yes people could bring God into this. Its good to be open-minded, but our opinions are informed by our values, our experiences, our upbringing.
    It is almost impossible to talk about sexuality without mentioning religion (if you have one, that is)

    Posted by Yass | July 27, 2011, 9:52 am
  76. Firstly, LMAO at thee evil garden statement!!

    I have no problems with homosexuality. I just always wonder if aanal isn’t a taad bit uncomfortable. I asked some of my male gay friends, and they said you get used to it. So, *shrug*

    Err, everybody has the right to subject themselves to a life of torture with whoever they feel they love (marriage).

    For all those who will say homosexuality is a sin, please bear in mind that stealing, lying, fornication, adultery, and disobedience are also sins. I know some people will come hear and say homosexuality is a greater sin. Please know now that you are wrong. And lso that if you see a girl/guy walk paast and have those thoughts (you know the ones) about him or her, you have sinned already (read the bible).

    Okau that’s all. No! Wait! Lemme now ask here. Why do guys thinks gay females are cool but gay males are gay? Please hit me up on twitter with a logical answer. Might not be able to revisit this page for aa while.

    Cece out!!

    Posted by cecenostockings | July 27, 2011, 9:53 am
  77. do you believe God created you to fornicate? or commit adultery? or lie or steal? or kill? or commit any of the acts which are put down in the Holy book as sins?

    Fact is, and even the Bible says this; “all sins are equal in the eyes of God” so leave God out of it then we can have a conversation.

    Posted by Chinny (@chinnydiva) | July 27, 2011, 9:54 am
  78. If you are going to stand behind the bible/religion to make a point, then I am gonna tell you to your face, YOU DON”T HAVE A FUCKING OPINION. I might as well have taken a position on something and said “because my daddy said so” If I did that, would I sound enlightened to you? I think not.To keep the conversation at an intellectual level, we need to try to keep unverifiable facts(e.g Bible) /emotions away from the table.

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 27, 2011, 9:54 am
  79. Well, as long as it makes them happy, I guess its ok. I don’t think I can ever understand same sex attraction tho. Like as I finished reading dis, I saw a couple of my hot female colleagues and I was wondering wat wud make one give dat up for a fellow man. But I guess dats part of wat makes us individuals.

    Posted by tobicomm | July 27, 2011, 9:54 am
  80. Forgive the typos. In a bit of a hurry.

    Posted by cecenostockings | July 27, 2011, 9:55 am
  81. I totally agree with you.

    If homosexuals are going to hell, then so are all of who fornicate and watch lesbian porn

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 27, 2011, 9:56 am
  82. you are a fag. oya deny

    Posted by abdullahi | July 27, 2011, 9:56 am
  83. Nope, that’s not what I’m saying. A lot of people would argue they were born homosexuals..i just wanna know if they believe it. Like I said, I won’t judge becos I dont understand it.

    Posted by no1chick | July 27, 2011, 9:58 am
  84. It is defiantly wrong but if they want to do it, that’s their business! If it comes to accepting them as my friends, honestly I don’t know if I will be able to do so.

    Posted by d3ola | July 27, 2011, 9:59 am
  85. mae wannaan? ba na so iri wanna barazana fa…. is this a rhetorical kweshun!?

    Posted by abdullahi | July 27, 2011, 9:59 am
  86. So nobody congratulated me on my first position? *agama lizard nodding* Well, like the proverbial lizard that jumped from the iroko tree when no one was watching to clap for him, I nod my head, clap for myself, and move on. 😀

    Posted by highlandblue | July 27, 2011, 10:00 am
  87. you too, are a fag… maukachi!

    Posted by abdullahi | July 27, 2011, 10:00 am
  88. First time I am reading your blog and I really loved it. I ask myself very simple questions why didn’t God create 2 Men or 2 women? why would I want to be attracted to someone with the same privates as mine? It just doesn’t follow. this time last year, I would have gone It is a sin blah blah blah. but I have come to understand It is a
    personal race. I cannot enforce my own principles on other people. I believe it is perverse so I wouldn’t even try It but that doesn’t mean I would hate on someone who is.

    Posted by Fjb | July 27, 2011, 10:01 am
  89. I’m not debating whether Metuselah’s brother married Vashti’s baby cousin twice removed. My point is don’t berate a person’s argument because they use the bible as their defence.

    Posted by jAyajade | July 27, 2011, 10:04 am
  90. Didnt expect that end…lol..NICE ONE Tools and Fshaw… i have no problem with homosexuality…everyone is entitled to their own sexual orientation. i actually do want a gay friend. 😀
    Interesting comments tho, Lagos hunter is always on point..

    Posted by dammydiva | July 27, 2011, 10:05 am
  91. wait, make una reasin dis matter, imagine say u catch 2 boys de fuck!… ow u go react as a standard guy man!? con imagine say u see two babes de gbensh…. u noe go join dem!? see eh, based on my big name, i believe say man wey de fuck man need jesus, mary and joseph.. ow guy man like me go see anada guy man de trip for am. i de maad!? reason the matter…. abeg, who de my tinking?

    Posted by akpos | July 27, 2011, 10:08 am
  92. I know it would probably be hard to deliberate on this without bring religion in, but can we take a moment to think about this. Imagine if this world came with no religion, and thus no pre-conceived notions of right and wrong.

    I believe the most important thing is striving to leave a good life, and by this I mean being good to people around you. Being homosexual or not doesn’t remove from this.

    If being with a man or woman brings you the happiness and peace of mind you so desire, then why the hell not?

    In regards to the sex, I would assume taking it up the ass should be more painful than pleasurable, but hey what do I know?

    Only a man, truly knows how to pleasure a man and vice versa. I know a number of guys who have openly admitted that the best blowjob they ever got was from a man, and we’ve all heard girls give mean heads.

    So search yourselves, could your vehement opposition against homosexuality be a cover for deep rooted gay tendencies you wish to keep secret?

    Fancy.

    Posted by Chinny (@chinnydiva) | July 27, 2011, 10:10 am
  93. Love is so hard to find in this world of ours so when someone finds it and is sure of it I congratulate them, because I dontt think it matters who itt is you fall for as long as you are happy. Life is too short to deny who you are so society won’t deny you. If there is a problem you and God will sort it when you meet. But then again Nigeria is at least ten steps behind on such things

    Posted by perfect imperfectionist | July 27, 2011, 10:11 am
  94. Hmmmnnn I personally dnt av any problem with gay people, homosexuality is a sin, lying ,even cheating in ur exam is wrong(but we all do it), sex b4 marriage is wrong, stealing,killing,lust,wild partying, getting drunk, etc… Are all sins, d bible says let him without sin be d first to cast a stone… If u steal 5naira from som1 its still a sin, so let’s be careful how we judge others.. We are all sinners…

    Posted by oyinkan | July 27, 2011, 10:12 am
  95. i love you…. shae u de single… ?

    Posted by akpos | July 27, 2011, 10:13 am
  96. we should all be careful what we condone. before we start preaching freedom, imagine a situation where a woman finds out her husband is bisexual (secretly gay ) and he had been having secret affairs with men and boys and to top it all, he gets aids and transfers it to his wife. I’m sure such woman wont preach freedom of sexuality.

    these things have far reaching consequences. whether we like it or not, future generations will suffer gravely if we legalise this act… Even the nature versus nurture argument will go in favour of nurture… cos it will become a fad and kids, people will develop gay tendencies involuntarily. without consciously knowing it. it will be a trend, an acceptable trend… afterall celebs are doing it,both male and female., hollywood sensationalizes it.more and more movies are being made about it.. infact gay sex was made to look sexy in brokeback mountain OMG its endless…….imagine the influence America and its culture has on the world…..

    I shudder. lemme stop here…

    Posted by Domina | July 27, 2011, 10:13 am
  97. Thank you!!!Just cos its not straffing a guy or necromania(sex with corpses) doesn’t make it any worse.Sin na sin;don’t get holier than thou cos when rapture happens,same lo ma je(would be grouped together)

    Posted by georgeenah | July 27, 2011, 10:14 am
  98. Been a while I’ve commented on here…jinx broken!

    Posted by keLvin | July 27, 2011, 10:15 am
  99. yes they are

    Posted by Domina | July 27, 2011, 10:17 am
  100. Okay. This is one subject that We will openly admit to being a hypocrite about. Feel free to judge us.

    We don’t believe that anyone is created gay. We believe It is a choice like any other and brought upon by environment, interests and experiences. Based on that, we do not support Gay marriage but we cannot in clear conscience argue against the right of people to do whatever they wish. If they choose to marry, let them. Everyone has rights but We, personally cannot support them.

    Posted by THINKTANK | July 27, 2011, 10:18 am
  101. oshe! i shudder with you!

    Posted by StandupChic | July 27, 2011, 10:19 am
  102. is dis a comment…. no de form jor… with ur funny attitude

    Posted by akpos | July 27, 2011, 10:20 am
  103. Hope you know that he could have also slept with women and have gotten aids and transferred it to his wife … Aids is just restricted to gay people who know …

    I don’t think Hollywood sensationalizes it, I think they are just showing different sides of the issue. Also, people are just saying allow them to be who they want to be, not ‘accept it by force by force’. If you don’t like it, fine! I’m just saying there are so many other issues and ‘sins’ that are being done and no1 looks down at that.

    Your talking about America and cultural influence. That boat sailed a looooong time ago What are you wearing? Surely your not topless with wrapper on you waist.

    I’m done.

    Posted by d3ola | July 27, 2011, 10:23 am
  104. The bible says in Lev 20:12 that “If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination”
    It is true that one sin is no more or less offensive to God than another
    but the issue here is dat dese homosexuals don’t see any thing wrong in what they are doing.the Bible listed all the sins: adultery, fornication, pre -marital sex, theft, lying, idolatry, homosexuality and goes further to say
    “Any who participates in these sinful behaviors and fails to confess, in broken repentance,these sins before Almighty God will be excluded from heaven”
    I’m homophobic but i always pray that before the end comes for them, God shd have mercy on them and open their heart for them to repent.

    We r all claiming we r homophobic, i think we shd take it upon ourselves to constantly pray for them because it profits a man nothing to gain the whole world and face eternal damnation

    Posted by Bukiola | July 27, 2011, 10:23 am
  105. Toolsman, I see you’re trying to give this ikebe super blog a face-lift.

    @LagosHunter: You my friend are a fucktard + moron. How did you form your opinions? Are they not based on the things you’ve read & seen? Everyone is entitled to draw their opinions from whatever source: the bible, quran or your fucking wikipedia which you have done here.

    Let me give you a twisted scenario, imagine your wifey dumps you for a girl. Yea, where’s your dick & ego now?

    Posted by PreyingMantis | July 27, 2011, 10:23 am
  106. Buahahahaha!!! We do not support them. LOL. ThinkTank is bipolar now O. You people should book the nearest clinic for him!

    Posted by highlandblue | July 27, 2011, 10:23 am
  107. ABSOLUTELY!!!

    Posted by kiah | July 27, 2011, 10:23 am
  108. Babe, I could kiss you right now for this!

    Posted by d3ola | July 27, 2011, 10:25 am
  109. Mistake .. I meant Aids ISNT restricted to gay people

    Posted by d3ola | July 27, 2011, 10:26 am
  110. I shy away from this topic every freaking time. I had to room with a Lesbian recently and i said no. Does that make me homophobic? Maybe, maybe not.
    The Bible commands us to love…there was no ‘but’ or ‘if’ in that commandment. I will not condone homosexuality but i will not hate an homosexual either. God help me.

    Posted by kiah | July 27, 2011, 10:28 am
  111. Ok, let me lay it down like this

    The shrink was prolly gay from birth and has embraced it but the other guy was married to a woman for however long and suddenly he wants to try the ‘gay-lane’ to find happiness. This is one of the things the society sees and won’t accept homosexuality becos it comes out like its a joke.
    So I ask again…
    Do they believe they were created gay? ( This time without ‘God’ so you can tone down the barks)

    Posted by no1chick | July 27, 2011, 10:29 am
  112. congrats! To whom do u dedicate this First-Comment Plaque?

    Posted by MsBukonla | July 27, 2011, 10:31 am
  113. dis preyingmantis dude doe…common do u rili need to curse anyone out?????its his opinion, give urs nd ex na….kilode??? always criticizing the blog, err mate if d blog is so shit,den y do u read every blogpost and comment tho???

    Posted by MzLucyM | July 27, 2011, 10:31 am
  114. LH, abeg…chop knuckle

    i am not berating anyone’s argument. i just want them to stop being two-faced with that BS with “cos the bible says its wrong”

    This blog is wrong while we are at it then….cos the bible says so. ( everyday una dey set P thru this blog…begin have pre-marital sex….we all going to hell then )

    Posted by ShoWade | July 27, 2011, 10:33 am
  115. first off, you are a colossal douche bag and if u have balls reveal your twitter handle, secondly, your iq is minus forty, thirdly, you are a reason they invented the word liliputian….. and fortly. all your comments are soporific’

    Posted by @gaustus | July 27, 2011, 10:35 am
  116. WoooooW!! I’m not against openly gay people we live in a free world afterall…I cant say what my reaction would be if my daughter tells me she’s gay tho… I’ve always wondered how children who grow up with gay parents feel sha…anyway all that is beside the point. Nobody noticed that Gbenga’s wife pushed him outside (yes) it just happened that the affair was with a man. In my opinion, Gbenga was gay from the word go but stifled those feelings because of a fear of what society would say…It’s better to come out rather than endure a horrible heterosexual relationship cuz of society… this post got me thinking…

    Posted by Chinelonma | July 27, 2011, 10:36 am
  117. The gay talk….i blame both d wife n d husband.if she had touchd d husband in places dt wud mak him go in awe,he wunt hv turnd gay…..n if d husband had fuckd her bad,leavin her weak…she wunt b d man of d house…
    Aside dat,bein gay is wrong mhen,wat is bad is bad,jus as masturbation n fornication….bet stil whu r u 2 judge,if i knw ur gay,i wud accept u…

    Posted by Blondie | July 27, 2011, 10:38 am
  118. I think homophobia is just a bullshit…what are you scared of? If two guys decide that they want to be together, how is it your business? That is bravery, plain and simple. A trait most of these “hollier than thou” people lack.

    Don’t judge what you don’t understand.

    I love this post…

    Posted by Cleo® | July 27, 2011, 10:40 am
  119. lol…stories abound of people who were heterosexual and circumstances led them to discover their gay side.

    Is anybody even created heterosexual? It is the environment you are born into which really shapes your sexual orientation. For instance, assume you were born into a gay community where same sex relationships and marriages were the norm, is it not natural that you would gravitate towards it? although this is just one of the many reasons people become homosexual.

    I understand your confusion and cluelessness as regards homosexuality, but until you have actually been there or tried to be friends with people who are, it would seem to you like one big joke.

    Posted by Chinny (@chinnydiva) | July 27, 2011, 10:40 am
  120. God loves us all, the homosexuals, fornicators, adulters, theives and cheats. We are his children regardless.

    I believe marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman but it is hard enuff as it is, if u want to marry ur fellow man or woman go ahead. I have no prejudice but I wouldn’t want to be the child in that union, that’s some twisted shit

    Posted by Meyer Lansky | July 27, 2011, 10:40 am
  121. it shouldnt be legalized. period… a sin is a sin. fornication, adultery, stealling, corruption etc are all sins. though they have become accepted as a way of life. they are not frowned upon. they are accepted and so they became or have now become a way of life. slowly, being gay is becoming a way of life. and legalizing it means we should accept it by force by force and whether u like it or not. future kids will grow up tinking its normal, the coming generations will grow up confused,, very confused, and yes, because the big power countries accept, soon all other states and subsequently countriess will accept it.

    slowly but surely it will become a way of life. like indiscriminate sex, multiple partners etc… but fundamentally these things are wrong… no one condemns it , so its a way of life.

    once again, i dont hate on d people themselves, just that it shouldnt be legalized thereby making it free for all….no moral boundaries…..

    Posted by Domina | July 27, 2011, 10:41 am
  122. Thank you for this. And choices should be treated as choices. If I decide to marry an old man for money, its a choice I’ve made..I wasn’t born with the old man genome. So if society should frown at my decision, I best be ready to live with it. All this talk that they were born gay is what I feel like smacking someone when they say that.

    Posted by no1chick | July 27, 2011, 10:42 am
  123. Show me a queer goat,sheep, or cow, then I’ll try to believe that being gay is sorta natural. In the absence of this I’m fuckn homophobic.

    Posted by uyi | July 27, 2011, 10:44 am
  124. they dont use condoms do they? so they are at a higher risk.

    Posted by Domina | July 27, 2011, 10:44 am
  125. OK.. This is one topic where people would want to prove or sound objective, just so they can be termed ‘open minded’.. I’m not condemning anybody’s views or beliefs, so forgive me in advance if I do.

    We all can’t agree on religion, beliefs, views, environmental balances and the likes because we are all different. but one thing we all can agree on is NATURE.

    homosexuality is not natural. I’m not saying it is wrong or right.. I’m just saying it is against nature.
    no one was created gay.

    The human genitalia was made specifically for male/female activity.. not male/male or otherwise.
    Animals like goats, dogs, lions are not in any way homosexual. They didn’t learn to choose the opposite gender to mate with, nature told them. nature taught them a male dog should mate with a female dog.

    Homosexuality is unnatural… now you decide if it is right or wrong.

    Posted by iam_dQ | July 27, 2011, 10:46 am
  126. Dear Ma’am, about ur anger… u r totally entitled to ur opinion… it’s ur right… but never force it on others or let ur opinion drive you to publicly scorn or cause emotional distress to another… that’s what liberals are saying… nothing more… 😉

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | July 27, 2011, 10:49 am
  127. For the religious minded,the Bible actually condemns Adultery and Fornication,more than it talks about/condemns Homosexuality.

    Posted by anonymusT | July 27, 2011, 10:50 am
  128. My beliefs:

    1. Homosexuality isn’t a choice. Some are born left-handed, some are born gay
    2. It is idiotic to be ‘okay’ with gay girls but repulsed by gay men.
    3. There is no rationale for legislating against gay marriage. If the rationale is based in religion- then unmarried couples should be prevented from co-habiting/having sex. If the rationale is based on a ‘preservation of the institution of marriage’ then we should lock people up when they break their marriage vows/make divorces harder to get or impossible.
    4.Homosexuality is explicitly stated as being a sin in the Bible, along with a lot of other things, some of which we ‘modern’ Christians have now decided are okay.
    5. The Bible also says all sins are equal. Therefore Christians who close their eyes to thieving politicians, cheating pastors, pre-marital sex, and pedophilia amongst clergy but are quick to mourn the lost souls of/ reign curses on the heads of homosexuals are irrational and hypocrites.
    6.Suppression/homophobia/discrimination helps no one. Yes, homosexual males have a higher rate of STDs. Part of the reason is physical i.e. condoms are more likely to split in the anal passage but it is also because society forces gay men to hide what they are. The result is furtive often unprotected sex with strangers….and the participants return to their ‘acceptable’ families and spread the disease around.
    7. We all have a right to our beliefs. We also have a right to be who we are, so long as doing so doesn’t hurt anyone else.

    Posted by Mia Farraday | July 27, 2011, 10:51 am
  129. Homosexuals actually do use condoms.

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 27, 2011, 10:52 am
  130. ‘Its the environment you’re born into that shapes you'<—- you do know that this is a poor excuse to do whateverr.
    If R-kelly was born into a family where they preferred sex with little girls, would it be acceptable for him to go on being a paedophile? Its a choice and we are a product of the choices we make.

    Posted by no1chick | July 27, 2011, 10:53 am
  131. All the things you have listed are only sins because the bible says so….Yes? No?

    Why is it so hard to keep God/Bible out of discussions??????????????????

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 27, 2011, 10:54 am
  132. #wahaladey!!! lmaoooo.. i think @prayingmantis has a crush on this blog… no probs, tho’… it’s allowed

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | July 27, 2011, 10:55 am
  133. And it’s really that simple. Justify it all you want but every action s a choice, the choice to have pre-marital sex, have an abortion,go bungee jumping, or become a homosexual. And for every choice, there are consequences.

    I really think it’s un-natural, I always did and I still do, same way I feel about lesbians. I’m sorry it’s just the way I feel and I won’t conform simply because it’s gradually becomming acceptable. But like everyone else, gay people need love.I won’t judge anyone because of their sexual preferences but I personally don’t accept it.

    Posted by awizii | July 27, 2011, 10:57 am
  134. I’m a straight dude in a healthy sexual relationship with my girlfriend,but I’ve had fantasies about giving blow-jobs to dudes(I’ve never acted on then btw).I can support gay informal partnerships but gay marriage as per two men going to a church to wed and excange ringss???Nah,marriage is too sacred,let’s just leave it for the heterosexuals.Double standards,I know *shrug*

    Posted by anonymusT | July 27, 2011, 10:57 am
  135. to look at an issue such as this “objectively” is not exactly possible.
    our perspectives as people are formed, either by religious or cultural guidelines.
    its sad that some persons here feel insulting what people believe makes them “modern” or whatever. intolerance of peoples opinions right here is you displaying Ur own sentiments on the issue. so even you are not being objective.
    in Nigeria, homosexuality is a thing that is not accepted by any religion. Muslim, christian or traditional worshipers.

    the bible doesn’t hold a noose over Ur neck that says believe me or die. it is for you to take it or leave it. ur criticism of the contents of it does not change the format of its instructions. try not to be so angry at it. it isnt the source of your problems please and a little respect for it would not cause u a stroke. u talk about religious intolerance, have u displayed tolerance yourself by throwing cusses on here? you cannot use one wrong to excuse another..

    this man seems to me to be very confused. its obvious he has personality issues. the shrink makes it look like he isn’t unbalanced because he laughs at his jokes, trying to tell us that he had the ability to be warm and trusting and ol that? human beings love to be listened to and understood, by anyone. if a lady had picked him up that night and shown him the same care, do u think his reaction would have been different? it might have taken some convincing, but he’d eventually have warmed up to her is what i think. He had a shattered ego obviously and this must have created some psychological strain for him, confusing his brainwaves. He NEEDS therapy, from a FEMALE therapist. lets see how that goes then we’ll know if he was truly “born that way”.

    Posted by nuttyqama | July 27, 2011, 10:57 am
  136. Wow! Very touchy subject indeed…
    If a hard bum is what rocks your world, good for u. Ill rather have a gay friend who’s true that a straight friend who sucks…
    #teamleslie

    Posted by DL | July 27, 2011, 10:57 am
  137. hmmmn, muc has been said. Here’s ma opinion.
    Gay is not okay! Shoot me afterwards bt hear me nw. Being born gay…..possible, bt we hv2agree dat just like siamese twins conjured at awkward n dangerous positions, they hv2b helped. Spirituali or psycologicaly, its left2dem.
    ….come on, dis stuff (act) is not2b condonnd, note act nt people, if we decide2have gays as friends, d aim shld b2help dem not encourage d act…..
    Lets evn b realistic 4a moment, if d law is enforcd, hw will d toilets at d eatries n bars b labled, since all guys cnt b usin d same toilet, then dey’ll be gay((male), guy in relatnshp), then gay ((male), female), then male!?@#’*…….dats preety messd up…..
    Nw shoot me,…..watergun pls :-)is not okay! Shoot me afterwards bt hear me nw. Being born gay…..possible, bt we hv2agree dat just like siamese twins conjured at awkward n dangerous positions, they hv2b helped. Spirituali or psycologicaly, its left2dem.
    ….come on, dis stuff (act) is not2b condonnd, note act nt people, if we decide2have gays as friends, d aim shld b2help dem not encourage d act…..
    Lets evn b realistic 4a

    Posted by A.D | July 27, 2011, 10:57 am
  138. Whether we like it or not,a time will come when homosexuality would become legal.The motion for it was actually started but there was a huge outcry.I cringe when I think of anal sex(male and female) but if it brings u happiness,by all means indulge.
    Our generation sadly,has passed the “put a lid on it” mark and the next would be worse.

    Posted by georgeenah | July 27, 2011, 11:00 am
  139. No one is born Gay. It is unnatural. If everyone becomes gay, where will babies come from???. It’s very very wrong. Stop justifying It by comparing it to other sins. I know sin of any nature leads to same eternal damnation, but how will mother nature feel?? What of the gift of procreation?? It is wrong!!! #SHIKENA

    Posted by charles legend | July 27, 2011, 11:00 am
  140. Some animals are homosexual.

    I think it’s fair to say that human genitalia was made with the clear intention that procreation should be via male/female sex. However, sex isn’t just about procreation- it’s also about pleasure.

    Men have prostrates in their anal passages, which when stimulated, causes immense pleasure. Which begs the question, if the male passage was never meant to be penetrated, if it is unnatural to do so, why is the prostrate there? Why is it possible for men to orgasm solely from the receipt of prostrate massage/anal sex?

    Posted by Mia Farraday | July 27, 2011, 11:03 am
  141. I loved the story
    I’m all about gay pride
    I have gay friends and I don’t tolerate gay slander around me

    Posted by creamandcoffee | July 27, 2011, 11:04 am
  142. If you are born wiv a dick and u feel like a chick or vice versa….u need therapy!! I’m not saying we don’t get 2 wish once in a while dat we were boys/girls, buh being on dat permanently dats jus wrong. According to the bible Homosexuality is indeed a sin, alongside witchcraft and so on. Yes sin is sin, buh just cos we have sex outside marriage don’t make it right, it’s still a sin, therefore homosexuality is wrong. If God wanted you to have feelings 2wards the same sex, wen he created adam, he wud have created Adamu and Eve as well. Yes we all have gay friends and we are happy they are happy as long as they don’t try to force their sexuality on us. Do we condone stealing/ witchcraft?? No, then the same fate shud be applied to homosexuality.I have this gay friend and I love him 2 pieces, he’s dress sense is amazing and he’s jus 2 chilld. My opinion still remains the same. it’s WRONG!!!!

    Posted by ms_stephydiva | July 27, 2011, 11:09 am
  143. Suddenly everybody is an expert…..shior!

    Posted by MiniTeddyBear | July 27, 2011, 11:11 am
  144. cos it is neccessary to keep us in check… imagine a world where everyone is free to do as they like? a world without boundaries… biblical or moral or otherwise….. utter chaos and insanity….

    some of the above named things are purely selfish acts and in one way or the other hurt a fellow human being.. the immediate consequences of such actions bring hurt to at least one person… so, bible aside for a moment, imagine if we all went about acting without boundaries and carrying out every selfish impulse we feel. cos truly we all have them…. the difference here is control. in one form or the oda…at least for sanity sake.
    my two cents. that will be all for now before my manager gives me a query

    Posted by Domina | July 27, 2011, 11:15 am
  145. I

    Posted by Me | July 27, 2011, 11:15 am
  146. It’s so sad I can’t really follow this thread cause of work. People have been asking for my opinion so I’ll tell you this. I really don’t think it’s our place to judge. I also really didn’t think we could talk about this without bringing in religion to it but call the bible scholars and for every argument you make against, they can argue for. Yes, it’s clearly stated in the bible but then again, as Christian’s aren’t we expected to tolerate the faults in other people? You might argue that they are not directly comparable but if you tolerate one persons excessive smoking habit, why can’t you tolerate another’s decision to be homosexual. Also, we seem to forget in this part of the world, that a lot of other religions exist outside Christianity. I’d really like to know what the Mormons think about this.

    As to whether people are born gay or not, lets not mix up physical complications with psychological ones. I’m no medical whizkid or whatever but I think a child’s mind is very subjective to alterations based on whatever environment the child grows. If you keep telling a baby it’s a dog while he/she grows and making it walk on fours, it will probably grow up to think he/she is one. Yes? No?

    Finally, I’d like to say for all of us too quick to take a position. It’s easy to say you’re for or against when it hasn’t hit close to home. Fortunately/unfortunately for me, it hasn’t. Till then, I will continue to tolerate homosexual people.

    Posted by thetoolsman | July 27, 2011, 11:16 am
  147. Un-fucking -believable! Homosexuality? that’s what’s riling you lot up? Of what benefit is it exactly to discuss this topic. I can see tula’s roped you all into this daily cocktail party on a regular basis. All of you spitting your thoughts with out ever going away with any new lessons learned.
    Of what bloody economic importance is this argument here? @LagosHunter; you want to turn yourself into Optomus Prime and destroy all abi, sorry for you. You made valid points though, I’d give you that much credit.
    Lets all just be honest and not try and form being liberal.
    Most of us were brought up in religious or very traditional homes, and we have all been made to understand that emotions and intercourse is primarily associated with the man and his wife. The abnormality (yes i call it that) that is homosexuality is an unfortunate aggregation/by product of the evolution of our specie. Just like you have normal kids and the ones with down syndrome that usually pop up here and there. We can not say there is a cure, because by all standards these people have their mental faculties performing at least on an average level, so we can do nothing but accept them.
    This, i believe should not in any way allow us jettison our moral backbones and beliefs and accept these behavioral patterns as normal. It is what it is, an anomaly. Homosexuals require love and care, they should not be stigmatized nor judged but what they are is not just right. i am not saying that the strong feelings between two people of the same sex is abnormal, but it is the attempt to consummate or derive pleasure from sexual intercourse that is disturbing. No one needs a manual to tell a guy where to stick his penis into when he sees a woman. But making a case for but-fucking another man or a cunnilingus fest is down right depraved.

    That is all.

    Posted by Webber | July 27, 2011, 11:17 am
  148. @domina pls TELL them! well said!

    Posted by alex | July 27, 2011, 11:17 am
  149. “Papa, this is the man I love and want to marry.”… These words sent a shiver down my spine. #Sigh…. I really do not have anything objective or subjective to say on the subject matter, so i’ll watch from the background and get insights from the contributors.

    Posted by crystalclearwords | July 27, 2011, 11:17 am
  150. Who’s debating that being homosexual isn’t a choice? If it weren’t that would be rape, no? I was responding to your question of whether people are created gay. And talking about acceptability, acceptability by whom exactly? society? isn’t that what brought about this post and the subsequent debate in the first place?

    people tend to accept things or events which they perceive is normal, again based on pre-conceived notions.

    2 things:

    your sexual orientation is always a choice; nobody was born having sex(no pun intended)
    it’s okay for you to reject homosexuality, just the same way it’s okay for another to embrace it. Doesn’t make it right or wrong.

    Posted by Chinny (@chinnydiva) | July 27, 2011, 11:18 am
  151. I will politely put this comment down to ‘You have never become so familiar with any gay person that you were convinced that he/she was born gay’ I have .

    We have living examples walking past us everyday, a chick looks so masculine and you think she does feel masculine too? Ditto for the guys?

    Do you have any idea how badly the wrong amount of certain hormones in our body can do to mess up our minds?

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 27, 2011, 11:19 am
  152. hmmm… your first paragraph was quite insulting to the sensibilities of the thousands who read this blog and openly express their opinions but like yousaid, we will consider forgiving you.

    By the way,even animals have been proven to exhibit homosexual tendencies… so are those un-natural circumstances too… cos something is not common does not make it unnatural

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | July 27, 2011, 11:27 am
  153. i am not homophobic! Gay people r interesting to me! however, we all know how appalling the idea is to our society. (most of it anyway). i feel if u wanna be gay, don’t expect people to be cool with it.

    Bless the heart of the woman who finds out her husband is cheating on her ,WITH A MAN, i don’t care if she is a WITCH, that is fucked up!

    Posted by StandupChic | July 27, 2011, 11:29 am
  154. The real question shud be “what would you do if your Kid came up to you and say Dad/Mom I’m gay”??? Search yourself and answer truly!

    Posted by ms_stephydiva | July 27, 2011, 11:33 am
  155. Your 2nd sentence gave the answer before you asked the question.

    Posted by georgeenah | July 27, 2011, 11:45 am
  156. I do not support homosexuality, personally. That however does not mean I dislike or hate homosexuals. Gay bashing is wrong, every1 is entitled to their own opinions n nobody shld be allowed to impose theirs on others.
    I do not like pap, truth be told I hate it but does dat make people dat take pap demonic or retarded or second class citizens? Does dat give me d ryte 2 look down on them? NO!!!!
    Judging sum1 based on their sexual orientation is wrong. Sexuality is not the dividing line between good n evil. Being gay doesn’t turn any1 in2 a child murdering psycho just like being straight never stopped any1 from turning in2 a serial killer.
    As long as u r not gettin forced to have sex with dem or watch dem screw each oda it really is none of ur business n u hv no ryte wat so eva 2 judge dem.
    Doesn’t mean u hv 2 like it, just means your opinion is YOUR opinion n dey r people just like U. So judge people based on their character n not who dey love.

    Posted by Pero | July 27, 2011, 11:48 am
  157. Oh no u didn’t!! Wait o! Abeg who go hold my wrapper?! My earrings! My slippers! Infact hold me sef! @toolsman giving this ikebe super blog a facelift? @lagoshunter a moron??? I take offence on their behalfs.

    Posted by typicallywoman | July 27, 2011, 11:50 am
  158. All these controversial topics never raise the hair on my neck. Sm1 once said that even if we were all d same sex, tribe or race; we wd still find sth to hate on each other for.
    Gbenga made so many wrong choices, evn if d shrink was a chick he shd hv tried to mk d marraige work. Weda he marries a dude or chick, marraige isn’t d easiest thing in d world.
    As for being gay I think its a choice ppl make, it has nothing to do with d way u r born, thr r many effeminate guys that r not gay in the least bit. Thr was a dude we had all dismissed as being gay cos he worked at the salon n was d best @ making weave on 4 babes n we used to call just to book him to do our hair. One day we r all thr n he says he can’t mk any1’s hair that today is his babe’s bday n she is coming to pick him up. We all waited to Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴͡ his babe n in walks d cutest chick with of course nicely done hair n they walk off hand in hand.
    I don’t use wat u do behind closed doors to judge u,to each his own n let God judge us all.

    Posted by kunbillionaire | July 27, 2011, 11:51 am
  159. for me and any of my friend that does seek my opinion, this here would be my opinion well put…not being religious or subjective or watever about this matter just dont call it “NORMAL” and tell me i have to accept it because its wide-spread…i would not discriminate against anyone but i wont be found encouraging or supporting it being legalized as well…there are several other things that bring people joy and happiness which the law will not recognise simply because its not NORMAL e.g. kleptomania so why Same Sex Marriage

    Posted by o25 | July 27, 2011, 11:53 am
  160. broda ode. did u see any where in d bible that God destroyed d whole town bcos of adultery and fornication????????? y do u think soddom and gommorah was destroyed? cos politicians were stealing??????????????????

    Posted by bimbo | July 27, 2011, 12:03 pm
  161. Nice one! Totally mind fucked!

    Posted by zorro | July 27, 2011, 12:05 pm
  162. Very sensitive issue indeed, criticising and judging same sex marriage isn’t going to make the individuals involved stop.They’ve chosen to tow that line, therefore, there is need to respect their values.

    It might be difficult to accept homosexualism and lesbianism as a result of the society we live in. We grew up knowing our parents are of the opposite sex, so naturally, we gravitate towards that line. We make choices and are solely responsible for them, so, each to his own.

    That said, Live your life as you find suitable, Whatever makes you sleep at night, by all means carry on. That will be all.

    Posted by criistalpure | July 27, 2011, 12:05 pm
  163. omo.this is EXACTLY how i feel. i’m a christian from a christian home.almost everyone goes on about how WRONG and DISGUSTING homosexuality is..but then i’ve met a few couples that love each other and sometimes i’m like who am i really to judge these people. what if maybe theyre born like this..
    bible says its wrong.i know. but what of the kids that u can already see theyd be gay before they even grow up. is it fair to them to be born sinners, even before they know what their crime is.
    but then since we cant ask God why he made them like that, its only fair that we dont judge why they are indeed like that.

    Posted by pamela c nwuruku | July 27, 2011, 12:07 pm
  164. I was homophobic until i started working with them! I had the opportunity of asking 2 of my them why are they gay? They answered cos they are…. a guy does not appeal to me, so a girl does not appeal to them; Simples.(born that way)

    And talking about the bible…we are all sinners…and i believe the bible says we should love.
    If we dont love them and talk to them how can you reach out to them? How can you tell them about Christ that you profess?

    They were born that way…God makes no mistakes! Afterall God allowed it “Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another” Romans 1:24

    I’m straight I was born that way God makes no mistakes

    Posted by Pokemon | July 27, 2011, 12:09 pm
  165. I concur.

    Posted by Mightylomo | July 27, 2011, 12:09 pm
  166. Impossible to separate this from God because in the first place that’s why its controversial.
    Its wrong according to the Bible and society shouldn’t try and normalise it. It is not in any way greater than fornication, masturbation, lying, but its still WRONG.
    I won’t judge them, and I have 1 gay friend and I have accepted him that way and I’ve told him I do not think its right but if he wants to continue that way, I wouldn’t walk away from him.
    Again what irks me is that we all like to comment and talk here but what new found knowledge do you leave with? How does discussing this here lend a helping hand to society?
    If you haven’t experienced it first hand here, your comments will be way off.
    You can only pray that God helps you, us, oir society to act right if faced with such a dilemma. #thatisall.

    Posted by @bule_jr | July 27, 2011, 12:10 pm
  167. PreyingMantis, join me, lets dance ——–> Windeck! ┐(‘⌣’┐) ƪ(˘ە˘)┐ (┌’⌣’)┌ ┌(˘.˘)ʃ Windeck! ┐(‘⌣’┐) ƪ(˘ە˘)┐ (┌’⌣’)┌ ┌(˘.˘)ʃ Windeck! ┐(‘⌣’┐) ƪ(˘ە˘)┐ (┌’⌣’)┌ ┌(˘.˘)ʃ

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | July 27, 2011, 12:11 pm
  168. homosexuality has been documented in giraffes and lions. I don’t fully understand how it works (i read anything i come across that can help me clarify), but my tolerance of homosexuality =/= endorsement,

    Posted by UrUnkle | July 27, 2011, 12:16 pm
  169. My friend’s dogs got in the act some weeks back.tThere have been reported cases of animals that court their own gender so no,it aint restricted to humans.

    Posted by georgeenah | July 27, 2011, 12:17 pm
  170. and i couldnt have put this any better..well said sir

    Posted by Anino Odeli-Serrano | July 27, 2011, 12:21 pm
  171. very good question! Lagos Hunter and Deola please answer..

    Posted by Domina | July 27, 2011, 12:21 pm
  172. i agree it should not be legalized. we shouldnt legalize something becos of how common it is. people cheat in exams cos they feel thats their only way of passing, you dont see that being legalized. they should do it if they want . fine. but what is wrong shouldnt be made right becos its common

    Posted by pamela c nwuruku | July 27, 2011, 12:23 pm
  173. *sighs*. A lot has been said. I will still give my 2 cents. I don’t care what u base ur principles by, I don’t care what governs your life, you have a free will, explore it till the world ends. But pls, do not enforce your opinion on me, do not have the superiority complex about ur beliefs and dumb enough to think ur they should rule my world, I also have a free will.
    Before anyone is gay, a junkie, a fornicator, a thief, they were first human, and as such I will treat them as one. I am human, I want to be accepted, loved, not judged. I appreciate constructive criticism, am willing to learn more. Because I have these needs, I understand ur needs too. Just pls return the favour. And if my way of life is not acceptable to u, pls find people of like-minds, they abound.
    If you are gay, all well and good. You don’t need to justify your actions. Am heterosexual, I am not going to justify it either. But let’s not forget for every action there are consequences (even the act of judging! You get my drift?).
    I just ranted!

    Posted by Nutella. | July 27, 2011, 12:27 pm
  174. i have a very confusing stand on this topic, I’m very comfortable with lesbians, & bisexual girls,but when it comes to the male folks, I’m irritated (Yes i said Irritated), can’t stand them, especially watching them make-out on TV. That’s just me. But i don’t judge them, i just think they are twisted just like yours sincerely.

    Posted by bossikeh | July 27, 2011, 12:32 pm
  175. mek una go drink garri abeg…those of u working…break is over! D rest of una..go find job or sleep!

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 27, 2011, 12:33 pm
  176. How is homosexuality wronger than pre-marital sex or stealing? or even gossip?

    first stone people… first stone!!!!

    Posted by Atoke | July 27, 2011, 12:33 pm
  177. before I sy anything on d topic, let me complete d story wit wat I think would be my Dad’s reaction. He’s a man of few words, while my Mum would be speed dialling her Pastor or the family Shrink (a female one). My Dad will quietly get up and walk upstairs to his room. Yu know wat he is going to get, you won’t wan’t your boyfriend to still be hanging around when he gets bak…..!
    I’m not sure of my view on homosexual-ism. I’ve got friends who are gay and I don’t treat them any differently.. But I’m not sure if I’d act d same way if it was a close family memeber, one of my sisters for instance. I’d like to think I will keep an open view on it, support them, without attaching any stigma. Yeah… i’d like to think so

    Posted by leonmacedon | July 27, 2011, 12:40 pm
  178. homosexuality has been observed in nearly 1500 species in the animal kingdom, including some primates. http://bit.ly/qEtLnV and http://bit.ly/E8TD9. it is not as unnatural as we think.

    Posted by Joachim MacEbong | July 27, 2011, 12:42 pm
  179. Errm quick question for those of you saying they should legalise sSM and stealing and things are also equal sins.. Errmm have they legalised stealing et all?? What happens when they catch thieves. Just asking o.

    Posted by aIsha | July 27, 2011, 12:45 pm
  180. Shrugs

    As long as you are happy, who cares!!!!!!

    Posted by Laurenta | July 27, 2011, 12:47 pm
  181. Goats, dogs and lions do not have oral sex. Does this make it unnatural?

    Posted by MsJulz | July 27, 2011, 12:50 pm
  182. Maltina cares…

    Posted by leonmacedon | July 27, 2011, 12:55 pm
  183. All of U that are condoning rubbish don’t be so open minded that your brain falls out.

    Homosexuality is not natural. Period.

    Posted by stfub | July 27, 2011, 12:56 pm
  184. THIS IS A RUCKUS!!!!!

    F.

    Posted by @FoluShaw | July 27, 2011, 12:57 pm
  185. thank You!

    Posted by 'il Cicero' | July 27, 2011, 1:04 pm
  186. Just so you know,a lot of people who comment on this blog ARE open minded,its why we don’t indulge in blogs who have more obtuse than reasonable people
    Now to the matter at hand.10% of sheep have been found gay,plainly refusing to mate with females. over 300 species of animals(Dolphins,birds,apes,bulls,cattle,elephants and lions) are homosexual and that’s got the backing of documented evidence.
    With regards to humans,what do you have to say about a child that discovers an unacceptable sexuality before the age of 7?or like someone said,a boy who’s gay from the age of 2?Do you think they chose to be that way?Science says a decreased level of testosterone or estrogen to the brain can make you develop thinking u’r of the opposite sex.Religion says its an evil thing from the devil.I say watever works for u is fine,just be a good friend to me 🙂

    Posted by georgeenah | July 27, 2011, 1:04 pm
  187. @iamhomophobic Creating an opportunity 4 an intellectual discussion doesn’t mean u r writing ‘rubbish’,ving a wife and a child/children doesn’t mean dt u should be oblivious of d issues in ur society. It is not compulsory 2 accept a gay person/gay people but hating dem? U r not any beta dan dey r as Sin is sin. Dat being sed,I think d real fucktard here is U!

    Posted by missnoyb | July 27, 2011, 1:05 pm
  188. The Bible explicitly forbids “man to lie with man as he does with woman”. This brings us to our next point.

    We know there are gay couples who do not have sex but merely love each other deeply, share intimacy but do not engage in penetration (google it). Is this a form of homosexuality that may be ‘condoned by God’? So to speak? Is it even homosexuality at all by your standards? It is by ours.

    Posted by THINKTANK | July 27, 2011, 1:05 pm
  189. Last weekend, I spent a good portion of my time watching gay men and women in NY take vows that they had been waiting for years to be “allowed” to take…and I thought it was beautiful cause all I saw were people that loved one another…people that wanted to spend their lives together…nothing more!!!

    Who/What gives anyone the right to judge?! For all those people that come out with the “it’s a sin” argument…so is premarital sex, lying, stealing, watching porn, gossiping, etc…so are there now some sins we can partake in..and others we shouldn’t?!

    I know what it’s like to love someone of the same sex…and I know what it’s like to have to hide from disapproving eyes cause our society is unaccepting of such “behaviour”…and I am so happy that this topic has come up…cause I reckon it’s about time people stop shauning it and come to terms with the fact that some people are gay/bisexual…simple!!!

    Noone is saying everyone should love it…but it would be nice if people can just allow others make their choices and leave them to live their lives…taunting and mocking gay pple is so old school…as in really!!!

    PS…I get the “I love lesbians…I just can’t stand gay men” line alot…and that is really played out too!!

    Posted by Chizoba | July 27, 2011, 1:15 pm
  190. wow.. you guys made really valid points.!
    never knew all these stuff bout animals with gay tendencies…
    wow.. this just opens up a whole lot more questions..

    *goes back to think*

    Posted by iam_dQ | July 27, 2011, 1:21 pm
  191. I’ve come across a few lesbians and homosexuals. Fabulous, fabulous people – long as they ain’t hitting on me. The fact is that God made us all. We all are sinners and have fallen short. Judge not so that you won’t be judged. It’s the creator’s problem to decipher. Not mine. “Love your neighbour as yourself” doesn’t come with exceptions and qualifications.
    fin…

    Posted by cikk0 | July 27, 2011, 1:25 pm
  192. @chizoba: the word is *shunning*

    Posted by PreyingMantis | July 27, 2011, 1:25 pm
  193. ahh “fucktard” That word is rarely missing from Ur so-called intellectual discourse.

    Anyways to each his own, Gos will judge Us all.

    Posted by stfub | July 27, 2011, 1:27 pm
  194. Nigerians and God sha…..
    When y’ll be fornicating, u don’t bring God into the equation but now everybody knows the scriptures on this mata!

    Posted by DL | July 27, 2011, 1:27 pm
  195. LOL!!! my bad…thanks boo 🙂

    Posted by Chizoba | July 27, 2011, 1:32 pm
  196. #Gbam

    Posted by ΣΓΤ | July 27, 2011, 1:36 pm
  197. This question of people being ‘born’ a certain way is not one that can be settled easily.
    We say this – as long as you can control your actions, what you choose to do is exactly that. A choice. that is our opinion.

    Posted by ThinkTank! | July 27, 2011, 1:40 pm
  198. good point.

    Posted by pamela c nwuruku | July 27, 2011, 1:44 pm
  199. oshe!!! Cos my daddy said so LMAOOO!!!

    Posted by bykerboi | July 27, 2011, 1:45 pm
  200. The bible also says no fornication. Remove bible another point.except ur a virgin this point is as vague as a see try skirt

    Posted by Me | July 27, 2011, 1:55 pm
  201. U create this type of topic, ask people to give their opinions and then u come up here like the one who’s got the final say, open ur mouth and say “its not in our place to judge”.. Oh u knw dis b4 u wrote dis post didn’t u?? U knw dat ppl opinions wld come across as judgements to you..and u still wrote it nd asked 4 opinions. In as much as I like ur blog, have dis kind of unexplainable respect 4u, I think these days u just want to enjoy urself with ppls rant on here….wich isn’t what a writer shld do.

    Posted by lahlah | July 27, 2011, 2:01 pm
  202. That “hey there,u masturbate” was a sub @ me yea?…. 😦

    Posted by theinsanephenom | July 27, 2011, 2:06 pm
  203. Has anyone said that fornication, stealing , lying aren’t sins?

    Posted by anonymous | July 27, 2011, 2:07 pm
  204. I used to be so closed minded bfre I had a gay friend . And trust me gay is jaust gay wen u have a person u love gay straight waterer sexuality it really dant matter most pole re tlking from outside the box.what if ur sister or brother came out to be gay or a friend u all ready know. It’s absolutely impossible then to Jane the way u feel about them.let’s all be realistic. Only he who weeds shoe knows where it pinches . Being gay is some 1 business like wise being able to worship cups and stones and Walls . Pple decide what they WANa do and do it. And this same exact bible pole re calling also said that if you judge it’s also hellfire straight . We re all going to he’ll anyways if it’s by that 1 assimple lowing that ur house is blue instead of red na also sin. Toodles

    Posted by Me | July 27, 2011, 2:10 pm
  205. I think yall are getting it wrong. Being gay isn’t being legalised, but the RIGHT to marry someone you love who also happens to be the same sex as you is.

    Posted by TheOne | July 27, 2011, 2:11 pm
  206. Some of you bringing up homosexuality as a sin and shiii..I hope y’all know there’s no small or big sin.? Hence, if u fornicate or commit adultery or take alcohol or watch Lesbian porn..y’all gonna perish with the same said homosexual(s) yea.?…cos u know, sin = sin ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯. PS:- I want to be friends with a really really cute and neat “gay guy”.and oh…stop judging, Let God do his work oh and be the judge. *Picks up Lesbian porn and goes to Masturbate*

    Posted by Adahna | July 27, 2011, 2:13 pm
  207. Death to auto correct turning of that crap

    Posted by Me | July 27, 2011, 2:15 pm
  208. sigh. this is tiring.
    so everyone else but the people against it should take abi?
    so much for being objective. SHIORR!!!!.
    pls stop callin fornication n bla.
    no1 says these other things are right but they are not the issue in question today.
    homosexuality is.
    therefore!!! let people talk.
    shoo! see ppl forming voltron on top matter.
    where are our sprite peddlers biko!!!!!

    Posted by alex | July 27, 2011, 2:16 pm
  209. should TALK***

    Posted by alex | July 27, 2011, 2:17 pm
  210. Thank you for your interest in this blog. I’ve said severally that I try not to give my opinions in the actual writeups posted here for fear of it coming across as me trying to impose them. I doubt very much that the pattern of the comments would have been significantly different even without my little note at the end of the post.

    This blog has always been and will always be about creating a safe space where all forms of topics from the trivial to the not so trivial are discussed by “not-so-experts” with the hope that we can either learn something new or further reaffirm what we already know through our conversations.

    I’ve always admitted to being just as curious or clueless as most of the commenters here so I see no reason why I shouldn’t also add my own comment which by the way is my own opinion. As most people have said in the past, they sometimes enjoy the comments here more than the posts. For us, this is fulfillment. Thank you once again.

    Posted by thetoolsman | July 27, 2011, 2:20 pm
  211. and that will be your own opinion…good for you!!!

    Posted by kiah | July 27, 2011, 2:21 pm
  212. calling names is soo immature i must say…. * returns to reading comments and sipping some shilled kunu*

    Posted by ΣΓΤ | July 27, 2011, 2:24 pm
  213. Oseee…

    Posted by kiah | July 27, 2011, 2:25 pm
  214. Hmmmn. A lot of enlightening comments. As for whether being gay is a matter of being born dat way or being influenced by d environment or circumstances(i.e, a matter of choice), I think its both.

    Posted by tobicomm | July 27, 2011, 2:33 pm
  215. To cut the long story of the many things i hav to say regarding this subject short, lemme say i find homosexuality very very disturbing for lack of a better term, and i cannot be liberal as regards this cos that will be going against all i believe in and stand for.
    I however will not hate those that practice it as they are also human, but na to pray for dem and the future generations to come because this issue is going to be alot bigger than it is now.

    Posted by misdoubleDees | July 27, 2011, 2:36 pm
  216. Reading some comments on here, and all I can do is shake my head at such ignorance and unwarranted hate. If you’re going to give a serious opinion about something, try to find out a lil about what the hell you’re talking about first.

    First of, being gay isn’t being legalised. Having the RIGHT to marry whoever you want to, regardless of if they’re the same sex as you or not is. It probably wouldnt have been that much of a big deal if gay marriage had been allowed from the get go.

    Also, being gay is NOT a choice, so toss that. No-one would sign up for all that discrimination and ridicule just because its ‘cool’ to be gay. no sir. Everyone wants to fit in, not stand out for the wrong reasons. Not be judged by the chav down the street who thinks she’s at the top of the world and better than you, ’cause she just became a B-team football player’s 8th baby mama. Bitch please. all that confusion? the lies? inability to trust or open up to people? not seeing a wedding down the line cause you aren’t allowed to?. again, no sir.

    How would YOU feel if you were suddenly told being straight was wrong?

    And If we’re going to bring the bible into this, I’ve always said that people pick out parts of the bible they can live with, and toss the rest out. you’re having pre-marital sex, you’ve had abortions, you steal (yes the biro you stole in secondary school counts), you wank, you watch porn, you’ve slept with 28 guys and you’re just 20..

    WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL ME MY SIN IS WORSE THAN YOURS??????
    See you in hell.

    Posted by TheOne1one | July 27, 2011, 2:40 pm
  217. I dedicate it to Riley. In whose honour this post was written. *side eye at Tula*

    Posted by highlandblue | July 27, 2011, 2:45 pm
  218. Not mine hun,its the barely hidden stance in the sentence.

    Posted by georgeenah | July 27, 2011, 3:00 pm
  219. Pokemon please do not quote out of context. Read said text from verse 18. If you are going to use God please stop your blasphemy by saying He made people that way. I have no problem with people being gay, its their choice but if you gonna “claim” you were made that way please let’s know your “god”. The God of the KJV bible I read don’t make mistakes.

    Posted by ciiphii | July 27, 2011, 3:01 pm
  220. Good question Aisha! N y is bigamy an offence?

    Posted by @shadeyB | July 27, 2011, 3:04 pm
  221. If you’re going to ask if they were created gay with out ‘God’, that sounds like you’re trying to put it out there that ‘someone/something’ else made gay people.

    On that note, were you created straight?

    Posted by TheOne1one | July 27, 2011, 3:05 pm
  222. God hates the sin, NOT the sinner.

    Posted by alex | July 27, 2011, 3:07 pm
  223. but all the sooo called liberal minded pple here y r yall tryna find hate where theres none. ive read about 100 comments (im sorry 220 comments is too much to read) and no one here has said they hate gay ppl or wld kill them or wateva. the question is shld gay marriages be allowed. and we ‘un-liberal’ minded ppl are simply saying no it shldnt. it is unnatural and immoral.

    y do yall feel a need to justify homosexuality with fornication, adultery…… bleh bleh bleh. aint no one saying they are right.

    my take sha, i DO NOT believe anyone is born gay. this is why GOD said it is an unnatural act. (P.S fire fya d yansh of any idiot who tells me to leave religion out of my yarns. u sef leave oxygen out of your breathing).

    lets just even say they were born gay sef, using kleptos as examples, i dont see society legalising it saying ‘its not their fault’. instead we try to rehabilitate them and use wateva methods are available to change them.

    i dont hate gay people. they irritate me, (just like theives irritate me, just like adulterers irritate me (yes this is a sub)) but hate? too much emotion to waste on em

    Posted by bimbo | July 27, 2011, 3:10 pm
  224. thank u for this ooooo. y’all are liberal but u hate people that preach the bible and involve God in their yarns? hian!

    Posted by bimbo | July 27, 2011, 3:13 pm
  225. Okay let me put this out there…
    Homosexuality (attraction to a person of the same sex as you) is NOT choice. The only choice left to you rests on if you decide to act on your attraction or not. in my opinion, being attracted to the same sex, thinking and maybe even fantasising but not acting on it doesn’t make you any less gay.

    Posted by TheOne1one | July 27, 2011, 3:17 pm
  226. Clap for urselves!!! Al ye who have spoken bt yet nothing achieved, vry few lessons learned & close 2 no improvement. I noticed that several comments were just show offs: instead of a thread of replies it appeared as sm sort of intellectual race for who was going to win the MOST “OBJECTIVE HUMAN ALIVE” AWARD. LMAO!! U realy blive being objective is a reason 2 pop one’s collar?? NO WAY!!!! Being objective merely opens d floor & provides a list of possible decisions 2 b taken. Nw dt u have all posed as “Objective intellectuals” what next? As far as I’m concerned this post was arguably a waste esp as no homosexual was present on the above thread. The closest I saw were acclaimed heterosexuals bragging about their ownership of homosexual friends. In other words friends of fags. LMAO!!!!

    I personally dnt approve of sitting on fences’ some comments were frm pple who were neither here nore there. I wud actually support a gay man than his idiotic defenders who don’t support his orientation. You say u r straight bt uve bin throwing verbal tantrums @ a fellow straight man who doesn’t share your “Liberal” views. We all talk about individuality as if we r unaware that if every 1 chose 2 have a seperate opinion about evrything d world wud be in a state of disarray. Ur black wud be my red & ur blue wud be my green jst cz I want to have an opinion.

    If u also want to talk bout choices then let’s nt “judge” Osama bin laden fr al d lives that were lost. Let us all embrace idi amin, Ghadaffi etc. Afta all they were doing what made them happy. In d world I Live in dere all laws, facts as opposed 2 choices & opinions. Altho’ a man has freedom bt nt 2 do all things.

    ITS WRONG TO BE GAY~period.

    @mia farraday made a very wise speech bt al her speech deserves is a round of applause. Mia gave a lecture bt sat on d fence.

    If u dnt want 2 “judge” a gay man then judge nt d Hitlers, Bin ladens afta all dey were making choices as well…

    2 d babes out dere whu haven’t bin toasted by deir dads. Dz he think u r unattractive? Nah!ITS WRONG
    2 d dudes whu dnt wanna hump deir mommas berra than daddy did? Is ur dick 2 small?? Nah! ITS WRONG

    Make we no dey dance round circles. STFU

    Posted by wetynmangodo | July 27, 2011, 3:19 pm
  227. Isn’t is annoyin wen pple say ‘a gay’ eg ‘that guy is a gay…’ Gosh! #jusSaying

    Posted by @deevagal | July 27, 2011, 3:22 pm
  228. like i said…good for you

    Posted by kiah | July 27, 2011, 3:22 pm
  229. Born left-handed *sigh* I gv up n pure ignorance.. Dts by d way
    I v lived wv a lesbian and had a gay work m8
    dese people r normal as “strait” people if not awesome d differnec
    Is their choic of partners .. d only set of peopl I dsapprove
    R d BISEXUALS they r jst GREED confused fucktards.. @stephdiva :lol,
    Adam , adamu & eve .

    Posted by royce | July 27, 2011, 3:28 pm
  230. Religion isn’t the only basis for determining what’s right and what’s wrong. There is also this thing called The Law

    Posted by TheOne1one | July 27, 2011, 3:34 pm
  231. this is just sad. very very sad.

    Posted by alex | July 27, 2011, 3:44 pm
  232. hehehe first wetin abeg o???

    Posted by o25 | July 27, 2011, 3:58 pm
  233. I’d say I’m on the fence about being homophobic. Yet to make acquaintances with gay peeps. But for the lesbians I’m cool with them as acquaintances but can’t say for the gay guyz for the fear of them turnin on me and bursting my ass… I have phobophobia(fear of fear i.e u go fear fear) for them… ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

    Posted by temi | July 27, 2011, 3:58 pm
  234. can we all then be like dogs too??? dogs mate with their parents, sisters, cousins…they do not recognise family lines – can we humans do same?? Animals mate mostly for procreation but humans for both procreation and fun…i dare say most gay are attracted mostly for the “fun” as there is no known case where gay people procreate so please can we knock off animals being homosexual makes being gay very NATURAL??

    oh please people what kid at age 2 or 7 has sufficient testoterone to be classified gay at such age??? finally it was once documented that the earth is flat…we know better now dont we…there is a lot of scientific evidence to quote if we want to back either side of the argument…i’d rather stick with what i know to be RIGHT and NORMAL than wide-spreading ABNORMALITY..that said i have not proposed that gay should be excommunicated or go into extinction they need help and thats all i can give not accept them as normal…hian!!!

    Posted by o25 | July 27, 2011, 4:34 pm
  235. I used to be homophobic until a year ago when i was privileged to attend an international conference on human sexuality. To throw some light on the issue one has to look at somethings closely. Some people like short people while others like tall peeps, some are attracted to fat peeps while for others skinny peeps is their preference (there are some peeps who like fat peeps but would go for the skinny peeps simply because society seems to make being skinny a gold standard), some people like light skinned people while others are attracted to dark skinned people. some guys are attracted to a girl with big breast while for others its girls with a big bum. What am I trying to say? People have different preferences and things they are attracted to without knowing why they are attracted to these things. it therefore follows that some people are attracted to the opposite sex while some would be attracted to the same sex. just as you who is heterosexual feels it is normal, it is the same way that those who are heterosexual feel that it is normal/natural for them. who are you to tell them otherwise? we all cant like or be attracted to the same things.
    it is funny how human beings take some things to be natural and other un-natural. (i remember the white supremacists who believed that the caucasian race was natural and the only race accepted by God).

    it’s rather unfortunate when people base their opinions on the bible/religion. There are many things which the bible speaks against but are done nowadays. For instance, women wearing men’s clothing and vice versa, women going into the church while on their period, women heading the church, fornication etc. As someone said above we all rationalize these things to suit us. There are so many religions in the world such that you cannot base right and wrong human behaviour on religion.
    i believe that as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else/ infringe on anyone’s rights, people should be free to pursue what makes them genuinely happy.

    Posted by bykerboi | July 27, 2011, 4:39 pm
  236. lmaaaaaaaaaaaooo@riley. there is definitely beef

    Posted by some girl | July 27, 2011, 4:45 pm
  237. But Bykerboi, none of those things you mentioned the Bible prohibiting are true. Don’t you think it’s high time you came in instead of looking in from the outside? 🙂

    Posted by highlandblue | July 27, 2011, 4:48 pm
  238. Ditto. again.

    Posted by awizii | July 27, 2011, 4:54 pm
  239. @highandblue if you really study the bible you’d realise that they are actually spoken against. (not like i have anything against it) was just trying to point out a fact.
    imagine a christian guy finds the best love he has ever experienced in a muslim girl but then is not allowed to marry her because of something about “not being unequally yoked with unbelievers”. he then ends up with a christian girl and is miserable for the rest of his life and probably makes her miserable as well. its the same scenario, just played down a bit. once again i say if it makes you happy and doesnt hurt anyone else please go for it.

    Posted by bykerboi | July 27, 2011, 5:02 pm
  240. lets leave religion and take a good look at nature. even animals seem to have a natural instinct on how things should be, be it birds, insects, even flowers for crying out loud. amano-amano is wrong as far as i’m concerned but the man is me gets turned on by two women because they are women, even though what they are doing is wrong.

    i don’t have any issues with the choice of a person’s sexual orientation. it’s your choice but i detest people claiming they were created that way. Please who created you? which “God”. It’s taken me to see my own personal failings to get not to judge people but I like to take responsibility for my actions.

    With that I’m learning to accept gay people for who they are, just don’t come at me cos I don’t swing that way. Me i like girls…100%

    Posted by ciiphii | July 27, 2011, 5:10 pm
  241. abeg i can’t shout. i’m laughing so hard i’m shedding tears……..thankfully na house i dey if not dem for don throway me comot for office……

    Posted by ciiphii | July 27, 2011, 5:15 pm
  242. please how do you know you gay at age two? i think this is being a bit too extremist but that’s my own opinion sha. I do go with your last statement though “just be a good friend to me”. But even that is also debatable.

    Posted by ciiphii | July 27, 2011, 5:22 pm
  243. Thinktank hi five abeg. !!!!!! First comment I totalw agree with (It was almost total with Osemhen). We have similar opinions on a number of things it seems.

    One question that comes to mind about people who suddenly discover that they enjoy a homosexual tendency, is that would they have discovered this without the help of someone else who apparently discovered theirs thanks to someone else, ad continuum?

    in nature, some insects and animals are homosexual, but yet have provisions to reproduce. with man this provision does not appear, which makes it impossible for me to believe anybody was born that way. My 2 cents.

    Posted by @Qurr | July 27, 2011, 5:37 pm
  244. like really you have read the bible this way right?? there is a difference between reading and understanding sir..the bible is one of such you have to grasp…i wish to refer you back to sunday school to learn the bible again

    back to subject matter so do we make laws to recognise or give rights to all the attractions to big breast, big bum, short, tall, slender, slim and all whatever catches our fancy??? because this is how you have chosen to see Same Sex Marriage a choice of life guaranteed by UN Declaration of rights so why needing further laws to claim legitimacy?? its a choice whether you say its RIGHT and i say its WRONG!!

    Posted by o25 | July 27, 2011, 5:42 pm
  245. Na wa oh….una still dey here…toolsman dey chop sweet kpekere abi plantain chips….even d gay people re pracking…chai!

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | July 27, 2011, 5:47 pm
  246. ur tone which tends to some sort of diss is highly unnecessary. its funny bow people talk about a difference between reading and understanding of the bible, when most of the “understanding” is their own interpretation. I’d also advice to carefully read it as well and see how we tend to modify things written to suit modern lifestyles.

    it is unreasonable and an infringement on the rights of any human being to prevent people of the same sex from getting married. Question id ask you, what is it that 2 married gay men do in their bedroom that affects you negatively? just as it was unreasonable witholding certain privileges from some people because of their race (take you back to racism) it is also unreasonable to withold privileges such as marriage from some people because of their sexual orientation. (and if i must point out, marriage wasn’t formed out of/ founded in christianity alone)

    Posted by bykerboi | July 27, 2011, 6:25 pm
  247. As much as I respect your opinion a lot on this blog I’m forced to say this…….the fact that people argue with the bible as their basis don’t make it less intellectual na, some could as well have this argument with the Quoran or whatever book dictates their moral code.
    While certain times some of these opinions may be too biased and judgmental (like hell some are), I think they should be accommodated.
    Opinions will always be opinions, let’s not show our distaste for the Holy Book on here (yeah your last line go don vex plenty people, not sure u care tho…lol).
    Yeah and this applies to Showade too, yes you! #okbye

    Posted by Wizzle | July 27, 2011, 6:34 pm
  248. Really? was all that necessary? Don’t believe this is what @toolsman had in mind when he put up this post.

    State your views without resorting to insults. They speak lowly of you and your intellect.

    Posted by bykerboi | July 27, 2011, 6:43 pm
  249. Hmmmmm

    Posted by oprah's long lost sister | July 27, 2011, 6:45 pm
  250. @ thetoolsman, what happened to @zebudiah’s comment? lol

    Posted by bykerboi | July 27, 2011, 6:48 pm

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