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Blog jacking Friday

Letter To My Girlfriend About Football

Hey people. Exactly a year ago today, I published my first post here reluctantly and that post has just 2 views. I didn’t put up another post till a month later. Who would have thought a year down the line, this same blog would have amassed almost 200k views and 10k comments. It’s been an incredible journey with a lot of reading, sleepless nights and amazing friends and acquaintances made along the way. Today is very emotional for me as this will be my last post on http://www.thetoolsman.wordpress.com. The blog has definitely outgrown the wordpress engine and with the rising number of spams and bots stopping by, I know the time is right to move.

In comes http://www.thenakedconvos.com, our new home. Remember it, bookmark it, save it. Why the naked convos? We’ve always been about driving conversations here. From the logical to the controversial and others. From Monday 8th of August 2011, we invite you to come stripping yourself of all restrictions as our posts go up on http://www.thenakedconvos.com but not to worry, we’ll have all the old posts and comments from here moved there as well.  Also, you can look forward to a whole lot more on the new site. We’ll be introducing some new categories, new writers, more giveaways and of course, events.

What better way to leave here than serving y’all with one last giveaway? In respect to our Muslim readers currently observing the month of Ramadan, the usual Wet Fridays category will take a break for a while but not to worry, trust us to always keep you engaged. Today, I bring to you, a post supported by the good people at Tactics IQ as part of their activities towards the Season 3 of the Soccer Fiesta billed to hold from 12noon at the Campos Mini Stadium Lagos Island tomorrow. Today’s post is for the blog jacking category. It’s taken from one of my blogging mentors, Dr. J. from that site we all love so much Single Black Male. Enjoy.

******

Babe,

You know that I appreciate you. I appreciate you so much. I enjoy talking to you, spending time with you, and just generally spending afternoons on the couch snuggled up with you reading a good book. We both have busy schedules so I know that most weekdays we hardly speak with the exception of hi and bye, and getting ready for bed in the evening. Friday nights we usually make time to grab dinner and Saturdays are usually filled with errands or attending functions that we’ve both been invited to attend as a couple. Sundays are our day. And I think that most couples would agree, Sunday is that day that you can spend with your significant other and everything is perfect. Sunday hugs, kisses, naps, and a good movie are the way to go.

Because I really appreciate that time with you, it pains me that I regret to inform you, that football is starting. This may be hard for you to understand and that’s why I took this time to write you this letter. I thought you would appreciate me getting my feelings out on paper.

I only get two days a week to watch football (well, except when the Champions League begins) because it only airs weekends. Football starts at noon on Saturday, but lasts until Sunday evening. Let me explain, it’s because the games are so great that as men we cheer for an encore even if it kills us. I need this time, this time reminds me that I’m a man and that manly blood runs through my veins.

Also, several of my friends will come over to watch games, or we may go to a sports bar. If I’m not in attendance I will be considered a bad friend and my manhood will undoubtedly be questioned. They will think that while men are being men, I’m probably locked in house with a blanket and hot tea watching a romantic movie. And babe, I love those movies, but I don’t love it when my boys laugh at me.

As it pertains to logistics, I’d like to discuss a few things. I’m an Arsenal fan, and although you may not like Arsenal, it would probably be best if you went ahead and acted like you did. I get emotional. My fan hood is deeply rooted and not easily moved. Anything you say, I probably already know, and have known for some time now. For example, “Baby the man just said Arsenal haven’t won a trophy in six seasons?! Is that a good thing?” That’s only going to make it worse. Don’t add salt to open wounds, just do what I do. And when I’m upset, just pat me on the back and tell me to keep drinking my beer.

If I have people over to my apartment for a game while you’re here, please be a great host. I would like to be as helpful as possible; however, my time is limited because I’m expected to be sitting in the living room watching the games at all times. I will need you to be in charge of taking orders, ordering food, serving food and providing beverages for everyone. This will be a lot easier for you if you buy the booze on Fridays when we’re out running errands. If being in the kitchen while the guys are watching the games bothers you, I’ve heard that some women take up hobbies such as cooking homemade shawarmas or perfecting the perfect chicken wings. There are several recipes online, feel free to try it out. I’ll be your guinea pig. (Kisses.)

During halftime is when most guys will break to call their girlfriends, wives, or sidepieces. Some guys will need a few more minutes just to get up to speed on fantasy scores. However, this is a good time for us to spend about 15 minutes together. And I can’t think of a better place to be doing that than in the bedroom. Yes, sex at halftime is BAWSE! It’s our way of staying connected and it’s also a stress reliever.

I’m glad I took the time to sit down and write you this letter. I feel so much better now that I’ve gotten this off my chest. I was so worried that you would be upset, but I think that now that I’ve expressed my feelings to you, you’ll understand 100%. If you want to talk about this later, please let me know, I’m always open to talking to you and hearing your thoughts. Lastly, know that, football only runs from August until May. (That’s 10 measly months!) Later we’ll discuss midweek football, but it shouldn’t be a problem at all, since you’ll be used to it by then, however we should talk about it just in case. Talk to you soon!

With Love and Admiration,

Your Honey Bunches of Oats

****

There you go. I’m sure a lot of guys reading will thank me for this post. As for the ladies, what will be your response to a letter like this sent to you from your boyfriend?

As for the giveaway, I have two tickets. They’ll go to the 10th and 20th people to tweet #TacticsIQsoccerFiesta to the twitter handle @TacticsIQ. Goodluck.

UPDATE:  PICTURES FROM #TNC1 ON Ynaija –>  http://j.mp/oa3xY1

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About thetoolsman

I mostly refer to myself as an unrepentant media addict .. Well, cause I'm mostly always hunting for information through one media channel or the other... Hit me up on twitter @thetoolsman

Discussion

71 thoughts on “Letter To My Girlfriend About Football

  1. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | August 5, 2011, 9:04 am
  2. Wet frfiday 😦

    Posted by audrey | August 5, 2011, 9:08 am
  3. 1st 10…..Oya make I go read post

    Posted by MzDharmi | August 5, 2011, 9:10 am
  4. U’ll are just crazy mehn *smh*

    Posted by *sigh* | August 5, 2011, 9:11 am
  5. Hilarious! I’d burn the letter and feed him the ashes….Kidding! I respect a man’s right to football, mainly because i’m the same about basketball and the time difference means that any significant other often has to put with me screaming and swearing at a TV at rather inhospitable hours. As long as I don’t have to sit there and watch the world’s most boring game with you, I’m good!

    Posted by Mia Farraday | August 5, 2011, 9:11 am
  6. Top five??? yay!!

    Posted by anita | August 5, 2011, 9:14 am
  7. What? No wet friday?
    And this is about soccer? Soccer?!

    Posted by Cleo® | August 5, 2011, 9:14 am
  8. Top 5? Top 10?? 😦

    Posted by MsWaspy | August 5, 2011, 9:16 am
  9. hahaha.. smh .. you actually did this.. hahaha

    Posted by thetoolsman | August 5, 2011, 9:16 am
  10. Awwwww…..any man that has the courtesy to write me such a letter would get sharwama and fried chicken every weekend from me and good “half-time” lovin’ goes with that.!! 😀

    Posted by Lady_corrs | August 5, 2011, 9:21 am
  11. Top 10….*windecking*….I knw one day I shall make it to d top ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ )

    Posted by dozie | August 5, 2011, 9:22 am
  12. Iz a lie! I thot u were part of d ppl that used to abuse us?

    Posted by bimbo | August 5, 2011, 9:22 am
  13. Copied …. And sent via email so she reads it sharp sharp…. Now now… Thank ΰ tula……

    Posted by Lade | August 5, 2011, 9:24 am
  14. @toolsman, I now believe dat dis ur blog has bin doctored. The timing of ur post is so wrong. U didn’t put dis up @9:03am. Cos I have bin checkin dis blog all morning. So the post was up around 10:20am. Hw come pple av bin commenting frm 9:05am. So I need some serz explanation.

    Posted by snowman | August 5, 2011, 9:24 am
  15. I am not a football fan……
    I only watch football matches to keep up with social conversations.
    On a different note,stories/jokes like these are very chauvinistic ….
    Don’t we all know a lady or two who are die hard football fans?
    What is she gonna tell her boo when the football season starts?

    Posted by Lagos Hunter | August 5, 2011, 9:26 am
  16. lmao

    Posted by o25 | August 5, 2011, 9:26 am
  17. Ahn ahn, u posted this while I was doing my Ekaette duties? Why evils? 😥

    Posted by Sha-Sha | August 5, 2011, 9:26 am
  18. I love this post and I am sure most girls won’t agree with it expecially the kitchen part. Best thing is date someone that loves football but who does the kitchen work??? Hmmmm!!!

    Posted by kk | August 5, 2011, 9:26 am
  19. err… WordPress is not a Nigerian engine.. as a result, this blog is set up to reflect GMT + 1 timing. The post went up at 10:03 am… thats 9:03 according to wordpress and the first comment went up at 9:04 which is probably an approximation. Get it?

    Posted by thetoolsman | August 5, 2011, 9:28 am
  20. hahahaaha….he must be very sick, that’l def be the end for us. if he was supporting a ‘beche’ club like United, Barcelona or City…..mayb i’l undastand but not that dead waiting to be buried club called Assnal.
    BTW….iRep Gooner and InArseneWeTrust :p 😛

    Posted by bukiola | August 5, 2011, 9:33 am
  21. Here’s your zobo….\_/

    Posted by kayshawy | August 5, 2011, 9:36 am
  22. Yay..I won the first ticket..or one of the tickets…whicheva…I won…. Oya tula, how do I collect it..

    Posted by cupcakemouse | August 5, 2011, 9:38 am
  23. LMAO! Copy that!

    Posted by kayshawy | August 5, 2011, 9:38 am
  24. I couldn’t help smiling whilst reading. I’m sure every guy that’s passoinate about soccer can relate to this. Lovely post.

    Posted by aikhomu1 | August 5, 2011, 9:42 am
  25. Lol
    I tnk d leta is funny esp as my bf told me sumtin along dse lines a couple of wks bk!
    Dt I shld not get upset o esp wen manu is playing.
    Bt hey its a nice time 2hang out with the gals n play catch up. So I wud suggest d guy runs his errands n gets refreshments 4d boys…

    Posted by @mizztosin | August 5, 2011, 9:51 am
  26. Am not a die hard fan or anything but I can tolerate soccer,esp if one of my fav teams re playing #teammanu and the couple doesn’t seem to spend so much time togeda sooo sure…ull def owe me one tho and ill prolly go MIA after half-time 😉

    Posted by buhtafla | August 5, 2011, 9:51 am
  27. Buahahahahahahaha!!! Lagos Hunter?! *rolling to the bush* Tula! If u had said this would be your last post we would have given him a decent fight! For real tho, the first person to comment on this last post of yours should have had a prize!!!

    Posted by highlandblue | August 5, 2011, 9:54 am
  28. Lol..tula u shld hav posted dis letter since o!!I wuld hav tried 2 compose smetin like dis 2 ma ex-bf(yes o!! A guy who doesn’t like football)he jst didn’t understand y I wanted 2 stay @home on wkends….I even tried 2 watch football wit him@his place and b4 half tym,oga was already sleepin!!!!!how naw!!
    Bt I hav 2 talk bout d part of usin d babe as ur house maid o!!!if u want sme1 dat wwill cook chicken wings and all 4 ur fwends,get a COOK!!!!

    Posted by miz bee | August 5, 2011, 9:54 am
  29. Arsene Wenger loves you baby.

    Posted by highlandblue | August 5, 2011, 9:55 am
  30. 10 months!!!!!!lmao

    Posted by missayda | August 5, 2011, 9:57 am
  31. Buahahahaha. Awwwwwww. A girl that loves football. Watch this space for P setting!

    Posted by highlandblue | August 5, 2011, 9:57 am
  32. As far as its an arsenal match,I’ll sit dere nd watch wiv him nd his buddies…being d host? Dts a small thing….15mins sex? 😐 is he mad??

    Posted by Meeeeee | August 5, 2011, 10:00 am
  33. All I can say is after dis letter he wee GERRIT end.of.story

    Posted by nyekus peperempe | August 5, 2011, 10:00 am
  34. I don’t like football like that. I watch only when the big teams are playing. Then Champions league later stages. And the World Cup. (I know right? That’s more than enough *sighs*) So I can’t identify with this post. My spouse however, will have to struggle with my laptop and phone for my attention. 😦

    Posted by highlandblue | August 5, 2011, 10:02 am
  35. you are the same with basketball????? *am in love*

    please dont be a Lakers fan!

    Posted by ShoWade | August 5, 2011, 10:03 am
  36. u have no idea….
    this post saves me a lot of stress….

    Football starts, along with fantasy football….
    NFL kicks off soon…

    (lets not even add NBA into the mix)

    YIPEE!!!!! #UNITED

    Posted by ShoWade | August 5, 2011, 10:11 am
  37. Dear Footbal Fan,
    I’m glad you got this off your mind cos I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something similar.
    I know how you hate to watch ‘the gardener’s daughter’, ‘second chance’ and all the other mexican soaps, I’ll like you to look at the bright side, I’m trying to learn how to be more romantic.
    Since you’ll like your friends to colonize our sitting room for a good part of our lives, how about that LCD and DSTV I’ve been nagging you for in our bedroom but if you think its beyond your wallet, remember that other thing I’ve been nagging you for..to clear the garage. I’m sure you and your friends would be more comfy there.
    As for the beer, you know how football can be looud and all so I’ll prolly not here you when you’re screaming for beer..kindly fetch your own beer.( I love you baby).
    As for the sex, you know how these mexican films can be soo romantic..I’ll be in tears whilst you have a boner..not a pretty idea.
    *Sighs* I’m glad we both understand each other…that’s what love is all about isn’t it?
    Love You Puffin!

    Posted by no1chick | August 5, 2011, 10:11 am
  38. Can’t believe there wasn’t a wet friday post today! 😦
    But this is ok, I guess :p
    How cute…I have absolutely nothing to say. I mean it’s football. I have accepted that we girls are always going to have to deal with the slutty “man stealer” LOL!

    Posted by Cleo® | August 5, 2011, 10:14 am
  39. Ist 50? my stupid network caused dis. O well I still try….I’m used to stuff like dis wen d soccer season is on, my bf is a die hard arsenal fan, I share him with arsen wenger and his boys most of the year, I dnt do kitchen duties for him tho

    Posted by dunch | August 5, 2011, 10:43 am
  40. I love footie….

    Posted by talesofashoewhore | August 5, 2011, 10:45 am
  41. 10 measly months….. *rolling*

    Posted by dhamyhan | August 5, 2011, 10:47 am
  42. Ehen….EPL STARTS THIS WEEKEND…..PAPA I WONT BE COOKING LUNCH TILL MAY 2012

    SISTER I GOT UR DRIFTA…SO KILL URSEF AFRICA MAGIC YORUBA

    BROTHER….GET MY TICKETS FOR OCTOBER MATCHES

    BOYFRIEND…………

    NEPA….MY MIKANO IS ON STANDBY…. :p

    ITS GAME TIME…..”PLESS PRAY”

    Posted by ibetapassmynebo | August 5, 2011, 10:49 am
  43. no1chick……..LMAO!!!!! That’s so right on point. Lol

    Posted by anwuli | August 5, 2011, 10:50 am
  44. Hahahaha!!!!! I pity the nigga that wld tell me to be a great host to his 20 or more friends, them tell u say I no like to watch football…smh! Anyway, I wld not mind half time sex but the feeding et al, tell ur friends to come with chips and beer and we r good!
    After the match we wld clean together.

    Posted by taiofierce | August 5, 2011, 10:57 am
  45. Wale this must be fiction cos i know you dont like arsenal this much.

    Posted by yemmie | August 5, 2011, 11:01 am
  46. Good girl.

    Posted by yemmie | August 5, 2011, 11:01 am
  47. Well, I just want to say congratulations to the toolsman. Only became an ardent reader of dis blog a couple or say 3 months ago and I’ve been enlightened on so many different issues, became aquainted wit a lot of awesome, amazing peeps and its been fun really. I just wanna say dat I believe dat a year from now, u’ll av gone beyond where even u can imagine. More grease to ur elbow.

    Posted by tobicomm | August 5, 2011, 11:05 am
  48. @no1chick….dats so on point. Me I don’t mind d letter so far you accept my letter graciously and understand 100 percent too….

    Posted by Ritzie | August 5, 2011, 11:10 am
  49. Well i ges I’m a good gf cos dis scenario is how it z wen my bby’s friends com ova 4 a game. ☺☺☺…….every single detail….

    Posted by Sonia | August 5, 2011, 11:28 am
  50. “Half time sex is BAWSE”!!!! *laughs* (y)

    Posted by Moyo_A | August 5, 2011, 11:43 am
  51. You don’t want me to complain about u and football? Fine. Just don’t complain when I’m watching Glee and you suddenly want ‘attention’
    I can’t be anyone’s maid o! If you want to entertain your ‘friends’ then you go and buy beer and chips for them. I will be out with the girls shopping or chatting.
    Sikena!

    Posted by d3ola | August 5, 2011, 12:04 pm
  52. Boring people. My girlfriend plays FIFA with me, she is on my Fantasy League and of course we support 2 different teams from North London

    Posted by awoyamabo | August 5, 2011, 12:14 pm
  53. *now crying* i want a wet friday post!!!!! Toolsman y na?

    Posted by bootylet | August 5, 2011, 1:01 pm
  54. I also love footie..so who’s going to take care of the house girl role described up there?? And toolsman I was wondering if u do accept suggestions(topics) for discussions..

    Posted by jadesola | August 5, 2011, 1:41 pm
  55. Mr. Toolsman, since we’re talking about soccer, you’re dropping the ball.

    WTF is this?

    Posted by PreyingMantis | August 5, 2011, 2:35 pm
  56. Buhahhahahahhahah! Nice One

    Posted by MzDharmi | August 5, 2011, 3:14 pm
  57. I don’t get mad bout live soccer, its fifa and pro evo that kills me. Don’t try make me feel involved by saying “let me score a goal 4 u” or rubbing my legs or tryn to steal a kiss when the 2nd player is changing d settings. Worst part is when nepa takes light he suddenly realizes u are gud company or he’s hungry or horny. Go n meet ur pad. *hissss*

    Posted by bibi | August 5, 2011, 4:25 pm
  58. Dearest love, I totally understand. Kindly move back to ur mother’s house for the duration of the football. 15 mins lovemaking? U wish!! We both know that u don’t last longer than 5mins!! If I can’t watch desperate hhousewives with my girlfriends over a glass of chivita, there is no way in hell u guys are watching football over bottles of beer. I love you so much. P.s I’m keeping the dog in case we don’t survive this storm. Kisses

    Posted by brownsucre | August 5, 2011, 5:01 pm
  59. I hvnt d8d any guy dat loves fball. But his frnds r always com4table around me anyway. This means they love my food n call to cm round every sunday when I’m whipping it up *rme.
    If he does develop a love 4 it eventually, I shd b getting sm icecream n chocolates as I’m gettn their cans of beer.

    Posted by kunbillionaire | August 5, 2011, 5:34 pm
  60. FOOTBALL? Rubbish.

    Congrats on moving to the new site. I’ve been meaning to send you an email about some related stuff but being the unpredictable, lazy (yet awesome) fellow that I am, I’ve been postponing. Anyway, one day, the email will be sent.

    Again. Congrats! TheNakedConvos.com. Let’s go!

    Posted by ThinkTank! | August 5, 2011, 7:38 pm
  61. why so burnt?

    Posted by immortalteddybear | August 5, 2011, 7:39 pm
  62. The last post 😦
    O well its for something better…

    Posted by Kemmiiii | August 5, 2011, 9:21 pm
  63. Lmao, oshi, he should get his beer and chicken wings himself, I’m busy watching the match! Die hard arsenal fan baby!

    Posted by t3niola | August 6, 2011, 9:05 am
  64. LMAO! I loved this & this is my 2nd time visiting this blog (yea I’m stale like that), too bad this is the last post.
    Dear boyfriend, do not forget I’m a die hard soccer fan & I’ll be watching most, if not all the matches with u. I’ll try to get make sure refreshments are in the house but ur friends are all going into the kitchen to get their beer when they want, including u 😐 I’m not taking orders for u or ur friends when I’m watching football. As for the 15 mins sex, let’s make it 10. I need the extra 5 mins to prep myself for ur friends. I have to look my best everytime baby 😉 . Accept this, & u get whatever role play u want for the night. :*

    Posted by feline_eyes | August 6, 2011, 7:24 pm
  65. Dear bf, but you know I like football too and as a chelsea fan, I’ll forever make fun of ur dusty cabinet but you must not make fun of my team no matter what(you know how I feel abt it). And while we r it, nba and nfl seasons are about to start and you know how much I love the celtics and the saints also, US open is about to start, if roger federer or nadal are playing, please feel free to go and watch ur game in a sports bar. Thanks in advance

    Posted by @olufems | August 8, 2011, 1:15 am
  66. I just had to do a proper reply! check out my blog http://throughhellandhighwaters.blogspot.com/ i really like your writing!

    Posted by Reni | August 8, 2011, 10:11 am
  67. i see, august to may yea, so we will have only two months together, y not hire me as your house keeper indtead of keep me as your woman, smh

    Posted by Chronicles of the naÏve | September 20, 2011, 7:05 pm
  68. Buahahhahhahahahhaha

    Posted by Mcbeechee | August 27, 2013, 8:51 am

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