Hey people. Exactly a year ago today, I published my first post here reluctantly and that post has just 2 views. I didn’t put up another post till a month later. Who would have thought a year down the line, this same blog would have amassed almost 200k views and 10k comments. It’s been an incredible journey with a lot of reading, sleepless nights and amazing friends and acquaintances made along the way. Today is very emotional for me as this will be my last post on http://www.thetoolsman.wordpress.com. The blog has definitely outgrown the wordpress engine and with the rising number of spams and bots stopping by, I know the time is right to move.
In comes http://www.thenakedconvos.com, our new home. Remember it, bookmark it, save it. Why the naked convos? We’ve always been about driving conversations here. From the logical to the controversial and others. From Monday 8th of August 2011, we invite you to come stripping yourself of all restrictions as our posts go up on http://www.thenakedconvos.com but not to worry, we’ll have all the old posts and comments from here moved there as well. Also, you can look forward to a whole lot more on the new site. We’ll be introducing some new categories, new writers, more giveaways and of course, events.
What better way to leave here than serving y’all with one last giveaway? In respect to our Muslim readers currently observing the month of Ramadan, the usual Wet Fridays category will take a break for a while but not to worry, trust us to always keep you engaged. Today, I bring to you, a post supported by the good people at Tactics IQ as part of their activities towards the Season 3 of the Soccer Fiesta billed to hold from 12noon at the Campos Mini Stadium Lagos Island tomorrow. Today’s post is for the blog jacking category. It’s taken from one of my blogging mentors, Dr. J. from that site we all love so much Single Black Male. Enjoy.
You know that I appreciate you. I appreciate you so much. I enjoy talking to you, spending time with you, and just generally spending afternoons on the couch snuggled up with you reading a good book. We both have busy schedules so I know that most weekdays we hardly speak with the exception of hi and bye, and getting ready for bed in the evening. Friday nights we usually make time to grab dinner and Saturdays are usually filled with errands or attending functions that we’ve both been invited to attend as a couple. Sundays are our day. And I think that most couples would agree, Sunday is that day that you can spend with your significant other and everything is perfect. Sunday hugs, kisses, naps, and a good movie are the way to go.
Because I really appreciate that time with you, it pains me that I regret to inform you, that football is starting. This may be hard for you to understand and that’s why I took this time to write you this letter. I thought you would appreciate me getting my feelings out on paper.
I only get two days a week to watch football (well, except when the Champions League begins) because it only airs weekends. Football starts at noon on Saturday, but lasts until Sunday evening. Let me explain, it’s because the games are so great that as men we cheer for an encore even if it kills us. I need this time, this time reminds me that I’m a man and that manly blood runs through my veins.
Also, several of my friends will come over to watch games, or we may go to a sports bar. If I’m not in attendance I will be considered a bad friend and my manhood will undoubtedly be questioned. They will think that while men are being men, I’m probably locked in house with a blanket and hot tea watching a romantic movie. And babe, I love those movies, but I don’t love it when my boys laugh at me.
As it pertains to logistics, I’d like to discuss a few things. I’m an Arsenal fan, and although you may not like Arsenal, it would probably be best if you went ahead and acted like you did. I get emotional. My fan hood is deeply rooted and not easily moved. Anything you say, I probably already know, and have known for some time now. For example, “Baby the man just said Arsenal haven’t won a trophy in six seasons?! Is that a good thing?” That’s only going to make it worse. Don’t add salt to open wounds, just do what I do. And when I’m upset, just pat me on the back and tell me to keep drinking my beer.
If I have people over to my apartment for a game while you’re here, please be a great host. I would like to be as helpful as possible; however, my time is limited because I’m expected to be sitting in the living room watching the games at all times. I will need you to be in charge of taking orders, ordering food, serving food and providing beverages for everyone. This will be a lot easier for you if you buy the booze on Fridays when we’re out running errands. If being in the kitchen while the guys are watching the games bothers you, I’ve heard that some women take up hobbies such as cooking homemade shawarmas or perfecting the perfect chicken wings. There are several recipes online, feel free to try it out. I’ll be your guinea pig. (Kisses.)
During halftime is when most guys will break to call their girlfriends, wives, or sidepieces. Some guys will need a few more minutes just to get up to speed on fantasy scores. However, this is a good time for us to spend about 15 minutes together. And I can’t think of a better place to be doing that than in the bedroom. Yes, sex at halftime is BAWSE! It’s our way of staying connected and it’s also a stress reliever.
I’m glad I took the time to sit down and write you this letter. I feel so much better now that I’ve gotten this off my chest. I was so worried that you would be upset, but I think that now that I’ve expressed my feelings to you, you’ll understand 100%. If you want to talk about this later, please let me know, I’m always open to talking to you and hearing your thoughts. Lastly, know that, football only runs from August until May. (That’s 10 measly months!) Later we’ll discuss midweek football, but it shouldn’t be a problem at all, since you’ll be used to it by then, however we should talk about it just in case. Talk to you soon!
With Love and Admiration,
Your Honey Bunches of Oats
There you go. I’m sure a lot of guys reading will thank me for this post. As for the ladies, what will be your response to a letter like this sent to you from your boyfriend?
As for the giveaway, I have two tickets. They’ll go to the 10th and 20th people to tweet #TacticsIQsoccerFiesta to the twitter handle @TacticsIQ. Goodluck.
UPDATE: PICTURES FROM #TNC1 ON Ynaija –> http://j.mp/oa3xY1
Hey guys, it’s been a while since I put up posts in other categories here but I got into a convo with a colleague that got me to go dig up something I’d read online sometime back.
It’s either that or something to pacify the A-Zed fans for the news I’m about to give. lol. Well, for those who follow me on twitter, I informed them that A-Zed will be on break this week as I still have quite a bit of transcribing to do before the final 3 episodes. (yes, one episode is so long, it might be in two parts). *Now weaving and ducking eggs and tomatoes* I promise the wait will be well worth it.
Ok, so on to todays post:
This past Friday was like any other Friday. I was sitting at my desk doing work and counting down the minutes until the weekend. The iPod Touch was going strong and I think I may have been singing some Stylistics track as if nobody else was in my section of the office. Unfortunately for me, one of my lady co-workers heard me and laughed. It was honestly a little embarrassing to hear my co-worker chuckling at me, but at the same time it was better she caught me singing that type of music and not “Hey Ho!” by Ludacris or “My Gun Go Off” by 50 Cent. The ensuing discussion went from music to relationships. Being in the field of Human Resources, I wondered if I should have even been discussing my thoughts on relationships in the office. Then again, I think people expect HR folk to be all warm, cuddly, and excellent bakers. I don’t think they ever expect HR folk to be big black men like myself. **Shrugs** Oh well…
Much like many of the other women I’ve worked with in my professional life, she asked about my personal relationship status. She inquired about the longest time I had been with one woman, how many women I had serious relationships with, how my faith affected my relationships,
if I preferred missionary vs. being rode off into the sunset and a variety of other questions that would normally be annoying. Luckily it was Friday and the music had me in a good mood so I obliged. And once I answered, she sat back for a second and didn’t say anything. Then came the utterance that provided today’s post:
Hmm. I’m surprised by the amount of time you were single between girlfriends. Most men don’t know how to be single.
I was facing my desk doing a whole lot of nothing before she said this. But upon hearing what she said, I had no choice but to do the following:
With as much talk as there is about players, friends with benefits, cut buddies, and an overall shortage of men that allows them to play the field nowadays, I couldn’t believe she was saying men don’t know how to be single. The conversation got interesting at this point. I went for the jugular and told her that men aren’t the emotional creatures. We may be territorial, but we’re
typically not the emotional ones that often look for a connection in the form of a relationship or through coitus. I would have probably been reported and written up under normal circumstances, but since I’m the person that does the writing up and documentation…yeah. I was cool.lol.
Now I’ll be honest. I do know some
a lot of sucka ass dudes men that always have a girl. I don’t think it’s because they’re emotionally needy. I just think they like consistency of bunz. Sometimes it sucks to have to go out and put in work just to pacify the carnal urge to submerge in warm lady oasis. It’s nice to come home, get it poppin’, and have a false sense of security that she’s yours. Now had my co-worker said some men don’t know how to go without s*x for extended amounts of time, I would have cosigned and there would be no post today. Well, there would have been a post. The backup topic involved me, a cowboy hat, a woman, and d-cups. Anyways…
I don’t buy the whole “men don’t know how to be single” thing. This wasn’t the first time I heard it, but I was surprised by who I was hearing it from. I know that we, both genders included, all have needs. It doesn’t matter if they’re physical or emotional. A man who has to always have a boo-type chick around is no worse than a woman that needs to be the center of attention and have multiple dudes courting her for her to feel validated. I don’t condone either circumstance, but honestly if it’s not my life it isn’t my problem
until I pick up the phone and have to listen.
What do you think of this particular battle of the sexes? Do men have more difficulty being single compared to women? Are women more so the ones that struggle in this area? Do you have friends who always have to have a boo?How do you handle long bouts of singleness?
So, thats it. Are there other guy’s out there who often stay single for long spells and agree with the writer? Have your say…
Jacked from SBM
To begin with, if you came here looking for answers to the question posed in the post title, I’m sorry, but you can stop reading now. Yes, now. Truth is, if I knew the answer to this question, I would be either, (a), very rich, or (b), very dead. Seeing that I’m neither, you can rest easy knowing I’m just as confused as you are.
That being said, I shelved my initially planned post for this cause I was out with a bunch of friends on Saturday and on our way home, whilst stuck in traffic, conversation swayed to this topic. What really got me thinking was how everyone seemed to have their own opinion but before we arrived at our destination, one opinion seemed to have towered above the others.
So what do guys think women want?
As far as I’m concerned every woman just wants and needs the right amount of attention for her. Yes, it’s not the same for all women. Some are definitely more independent that others. While some want you calling them every chance you get, others just need to know that you’re alive. Does it have anything to do with age, upbringing, education or level of exposure? Probably. More like definitely. I don’t think most working women would require the same amount of attention as women still in the university.
Well, they shouldn’t, except for special cases where her work isn’t so demanding and she has so much time to kill. The bottom-line is, a simple phone call/text message/BBM message (depending on the level of the relationship) just to say good morning, one to see how the day is going in the afternoon and one last one (preferably a phone call this time) to wrap up the day, goes a long way. A lot of women hate the fact that guys only pay them attention when they want that poom poom. Even if that’s the plan, please try not to make it so obvious. Don’t call her out of the blues today and ask for her to come over to your crib the next day (well, except she’s err.. that kinda gurl).
I just think it all boils down to comfort. Give a girl what she needs, when she needs it (maybe how too ☺) and you have her sprung. Agreed, it could be very costly depending on your taste in women. In fact, I hear the going rate for university gurls nowadays is no joke. Gone are the days when you just buy them a drink at Insomnia, have an amazing night and leave some change for them to get home with. Nowadays, a year two unilag gurl lets you know from the get go that she has to leave your transaction with a Bold 3 – nothing less.
However, this is what things have come to. Call it buying happiness or love or whatever but that’s reality. You’ve got to pay your way through the many movies at the cinema, the many lunch and dinner dates, the several comedy and music shows, don’t forget credit, money for fuel when you go pick her up and sometimes food and gifts for her friends too.
C: Future Security
Is this really that hard? I mean, if I was a woman I would want only one thing too: to secure my future. Period. She could go at it alone but since society and culture have more or less made it compulsory for her to get married, she might as well pick a man that would help further secure this future. Before you get all defensive and liken this to Mr. B above, selecting a man for the purpose of future security doesn’t always have to mean picking the currently richest guy on your case. Women have a gift some of them don’t even know. A woman can meet a guy for the first time, look into his eyes and see years into his future. Every woman can smell prospects from a mile away and that’s what they want.
She doesn’t event care if the wedding isn’t the one she dreamt of as a little gurl, when things are right, she could have another one. They even have a name for it (renewal of vows). She might not have a car as at the time of the wedding, but she knows that Bentley GT is coming. And for her kids, the best of the best of the best education. Trust me, if you have all of this covered, she will become totally blind to every other thing you do.
Well, everyone has given their opinions and I guess I pretty much agree in one way or the other with all of you. But you see, all that you guys have said boils down to one thing – control. Every woman wants control over her man, over her brother and her son. Now when I say control, some might be quick to think of it as power. Well, power, yes, but not in the obvious (or manly) form. If a woman snaps her fingers and three men bark, that’s probably jazz. The kind of control I’m talking about is subliminal. The type some mothers use to convince their sons to take other wives or the type a wife uses to get her husband to pay for things without her asking.
This control is systematically gained over a period of time (the how? Is the big question here). Some have said it’s through good sex, others have said through good food. I honestly do not know. But, women from the older generations learnt how to gain this control and also keep it. This is what women from our generation haven’t mastered, hence the huge amount of divorces out there. I’ll give you an example:
A wife picks up her husbands BB and sees a message from him to another woman:
“please don’t break my heart”.
Upon returning, she questions her husband about the message. Husband responds and says:
“Its nothing really. Why all the fuss”.
Wife continues to pester husband and he says:
“but woman, why are you disturbing me, you know I’m naturally promiscuous, you’ve seen me with several other women before and you have never complained so what then is the issue this time”?
I don’t give a damn about your other women. It’s her I want to know, and how come she has you talking about heartbreak.
This little excerpt was a true-life story. I’ve heard several others where women openly admit to knowing about their husbands cheating but really don’t care as long as they come back home to them. Now that’s control.
Well, so, there you go people (even though there was a lil’ voice between C and D that said: They just want to rip your heart out of your ass). Like I said, I really don’t have an answer to this question so maybe you can help me out, do you think any of my friends are right or you have your own answer, please let me know. Cheers.
A lot of women like to say “I’m a player” or “I’m treating these guys just like they treat us”. They come to this conclusion because they sleep with a bunch of guys and feel like they don’t get emotionally attached and are just using these people for sex. They claim they “control their sexuality” and identify with Samantha of “Sex and The City” (yes … I watched the show) … but sadly … 95% of them are mistaken. To that mistaken majority … listen to me now:
YOU ARE A ho ho @#$*!
I’m just tired of these girls who are really promiscuous and loose thinking they are doing something special. You’re not! Just because you’re capable of sleeping with a lot guys does not make you special. Some call it a double standard (because a guy who can sleep with a lot of women may very well be a player) … and it may be … but then again life is filled with double standards. Fresh manicures are necessary for men. Short hair looks better on guys. Paying on the first date is almost a requirement for males. Accept them.
To be a female player, there are certain requirements to be called a female player. Here is a small list of criteria defining the “Female Player”:
You have a solid “team” of highly desirable men
You can’t be a player if you only have one guy. And you can’t be a player if your guys are all the people nobody wants. Any woman who considers herself a player, needs to have at her disposal a group of men that genuinely want her, show it, and she is not just sleeping with. You can sleep with people on the team … I’m not saying that … but if they’re staying around because of sex (as a woman … its almost impossible for you to know this) … then you’re not a player (and you might be a ho in his eyes) … but if its not the case … you might be a player.
You don’t have to sleep with a guy to get dinner, dates, and attention
It’s easy to get sex from a guy. Often times we’ll sleep with anyone as long as they are willing. Having money spent on you is significantly harder, but still not that hard. A lot of guys, especially the easy ones, are quick to spend money. When you get a combination of time & money; that is significant. Time being the key thing … as guys, we’re stingy with it … so to get a lot of time without giving sex for a prolonged period of time (2+ months) from several people … you might just be a player.
Your guys stay “in the game” for long periods of time (3+ months)
Most guys suffer from Relationship ADD and are quick to lose interest. I know this happens with plenty of males … so if you find that the people you are “entertaining” stay around for extended periods of time (without sex … cause sex will keep anyone around for ages) … then you might be a player.
Your guys say they love you and show it
“We don’t love them hoes” … a famous quote by Snoop Doggy Dogg and a general law of the land for men. If your a hoe or thought of as a hoe … then he should not and probably will not show you real love. If your people truly love you … you might be a player.
Your guys get mad and upset at you
Hoes and jumpoffs are not worth getting upset over. We might be mad that the “free sex” is over, but general we’re not going to expend that type of energy over a “second class citizen”. If the people on your team express hurt, caring, anger, disappointment, and other emotions his friend will clown him for … you might be a player.
So, there you go, I hope this was useful to the women out there … because this one goes out to you. I’m just tired of randy shagsons thinking they’re special (and not all women are hoes … I’m specifically talking to the hoes) because the title of player is not easily earned. Just to argue for the other side, there are a lot of guys thinking they are players (many of them simpletons in reality) … and I will touch on that subject shortly. Have a great weekend.
Jacked from SBM
Let me preface this by saying I’m not a “chubby chaser” or anything of the sort, but the other day I saw a woman that some might consider a “big girl” that caught my eye. She wasn’t big in the sense of obese, but big in terms of height and just the overall “solidness” of her frame. She was older, pretty in the face, had her hair done and a well put together outfit. She was proof positive that just because someone is a “big girl,” it doesn’t mean that she can’t have it going on. It got me to thinking, are there any plus-size sisters that do it for me?
Although I’m a slim guy of average height and not trying to be towered over by my woman, there are a few plus-sized sisters that have caught my eye. I’m a brother that can appreciate some meat on a woman’s bones as long as it’s healthy and she maintains some sort of keen fashion sense—that goes for any woman regardless of size—you’re okay in my book. In terms of attraction, mental compatibility is always the most important thing, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say physical attraction didn’t play a major role as well. As long as a woman is shapely and confident enough to turn me on when she’s naked with socks on we should be good to go. The lady lumps just gotta be ladylike and not just lumps (Sorry).
There are plenty of women that don’t fit the stereotypical mold that are quite attractive. I see them every day in my travels and more and more of them are starting to get into the spotlight. It’s like the powers that be are finally rethinking that outdated model from the World War II era that has long been the benchmark for what the “average” size for a woman is. It’s long overdue, because when you have a chart that says the average woman is a size 8 when most real women today are a more like a size 12, it’s was only a matter of time before the staunch world of fashion and entertainment caught on.
In honor of this new era of the big girl, I decided to compile my own personal list of sisters that some might consider “plus-size” but I feel have it going on. Fellas, chime in if you feel these ladies do it for you, too. Who said big can’t be beautiful? (Sorry, Mo’Nique didn’t make my list:).
Remixed but Jacked from NWSO
I have heard people make the argument that you are never supposed to take of your wedding ring …What! Never take off your wedding ring? That’s craziness. So as a young unmarried bachelor, I have looked into my future and come up with my list of: When you can take of your wedding ring!
1. It’s itching
This is self-explanatory. Leave something on too long and the skin under it gets a little irritated. Let your finger breathe. Besides, if Meaghan Goode suddenly walks past me … I assume it would get really itchy and start to burn too.
2. Show someone the inscription
Assuming you got an inscription from your love one on the inside, won’t you want your best friend to see it?
3. You’re walking through the ‘hood’ and might be robbed
Not just any hood … I mean its got to be the ‘zanga’. Like where Thugnificent of “The Boondocks” grew up. Like anything might happen, the police don’t know the place exists, and babies selling weed. She’ll be mad if you don’t come home with it.
4. You’re about to get your finger licked by a stripper
Because it’s a stripper … its OK to get your finger licked (she a professional. Is your husband going to get jealous of your gynecologist?). But … not all strippers are to be trusted … so you might want to take of that platinum band before she wets your finger.
5. You’re smacking an ass that isn’t your wife
I respect the sanctity of marriage. Therefore, if you’re going to smack a random ass, perhaps one of the dancers at your friend’s bach eve, you should respect the ring and not befoul it with the ass sweat of another.
6. You’re cupping a stripper’s jugs
Again, its a stripper so its not wrong, and same principal as #5 … don’t befoul the ring.
7. To prove you “still got it” to hating friends.
If any of you watched Martin, there was an episode where Tommy and Cole told Martin that the only thing attracting women to him was his wedding ring and that he couldn’t “pull ‘em” like he used to. As a man, we have an obligation to prove our friends wrong no matter how dumb and pointless the challenge may be (had a friend who jumped through a campfire cause … well … another story). So he therefore took off his ring (and lost it) to prove to them he could still get women … which he did!
So there it is. If you are caught in photographs without a wedding ring, just refer to this handy list to quickly and easily justify the removal of the ring. Any other reason’s you can think of, please help out by leaving a comment. I know there has to be one I’m missing.
**Disclaimer**: This is a joke. Leave your wedding ring on peoples.
Jacked from SBM
I’m in the mood for trouble this morning. I’ve had little or no sleep and I had to be at work before 7am so why not. I came across a debate online last week about women wanting simple things, which we men often cant give. When most women are asked what it is they look for in men, the answer almost always goes something like, … I just want a real man; caring, affectionate, financially stable and of course, good looking.
Well, I agree with that answer. Truth is it’s similar to the response expected from guys. However, upon closer examination, I singled out the term “real man”. Yes. What exactly do they mean by that. I ask this question because turning the tables and taking the literal meaning, the term “real woman” means something completely different and probably close to extinction nowadays.
Hold on. Don’t yell just yet. The word ‘real’ is defined as: something actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed in the dictionary but maybe that’s too broad. For the purpose of this write up, I shall narrow my scope to looks. I was at the Lord of the Ribs event last night (reason for my short night) and most some of the gurls I saw got me wondering just how ironic things are. Women expect us to be completely honest but the same cant be said for how some women present themselves to men. Their words may be true but that’s where it stops. Eyes, hair, body e.t.c. Some women go to great lengths to create an alternate version of themselves. It’s gotten to the point where men have to openly question if a woman is “real or not.”
Why are women doing this? Is there a belief that this is what a man wants? Or are they simply attempting to mask their own insecurities? One thing’s sure; the more I talk to other men about this, the more I notice the growing displeasure with this alarming upward trend of “fake” women. Before you bite me, let me state that I’m not a cave man and I’m all for women getting dulled up to look nicer. Lip gloss – brilliant. Lipstick – sexy. (Or should I say, can be sexy). Hair, nails e.t.c but as with most things in life, there’s that line (however thin) between just enough and excessive.
To further illustrate, I have included some images below. Look through them and please share your comments (especially the women). Deuces.
I love lashes, when they don’t look like thorns. Imagine waking up next to a girl after a night out to find her lashes somewhere on her face.
Honestly, I don’t mind these but I’ve spoken to guys who absolutely hate them.
I went to a homegirl’s birthday party last week. Me and my friend were posted up at the bar when our friend Wendy popped up (and out). As soon as I turned around to greet her, all I could see were her breasts, which where right at eye level and on full display thanks to her buttoned down button-up blouse. Since Wendy is like a sexy stepsister to me—fly as hell but too cool to go there with—I immediately raised my hand to shield the view of her fun bags and demanded she cover them up.
“What are you talking about,” she chuckled. “They’re just titties.”
“Yes, I know, but we don’t need to be looking at your breasts right now,” I replied. “So put them away.”
“I’m not gonna fall into your boobie trap.”
“What the hell is a boobie trap?”
“Those,” I said, pointing at her chest.
A “boobie trap” is what I call a woman’s cleavage when she leaves it exposed. See, men are visual creatures and by nature we’re drawn to shapely women—especially to their, uh, frontal chest region. Maybe it’s something in our genetic makeup or that we’re just horn balls, but men like breasts and we look at them every chance we get. Half the time we don’t even know we’re doing it—it’s just an uncontrollable reflex.
I’ll be the first to confess that I’ve caught myself absentmindedly looking at a woman’s chest. I’ll never leer in a psycho, perverted kinda way, but my eyes tend to get drawn to just about 12 inches below a women’s eye level on a regular bases. I’m not trying to objectify you, degrade you or disrespect you, so when I find myself falling into a boobie trap I try my best to get out of it as soon as possible, like I did with Wendy.
As much as Wendy wants to play innocent, she knew exactly what she was doing when she put that shirt on and decided not to do those last few buttons. Because any woman rockin’ a low-cut blouse with a shiny necklace nestled oh so gently between her soft and supple bosoms (drool) knows that men’s eyes are gonna make a beeline straight to her cleavage. It’s even worst for top-heavy women wearing something revealing, because both men and women are probably gonna sneak a peak. There’s nothing wrong with looking, it’s just a matter of not being too disrespectful. Look but don’t touch. Stare but don’t leer. We mean no harm (well, most of us). One quick glance and we’ll be gone. But it’s like a Lays potato chip, sometimes you can’t have just one…peak. But that’s when you get…
By the boss’ wife (uh-oh)
By your best friend’s sister (sorry)
By the girl across from you on the train/bus/plane, et al. (My bad)
By the practically every damn woman (oops)
Fellas, I know we like to think we’re slick when we try to grab a quick glance, but we will always get caught. Women have some sort of built in radar that let’s them know when we’re looking at their girls. Some will make their disgust quite obvious, while others just ignore it because they’ve become immune to it. But that doesn’t mean that she didn’t catch you, homie. We’re just not as slick as we think we are.
Sometimes guys try to fight the natural instinct to look, which winds up being the most awkward thing in the world. That’s when a guy stares directly into a woman’s eyes as he’s talking to her to let her know his eyes are not wandering. Or, we do the complete opposite and look everywhere but below eye level. We’ll be looking at the top of your head or straight up at the ceiling. By time the conversation is over, we’ll know how many light bulbs are in every room. The goal is to do anything to stop from looking down, but if it’s a long conversation, you’re doomed to fail. The urge to look at a woman’s chest is just too strong. (Yes, it really is). Breasts aren’t going anywhere any time soon (Thank God), and as long as women keep setting their boobie traps, men are gonna get caught looking. Happy hunting, ladies.
Ladies, how often do you catch men looking at your chest? Are you flattered by it or disgusted? Does it depend on who’s falling into your boobie trap? Any women willing to admit to wearing low-cut tops just to get attention? Do some women use their boobie traps to get things out of men? How funny is it when you catch a guy trying not to stare but you know he wants to? Fellas, what joy do you get out of looking at a nice pair of boobies? How awkward is it for you when you try not to stare?
Let’s hear your coments, views, opinions…..
Jacked From: NWSO
Hey guys, its blog jacking Friday again and this week I must confess it was so hard picking a post to put up…soooo many good stuff out there. Anyways, here’s my pick, hope you like it.
Sounds simple enough, but in an age where we text, FaceBook, tweet, BBM and do everything but pick up a phone and call, a man making an effort to reach out to talk to a woman speaks volumes. I’m a notorious multi-tasker that falls victim to the ease of electronic communication but it lacks the personal nuances of direct communication.
It’s one thing to have someone call me and I hold a conversation, but if I find myself thinking of a female and longing to hear her voice, chances are I’m feeling her in some way. Drunk dials and booty calls don’t count, only conversations where the man is expressing genuine interest in getting to know a woman.
A lot of people don’t realize it, but listening is an art form. Half of the time when people are talking we’re not listening to the other person we’re only waiting to interject with our own response. Men are the guiltiest of this because a lot of women are longwinded and tend to ramble. Hey, that’s probably sexist but for argument’s sake let’s just say that it’s true.
I’ve found myself caught up in plenty of one-sided conversations with women where I could give a rat’s ass about what she was talking about. Whenever I catch myself spacing out and having no interest in her story or what she finds important, I take that as a sign that this woman isn’t the one for me. Yeah, she might be cute and I could be attracted to her; but if she can’t hold my interest in conversation then what’s the point?
On the flipside, when I’m paying attention and communication is flowing both ways there might be hope. In fact, it’s usually when I’m listening and actually interested that I remember important things like a woman’s birthday, favorite flower, movie or color, how many siblings she has and what she said 10 minutes ago. Conversations about sex don’t count, again, only ones where a man is genuinely interested in getting to know a woman.
HE’LL GO SHOPPING WITH YOU
Ever since I was little boy I hated going shopping with my mother because it was long, tedious and ultra boring. As an adult, I’ve had pretty much the same experience during shopping sprees with the fairer sex. Women stop at every store and section, fawning over the cutest dress/skirt/sweater/blouse/top/jacket, weighing the options of ever accessory and trying on every pair of shoes on sale—no matter if they already have something in the exact same color.
Any man that gets dragged along for the experience is usually bored out of his mind. He’s stuck standing outside the dressing room waiting for her to make a selection out of the several items she’s decided to try on, only to repeat the process as she discovers something that she’s missed while en route to the register. If given the option, most men will pass on the tagalong shopping experience.
However, when a man’s feeling a woman he might not only grin and bear it, but actually participate. A straight man that appreciates how his woman looks might willingly chime in on her outfit and enjoy the mini-modeling show of having her try on different outfits for his approval. Trips to Victoria’s Secret don’t count because what man wouldn’t appreciate a potential lingerie peep show.
HE’LL WATCH/DO SOMETHING HE WOULDN’T NORMALLY
Men are very particular about certain things, especially movies and TV shows. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard men say how they’ve never seen Brokeback Mountain based off the fact it’s a homosexual love story. But if a woman they were really feeling was dying to see that film or something comparable and equally woman-friendly (i.e. Sex & the City and any one of Tyler Perry’s movies) there’s a strong possibility he might bend.
I for one have been roped into watching something I never thought I would because of a woman I was feeling or in love with. My college/live-in girlfriend had a thing for Golden Girls and every night she would watch it, while I’d much rather check out Star Trek: The Next Generation, but because she was my boo I bit the bullet and suffered through Blanche, Dorothy Rose and Sophia’s antics night after night. I now cringe anytime I come across that show.
I’ve also been subjected to watching shows like Bridezilla, Bad Girls Club and the Food Network, as well as sappy chick flicks, for the sake of a woman that had my heart. Sometimes, as with Bad Girls Club, which features scantily clad women cat fighting, I secretly learned to like the shows, but I’d be damned if I admitted that to any of my boys. (Technically, I just did though—Doh!). But a man that gives up control of the remote (and movie tickets) to a woman is a sign he’s feeling you in my book.
For the most part, men are not emotional creatures so crying is the ultimate form of opening up. Now, it’s not like guys are running around shedding tears at every opportunity but in the rare instances where one does it should be noted. Crying is a major display of vulnerability and if a man breaks down in front of a woman because of a death in the family or a similarly tragic experience it displays a considerable amount of trust in her.
Speaking from experience, I’ve shed a tear or two in the past during an intense heart to heart with the then-woman in my life about the death of my grandfather or some painful experience. Being able to express myself in that way was extremely difficult but showed a level of emotional intimacy that a man wouldn’t just share with anyone.
The flipside of the crying scenario is a man shedding tears at the end of a relationship. If a man had no feelings for the woman at all it would be no problem, but a man breaking down over a breakup shows that he truly cared about her. The fake sobs of a man busted for cheating don’t count, though.
HE’LL SAY “I LOVE YOU,” …AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT
Anyone can say “I love you,” but actually meaning it is a whole other ball game. The hard part is discerning when a man is being genuine and not just running game. If the L-word gets uttered during the throes of passion, then it should be taken with a grain of salt, as good sex will make people say and do almost anything. The true test of a man’s feelings comes from his actions.
I’m the type of individual that only says what I mean, so if “I love you” spews out of my mouth there should be an understanding that I mean it. However, not everyone is as honorable. There are individuals that will claim they love you until they’re blue in the face, yet these are the ones who are continually cheating and lying. As I’ve said before, words have no real value without meaning.
Man in love with a woman will not only say it but he will show it. He’ll call you when he misses you. He’ll listen to you when you’re talking. He’ll make sacrifices to make you happy. He’ll be emotionally available and willing to express himself with you. He’ll mean what he says and do whatever it takes to make you feel like the most important woman in the world.
Do you appreciate someone that’s interested in you actually calling as opposed to texting? How important is voice-to-voice communication in determining whether or not you like someone? Do you agree that listening is an art form? Does good conversation enhance your attraction for someone? Do you appreciate someone that’s willing to sacrifice their time to do something you’re interested in? Do you see crying as a very intimate experience between two people? Would you lose or gain respect for someone that was able to cry in front of you? Have you ever said “I love you” and not meant it? Why? What signs do you use to tell if someone is genuinely in love with you?
Ok, there you go people, do you agree/disagree? Have your say.
Hey guys. So I’ve decided to introduce some new categories just to keep things interesting. First up is “Blog Jacking Friday”. The idea is pretty much self explanatory so here goes….Enjoy.
As I sit here enjoying my solitude, I try to put myself in a man’s shoes and gravitate towards his thinking process. After many attempts at this feat, the only success I have had is in managing to acquire a headache. I never have and probably never will understand some of the decisions, logic (sometimes lack of), and reasoning that the average man has. I am not a man hater. I am however, someone who will hold anyone accountable for their actions and bulls**t behaviors. I’m only being real….
1. Spending A Ridiculous Amount Of Time With Your Friends
Most women could care less about whether or not their man spends time with his boys. It only becomes a problem when their man starts to put their guys before their woman. Why in the world should it ever be okay for you to spend more time with your guys and place them before your woman? Yet you still expect for your woman to be the one that washes your clothes, cooks for you, and caters to you sexually and emotionally? Wah! Then you get mad when she asks you are you gay?
2. Getting Into A Relationship When You Want To Live Single
If you want to be able to slang pole freely then why even play the game? Why even tell a chick “yeah baby, its just you and me”? Why not just keep it funky with the chick you are dealing with and tell her that you dig her but you want the relationship to be open. Believe it or not, there are many women who would go for that. It becomes your problem when you start to lie, cheat and sneak behind your woman’s back and make faux commitments. Then you are upset when your windows to your new car are busted. I’m just sayin…
3. Lose A Good Woman, Then Wife Up A MuskRAT
Why do men screw up a relationship with a good woman who treats them like a king and then start dating a woman who is not worth their effort? She could be the biggest whore in their neighborhood, have a vagina like a cesspool, and use men till they are bone dry, and still get love. The kicker is that once she finally screws them over for the last time and they finally figure out that this woman is no good, they find another good woman, but are so resentful and bitter from their last relationship that they are unwilling or unable to treat this woman with any appreciation. Thus continues the cycle of stupidity.
4. Trying To Gain Access To The Danger Zone
Men have a fascination with women and anal s*x. They are always trying to maneuver themselves in the sacred hole where things are only supposed to go out not come in. Anal s*x is a horrible painful, unnatural, activity in my opinion. Therefore, no we don’t think it is cute when you accidentally slip it into the danger area. Stay away from my naughty hole!
5. You Don’t Have To Be King Kong
Men need to feel like they are their woman’s biggest, and best lay. She needs to see doves fly when he enters her erogenous zone. She needs to climb walls, speak Swahili, and praise his name. Sorry guys, not every man is King Kong.
6. You Are Not Jesus And She Is Not The Virgin Mary
Is there such thing as a male parthenophobic? (fear of virgins) Most men don’t necessarily prefer virgins but her sexual exploits better not outnumber his or all hell is going to break loose. Newsflash: Just as you have had your hot fun in the summer nights, so have we. In other words, stop expecting for the woman that you have or plan on wifing up to be less experienced than you. She had a s*x life before you, just like you did and you are not the first (or the last) who will want to get all in that.
7. The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side Complex
No dear, not every woman is going to want you. So there is no need for you to fear commitment and think that you might be missing out on something. Now, I’m aware that there are more men than women in this world, however, not every woman is going to want you! Love the chick that is giving a damn about you today.
If, You Don’t Say It, I Will