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Black Hollywood

Hey guys, so I decided to skip “Wet Fridays” this week. Why? Well, cause there’s just so much you can talk about when it comes to sex (ok, that’s not true). Anyways, it’s been pretty serious up in here this week especially with that post on the presidential elections so I’ve decided to ease out the seriousness a bit with yet another “not-so-list” of things Hollywood has taught me about black people as collated from friends, family and the internet. Here goes:

1. Playground basketball tournaments, street dance-offs, rap battles, and even step competitions are life and death propositions.

2. When a woman is about to leave a serious relationship she changes her hair

3. Only non-black teachers effectively help the worst students in the worst school of any urban distinct.

4. All black brothers in the US are wealthy even if they push a meat van (ask LL)

5. Don’t trust her with your man

6. Don’t trust him with your woman

7. Black cops all apparently make a sh*tload of money. (Ask Will Smith & Samuel L.J.)

8. All black churches are full of singing talent.

9. Police will always shoot first and ask questions later.

10. Black people never listen to any of the following genres: Rock, Country, Pop, Punk, Metal, or techno.

11. There are hardly any black people in the future

12. All big mommas (aka grandmothers) always have a striking resemblence to aunt jemima?

13. Doesn’t matter how incompatible two people may be they can fall in love over the most random of things e.g. basketball, hip hop e.t.c.

14. Black families don’t go on vacation often and when they do, they DRIVE down to visit long lost family members in the south

15. If it takes place before 1970, then all white people are the devil.

16. In the hood, you always have to make the choice between doing a job that involves illegal activity or going the straight and narrow track.

17. Black women in the movies don’t mind getting their weave messed up during sex. AT ALL.

So there’s the list, time for you guys to chip in. Use the comment box and speak your mind and please remember to go out early enough to vote tomorrow. Cheers.

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