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Dilemma

“Why are you yelling?”

“You want the neighbours to call the cops?”

“I don’t give a f*ck” she yelled again.

“Who the f*ck is she?”

“You Better not lie to me cause I found the receipt in your wallet. I just can’t believe you would do this to me… not after all we’ve been through. Say something Tyree!”

*pause*

I’m Tyree, and the lady yelling at me is Keisha, my wife of 3 years. Keisha and I have been through hell together; she had my back when I had no one to turn to. She’s my life and I’ve promised myself that no matter what, I will do anything and everything to make and keep her happy. I love my wife more than life itself and I never meant to hurt her.

We’ve been living in our two-bedroom apartment for about two years now and sometimes, her family comes to visit. Three months ago, her cousin and her mom stopped by unexpectedly. Whenever they come, I try to be on my best behaviour. Her mum doesn’t like me cause she thinks I’m not good enough for her daughter (sometimes I think she’s right).

Ms. Ross is a 42 year old widowed society woman; a confirmed MILF. However, unlike her daughter she’s downright annoying and mean (to me at least). Monica (Keisha’s cousin) is also petite and sexy as hell but she’s a whore; everybody knows this. She’s always trying to make me do things with her but I never give into temptation. Keisha knew about Monica’s advances but she thought it was harmless. That’s what we all thought.

It was my brother’s birthday so me and the boys took him out for some drinks. I was totally wasted by the time I got home. I can hardly remember what happened but I know everyone was asleep. I didn’t bother with the lights in the sitting room; I just went straight for the couch. It wasn’t till I got there that I realized Keisha had been sitting there all along. She was wearing her favorite nightie, the silk and lace one. I couldn’t miss it; I bought it for her on our last anniversary.

I kissed my wife and she quickly grabbed my hand as if to support me from falling. “Come here, I’ve been waiting all night for you” she said. She held me tight in her arms and then she kissed me like she had really missed me. She helped me to the couch and within moments she was stroking and touching. We made sweet passionate love. The alcohol in my system made everything feel different – in a good way. She seemed a little more aggressive but I loved it.

When we were done, she got up and went into the bathroom, as she would normally do. But when she finished, she went straight into the room. I was too tired to get up so I slept on the couch.

Morning came, I woke up with the worst headache ever. Keisha greeted with me with a kiss “good morning babe, what time did you get back?” “What do you mean what time did I get back?” “I was in the room waiting for you but you never came.”

HOLY SHIT!

My head began to spin. “Where’s Monica.  And your mom?” “They left really early this morning.”

*speechless*

Keisha was wearing my t-shirt and a pair of shorts so I knew she wasn’t the one on the couch the night before. I couldn’t ask her any other question else she would have suspected something. God!!! I f*cked up! I’m never drinking again.

*Fast forward to the present*

Here we are now! The lady on the couch got pregnant that night but she had to get an abortion. I thought I would never get caught but I was wrong. Now I’m here wondering how to explain to the woman I love that I slept with another woman because I thought it was her? Will she believe me and how on earth am I supposed to tell her it was her mother?

“Say something Tyree!!” she yelled.

************

Hey everyone. So I decided to edit and put up this thought provoking piece sent to me by one of our baby closet writers (@TEMIptation) because of the comments from the Rules of (Dis)engagement post I put up on Monday. This piece is not a true-life story but I can tell you I’ve heard a true story that’s probably worse. Yes they are rare but they happen. Sometimes you just find yourself in that position you just can’t explain. Underwear sticking out of your couch; strangers sending you raunchy messages and pictures e.t.c. How does one tackle these situations without hurting the people you love or completely destroying the level of trust they have in you. You know the drill, use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.

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Lay or stay?

Ok, so this really isn’t a post. It’s more of a survey but I didn’t just want to put up a poll. Now, a friend of mine sent me a link to this blog post on how men should totally call chics after shagging (especially if it’s the first time and if it wasn’t defined as a one night stand from the onset). Well, this got me thinking about the endless debate on how a lot of us seem to know exactly what is we want from someone seconds, minutes, hours or for some, days after that first encounter.

Now, don’t jump the gun, Im not going to tell you to do us a list (maybe I will). What I’m just trying to see is if we can all come up with an average amount of time for guys and also for the ladies for how long it’ll take you to know if he/she is a lay or a stay.

For frequent readers here, y’all will know I can be a very very picky person (even sexually). Well, thats me. A lot of guys I know care very little about how intelligent the carrier of the yoni they stick their shlung in as long as they don’t intend for her to have their kids. In fact, screw intelligence, some don’t even care if they look like shit and I guess for people like this, coming up with an average amount of time it’ll take to classify chics should be minimal – seconds perhaps???

As for the ladies, things could get a bit tricky since they probably take a lot more “non-physical” characteristics into consideration. (I could be wrong here). My guess is that in making her decision, she’ll like to know what you do, the kinda genes that run through your family (hell no) and yada yada yada.

Before, I get to the erm… “methodology” I’ll just share my opinion. Some will say, love grows on you and you need a lot of encounters before you can make that decision and I agree with all of that BUT, I’ll still stay except you’re hooking up/getting married for a reason you more or less have no control over (you knocked her up, his father is Dangote, he is Zukerberg e.t.c. e.t.c), the truth is, after a few encounters – and I say encounters because it doesn’t just stop at looks – you can conveniently tell which side of the coin anyone falls.

That being said, lets get into this. So, I’ll make it easy, before your comment, kindly state your gender and then how long you think it’d take to categorize a person as lay or stay. e.g:

*******

Male

15 seconds

Comment:

*******

 

Ok, there you go, speak your piece. Cheers.

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