Over the weekend I spoke with a long time friend of mine and in trying to catch up I asked about his status with the ladies and to my surprise, his answer was pretty much straight up and drama free. One gurl and that was it. No distractions on the side, no handouts, freebies, prospects, just one gurl and they weren’t yet official or anything – he was just seeing one gurl.
Before you wonder too far, this was surprising to me cause of the person I was talking to. Not that he was that bad a person but as we continued talking, I realized this is something that seemed to have spread amongst most of my friends who used to be proud of their player cards in the past. A few years ago, it was almost always expected for an average guy to engage at least two gurls at the same time. Some referred to it as “keeping your options open” while others simple defined it as being a “player”.
The urban dictionary defines a player as:
A male who is skilled at manipulating (“playing”) others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex.
guy who is sustaining supposedly exclusive relationships with multiple girls simultaneously
After my conversation with my friend and many others, I realized the modern day player operates differently. This may be due to the not-completely-gone recession we experienced over the past couple of years (or not).
Lets give it a thought together, stringing multiple gurls equals longer talk time on phone/continuous or compulsory subscription to blackberry service which equals more money. Also, no matter how slick you are, you’ll encounter more movie dates, more lunch/dinner dates, don’t forget the birthdays and the occasional request for credit from here and there. What does all of this sum up to? Revenue revenue revenue. And if all that money is going out and you have still your one source of income (say you’re a salary earner) then it only makes sense to re-think your strategy and that might just be what has happened. I know some will go to say what if he’s some “oil money” big boy. Well, I don’t think that really matters; earning that much, his choices of venues for dates e.t.c will definitely be classier and thereby matching his income which brings him back to the same position as the average earner.
The modern day/recession player or playette as the case may be (will elaborate on this later) needs to be very economically aware. By focussing on one err… “subject” at a point in time, he gets to still eat his cake and have it, even though
it might take longer.
You might be wondering what my angle is here. Am I educating the players on better ways to go about their business or am I pointing out characteristics of the modern day player? Honestly, I’m still wondering too. But please share your thoughts on this issue, are my friends merely getting more matured and discovering the art of committing to just one person at a time or has the player as we used to know him truly evolved?
A lot of women like to say “I’m a player” or “I’m treating these guys just like they treat us”. They come to this conclusion because they sleep with a bunch of guys and feel like they don’t get emotionally attached and are just using these people for sex. They claim they “control their sexuality” and identify with Samantha of “Sex and The City” (yes … I watched the show) … but sadly … 95% of them are mistaken. To that mistaken majority … listen to me now:
YOU ARE A ho ho @#$*!
I’m just tired of these girls who are really promiscuous and loose thinking they are doing something special. You’re not! Just because you’re capable of sleeping with a lot guys does not make you special. Some call it a double standard (because a guy who can sleep with a lot of women may very well be a player) … and it may be … but then again life is filled with double standards. Fresh manicures are necessary for men. Short hair looks better on guys. Paying on the first date is almost a requirement for males. Accept them.
To be a female player, there are certain requirements to be called a female player. Here is a small list of criteria defining the “Female Player”:
You have a solid “team” of highly desirable men
You can’t be a player if you only have one guy. And you can’t be a player if your guys are all the people nobody wants. Any woman who considers herself a player, needs to have at her disposal a group of men that genuinely want her, show it, and she is not just sleeping with. You can sleep with people on the team … I’m not saying that … but if they’re staying around because of sex (as a woman … its almost impossible for you to know this) … then you’re not a player (and you might be a ho in his eyes) … but if its not the case … you might be a player.
You don’t have to sleep with a guy to get dinner, dates, and attention
It’s easy to get sex from a guy. Often times we’ll sleep with anyone as long as they are willing. Having money spent on you is significantly harder, but still not that hard. A lot of guys, especially the easy ones, are quick to spend money. When you get a combination of time & money; that is significant. Time being the key thing … as guys, we’re stingy with it … so to get a lot of time without giving sex for a prolonged period of time (2+ months) from several people … you might just be a player.
Your guys stay “in the game” for long periods of time (3+ months)
Most guys suffer from Relationship ADD and are quick to lose interest. I know this happens with plenty of males … so if you find that the people you are “entertaining” stay around for extended periods of time (without sex … cause sex will keep anyone around for ages) … then you might be a player.
Your guys say they love you and show it
“We don’t love them hoes” … a famous quote by Snoop Doggy Dogg and a general law of the land for men. If your a hoe or thought of as a hoe … then he should not and probably will not show you real love. If your people truly love you … you might be a player.
Your guys get mad and upset at you
Hoes and jumpoffs are not worth getting upset over. We might be mad that the “free sex” is over, but general we’re not going to expend that type of energy over a “second class citizen”. If the people on your team express hurt, caring, anger, disappointment, and other emotions his friend will clown him for … you might be a player.
So, there you go, I hope this was useful to the women out there … because this one goes out to you. I’m just tired of randy shagsons thinking they’re special (and not all women are hoes … I’m specifically talking to the hoes) because the title of player is not easily earned. Just to argue for the other side, there are a lot of guys thinking they are players (many of them simpletons in reality) … and I will touch on that subject shortly. Have a great weekend.
Jacked from SBM