I have heard people make the argument that you are never supposed to take of your wedding ring …What! Never take off your wedding ring? That’s craziness. So as a young unmarried bachelor, I have looked into my future and come up with my list of: When you can take of your wedding ring!
1. It’s itching
This is self-explanatory. Leave something on too long and the skin under it gets a little irritated. Let your finger breathe. Besides, if Meaghan Goode suddenly walks past me … I assume it would get really itchy and start to burn too.
2. Show someone the inscription
Assuming you got an inscription from your love one on the inside, won’t you want your best friend to see it?
3. You’re walking through the ‘hood’ and might be robbed
Not just any hood … I mean its got to be the ‘zanga’. Like where Thugnificent of “The Boondocks” grew up. Like anything might happen, the police don’t know the place exists, and babies selling weed. She’ll be mad if you don’t come home with it.
4. You’re about to get your finger licked by a stripper
Because it’s a stripper … its OK to get your finger licked (she a professional. Is your husband going to get jealous of your gynecologist?). But … not all strippers are to be trusted … so you might want to take of that platinum band before she wets your finger.
5. You’re smacking an ass that isn’t your wife
I respect the sanctity of marriage. Therefore, if you’re going to smack a random ass, perhaps one of the dancers at your friend’s bach eve, you should respect the ring and not befoul it with the ass sweat of another.
6. You’re cupping a stripper’s jugs
Again, its a stripper so its not wrong, and same principal as #5 … don’t befoul the ring.
7. To prove you “still got it” to hating friends.
If any of you watched Martin, there was an episode where Tommy and Cole told Martin that the only thing attracting women to him was his wedding ring and that he couldn’t “pull ‘em” like he used to. As a man, we have an obligation to prove our friends wrong no matter how dumb and pointless the challenge may be (had a friend who jumped through a campfire cause … well … another story). So he therefore took off his ring (and lost it) to prove to them he could still get women … which he did!
So there it is. If you are caught in photographs without a wedding ring, just refer to this handy list to quickly and easily justify the removal of the ring. Any other reason’s you can think of, please help out by leaving a comment. I know there has to be one I’m missing.
**Disclaimer**: This is a joke. Leave your wedding ring on peoples.
Jacked from SBM